jesus christ

Michele Bachmann Calls For Armed Revolution!

Rep. Michele Bachmann has sump’m to say, she does! She wants everyone to get a gun and go kill the Democrats and establish a new government, because of some tax: “I want people in Minnesota armed and dangerous on this issue of the energy tax because we need to fight back. Thomas Jefferson told us ‘having a revolution every now and then is a good thing,’ and the people — we the people — are going to have to fight back hard if we’re not going to lose our country. And I think this has the potential of changing the dynamic of freedom forever in the United States.” How very inappropriate! [Huffington Post]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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75 comments

  1. problemwithcaring

    I want people “to slaughter the innocent and then be judged mental incompetent to stand trial” on this issue, because manic-depressive Abraham Lincoln would have expected that kind of commitment to the Republic. Also.

  2. ManchuCandidate

    Can’t you guys just vote to kick out the Bachmann Turner Diaries’ district (6th Minn) out of US ‘Merikuh? Let her be the Krazee Queen of Jeebusland till her REAL Amerikun constituents feast on her and her 400,000 kids when the supplies run out.

  3. chascates

    Michele and Company should take their guns to Afghanistan and bring freedom to those people. Christianity too.

  4. pedestrian rage

    If I may offer a suggestion for our batshit insane Congresswoman and her Lord of the Flies posse, could her most-certainly-straight husband – the one who buys all her pantsuits and runs a de-gaying program – be the first volunteer in her armed rebellion? Pretty please?

  5. Mr Blifil

    So when she’s in prison for sedition we’ll get to watch the prison guards diddle her with toys, right?

  6. BklynIlluminati

    My God Minny? Really??! This what you freakin’ elected? You guys really need a timeout something a remedial course in not voting in the first insane person that walks by. And Minny this isn’t your first dipshit rodeo. don’t think we have forgotten you elected a freakin cross dressing wrestler as your Gov. Or that coleman/franken horror show. Minny i am so disappointed in you, really look just go away come back when you find someone to lead your state that isn’t a looney tune or a devil worshiper or Stalin in training

  7. bago

    Well, the status of freedom can change quite quickly. Especially when moving a marginal tax rate by 3%

  8. Astrobastard

    [re=271406]BklynIlluminati[/re]: Blaming all of Minnesota for Michele Bachmann (who wouldn’t’ve sniffed so much as the state capitol’s doorstep if she ran in a Twin Cities district) is like blaming all of Brooklyn for those dudes who run around in white-framed Ray-Bans and kaffiyehs snorting coke.

  9. V572625694

    Is there some kind of sexual activity that would transform Ms Bachmann from a rural, snake-handling, Jeebus-lover to a crazed, stoner, sex-fiend?

    Discuss.

  10. you cannot be serious

    Would Tinkleberry have called for armed resistance?

    Someone needs to investigate the House for un-American activities.

  11. shortsshortsshorts

    “I think that every Minnesotan should get out there and start bombing public gatherings, just as Thomas Jefferson did.”

  12. zippy123

    This Michelle dame and that Sarah Palin gal are like the Thelma and Louise of the Republican party.

  13. Atheist Nun

    Why is it always these so-called “republicans” who screech for the blood, torture and dismemberment of anyone who even mildly disagrees with them on any topic whatsoever? (Look it up. I’m totally fucking serious.) Whatever happened to “negotiating” or even “discussing” things? No!! I guess we’re all supposed to go flay people alive because they like Snickers™ instead of Reese’s™ Peanut Butter Cups?

    I’m starting to think there really is some damaged, mutated hivemind beaming out flawed instructions to “republicans” through some kind of electronic mind-control bible… LIZARD PEOPLE.

  14. comradepaulson

    First, they tea-bagged and they discovered no one gave two shits. Now they are armed and dangerous… and still, I hear no one giving a shit.

    [re=271418]V572625694[/re]: Anal fisting, perhaps?

  15. nmmagayar

    [re=271426]comradepaulson[/re]: since I teabagged the BF this morning, I don’t have to pay my taxes this year, also

  16. moldilox

    omigod… does this shit from the right never stop and does it ever cross the line to criminal … probably not .. someone should be asking her if she knows how many trailers she owns…. gettin scary…

  17. Bruno

    Good idea Michelle! I suggest you go to some high school in an ‘exburb’ and make fun of some Goth kids.

  18. V572625694

    [re=271426]comradepaulson[/re]: Or maybe just a little oral. Since her hubby’s a gay-converter he’s almost certainly never even spent any time down there. And of course he’s the only man she’s ever “been with.”

  19. Hooray For Anything

    Living in San Francisco as I do, I see my fair share of lefty crazies– the MumiaHeads, the members of the International Workers Party handing out flyers, 70 year hippies in tie dies singing “Give Peace a Chance” for the millionth time in case it eventually works– but I have to say nobody does flying, batshit insane like right wing crazies.

  20. El Pinche

    Here’s to enabling Timothy McVeighs everywhere. Cheers!

    Bachmann is the sperm burping road whore of Congress.

  21. Lazy Media

    For a pig furry gang-bang film featuring a woman as hot as Michele Bachman, this video was surprisingly not that sexy.

  22. Numbat Dundee

    She just wants to fertilise the tree of liberty with her blood. Would that not be a good thing?

  23. Marlowe

    I’d like to see Riggo knock her and her pig friends back on their bony asses.
    Hey, Michelle, baby
    Loosen up!

  24. Custerwolf

    [re=271459]LittlePig[/re]: I feel guilty – I told Wilbur I’d NEVER show that photo to anyone. (He’s since lost most of that belly roll)

  25. KittyLitter

    Pvt. Litter reporting for duty, MA’AM!

