• May 27, 2012

Gridiron Dinner Features Usual Masturbatory Hijinks, Minus The President

by Sara K. Smith  9:42 am March 23, 2009

Grover Cleveland hated this event, too.Barack Obama missed out on the much-ballyhooed Gridiron Dinner this weekend, an event in which journalists and politicians sit around very expensive tables with long white linen tablecloths and quietly give each other handjobs. Instead the president stayed at Camp David with his family, blah. Fortunately, Joe Biden attended the dinner and brought home the larfs.

He made a joke about Obama staying home and preparing for Easter, because “he thinks it’s about him.” This is terribly offensive because we all know there is no Muslim Easter.

Biden also cracked wise about how Tim Geithner will just randomly give money to whatever hobo (Citigroup, AIG) asks for it, which HAHAHA, yes, he just piles up the taxpayer dollars in a big heap and then he rolls around on them and lights them on fire, for fun! Joe Biden is completely distasteful.

In Obama’s absence, Biden delights in bashing boss [AP]

{ 50 comments }

BillyClubb March 23, 2009 at 9:47 am

With Biden around it’s only a matter of time before Barry learns to “govern out of anger”.

norbizness March 23, 2009 at 9:47 am

That dinner sounds, actually, like a whole lot less fun that Sugar Shane Moseley speedbagging my scrotal area for thirty minutes. HEY! IT’S A LEGITIMATE BOXING TERM!

shanemacgowan March 23, 2009 at 9:49 am

Tim Geithner makin’ it rain. It worked for Pacman Jones.

Serolf Divad March 23, 2009 at 9:53 am

Last week the punditocracy was all over Barry’s ass for yucking it up with Leno while Rome burns. This week they’ll be all up his ass for not showing up at the Gridiron dinner and yucking it up with reporters.

TGY March 23, 2009 at 9:53 am

The president couldn’t be there because he had some ‘hot eggs to lay’, but he sent his number two banana as comedy relief. I wouldn’t be surprised if Joe Biden hadn’t come equipped with a list of approved jokes.

Advocatus_Diaboli March 23, 2009 at 9:55 am

Third time’s a charm, Timmeh!

bfstevie@yahoo.com March 23, 2009 at 9:57 am

Apparently Joe the Plumber was not available. Also.

Orangeen March 23, 2009 at 10:02 am

I read something about Andrea Mitchell dressed in a bear suit, in a skit about Alan Greenspan. Could someone please investigate whether that really happened, because I fear my life will never be the same after that mental image. Also, the media talking point today was that Obama was “giggling” during the Kroft interview last night. OK, so wtf is it….I thought the media said that Obama was the somber Debbie Downer, now they are calling him a silly little gigglebox. They have no shame.

Come here a minute March 23, 2009 at 10:08 am

I heard no ballyhoo surrounding this event. Could this be the end of ballyhoo? Can hullabaloo be far behind?

Vartan84 March 23, 2009 at 10:08 am

Thank you for reminding me on my massive crushes on Joe Biden and Grover Cleveland. Can’t get enough.

Vartan84 March 23, 2009 at 10:12 am

[re=270832]Vartan84[/re]: Sarah can you please use your magical powers and fix my typo from “on my massive crushes” to “of my massive crushes”? It’ll make my massive crush on you and your Cleveland-referencing ways grow that much stronger. Is this creepy for me to say?

Doglessliberal March 23, 2009 at 10:12 am

The WaPo story noted that Adrien Fenty was there, but was exhausted looking and bleary eyed. I would think so, given that he ran the National Marathon that morning in 3:25. It must suck to have to make these appearances and be nice to people you dislike when you just want to be home on the sofa with a beer.

bitchincamaro March 23, 2009 at 10:12 am

Could Hopey have read Denby’s book and decided that teh snark is unpresidential?

Mr. Tusks March 23, 2009 at 10:25 am

Joe Biden went to my esteemed law school, Syracuse University College of Law. Straight C’s, apparently. See, you don’t need to be some Harvard Law mythical superhero to be important someday!

Canuckledragger March 23, 2009 at 10:25 am

Hopey: Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. And keep Biden on a short leash with a big muzzle.

