Wonkette
Earlier we showed Barney Frank yelling at the goddamn Code Pink hippies on multiple occasions, but what else happened during this latest 94-hour grandstanding spectacle of a House Financial Services Committee hearing? Why the economy got saved, of course! Ha ha. (Kill us.) America’s C-SPAN watchers did, however, get to see such luminaries as Ron Paul, Michele Bachmann and Maxine Waters confuse and/or irritate the hell out of Geithner and Bernanke (mostly Geithner — he scowls!) Plus there was this crazy guy from Illinois whom Bernanke shot down during a rare burst of self-confidence. Hooray for Congress! Burn it!
Here is California Democratic Rep. Maxine Waters, a real muckraker if ever there were. She spends a few minutes asking if various government people used to work for Goldman Sachs (one of whom, Geithner’s chief of staff, she refers to as Geithner’s “CEO,” and Geithner’s all like wtf?) Finally she reaches the big question, which is about whether Goldman Sachs secretly decides every decision about money. You know, she’s asking if he and others used their government positions to give cash to a bank with which they had personal ties — just like Maxine Waters did!
Hey look, Dr. Congressman Ron Paul showed up too. Hooray for sadness! Like every other time he ever gets to speak in public, he first must spend four (4) minutes outlining the basics of his economic philosophy before demanding that everyone run around naked in the free market.
How the crikey fuck did Michele Bachmann land a seat on the Financial Services Committee? Doesn’t she actively want to overthrow the government anyway, making her a hypocrite for working in the government? Anyway, here she spends the first minute or so visibly annoying Tim Geithner by asking how the Constitution allows the Treasury to do what it does. Geithner responds (paraphrasing), “Congress passed a law to allow us to do these things.” You know, whatsitcalled… ARTICLE I, SECTION I? This exact back and forth goes on for several more rounds. Then she asks both Bernanke and Geithner if they will “categorically renounce” a new “global currency” that China has been teasing recently. They both are like uhh, obviously? And then it’s a few more questions until Barney Frank finally tells Bachmann to shut the fuck up.
Here’s how Illinois Republican Rep. Donald Manzullo likes to “grill” folks:
MANZULLO: Explain money.
BERNANKE: Well you have to consider the uhh caveats–
MANZULLO: WHY CAN’T I GET A YES OR NO ANSWER HERE? EVERYONE IS POOR.
Donald Manzullo is kind of a dingus, you see. And after demanding YES OR NO answers from everyone for a minute or so, he asks Ben Bernanke why this is so hard, and Bernanke MANS UP and says, “Because it’s a poorly posed question.” That’s the soft-spoken economist’s way of telling someone to go die of cancer, alone.
Haha, I kinda like Bernanke now.
I LOVE what Michelle Bachmann is doing with her hair. Crazy and beautiful hair - sort of like my first girlfriend. I’d hit it.
Isn’t Bachmann from Minnesota? Why does she have Southern lady hair now?
Kazakhastan???
Michelle looks like a Breck girl.
Is the House Financial Services Committee an outlier, or is the rest of Congress this high on the nutjob scale? That would explain a lot, actually.
Every time I see elected officials in action I am convinced that these people are completely unsuitable for any other type of employment.
Vulpes82: Yup. His explanation of the word “stigma” to Rep. M.B.O. was heroic. Cuz she didn’t know what the word meant.
jagorev: This is a representative sample, unfortunately. Or fortunately, from the point of view of most of us. Nothing like five minutes of Michelle Bachmann to make Geithner and Bernacke seem human and reasonable.
rachelv: Breck girl with Botox.
wtf w/ Ron Paul? revulusion!!11!!
Kabanx: Michelle’s from Brainard — you know, like Frances McWhatsername in “Fargo.” She has touches of that accent, too, but Brainard is as rural and rednecky as anyplace in Alabama. I’d sure like to hit that, just to knock the crazee out of her.
Love the way Geithner keeps saying, “your government.” It’s going to make the wingnuts talk about the other government….ZOG must die!
jagorev: With a car or a pick-axe?
FMA: I know, I didn’t anything could get me to feel sorry for Geithner, but anyone who puts up with Maxine Waters is an American Hero. Give the boy a Medal of Honor.
rachelv: All true Americans support the replacement of our currency with the Kazakhstani Tenge.
