The Washington press corps has come full circle, everyone! Famous Karl Rove-loving wingnut Ron Fournier, who is somehow the Washington Bureau Chief for the AP, has written crucial News Analysis of the Obama press conference last night. We know it’s “analysis,” you see, because that word is in the headline: “Analysis: Teleprompter telegraphs Obama caution.”

WASHINGTON – What kind of politician brings a teleprompter to a news conference?

A careful one.

President Barack Obama took no chances in his second prime-time news conference, reading a prepared statement in which he took both sides of the AIG bonus brouhaha and asked an anxious nation for its patience.

You know what other kinds of politicians “bring” teleprompters — slung under their arms, we might assume — to news conferences? All of them, because you see they all have these things called “speechwriters.” It’s a little known fact, sure, but sometimes the remarks politicians give at events are already… pre-written! And then they “read” them to the public either from a teleprompter, or from sheets of paper, or note cards, who cares, all they have to do is read them authoritatively.

It seems that Ron Fournier and many others have forgotten the basic format of every single presidential press conference ever, which is for the President to read a prepared statement for 5 minutes or so and then take questions. Would they be happier if Obama spent five hours of his workday trying to memorize his remarks?

Analysis: teleprompter telegraphs Obama caution [AP]

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  • shortsshortsshorts


  • Capitol Hillbilly

    What kind of “journalist” writes a q/a lede?

    A shitty one.

  • The Jackson Five

    You have to excuse Ron as he’s been tucked away for the last couple years in one of Rove’s fat-creases subsiding on smegma and stray nail clippings.

  • Kaylub

    Can’t the mainstream media just be happy that the new president is actually giving press conferences? The last guy wasn’t real keen on talking to them at all, as I recall.

  • Mr Blifil

    Charlie Brown: I can’t stand it.

  • teebob2000

    And ACORN!!!11

  • CollegeStudent

    Can I get a first date teleprompter?
    Seems like a good idea

  • Noodle Salad

    President Sarah Palin vows never to use a teleprompter and wink at America until we all die of shame or horror. Also.

  • FMA

    Jeebus, doesn’t he know that you have to capitalize random letters in TeLePrOmTeR?

    Or just every other letter.

  • ArlingtonAaron
  • assistant/atlas

    Was the media always this bad and I was just too drunk to notice? Because while I have been drunk almost continuously since I was sixteen, but I’m pretty sure it’s getting ridiculous at this point.

  • Mr Blifil

    Hey Ron who’s more “careful,” the guys who read from a teleprompter when the subject is financial crisis, or the guys who will only allow campaign contributors to attend campaign appearances, even if doing so depresses crowd participation to the point where the candidate is mocked openly?

  • freakishlystrong

    Gawd the wackjobs are exhausting, this whole “TOTUS” shit is all they got?


  • Texan Bulldoggette

    Ron’s still sore because Barry beat his precious Walnuts (even as Ron tilted every AP article positively towards Walnuts). That being said, why would the AP, a supposedly neutral media outlet, hire someone so unashamedly partisan?

  • lumpenprole

    I suppose he could start using flashcards, but that’s probably twice as scandalous for reasons I won’t understand.

  • Serolf Divad

    Barack Obama uses a teleprompter to eat the arugula his wife plants in the Whitehouse Socialist-victory Garden.

  • pondscum

    [re=273157]assistant/atlas[/re]: Mom?

  • Tra

    Seriously, the teleprompter thing?


  • Texan Bulldoggette

    And does Ron think the teleprompter is like the magic 8 ball? Is it going to automatically know what questions are going to be asked & the answer magically appears on the teleprompter? WTF??

  • qwerty42

    it must be terrible when whatever is left of your gang of like-minded nuts run from crazy “concern” to crazy concern. Almost as if you had no coherent thoughts anymore and were content to be regarded as stupid as long as you got some attention.

  • Colander

    Isn’t everyone just pissed because Obama always calls on the Internets at these pressers, and now they feel jilted, like their friend-request went ignored?

  • zippy123

    Maybe the Prez doesn’t even need the TelePrompter. It’s probably part of his Stimulus plans – the White House put in a massive order for TelePrompters, and now hundreds of jobs in the Teleprompter industry have been saved!

  • gradgrind

    This fella Fournier must’ve spent most of hi school stuffed into his own locker by bullies whose career track he coveted desperately. Mission accomplished, Ronny! Now he gets paid the big moneys to make fun of people he doesn’t like.

    Success stories like his are why mainstream journalism will never die, even after most sane Americans volunteer to kill it with shovels.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …after 8 years of the poetic and eloquent proverbs of George Bush, Barack Obama is just trying to live up to his legend!

