YES WE CAN HAS A COMMERCE SECRETARY  3:00 pm March 25, 2009

Locke Is New Winner Of Latino Consolation Prize!

by Sara K. Smith

Now pls end the drought in CASure, Gary Locke isn’t even half-Mexican, but today he officially won the plum job first promised to the known Latino Bill Richardson, and then to known Republican Judd Gregg. He will be our new Commerce Secretary, which means that he gets to outsource the administration of the Census Bureau to ACORN, while handing over control of the National Weather Service and indeed the weather itself to Bill Ayers. Locke will oversee our shabby trade imbalance, and will put millions of Americans to work farming small pebbles for us to sell overseas. [Bloomberg]

 
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{ 15 comments }

Internally valid March 25, 2009 at 3:07 pm

OH NOES! THE CHINEES R TAKING OVR OUR COMMERS! ONE WOLRD CURRENSY COMMING UP! SOMMONE TEL MISHELL BOCKMAN!!1! (SHE”S HOTT BUY TEH WAY, O YA!)

Uncle Glenny March 25, 2009 at 3:09 pm

Will he put teh gayz back in the census?

(I read somewhere not too long ago that questions that allow them to determine how many gay couples live together had been eliminated. Anyone know?)

Mr Blifil March 25, 2009 at 3:14 pm

This, on top of allowing a question from Univision? Has Obama LOST HIS MIND?

user-of-owls March 25, 2009 at 3:14 pm

will put millions of Americans to work farming small pebbles

I’m pretty sure he’ll actually put us to work on building railroads. He’s got a pretty strong streak of irony.

Oh, and I think you meant “alleged” Latino Bill Richardson, cuz, c’mon…no way.

Serolf Divad March 25, 2009 at 3:16 pm

We’ll know this was all part of a clever ruse when the next census shows 23% of the population to be Chi-Coms!

assistant/atlas March 25, 2009 at 3:23 pm

I’d hit it.

Wait, no…sorry, I’m still a little horny from the Czech hottie pic.

masterdebater March 25, 2009 at 3:28 pm

Don’t panic! He’s asian, sort of, which means he is good with numbers and got A’s in math…he can probably fool folks into giving us more credit. Let the good times roll!

prizepig March 25, 2009 at 3:39 pm

Hey! Our trade imbalance isn’t shabby. It’s tremendous, fantastic, one of the greatest trade imbalances in the world.

BigDupa March 25, 2009 at 3:53 pm

I loved him in Star Trek

dougbob March 25, 2009 at 4:08 pm

Well of course you’d give the Weather Bureau to a Weatherman. Now if they can just figure out which way the wind blows…..

saggyboobedhag March 25, 2009 at 4:22 pm

Are we SURE this guy paid all his taxes and doesn’t fondle women in public?

And will someone tell me which one of these characters is Faye: 駱家輝

facehead March 25, 2009 at 4:26 pm

Richard Alpert must be behind this.

Red Zeppelin March 25, 2009 at 4:47 pm

The plan is clear: to enslave us all and send us to sweatshops, where we work 12 hour days making salad shooters and Barbies. If we work hard, and our one child does well on his college entrance exam, one day we can retire to the country with a Shanghai-made Buick. Obv. Mexicans become our Tibetans. But our trade deficit goes away in no time.

Custerwolf March 25, 2009 at 5:00 pm

Obama seems to like what we of “the other” Washington have to offer. Mr. President, if you’re ever looking for an intern with good dicktasting – er, I mean – DICTATING skills, please consider my resume.

nosnikreplliw March 26, 2009 at 1:03 am

plesident of shopping!

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