JESUS CHRIST  5:29 pm March 23, 2009

Michele Bachmann Calls For Armed Revolution!

by Jim Newell

Rep. Michele Bachmann has sump’m to say, she does! She wants everyone to get a gun and go kill the Democrats and establish a new government, because of some tax: “I want people in Minnesota armed and dangerous on this issue of the energy tax because we need to fight back. Thomas Jefferson told us ‘having a revolution every now and then is a good thing,’ and the people — we the people — are going to have to fight back hard if we’re not going to lose our country. And I think this has the potential of changing the dynamic of freedom forever in the United States.” How very inappropriate! [Huffington Post]

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problemwithcaring March 23, 2009 at 5:36 pm

I want people “to slaughter the innocent and then be judged mental incompetent to stand trial” on this issue, because manic-depressive Abraham Lincoln would have expected that kind of commitment to the Republic. Also.

ManchuCandidate March 23, 2009 at 5:36 pm

Can’t you guys just vote to kick out the Bachmann Turner Diaries’ district (6th Minn) out of US ‘Merikuh? Let her be the Krazee Queen of Jeebusland till her REAL Amerikun constituents feast on her and her 400,000 kids when the supplies run out.

lovekills March 23, 2009 at 5:36 pm

Holy inappropriateness! Indeed.

pat robertsons personal trainer March 23, 2009 at 5:37 pm

bachmann/hemmings ’12!! PUMAs UNITE!

Fox n Fiends March 23, 2009 at 5:37 pm

she puts the Khan in Khannngriss.

chascates March 23, 2009 at 5:42 pm

Michele and Company should take their guns to Afghanistan and bring freedom to those people. Christianity too.

pedestrian rage March 23, 2009 at 5:44 pm

If I may offer a suggestion for our batshit insane Congresswoman and her Lord of the Flies posse, could her most-certainly-straight husband – the one who buys all her pantsuits and runs a de-gaying program – be the first volunteer in her armed rebellion? Pretty please?

Mr Blifil March 23, 2009 at 5:47 pm

So when she’s in prison for sedition we’ll get to watch the prison guards diddle her with toys, right?

Decker March 23, 2009 at 5:49 pm

They “dynamic of freedom”? WTF does that even mean, also?

BklynIlluminati March 23, 2009 at 5:53 pm

My God Minny? Really??! This what you freakin’ elected? You guys really need a timeout something a remedial course in not voting in the first insane person that walks by. And Minny this isn’t your first dipshit rodeo. don’t think we have forgotten you elected a freakin cross dressing wrestler as your Gov. Or that coleman/franken horror show. Minny i am so disappointed in you, really look just go away come back when you find someone to lead your state that isn’t a looney tune or a devil worshiper or Stalin in training

stumpycuse March 23, 2009 at 5:54 pm

another revolution? Did we just have one in November?

bago March 23, 2009 at 5:55 pm

Well, the status of freedom can change quite quickly. Especially when moving a marginal tax rate by 3%

Accordion-o-rama March 23, 2009 at 5:55 pm

[re=271400]Mr Blifil[/re]: It’ll be on FOX.

nmmagayar March 23, 2009 at 5:56 pm

can someone please bitchslap this twunt??????????????????

shanemacgowan March 23, 2009 at 5:56 pm

Rep. Michelle Bachmann (R-Snake Pit) is the reincarnation of Sen. Preston Brooks.

Custerwolf March 23, 2009 at 5:57 pm

Since they were short a gag pignose for Michelle in the group shot, her picture was taken a bit later outside on the lawn. She sure seems like a cheerful lunatic.

(sorry Wilbur)

Astrobastard March 23, 2009 at 6:02 pm

[re=271406]BklynIlluminati[/re]: Blaming all of Minnesota for Michele Bachmann (who wouldn’t’ve sniffed so much as the state capitol’s doorstep if she ran in a Twin Cities district) is like blaming all of Brooklyn for those dudes who run around in white-framed Ray-Bans and kaffiyehs snorting coke.