  • Holding Out for a Hero

    Well the word analysis does start with anal, so Mr. Fournier is in his element.

  • Kev-O-Tron

    [re=273140]Capitol Hillbilly[/re]: I’m no Journalism major but even I know that. It’s like using a rhetorical question as a thesis in an essay. There’s little wonder while print journalism is failing. While I hated seeing the Seattle P-I go under last week maybe if enough of them fail they’ll take the AP with them.

    Malkin, who is quickly gaining influence over the GOP lexicon, was successful in affixing the ‘porkulus’ label and has now taken to calling Obama the TOTUS for Teleprompter of the US. Le sigh…

  • Kev-O-Tron

    [re=273160]freakishlystrong[/re]: It is so fucking on.

  • El Pinche

    OMFG! Obama’s teleprompter is ALL CAPS, TOO!!1!!
    These wingnuts (because, make no mistake, Ron Fournier is just another rightwing tool) need some new material. We all need new material.

  • Internally valid

    Dear Ron Fournier-

    You are bad at your job.


  • CaliforniaMike

    Teh media be dead. Teh only thing to do to save teh journalism is to bring back great dead journalists and let them ask questions.

  • masterdebater

    It bears pointing out, again, that even WITH a teleprompter, Bush said the craziest shit a president of ANYTHING, ever uttered. It’s so strange that it didn’t bother the press way back, oh, last year. I recall it being “folksy”, and “down to earth”…it was in fact “functionally illiterate”, and “stupid”, but we aren’t supposed to notice…if we are hard working Americans..and patriots..not terrorists that want to blame America first.


    …And every one of Jay Leno’s lame-assed jokes are read from cue cards.

    How can a goddamned comedian read from cue cards?

    I don’t see no frickin cue cards in front of Rush Limballs, on those funny web-cam videos, from his radio digs, K-O always shows…

    Ronnie Raygun rarely spoke without a script or Nancy pulling the strings…

    I am done. Thanks.

  • Country Club Jihadi

    Next time, he should just go all “Special Olympics/David Paterson” freestyle on those fuckers.

  • ph7

    The GOP, with no literate heavyweight contender to challenge Obama in the ring, reverts to crying that he is “doping” by injection of mellifluous words via teleprompter.

  • chascates

    The tellyprompter is how the Lizard People communicate with their muslin operative.

  • CaliforniaMike

    [re=273160]freakishlystrong[/re]: You know who started teh teleprompter crap? That Fatboy down in Florida who eats teh drugs.

  • S.Luggo

    The teleprompter is Barry’s Vulcan harp, without it he would succumb to the blood fever of the “plak tow”.

    So watch your pussy ass, Fournier.

  • Hooray For Anything

    Even David Letterman’s smacking the press around about this.

  • CaliforniaMike

    [re=273195]masterdebater[/re]: Teh colored can be folksy too. It’s a shame we never elected Aunt Jemima president and Uncle Remus vice president.

  • problemwithcaring

    Analysis: teleprompter telegraphs Obama caution

    The head of the AP writes that as a headline and Denby thinks Wonkette is ruining political dialogue?

  • Mustang

    Why didn’t he give a few off-the-cuff remarks and tell a joke or two? Dog, Big O, can’t you be keepin’ it real?

    At least he didn’t have a wire running up his back so he can be fed answers to questions, like some presidents we know.

  • V572625694

    [re=273173]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Ask again later.

  • SomeNYGuy

    Bush never needed a Teleprompter because he had Michael Gerson feeding him his lines from his “undisclosed secret location” somewhere in W’s lower intestine.

  • jumpthesnark

    The Red Staters are crapping thmselves more than usual over this of course, basically saying “even Obama’s supporters have to agree that he uses a teleprompter now! Anyone can see it! WE WERE RIGHT!!!11!!!!!” while missing the point all along that they’re always used for speechifying. Duh.

    But hey, at least they’ve moved on from the “he’s not really the preznit” thing.

  • snideinplainsight

    Must…remain…calm… …must…not…type…url…

    Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.

  • snideinplainsight

    Whoops! I was trying to link to

  • freakishlystrong

    [re=273200]CaliforniaMike[/re]: He is teh King of the Nutz!

  • Tra

    Obama’s supporters: Yes.
    Wingnuts: Surely you cannot DENY now that he uses a TelePrompTer!??? Admit it! Admit he uses a telEprOmpter!
    Obama supporters: Of course he does.
    Wingnuts: Do YOU DENY IT?
    Obama supporters: No. Why?
    Obama supporters: Um, not a clue. What?
    Wingnuts: …

  • El Pinche

    Oh man, bumper sticker is badly needed: JESUS IS MY TELEPROMPTER.

