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RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS

Plus, Who Even Knows If This Guy, Barack Obama, Is Capable Of Giving A Decent Speech?

  • K-Lo (who we’ll remind you is now a Serious Artist and would like to be called by her Christian name, “Jennifer Lopez”) is terribly upset that Obama is speaking at Notre Dame’s commencement because Obama is pro-choice and is therefore incapable of reciting vaguely inspirational pleasantries for 25 minutes. [Firedoglake]
  • Ditto Newt Gingrich, a non-Cathlolic, who doesn’t think Obama, also a non-Catholic, is Catholic enough. [Media Matters]
  • Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton tried to give the Russians a red button with the word “reset” on it, for friendship (?), except of course obviously the state department was incapable of correctly translating this single word. [Daily Intel]
  • Here is Meghan McCain, wearing her old costume from Phoenix Senior High’s freshman-and-sophomores-only production of Chicago, talking about how she can’t add. You know, with numbers. Meghan McCain for Notre Dame commencement speaker! [The XX Factor]
  • Some Washington middle schoolers got to hang out with Obama today and watch him hang out with space astronauts and talk about Tang, for such is their wont. [The Caucus]


4:59 PM on Tue March 24 2009
By Juli Weiner
1078 Views

  1. Texan Bulldoggette says at 5:04 pm, March 24th, 2009

    So Newt’s converting to Catholicism, eh? Guess that means he’ll have the Pope’s blessing to dump his wife for little boys now, because he so looks like Chester the Molester.

  2. Atheist Nun says at 5:07 pm, March 24th, 2009

    middle schoolers got to hang out with Obama today and watch him hang out with space astronauts and talk about Tang,

    …as opposed to Clinton, who talked to astronauts and children about PoonTang.

  3. Uncle Al says at 5:11 pm, March 24th, 2009

    Poor Meghan is so painfully ditzy and self-centered–just like Dubya, now that I think of it. She’ll be our next President.
    Favorite moment: where she says she’s pro-life, but would never pass judgment on anyone who’s pro-choice. Too dim to realize that for pro-life people, the whole point is passing judgment on pro-choice. Otherwise there’s no issue.

  4. jagorev says at 5:11 pm, March 24th, 2009

    How dare Obama address Catholics, whom he won by a 10 point margin?!

  5. Bearbloke says at 5:12 pm, March 24th, 2009

    Atheist Nun: Children are naturally afraid of Republicans…

  6. imissopus says at 5:12 pm, March 24th, 2009

    Ha ha, Meghan told Larry King Obama is on the verge of “overexposure.” Pot, kettle…you’re black.

    Though a little “exposure” might get Meghan a date one of these days. Also.

  7. grevillea says at 5:21 pm, March 24th, 2009

    Yeah, cause however labeled, a ‘red button’ is a great gag gift for the Russian Foreign Minister! No chance of awkwardness or offense or misunderstandings there, obviously! Diplomacy: look it up, nimrods.

  8. The Sea Farmer says at 5:23 pm, March 24th, 2009

    I’d like to enter a kickboxing competition against K-LO

  9. Red Zeppelin says at 5:24 pm, March 24th, 2009

    Actually, Newt did convert to Catholicism because his current wife (the one he left his dying wife for) is Catholic. My guess is he did it because he’s looking for the Holy Grail, and is hoping to get into Opus Dei.

  10. Country Club Jihadi says at 5:25 pm, March 24th, 2009

    The only button Sergei Lavrov should accept now is Clinton’s belly button, for vodka shots.

  11. WadISay says at 5:35 pm, March 24th, 2009

    The local paper has a story today about how the Catholic Church is reviving the practice of selling indulgences, thereby conveniently (a) reducing punishment in advance for the sinner, and (b) monetizing sin as a revenue source for the Church. Sweet. I’d like to know what K-Lo and George Will’s weekly tab is.

  12. Unsilly says at 5:42 pm, March 24th, 2009

    So, what did the button say in Russian, “I fuck goats”?

  13. Atheist Nun says at 5:44 pm, March 24th, 2009

    WadISay: Fuck yeah! I’m going to open up an ‘Indulgence Hut’ franchise in between my medical marijuana dispensary and my porn store, I’ll clean up!

  14. cheeto_jeebus says at 5:44 pm, March 24th, 2009

    Country Club Jihadi: I’m glad I had a nice tasty lunch, ’cause i just got to taste it again.

  15. Mr Blifil says at 5:47 pm, March 24th, 2009

    Not to worry, the nice Catholic children fuckers at Notre Dame will allow Barry to use his TELEPROMPTRZ provided they get to swap in some delicious baby murdering rhetoric, like maybe an apology for all the babies he murdered.