My favorite is a 4:10 in the Ron Paul video, where we see Bald Ben Bernanke with the title “Hairman.”
shortsshortsshorts: Hey, some of us have a thing for big-haired crazy brunettes. Call it a fetish
Why is that woman crazy?
I’m surprised it took Barney that long to put the kibosh on Michelle Batshit. Were it me, as soon as she opened her mouth, it would’ve been all “Bitch please. Moving on…”
Geithner’s scowl translates to “how the fuck do you manage to wipe your own ass?”
Ohhh. Earth TO Obama. I thought it meant, Earth-2 Obama, as in, a non-canonical Obama from the Silver Age or something.
jagorev: Yeah. It’s a lot fun right up to the point where it isn’t, which is usually about the same time they set fire to all of your clothes in the living room.
These clips would deter any semi-smart person from working at Treasury. We get the government we deserve.
Michele Bachmann:
People experiencing psychosis may report hallucinations or delusional beliefs, and may exhibit personality changes and disorganized thinking. This may be accompanied by unusual or bizarre behavior, as well as difficulty with social interaction and impairment in carrying out the activities of daily living.
That sounds about right.
FMA: I bet Michelle is amazing in the sack.
Is it my imagination or is Michele Bachmann’s overbite getting more pronounced? (I only ask because of my interest in fitting her with a ball gag.)
http://www.rebeccaholden.com/200712Website/Photographs/Rebecca%20Holden%20Ad%20&%20Mag%20Pics/Breck-Girl-01.gif
must go to Rite Aid and pick up some Breck, and maybe some Alberto VO-5 hot oil treatment…
Atheist Nun: Yikes. That describes my social circle.
FMA: Hell yes. If I were Obama, I wouldn’t give an address to the American people, I would just play the Bachmann clip over and over again.
Bachmann: Mr. Secretary, how can we be assured of the constitutionality of Chinese money in black helicopters being paid by the government to space aliens at the time of the rapture?
Hmmm. “CNN Update” on the Manzullo clip: “Komodo dragons kill Indonesian farmer.” Sounds about right.
I know the purpose of congress is to represent average americans in the federal government, but do the congress critters have to be average americans, too? Sigh.
We truly get the government we deserve.
jagorev: Yeah, but she’d tie you down and read from Atlas Shrugged. Total Boner Killer.
Here’s a mystery. Why do all republican congressmen sound like Foghorn Leghorn?
jagorev: former lovers have used the words cat-like, vixen, bestial
Where was Lyn Westmoreland, from Georgia’s 3rd? He would have rounded out the circus. Michele Bachmann is the craziest congresscreature, and Westmoreland is the stupidest, so it would have rounded off the proceedings. Westmoreland could’ve asked how the bailouts stood up to the Ten … er … Three … er … Two and a Half Commandments, used some barely disguised racist code word, and finished up in time for a filming of the Colbert Report.
Ka-Zack-istan?
Did they just call Michelle Bachman the “gentleman” from Minnesota?
jagorev: But those eyes!!!! Saying that she has crazy vacant stare isn’t just being snarky. [shivers.]
Crab1: Especially jobs RUNNING OUR COUNTRY!!1!
Holy motherfuck. Earth to Obama my ass - how soon can we ship MBO, Manzullo et al to the black hole at the center of the galaxy?
Texan Bulldoggette: By the end of the day, Timmy’s forehead is going to look like Worf’s on Star Trek the Next Generation (who was totally doing Counselor Troi).
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Worf
Damn, watching Crazy Eyes speak gave me new found sympathy for both Five Head and Papa Bear Bernanke. Michelle was really doing her best Sarah Palin impression with her Wonder Woman hair and her “I’ll wear glasses to look smart then REMOVE them to accentuate the fact that I! MEAN! BUSINESS!” line of questions. Then there’s the wingnut favorite of “Where in the CONSTITUTION!!1!” Damn girl. You be workin’ them crazy eyes with that copious eyeliner. Lay it ON us. Then Barney shakes the Aquanet out of her hair, ruining our fun.
Gopherit: I bet she can write out Galt’s radio address with her tongue.
Colander: Oh, don’t worry, your friends are probably using the marijuana or something.
Bachmann, on the other hand, has the crazy. And it’s not just regular crazy. It’s dangerously stupid crazy. Which she has written down, to actually read out loud at a House Financial Services Committee hearing. How did she land a seat on the Committee? More like: who let her out of that room in the mental institution which was padded for her own safety?