V572625694 March 23, 2009 at 6:02 pm

Is there some kind of sexual activity that would transform Ms Bachmann from a rural, snake-handling, Jeebus-lover to a crazed, stoner, sex-fiend?


you cannot be serious March 23, 2009 at 6:02 pm

Would Tinkleberry have called for armed resistance?

Someone needs to investigate the House for un-American activities.

shortsshortsshorts March 23, 2009 at 6:06 pm

“I think that every Minnesotan should get out there and start bombing public gatherings, just as Thomas Jefferson did.”

zippy123 March 23, 2009 at 6:06 pm

This Michelle dame and that Sarah Palin gal are like the Thelma and Louise of the Republican party.

Atheist Nun March 23, 2009 at 6:06 pm

Why is it always these so-called “republicans” who screech for the blood, torture and dismemberment of anyone who even mildly disagrees with them on any topic whatsoever? (Look it up. I’m totally fucking serious.) Whatever happened to “negotiating” or even “discussing” things? No!! I guess we’re all supposed to go flay people alive because they like Snickers™ instead of Reese’s™ Peanut Butter Cups?

I’m starting to think there really is some damaged, mutated hivemind beaming out flawed instructions to “republicans” through some kind of electronic mind-control bible… LIZARD PEOPLE.

comradepaulson March 23, 2009 at 6:06 pm

First, they tea-bagged and they discovered no one gave two shits. Now they are armed and dangerous… and still, I hear no one giving a shit.

[re=271418]V572625694[/re]: Anal fisting, perhaps?

S.Luggo March 23, 2009 at 6:08 pm

That’s my favorite episode of the Twilight Zone.

Holding Out for a Hero March 23, 2009 at 6:09 pm

Hey Michelle – “Extraordinary rendition you!”

nmmagayar March 23, 2009 at 6:11 pm

[re=271426]comradepaulson[/re]: since I teabagged the BF this morning, I don’t have to pay my taxes this year, also

moldilox March 23, 2009 at 6:14 pm

omigod… does this shit from the right never stop and does it ever cross the line to criminal … probably not .. someone should be asking her if she knows how many trailers she owns…. gettin scary…

j6n March 23, 2009 at 6:15 pm

[re=271402]Decker[/re]: It is similar to the paradigm of liberty

Origami March 23, 2009 at 6:16 pm

Pig noses??? That’s RACIST!

Origami March 23, 2009 at 6:17 pm

Also: how the hell does this women continue to hold public office?

Bruno March 23, 2009 at 6:17 pm

Good idea Michelle! I suggest you go to some high school in an ‘exburb’ and make fun of some Goth kids.

V572625694 March 23, 2009 at 6:17 pm

[re=271426]comradepaulson[/re]: Or maybe just a little oral. Since her hubby’s a gay-converter he’s almost certainly never even spent any time down there. And of course he’s the only man she’s ever “been with.”

Hooray For Anything March 23, 2009 at 6:19 pm

Living in San Francisco as I do, I see my fair share of lefty crazies– the MumiaHeads, the members of the International Workers Party handing out flyers, 70 year hippies in tie dies singing “Give Peace a Chance” for the millionth time in case it eventually works– but I have to say nobody does flying, batshit insane like right wing crazies.

El Pinche March 23, 2009 at 6:20 pm

Here’s to enabling Timothy McVeighs everywhere. Cheers!

Bachmann is the sperm burping road whore of Congress.

Lazy Media March 23, 2009 at 6:22 pm

For a pig furry gang-bang film featuring a woman as hot as Michele Bachman, this video was surprisingly not that sexy.

Lionel Hutz Esq. March 23, 2009 at 6:24 pm

She is just carrying water for the Crips.

LittlePig March 23, 2009 at 6:26 pm

[re=271413]Custerwolf[/re]: Hey now! Live my kinfolk outta this!

Numbat Dundee March 23, 2009 at 6:27 pm

She just wants to fertilise the tree of liberty with her blood. Would that not be a good thing?

Marlowe March 23, 2009 at 6:28 pm

I’d like to see Riggo knock her and her pig friends back on their bony asses.
Hey, Michelle, baby
Loosen up!