BTW: Hopey mighta slain a couple of giants – and overcome centuries of racism – to get elected to his current gig; he mighta single-handedly resurrected the USofA’s international prestige; and he mighta breathed life into back-to-back two week stock gains for the first time in a year – - – but, according to this wholly superior political mind, he should nevertheless STFU. You’da thought Hopey’d at least get props for passing on the Gridiron, but NOOOOOOO!!!111!1!!

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/2009/03/22/2009-03-22_hey_president_obama_the_campaign_is_over.html

Godot March 23, 2009 at 10:28 am

I am appalled at the distinct lack of football as this so-called “Gridiron Dinner”. A name like that, I expect to see John Elway, Mike Ditka, and/or Bill Parcells there.

WadISay March 23, 2009 at 10:30 am

[re=270841]Canuckledragger[/re]: He went to Camp David to spend more time with his TELEPROMPTER.

Mr. Tusks March 23, 2009 at 10:32 am

Hah, I love how the wignuts’ best weapon is that he uses a teleprompter, which has been used by EVERY president since they were invented. Especially since Dubya is the president who needed one the most.

Doglessliberal March 23, 2009 at 10:35 am

[re=270846]Mr. Tusks[/re]: and he still sounded like a moron, even using a script.

Doglessliberal March 23, 2009 at 10:36 am

[re=270846]Mr. Tusks[/re]: oh, and also, how many of these moran wingnuts could either speak extemporaneously on any topic Hopey has to speak on (let alone have the grasp of facts he does) OR memorize an hour-long speech themselves? I think zero is the answer.

norbizness March 23, 2009 at 10:36 am

[re=270843]Godot[/re]: Ditka 133, TARP Fund -2

thefrontpage March 23, 2009 at 10:39 am

There’s about 5 million people in the D.C. metroplitan area, and this dumb thing affects about 100 rich bubble people. So the real response to this thing is: Who cares?! Most people don’t care about this dinner–and rightfully so!

user-of-owls March 23, 2009 at 10:46 am

[re=270831]Come here a minute[/re]: Keep an eye out for a remake of Cat Ballou.

hobospacejungle March 23, 2009 at 10:46 am

[re=270831]Come here a minute[/re]: Could this be the end of ballyhoo? Can hullabaloo be far behind?

I fear for fooferaw.

Mr. Tusks March 23, 2009 at 10:48 am

[re=270848]Doglessliberal[/re]: The only problem with Barry is that when he goes off script, he makes retard jokes because he’s actually a funny guy. Not that it’s wise for the president to be doing that, but it makes me like him more anyway because I’m a jerk?

shortsshortsshorts March 23, 2009 at 10:49 am

BUT…. BUT…. Did he use a teleprompter? Did they exhume William Hearst? Was Allah present? The truth is in the DETAILS.

Doglessliberal March 23, 2009 at 10:53 am

[re=270854]Mr. Tusks[/re]: I guess I am a jerk, too, because I love that he is human.

Bruno March 23, 2009 at 10:57 am

[re=270846]Mr. Tusks[/re]: If Dubya used a teleprompter wouldn’t that have blocked the Shoe Thrower’s attacks? Or is Dubya comfortable enough with his position on Iraq he could feel free to speak unscripted?

user-of-owls March 23, 2009 at 10:58 am

[re=270853]hobospacejungle[/re]: I’m anxious about argle bargle.

hobospacejungle March 23, 2009 at 10:58 am

President Obama makes retard joke on national TV. Stock prices rise for first time in ever.

Coincidence?

Phase One: President makes retard jokes
Phase Two: ???
Phase Three: Profits!!

the cold war makes me hot March 23, 2009 at 10:59 am

[re=270831]Come here a minute[/re]: Possibly, but we should really fear the end of shenanigans and hootenannys.

shortsshortsshorts March 23, 2009 at 11:01 am

[re=270859]Bruno[/re]: If somebody was actually writing what he was saying, than said writer should have have acted as the first line of defense against thrown shoes.

Mr. Tusks March 23, 2009 at 11:02 am

[re=270859]Bruno[/re]: See? The prompter would have protected him in multiple ways.