Fuck you again, Minnesota. Really. Just… fuck you.
Bachmann really looks like shit. What’s with the crazy eye-liner? I used to be lured by her potent mix of blatant insanity and MILFy good looks: you just knew she’d be a complete vixen in the sack. Now that she’s beginning to resemble Marilyn Manson after a night on the bat blood, she’s not having any of my man-butter.
Is it just me, or is Barney Frank ADORABLE? He’s like a rumpled little hangdog professor who gives all our monies away.
V572625694: Hey! Bachman is NOT from Brainerd. DO NOT BLAME HER ON BRAINERD!! She is from St. Cloud. Keep your small redneck MN towns straight. You betcha.
assistant/atlas:
hangdog–> handjobAtheist Nun: No no no. Fuck YOU. We claim no responsibility for this whackadoo. We are the blue state that brought you Senator Paul Wellstone. Bachman is just some crazy-eyed mutant who has seduced all of her district with her Medusa-like hair.
Who’s the cute guy, with the bad hair, behind Dr. Paul?
Congresswoman Bachmann, can you point to exactly where on the map is Kazakastan?
sra:
If he’s a hairman, how will he be able to resist the charms of the gentlewoman from Minnesota???
I didn’t realize Kazakhstan was such a powerful world player that their opinion on anything (except how to be made an embarrassment by a British comedian/actor) actually mattered much less on something as important as global currency.
if you think their committee hearings are bad, you should see their group outings…http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ogOxWwiKZaU
BadKitty: Lighten up, Francis. I know that you personally went out registering voters for Elwyn Tinklenberg until the wee hours of the Minnesota mornin’, then went home to heat up a steamin’ bowl of lutefisk. Obviously I meant “fuck yoooou” to the type of fucktard that would vote for crazy paranoid Bachmann, yeah? And I stand by my words.
I’m starting to like Bernanke and Geithner more and more, not least for their ability to convey, through sheer world-weary expressionlessness, their obligatorily tolerant dismissive contempt for grandstanders like Bachmann and Manzullo. Of course, that may just be the contrast effect.
Also, I would SO like to have Barney Frank running every meeting I’m obliged to attend.
Atheist Nun: I sent monies to Tinklenberg, just so I could see that name on my credit card statement.
Wouldn’t this hearing have been SO much better if Al Franken was on the same committee as Bachmann and it was shot like 24? Bachmann in one box, asking her jaw-dropping questions, Geithner in another, Frank in the third and then Franken in the final box? And we could see their expressions the entire time she was yapping?
Maybe less like 24 and more like the Brady Bunch.
Lolz Maxine Waters is a conspiracy brother, or sister I guess.
There’s been some talk that Minnesota may have to re-district from eight to seven. If this is true, it would give us the chance to zone six solidly Democratic seats, and carve out one that combines the craziest of the 6th with the richest/most-evil of the third. Naturally, representation for this last district could be established with a cage match between Bachman and Paulson. He’d have the moneys, but she might bring the Jeebus.
Bachmann’s real question was: can’t we just invade China for their suggestion of a global commie Yuan?
Please help me belive in humanity again…all of our representatives aren’t this stupid, are they? You just chose clips of the dubmest questions, right? Please, please don’t tell me these are the people that are going to make the big decisions that help “fix” everything.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ogOxWwiKZaU
hockeymom: Yes, yes, yes! I cannot wait for Al Franken to become a Senator. Motherfucking Senator Al Motherfucking Franken. His acid wit is needed to melt Bachmann’s face off, much like the Nazi at the end of Raiders of The Lost Ark.
Atheist Nun: You don’t know what it’s like here in MN now(sob)… every day, Crazy Eyes finds new ways to humiliate us …. we not used to this kind of attention…. Jesse Ventura was embarrassing but it wasn’t like this, man….
Then Coleman and Franken get into their pissing match….(sniff)… I don’t know how much we can take…
STOP PICKING ON US!! (runs from the room sobbing)
Josh Fruhlinger: Because her cock is much bigger than Barney Frank’s.
And she is on Financial Services because there hasn’t been a Toy Balloon Animals committee since 1966.
krinkle bearcat palin: I was expecting the Monty Python Twit Olympics skit.
BadKitty: There there, fear not. All y’all have is Crazy Eyes. We in Tennessee have crazy boxed up and gift wrapped.