Custerwolf March 23, 2009 at 6:32 pm

[re=271459]LittlePig[/re]: I feel guilty – I told Wilbur I’d NEVER show that photo to anyone. (He’s since lost most of that belly roll)

CARCUNTZ!(tm)-R-Us March 23, 2009 at 6:34 pm

[re=271426]comradepaulson[/re]: I just did two minutes ago.

user-of-owls March 23, 2009 at 6:35 pm

[re=271412]shanemacgowan[/re]: Actually, her power of logic seems more akin to Foster Brooks

Tommmcatt March 23, 2009 at 6:44 pm

How can we be sure she’s not a Lizard Person?

KittyLitter March 23, 2009 at 6:44 pm

Pvt. Litter reporting for duty, MA’AM!

I have my rifle cleaned and I’m well stocked with ammunition, and all I need now is my marching orders, MA’AM!

Who should I kill first, MA’AM?

My neighbor is in the reserves, and when we begin our revolution he’ll be called up to fight us in violation of posse comitatus, so should I blow his brains out MA’AM?

My police department is receiving stimulus bribes from Hussein so they’ll back him, so should I drive a car packed with explosives into the police station, MA’AM?

I’m eager, hungry even, to kill for you, MA’AM.

Just clarify your orders and the slaughter will begin!

God Bless Michele Bachmann!

Custerwolf March 23, 2009 at 6:48 pm

Here’s a little soothing balm to wash away the trauma inflicted by the Hagstress Bachmann:

You’re welcome.

El Pinche March 23, 2009 at 6:51 pm

Relax bin Laden. Our own Minnesota Mullah is calling Jihad on our own people. She’s got it covered.

TheGlow March 23, 2009 at 6:57 pm

Bachmann is rapidly moving to the top of my hate bang list. As opposed to Palin, who shall forever dominate my pity bang list.

johnnypantalones March 23, 2009 at 7:07 pm

So, seriously guys, anyone report this to the Secret Service yet? I know it’s not a real viable threat, but it would be funny to read about Bachmann getting a visit from the Secret Service.

proudgrampa March 23, 2009 at 7:12 pm

[re=271451]El Pinche[/re]: “Sperm Burping?” My God, that’s gross. I think it’s funny, but gross!

Mad Farmer Manifest March 23, 2009 at 7:20 pm

[re=271446]V572625694[/re]: That explains everything. Hot woman is crazy=hot woman really, really needs an orgasm. Of course, she also needs deprogramming.

Scandalabra March 23, 2009 at 7:20 pm

I’m beginning to think that maybe there should be some investigation into certain un-American views held by members of congress.

Monsieur Grumpe March 23, 2009 at 7:27 pm

Jeeeeeez Bachmann. If you could shut up for awhile people might forget how stupid you are. Maybe.

Min March 23, 2009 at 7:29 pm

She is the woman for whom the term “crazycakes” was surely invented.

Trace March 23, 2009 at 7:37 pm

Man, she’s gonna be really embarassed if the Rapture doesn’t happen soon and she’s left to deal with the consequences of going batshit crazy in the most public way possible.

irativ March 23, 2009 at 7:45 pm

Oh I went to her page (I kind of want to crash the event, to see what crazies wind up there) and there is a picture of her with the blacks on the homepage. They might be Muslin for all she knows.

Bachmann-Palin ’12 a.k.a. “indecision 2012—will Palin carry Alaska?”

CampbellBrown'sBaby March 23, 2009 at 8:53 pm

That doesn’t sound like the nice folks I hear on Prairie Home Companion.

ForTheTurnstiles March 23, 2009 at 8:55 pm

Revolution? They can line M Bachman up against a wall for all I care. Aureliano wasn’t afraid of the firing squad. The Jesus freaks should be jumping for an opportunity to go shake hands with Jesus. &c.