Mr Blifil March 23, 2009 at 11:03 am

WAKE UP SHEEPEE THE MESSIAH WILL NOT LEAP OUT OF THE EGG TO BRING YOU MARONS CANDY WHILE HE USES THE TELEPMROMPTRZ AT 60 MINNITS TO SPOUT HIS RACIALLY INSENSITIVE NEGROID STREET RAP AND I WANT TO KNOW WHO BIDEN STOLE HIS JOKES FROM MAYBE DREDGE THE POTOMAC TO FIND OUT

gjdodger March 23, 2009 at 11:05 am

[re=270854]Mr. Tusks[/re]: If he was a really funny guy, he’d make dick jokes. Biden did get off this million-megaton zinger: “Biden told the fancy-dress audience of 600 guests at the Renaissance Washington hotel that newspapers still have a vital role to play: ‘You can’t house break a puppy on the Internet’.” They’re laughing their asses off in
Ann Arbor
.

V572625694 March 23, 2009 at 11:05 am

[re=270820]Serolf Divad[/re]: Well yes, of course the punditocracy is mad at Hopey for dissing their circle jerk, since the punditocracy consists of reporters, former reporters, and David Brooks.

Mr. Tusks March 23, 2009 at 11:05 am

While I recognize the satire here, I have also noticed the correlation between wingnuts and issues with capitalization and punctuation.

Mr Blifil March 23, 2009 at 11:05 am

[re=270835]Doglessliberal[/re]: This is the kind of behavior that killed Tim Russert except minus the marathon running and add on extra sofa/beer artherosclerosis credits.

Mr Blifil March 23, 2009 at 11:13 am

[re=270855]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: You can’t handle the truth of the way Biden mercilessly beats baby puppies with heavy rolls of newsprint until they yowl in agony and promise total fidelity and lifelong obeisance. JUST LIKE BIDEN’S PLANS FOR AMERIKKKA

Mr. Tusks March 23, 2009 at 11:16 am

[re=270880]Mr Blifil[/re]: I think he meant you can’t pee on the internet OR CAN YOU.

Godot March 23, 2009 at 11:29 am

[re=270853]hobospacejungle[/re]: At least it’s not a kerfuffle.

El Pinche March 23, 2009 at 11:36 am

Mocha Wizard of Uhhhh would rather spend time with his family when he should be FIXING THE ECCONOMY AND KEEPIN US SAFE INSTEAD OF USING HIS WIFE AND CHILDDREN AS HUMAN SHEILDS!!!1!!!!

Mr Blifil March 23, 2009 at 11:39 am

[re=270882]Mr. Tusks[/re]: You can as long as you make sure not to be plugged into the wall when nature calls. Oh and it helps if your intertoobs portal is a Dell, because even though it’s likely you will experience performance issues from all the uric acid, you won’t really even notice.

President Beeblebrox March 23, 2009 at 12:10 pm

[re=270846]Mr. Tusks[/re]: You’re doin it rong. It’s speld TELEPROMTER, as in MUSLIN TELEPROMTER SATAN!!!1

Come here a minute March 23, 2009 at 12:12 pm

[re=270853]hobospacejungle[/re]: They can have my folderol when they take it from my cold, dead hands.

Capricatony March 23, 2009 at 12:22 pm

Obama isn’t black enough to be Jesus.

Mr Blifil March 23, 2009 at 12:23 pm

Q: How many Obama supporters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A; However many will comprise a small community organization, in order to form a pool of volunteers from which to one person my be drawn in order that the bulb can be installed, and 1 muslin interloper with phony citizenship credentials to read the directions from teh TELEPROMPTR.

AxmxZ March 23, 2009 at 1:03 pm

[re=270830]Orangeen[/re]: Giggling is his defense mechanism. It disarms the opponent instantly. The secret is a pheromone release spike.

Mr. Tusks March 23, 2009 at 1:09 pm

[re=270892]Mr Blifil[/re]: As a Dell owner, I understand completely. As soon as it came out of the box, it blinked error messages and, of course, Microsoft decided they were all my fault.

CampbellBrown' March 23, 2009 at 1:45 pm

As the head of the Grover Cleveland Foundation for Crippled Kids, I Biden’s jokes very offensive.

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