  16. Blue Line says at 5:59 pm, March 24th, 2009

    Red Zeppelin: I think he’s converting for the woman that he left the woman he left his dying wife for, actually…

  17. Red Zeppelin says at 6:11 pm, March 24th, 2009

    Blue Line: OK, thanks for clearing that up–it is confusing.

  18. Will work for shoes says at 6:16 pm, March 24th, 2009

    imissopus: A co-worker thought Obama was on tv too much; I told her not to watch. I also mentioned that plenty of folks didn’t agree with her since he consistently gives the shows he’s on their highest ratings. Me, I can’t get enough of the dude.

  19. grevillea says at 6:19 pm, March 24th, 2009

    Blue Line: Good old biblical family values! How many handmaidens does he have?

  20. Brendan M. says at 6:20 pm, March 24th, 2009

    He’s actually set the date for his official conversion (http://mediamatters.org/countyfair/200903240011).

    Unsilly: The button said “peregruzka,” which means “overloaded” or “overcharged.” “Perezagruzka” is the Russian word for “reset.”

  21. Custerwolf says at 6:28 pm, March 24th, 2009

    So when’s Larry interviewing the 15 year-old bus farter?

  22. chascates says at 6:32 pm, March 24th, 2009

    WadISay: Do child molesting priests get a discount?

  23. graceless says at 6:35 pm, March 24th, 2009

    Brendan M.: Brendan M.: It’s good that you know that. It would have been better if our Secretary of State, or any of her underlings, could have LOOKED IT UP. How hard was it? We looked like amateurs.

    HRC “We worked really hard to get it right.”
    Russia, “Well, you got it wrong.”

    End rant. *sigh*

  24. Brendan M. says at 6:39 pm, March 24th, 2009

    grevillea: His staff is much smaller now that he is no longer the Speaker of the House, but he did just start up a new PAC…

    graceless: Yeah, but Sec. Clinton has really modernized the State Department’s website and even put State on Twitter.

  25. hobospacejungle says at 6:42 pm, March 24th, 2009

    So I take it K-Lo’s against pre-marital sex, right?

  26. Brendan M. says at 6:44 pm, March 24th, 2009

    graceless: Also, she had a decent recovery, saying that since she and her Russian counterpart were trying to reset US-Russia relations, a difficult task, they actually were pretty “overloaded.” Ironically, this is one area that Sec. Rice might have been better suited for, as she is a Russian specialist…

  27. sarcasticusername says at 6:47 pm, March 24th, 2009

    how does a man with a stupid ass name like newt gingrich, not get repeatedly kicked in the balls by random people?

  28. graceless says at 6:51 pm, March 24th, 2009

    Brendan M.: No. She changed nothing. Not even Dipnote’s stupid name. She is credited with changing nothing.

  29. Hooray For Anything says at 7:17 pm, March 24th, 2009

    Brendan M.: Also, Rice was used to having to apologize to foreign leaders about something dumb our government did.

    Will work for shoes: I think all those people complaining he’s on tv too much are just confused because they’re not used to seeing a President who wasn’t on vacation all the time.

  30. Jukesgrrl says at 7:48 pm, March 24th, 2009

    When one converts to Catholicism, all sins committed prior to the conversion are forgiven on the grounds the convertee didn’t know any better, not being Catholic. It happens even faster if the conversion is accompanied by a check.

    And note to Meghan McCain: You better stop with the Larry King appearances. He hasn’t had a new wife for about 20 minutes and you kinda look like his type.

  31. hobospacejungle says at 7:50 pm, March 24th, 2009

    All Hillzbot had to do was translate ONE FUCKING WORD and with all the might & intelligence (?) of the US American government at her fingertips she still managed to fuck it up. What a surprise. Shouldn’t have fired all them queer translators from the Army for being teh ghey.

  32. Brendan M. says at 10:13 pm, March 24th, 2009

    graceless: Hooray For Anything: hobospacejungle: OKAY! I’m just trying to throw those fucking PUMAs a goddamn bone. For fuck’s sake…

  33. Gallowglass says at 1:57 am, March 25th, 2009

    Ahahaha! The Meghan interview is priceless.

    “I don’t think theres anyone who really antithesizes the ideals of the republican party,”
    She gets points for using big words but loses them for looking like a moron.

    “Progressive Republican” sounds like “Compassionate fascism” from Doonesbury.

    “I am a different generation than the people who are giving me heat.”
    That’s what she said! Woo!

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