I fucking hate A Prairie Home Companion. The entire town of Lake Wobegon, against the wall please…

psilage March 23, 2009 at 9:49 pm

I want all of the pig-people to arm themselves and threaten everyone who doesn’t realize that this is how people are SUPPOSED to look. Then, when our their numbers become great enough we can instigate phase 2: a black-and-white world. Then maybe later, the sneer. Not wanting to gild the lily, of course … going to far is all in the eye of the beholder, I suppose …

DangerousLiberal March 23, 2009 at 10:29 pm

[re=271429]Holding Out for a Hero[/re]: Really–why can’t we get one of those sexy CIA aeroplanes to pick her up and take her to Syria or wherever and they can waterboard her and beat her with socks filled with shot or whatever.

Or, if we really wanted to torture her, just send her out of the country on a one-way, coach ticket on a Northworst/Delta flight out of MSP. Of course, that would violate the Geneva Conventions and all notions of human dignity.

assistant/atlas March 23, 2009 at 11:02 pm

[re=271423]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I know! Thomas Jefferson is the reason that I’m a librul terrorist muslin!

SpikeyDog March 24, 2009 at 12:47 am

Those folks behind her are not wearing false noses. That’s their real faces. They squeal like little pigies when they seez their momma Bachman.

Canuckledragger March 24, 2009 at 3:59 am

Thomas Jefferson told us ‘having a revolution every now and then is a good thing,’

You just did. You lost. Deal with it.

[re=271418]V572625694[/re]: She sure do got a purty mouth. Squeal like a pig.

abirato March 24, 2009 at 4:26 am

[re=271611]psilage[/re]: Would it look like this?

Lazy Media March 24, 2009 at 8:12 am

[re=271516]johnnypantalones[/re]: Uh, she didn’t actually call for people to be literally armed. She was referring to the “materials” they’re gonna pass out at some moron rally to arm and dangerize We the People. As in “intellectually” armed and dangerous because they’ll know the Truth and can call Bullshit on Hussein’s socialism. This, of course, triggered the crazier wingnut associations in her “brain,” and she started riffing on Jefferson and blood-soaked Liberty Trees, but I’m pretty sure it was all a metaphor. Just fun and games.

zhubajie March 24, 2009 at 8:56 am

[re=271406]BklynIlluminati[/re]: Jesse Ventura is actually a half-way sensible person, which is why hhe’s given up politics for surfing in Mexico!

Zhu Bajie

zhubajie March 24, 2009 at 9:17 am

[re=271541]Trace[/re]: She’d be even more embarrassed to be left behind.

Zhu Bajie

gurukalehuru March 24, 2009 at 9:47 am

[re=271406]BklynIlluminati[/re]: Al Franken is going to be one of the greatest U.S. Senators ever. and Minnesota is the home of Paul Wellstone. and the birthplace of Bob Dylan, but maybe that’s a bad example, on account of he didn’t like it there much.

gurukalehuru March 24, 2009 at 10:04 am

[re=271675]Lazy Media[/re]: Yeah, of course not, and if i’d heard the same rhetoric from any source outside of wingnutistan, i’d have taken it with a grain of salt.
However, we know Michelle is a war-monger, a gun lover and a member in good standing of the reptilian party so it is reasonable to assume, when she says something completely over the line like this, that she means it literally and without irony.

Mista Eko March 24, 2009 at 10:07 am

So…..Michelle Bachman is a Redskins fan?

And the TJ quote is “The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.” Armed insurrections I can take, but dull misquoting is a no-no.

S.Luggo March 24, 2009 at 10:12 am

Hormel. Yum.

skyinator March 24, 2009 at 10:47 am

[re=271427]S.Luggo[/re]: Win! My favorite. Also. But, where’s her butt-faced pig nose in that photo? Oh, that’s right, she’s waiting to be operated on to look normal.

Capricatony March 24, 2009 at 11:18 am

We need to watch our backs. These people come armed and stupid.

S.Luggo March 24, 2009 at 12:35 pm

[re=271734]skyinator[/re]: ?

BTW: Those are Michele’s kids from her “in vitro”. The rascals eat like, well, you know …

gregladen March 24, 2009 at 3:54 pm

We are bringing back the carnival:

The Replace Michele Bachman Web Carnival is Back

wolfshirts June 25, 2009 at 2:48 pm

Something tells me Favre has something to do with this…

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