Wonkette
Is David Vitter’s dad the Pope? Does he know about the Aliens and Area 51? What explains this foul whore-soiling scumbag’s ability to evade justice? Not only did he get caught whoring via the since-suicided DC Madam’s phone records, but he was infamous in New Orleans for demanding his hookers dress him in an adult diaper, so he could do his special business. And, earlier this month, Vitter caused an airport-terrorism incident at Dulles when he, an idiot, missed his flight. The TSA says it won’t send Vitter to Gitmo because he’s a senator. Jesus. [Talking Points Memo]
The TSA doesn’t want to play into Vitter’s hands. Vitter has been itching to get into GITMO ever since he heard about the “enhanced interrogation techniques”. Why pay hookers to put him in stress positions when he could get it free from Uncle Sam?
Untouched by man or law, Vitter flies free above the clouds which mere groundlings see as a registered trademark of Dependz, or something, something.
I seem to remember that transport for extraordinary rendition involved diapers. (A buttplug too?)
Did David Vitter,
eyes aglitter,
raise a titter
when his s***ter
was seen on Twitter?
Depends.
See, when your last name sparks such horrid rhymes, your beatdowns start from kindergarten up through about fifth grade. Then you internalize the abuse for a lasting mental ulcer that keeps dripping hot pus all over your psyche and your libido forever after. Also.
I like this headline better:
http://tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com/2009/03/bachmann-spokesman-her-remarks-about-revolution-were-metaphorical.php?ref=dc3
Bachmann Spokesman: Her Remarks About Revolution Were Metaphorical
- March 24, 2009, 11:08AM
Now this
“Nawww honey. It ain’t terrorism if the diaper ain’t loaded.”
Vitter knows where the dead diapers are buried……
Vitter: Do you know who I am?
Gate Attendant: Umm. Depends.
Let this be a lesson to you, you don’t mess with Li Grand Zombi in Louisiana, assuming you want your love ones to remain amongst the living.
Of course the stuff about Vitter and prostitutes is all blown out of proportion. In his defense, he was just following Cheney’s orders to go fuck himself.
Since there are no laws in Texas against locking up the retarded, I don’t understand how he beat this rap.
I read on Art Bell’s website years ago that all the republican good ol boys get together once a year at a camp for a week of whiskey, sodomy and campfire songs. They all have nasty pictures of each other to ensure their loyalty to the party. Odd that hacks from the TSA get invited to events like this but they apparently do.
Diapers? Temper tantrums in public? What’s next: “No, the Senator won’t be attending to vote. He had to go to the doctor to have a crayon dislodged from his nose.”?
Hasn’t he suffered enough?
no, not even close …
And Vitter got away with causing Katrina. Also.
Dust his nappy with itching powder.
I am sure Mrs. Vitter needs some Tommy comforting after this brutal incident.
grevillea: Oh, does wittle Senator have a boo-boo? It’s ok to cry. It must hurt really bad! Here, lay back in your crib, and take the next, oh, four years off from the Senate. Maybe by then, you’ll be potty trained and can play with the big boys!
The man is jonesing. His original plan was to rush the door and get a taser take down with the resultant bowel movement assuming he loaded up on greasy convenience food beforehand.
Instead he broke wind and ran like a dog. His demons are relentless however, it’s just a matter of time.
My favorite part of the original story is “When the gate attendant left to find a security guard, Vitter turned tail and simply fled the scene.” Preferably to the strains of “Yakety Sax” and with sloshing sound effects thrown in.
P.S. Did Jindal turn in a repeat performance yesterday, or did they keep him confined to some garbled broadcast on pirate radio that could only be descrambled with secret information from the Rush Limbaugh decoder ring?
Why no alt text on that photo above? How about “Mrs. Vitter stars in douche commercial”?
New Rule: anyone who uses the “Do you know who I am” tactic, ever, in any context, has to live on minimum wage for a month, in public housing in DC, and with 4 kids and no spouse or partner income. No access to anything from his real life, just dropped into that situation cold. Have fun, rich, White assholes!
Good lord, think of the Gitmo diaper bill. The American taxpayers have a heavy load already.
How are you supposed to poop on your trollop if you’re wearing a diaper? I’m confused.
My comment: A house remix of someone chanting “douche” at 4/4 over and over again. Granted, this comment was intended for the press conference, but will work here.
Though we all may be diapered, some of us are more diapered than others.
bago: douche douche diaper diaper douche douche diaper diaper.
“Yeah, I pointed a gun at Senator Vitter, but I decided to stop after all those Capitol Police seemed to get upset about the whole thing, so I just decided to just drop the gun and run away. I wasn’t really a threat to his security, honest!”
“I threw a brick at the jewelry store window, the alarm went off, but I just walked away. I wasn’t going to steal anything!”
Oh, wait, now I get it! It wasn’t infidelity with that NOLA hooker because he pulled out at the end!
Guppy06: or, it wasn’t infidelity because she was a hooker.
Oh Wendy, didn’t Momma ever tell you that a little bit of leopard goes a long way?
Is it just me or does it look like Vitter is doing his “special business” as the photo was taken?
My toddler gets the exact same look right before he gives a “AIG bonus”, as they are now known in my home.
memzilla: Wow, thanks for that unforgettable metaphor!
No justice. No pees.
I can understand them not sending Vitter to Gitmo because he’s a senator, but why can’t they send him to Gitmo because he’s Vitter? Why? Why? Why?
Doglessliberal: Sounds great - but it won’t be just ‘white’ assholes… I had deservedly unpopular former NYC mayor David Dink-bag pull that line on me @ the DNC back in 2000. My response to him was “Yes, I know who you are, but it doesn’t matter.” Jeez - Whatta douche! I still wonder who went out of their way to get him ticket, and why…