BadKitty: Sorry about my weak MN geography skills. I’ve actually been to both towns, too, and eaten in that place in Little Falls where you cook your own steak and make your own salad. Surprised they don’t make you wash your own dishes.
The Founders Fathers limited bailouts to 40 acres of cotton sustaining land.
upsidedownpaddle: Founding^
I’m so glad Wonkette called out Waters. Michelle Bachmann can drink a tall glass of STFU because she has no clue what she is talking about, but Waters can have a tall glass and a to-go cup of STFU because she has no shame.
I want to amend my posts–I think that the people that voted for both Waters and Bachmann should have to move to an island and fend for themselves. Moses smell the roses.
BadKitty: Poor kitty!! I almost forgot about Jesse Ventura! Have some milk… with whiskey. Lots of whiskey.
jagorev: V572625694: Y’all are crazy. I hail from Bachmann’s district originally (*shudder*), and I have it on good intelligence that she shits out her mouth and eats through her cunt. And you know what that means.
Bachmann said Ka-ZACK-UH-stan. Wow.
This is totally how Caesar and, like, Hitler happen.
Of all the reasonable disagreements that ought be aired over how to safely crash land the global economy - none of which involve Chinese Mark of the Beast money or trying to summarize the demise of modern capitalism into a binary question - why do these assholes persist? Like, in a basic and cosmic sense. Do they sleep well at night? Why don’t they want to go away and die? Or is as simple as “The Scum Also Rises”?
HandsomePete: Maxine Waters gets all of her information from DailyKos commentors.
One Yield Regular: It’s all part of Obama’s patented rope a dope strategy– just when you think he’s doing something dumb, he pulls something out at the last minute to make you realize that his opponent is even dumber.
FamilyLost: Yeah, no… I watched some of this, and was only saved from suicide by the power of power drinking… this hearing in itself could unleash the tsunami of political depression… in other words, these folks is in need of a political bailout….
No, Geithner isn’t scowling. He’s trying to figure out which congresscritters are going to be pets and which are going to be meat.
Josh Fruhlinger:
Yes. Yes, Frank definitely did call her “The gentleman from Minnesota.”
At least Bachmann used ‘an historic’. Although. Um.
Yeah, Elwyn Tinklenberg would have not asked them about the AmeroYuan. Oh, for an Elwyn.
addendum: Oh. Maybe it’s a decorum thing, and everybody’s ‘gentleman’.
Hooray For Anything: It’s amazing to watch. Before they even realize what’s happening, these numbskulls are clawing and scratching at one another as they get craftily flushed down the oblivion hole.
DeLand DeLakes: She can be lured into a padded cell with a bag-o-dicks?
nmmagayar:
He’s only cute while he has his head down.
I just want to say that you are all the best commenters on any blog anywhere, and I’m proud to be a part of this group! Is it okay to say that?
Here’s the bio on Ms. Crazy’s better half… impressive creds:
Bachmann’s husband, Marcus Bachmann, operates a Christian counseling center in the St. Croix valley area. He has a master’s degree in counseling from Regent University in Virginia Beach, Virginia, and a doctorate in clinical psychology from a distance-learning school, Union Institute & University in Cincinnati.
Uncle Glenny: No, that’s her husband. Word has it that she got him fresh out of ex-gay camp.
Breck Girl I would totally hit, no question. She is teh crazee hawtness. You know living with that repressed, closeted gay-curing freakshow makes her all the more freaky in the sack. As NPH says in Harold & Kumar 2 — “I’m gonna get my fuck on!” Or, uh, I would if I were to meet Ms. Crazee at a smoky bar somewhere off the beaten track in DC.
Yes, Bachmann. YES. Bring the crazy. Bring the stupid. I seriously doubt that this woman has ever glanced at the content of the Constitution.
ZOMG!1!1 There’s someone more stupid than Frau Bachmann (wolves howling here) in the House. We’re definitely into rock territory.
I know I’m being contrarian here, but while Geithner and Bernanke are indeed likely smarter than the whole of congress combined, they are also slimy bankster weasels who I don’t believe for a second are working in the best interests of the American people. The least they deserve is to have to sit through public hearings with the wackiest members of congress yelling at them.
I think it’s all part of their diabolical plan. They have every politician in DC in their pocket except the craziest ones. Then they make it look like you must be crazy not to go along with them.