  • Will work for shoes

    [re=273144]Kaylub[/re]: But this president makes the press look stupid. The previous president…not so much.

  • bidenluvr6969

    Remember when the world was shocked to learn that Britney Spears didn’t write her own songs? As if, like, Debbie Gibson did? Same bullshit.

  • Will work for shoes

    [re=273165]lumpenprole[/re]: When I think of the president and “flash” it ain’t cards I’m thinking about.

  • WadISay

    This has got to be some kind of a job action by the Washington press corps: they are all just going to get belligerantly stupider and stupider until Obama promises to stop calling on anyone but big media and attend the next Gridiron dinner.

  • qwerty42

    [re=273211]jumpthesnark[/re]: they never give up on these things until it is past all relevance. anyone remember “the failed Clinton presidency”?

  • Come here a minute

    I always loved when the shrub would come and call everyone insulting nicknames, like “stretch” and “d-bag”, then wing it with lies written by Rove. Those were the days!

  • magic titty


  • Will work for shoes

    [re=273203]CaliforniaMike[/re]: I bet a bunch of folks think that’s who we did elect. We just can’t see it ’cause we’ve been blinded by the kool-aid.

  • Hooray For Anything

    I kinda wish something like this would happen on CNN tonight:

    Anderson Cooper: Okay, let’s bring on America’s Best News Team to discuss the important topics of the day. We have on our panel, David Gergen, David Broder, David Bowie from the 1972 Ziggy Stardust Tour, and Tim Russert’s dad. David Gergen, what do you think of this whole Teleprompter issue?
    DG: Seriously? Seriously? That’s what we’re talking about? This is the dumbest fucking bullshit I think I’ve ever had to debate on any news broadcast and that’s saying a lot because I’m on all of them.
    AC: Okay, David Broder, what do you think?
    DBroder: I think that David Gergen is right and and that this is one of the dumbest things we’ve debated in all of my 120 years as a political journalist. But I also think that the fact the Republicans are making hay of this shows that Obama is failing in his efforts to be bipartisan
    AC: Okay, David Bowie from the 1972 Ziggy Stardust tour, what do you think?
    Bowie: I think Obama should wear an eyepatch
    AC:And, finally, Big Russ, what do you say about all of this?
    Big Russ: Well, I think my son would find some quote from Obama criticizing somebody about using one, challenge him on it, and then talk about the Buffalo Bills. But I also think he’s pretty much rolling in his grave right now.
    AC: You’re right, this is some of the dumbest shit I’ve been forced to talk about. I quit this bitch.

  • Disinterested

    [re=273228]bidenluvr6969[/re]: Point valid, example bad. Debbie Gibson is an outlier in the teen-pop universe, because she actually *did* write her own songs. See:

  • Will work for shoes

    [re=273231]WadISay[/re]: He’s already started looking in other places for some media smarts. Dude called on a French paper before the NYT?!?!?11? Really is an anti-American socialist who covets Carla Bruni.

  • sezme

    You know who else used a teleprompter? George HW “Message: I care” Bush, that’s who. Let’s see if Barack “wait for applause” Obama has learned some important lessons like Bush Sr. did so that he can successfully pass the presidency down to Malia as god intended. Wait, what?

  • Mad Farmer Manifest

    This teleprompter thing is like some bullshit excuse that a 5-year old comes up with when caught swiping cookies. It deserves the same response:

    /grabs temples with left hand, sighs, and extends right hand to retrieve stolen cookies.

  • snideinplainsight

    [re=273246]Hooray For Anything[/re]: Total, massive WIN!

    And who isn’t talking about the Bills, really? And who wouldn’t benefit from an eyepatch?!

    The only way that could’ve been better is if Cokie Roberts showed up at the end, and flashed everyone. And did that giggle of hers.

  • Keram2

    1 tel•e•prom•tard n (1) One who doesn’t realize that a teleprompter is a useful device used by politicians, television personalities, and even journalists. (2) Ron Fournier (3) One who has undergone telepromtardation.

  • Violenza

    Maybe it’s not even just the tElEpRoMtER, maybe Baracka’s lip-synching…perhaps now Cantor can claim that Brit Brit concert was purely for “research”.

  • Internally valid

    Tra[/re]: You’re right, they don’t even understand why a teleprompter would be a bad thing. Case in point (and this is just sad):

  • Violenza

    Any true patriot knows that goddamn Muslin has been in the pocket of Big Teleprompter for years. Typical Chicago politician.