    I have my rifle cleaned and I’m well stocked with ammunition, and all I need now is my marching orders, MA’AM!

    Who should I kill first, MA’AM?

    My neighbor is in the reserves, and when we begin our revolution he’ll be called up to fight us in violation of posse comitatus, so should I blow his brains out MA’AM?

    My police department is receiving stimulus bribes from Hussein so they’ll back him, so should I drive a car packed with explosives into the police station, MA’AM?

    I’m eager, hungry even, to kill for you, MA’AM.

    Just clarify your orders and the slaughter will begin!

    God Bless Michele Bachmann!

  26. El Pinche

    Relax bin Laden. Our own Minnesota Mullah is calling Jihad on our own people. She’s got it covered.

  27. TheGlow

    Bachmann is rapidly moving to the top of my hate bang list. As opposed to Palin, who shall forever dominate my pity bang list.

  28. johnnypantalones

    So, seriously guys, anyone report this to the Secret Service yet? I know it’s not a real viable threat, but it would be funny to read about Bachmann getting a visit from the Secret Service.

  29. proudgrampa

    [re=271451]El Pinche[/re]: “Sperm Burping?” My God, that’s gross. I think it’s funny, but gross!

  30. Mad Farmer Manifest

    [re=271446]V572625694[/re]: That explains everything. Hot woman is crazy=hot woman really, really needs an orgasm. Of course, she also needs deprogramming.

  31. Scandalabra

    I’m beginning to think that maybe there should be some investigation into certain un-American views held by members of congress.

  32. Monsieur Grumpe

    Jeeeeeez Bachmann. If you could shut up for awhile people might forget how stupid you are. Maybe.

  33. Trace

    Man, she’s gonna be really embarassed if the Rapture doesn’t happen soon and she’s left to deal with the consequences of going batshit crazy in the most public way possible.

  34. irativ

    Oh I went to her page (I kind of want to crash the event, to see what crazies wind up there) and there is a picture of her with the blacks on the homepage. They might be Muslin for all she knows.

    Bachmann-Palin ’12 a.k.a. “indecision 2012—will Palin carry Alaska?”

  35. ForTheTurnstiles

    Revolution? They can line M Bachman up against a wall for all I care. Aureliano wasn’t afraid of the firing squad. The Jesus freaks should be jumping for an opportunity to go shake hands with Jesus. &c.

    I fucking hate A Prairie Home Companion. The entire town of Lake Wobegon, against the wall please…

  36. psilage

    I want all of the pig-people to arm themselves and threaten everyone who doesn’t realize that this is how people are SUPPOSED to look. Then, when our their numbers become great enough we can instigate phase 2: a black-and-white world. Then maybe later, the sneer. Not wanting to gild the lily, of course … going to far is all in the eye of the beholder, I suppose …

  37. DangerousLiberal

    [re=271429]Holding Out for a Hero[/re]: Really–why can’t we get one of those sexy CIA aeroplanes to pick her up and take her to Syria or wherever and they can waterboard her and beat her with socks filled with shot or whatever.

    Or, if we really wanted to torture her, just send her out of the country on a one-way, coach ticket on a Northworst/Delta flight out of MSP. Of course, that would violate the Geneva Conventions and all notions of human dignity.

  38. assistant/atlas

    [re=271423]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I know! Thomas Jefferson is the reason that I’m a librul terrorist muslin!

  39. SpikeyDog

    Those folks behind her are not wearing false noses. That’s their real faces. They squeal like little pigies when they seez their momma Bachman.

  40. Canuckledragger

    Thomas Jefferson told us ‘having a revolution every now and then is a good thing,’

    You just did. You lost. Deal with it.

    [re=271418]V572625694[/re]: She sure do got a purty mouth. Squeal like a pig.

  41. Lazy Media

    [re=271516]johnnypantalones[/re]: Uh, she didn’t actually call for people to be literally armed. She was referring to the “materials” they’re gonna pass out at some moron rally to arm and dangerize We the People. As in “intellectually” armed and dangerous because they’ll know the Truth and can call Bullshit on Hussein’s socialism. This, of course, triggered the crazier wingnut associations in her “brain,” and she started riffing on Jefferson and blood-soaked Liberty Trees, but I’m pretty sure it was all a metaphor. Just fun and games.

  42. zhubajie

    [re=271406]BklynIlluminati[/re]: Jesse Ventura is actually a half-way sensible person, which is why hhe’s given up politics for surfing in Mexico!

    Zhu Bajie

  43. gurukalehuru

    [re=271406]BklynIlluminati[/re]: Al Franken is going to be one of the greatest U.S. Senators ever. and Minnesota is the home of Paul Wellstone. and the birthplace of Bob Dylan, but maybe that’s a bad example, on account of he didn’t like it there much.

  44. gurukalehuru

    [re=271675]Lazy Media[/re]: Yeah, of course not, and if i’d heard the same rhetoric from any source outside of wingnutistan, i’d have taken it with a grain of salt.
    However, we know Michelle is a war-monger, a gun lover and a member in good standing of the reptilian party so it is reasonable to assume, when she says something completely over the line like this, that she means it literally and without irony.

  45. Mista Eko

    So…..Michelle Bachman is a Redskins fan?

    And the TJ quote is “The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.” Armed insurrections I can take, but dull misquoting is a no-no.

  46. skyinator

    [re=271427]S.Luggo[/re]: Win! My favorite. Also. But, where’s her butt-faced pig nose in that photo? Oh, that’s right, she’s waiting to be operated on to look normal.

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