  • Roger the Shrubber

    Christ. The next thing you know, Obama will hire speechwriters.

  • magic titty

    [re=273223]El Pinche[/re]: Yes please.

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Reading from notes or a prepared script = True American.

    Reading from a teleprompter = Commie Fag Muslim.

    It’s true.

    However, it does remind of the fact that in the early 80s, the Europeans thought that Reagan had a new security system since he had these glass panels in front of him whenever he gave a speech or prepared remarks. They had never seen a politician use a teleprompter before.

    From this we learn that Ronald Wilson Reagan, the Fortieth President of the United States, was a Commie Fag Muslim.

  • stopmebeforeitypeagain

    Hopey is in the tank for tElEpRoMpTeRs.

    Fournier is in the tank for pondscum. Lotsa wingnutz and investment bankers in that tank — the one with the pondscum. The nutz and bankers are getting all green and slimy. (More than before, I mean.) Getting crowded in that tank ….

  • El Pinche

    [re=273314]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]:

    Reading My Pet Goat while America burns and creating a whole series of Bushisms books = A President with History on its side!

    Republicans would love to forget the last 8 years.

  • bago

    Ron pouriniefrenchfagshiz? Commie!

  • Mahousu

    [re=273260]Mad Farmer Manifest[/re]: Thanks, you just reminded me that we have some leftover oatmeal chocolate chip cookies! Wonkette delivers again!

    I mean, in a metaphorical sense. I don’t think you can get real cookies through an RSS feed.

  • teebob2000

    [re=273277]Internally valid[/re]: Where the hell did you find that moran?? He doesn’t even have wingnuts commenting on his posts…

  • teebob2000

    [re=273176]qwerty42[/re]: Isn’t that the very definition of “reality teevee”?

  • Snarxon’s Holler

    [re=273274]Keram2[/re]: Telepromptard … WIN.

  • Snarxon’s Holler

    [re=273274]Keram2[/re]: With your permission (or without), I’m going to head over to Jake Tapper’s ABC blog and spread that little gem around.


    Can’t stop lolzing.

  • The Helvetica Scenario

    They’re just jealous because Bush couldn’t read a TeLeProMpTer.

    Because he’s illiterate, you see.

  • gurukalehuru

    It’s not just that he uses a teleprompter, he also uses a blackberry!

    …but yes, 70 million whore diamonds for Keram2.

  • Tra

    [re=273277]Internally valid[/re]: My official name is BlackBerry-1, but Big-O calls me B-1. Aint that cute. I just love it when Big-O wraps those big hands around me and caresses my keys. He’s so gentle and warm. And boy are his hands soft and smooth.

    Why are they all sexually obsessed with our president? I mean, he’s hot and all, but I don’t visualize being his Blackberry.

  • Atlas Spanked

    It’s so cute when the press tries to grow a spine.
    Like watching a toddler’ first steps.

  • glamourdammerung

    I like how Red State is suggesting that Reagan did not use a TelePromPter.

    Even though admitedly, Reagan’s screw ups with notecards were more amusing.

  • Magginkat

    Chicken George didn’t use a teleprompter. He was wired so Mommy Hughes could recite the approved answers into his ear piece.

  • Mr Blifil

    [re=273593]Magginkat[/re]: That’s actually not funny, even on the level of irony. In fact you got me a little bit pissed even thinking about the subject. Liberals are such douches. We don’t even talk about the box on Bush’s back anymore.

    ARI FLEISCHER: Box? Hahahhahhahahha. Right. Box. Hehehhehehheh. What box? C’mon propose a serious hahaaahhaaa question hehhehheeehhheehehh AHHHhhhaaAHHAAAA!!!11!!!1 Is there a question in there. Heh. Aaahhhhh. Mmhemm. Hmm.

  • bitchincamaro

    [re=273593]Magginkat[/re]: Marlon Brando, in the earpiece, 90% of the time. 10% in the bunghole. And still, a great actor.

  • June Cleaver 2.0

    The teleprompter is just a sophisticated note card. But the Republicans, being electronically challenged, may think it’s a puff the magic teleprompter, where good ideas live and multiply since they have no idea about where good ideas come from.

    Also, Republicans want Obama to keep his head turned down in a note card so his looks won’t embarrass Jindal’s. Jindal uses a teleprompter too, but he should keep his head turned down in note cards. For the sake of us all.

  • June Cleaver 2.0

    [re=273518]Tra[/re]: I do!

  • ihfiapc

    I blame myself for letting my Hot Soup account expire.

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