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MUST BE THE DOPE FUMES

Hippie Floating Outside White House


Spring is almost here! How do we know? These goddamn hippies doing “magic” outside the White House. Stalin wouldn’t allow this if he was still president. [Daily Motion]


2:10 PM on Sun March 22 2009
By Ken Layne
4489 Views

  1. chascates says at 2:19 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    If he’s a graduate of the Academy of Magical Sciences send him over to the Treasury department!

  2. I don’t actually think he’s floating. I think he’s been impaled.

  3. shortsshortsshorts says at 2:34 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    YA WHATEVER. HE’S PROBABLY JUST USING A TELEPROMPTER1!

  4. Bearbloke says at 2:39 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    Meet President Obama’s new Secretary of Transcendental Enlightenment…

  5. Hah, magic via Photoshop. Ob-Wan Kenobi, he ain’t.

    Though perhaps he’s been eating some of that organic stuff. Gives ya gas to liftoff.

  6. fuckinredneck says at 2:48 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    And you still need proof that we should legalize it? What’s it going to take, people?!

  7. Special Agent Jack Mehoff says at 2:48 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    That’s the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. Well except for this.

  8. wheelie says at 2:50 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    Typical hippie, can’t stand on his own two feet.

  9. sanantonerose says at 2:52 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    When he succeeds in levitating the Pentagon, let me know.

  10. Custerwolf says at 2:56 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    Special Agent Jack Mehoff: Mike Silpa can disappear his deck inside me ANY time.

  11. Custerwolf says at 2:57 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    What are the magical pylons for?

  12. chascates says at 3:03 pm, March 22nd, 2009
  13. DemmeFatale says at 3:05 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    Yeesh! He’s a young guy, but so not buff. Also, he looks like he smells.

  14. DoctorCulturae says at 3:07 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    This isn’t magic. Anyone can see he’s sitting on my 401k.

  15. I’ve been hitting the ‘organic’ pretty hard and I think I can do that too. I don’t think I will because if I had to go to the bathroom it would create quite a mess. And I’m not some kind of Vitter.

  16. With Barry in the White House, miracles are commonplace within a 500 yard radius.

    So, these wingnuts who complain that he’s partying too hard on the Gubbernment Dime need to realize he can turn water into wine. Jeebus did it after all, and that’s who they liken him to.

  17. fuckinredneck: Say no more, that is without a doubt a majic bamboo bong he’s grasping

  18. Custerwolf says at 3:15 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    “…harnessing the forces of gravity.”
    There’s more than one?

  19. wheelie: Damn hippie, doesn’t think he has to pull himself up by his bootstraps.

  20. nicholasname says at 3:17 pm, March 22nd, 2009
  21. ExtraLegal says at 3:31 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    He’s obviously sitting on something attached to that stick. The real magician is whomever made the chair.

  22. nicholasname says at 3:39 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    ExtraLegal: you should check out the youtube link above your post.

  23. Does he have a miniature Devil’s Tower in his livingroom, stare at formations in his shaving cream, or sculpt with mashed potatoes?
    Custerwolf:
    Safety. In case he McFarts.
    DemmeFatale:
    I love the smell of patchoulli in the afternoon.

  24. user-of-owls says at 3:41 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    DemmeFatale: Also, he looks like he smells. It’s worse than that: he’s Dutch.

  25. Lemme see him do an ILS approach at Atlanta. In torrential rain. At night. On a holiday week-end.

  26. coffeeyesplease says at 3:59 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    That is such a crappy trick
    @shortsshortsshorts….
    he’s not using a teleprompter.. this lazy hippie is sitting on it.
    Damn foreigners, I don’t understand why Hopey wants to get along with them….

  27. shanemacgowan says at 4:06 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    chascates: Monica Goodling graduated from the Law School of Magical Sciences. I don’t want her back.

  28. DustBowlBlues says at 4:21 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    A rare Sunday wonkette post–a reason not to kill my palsied self. 8 or 9 years ago when I was in Katmandu (and not stoned, btw) I was given a tour of the Temple of the Sleeping Buddha (personally, I think the statue fell over and they didn’t bother pushing him back up) and the nooks of the temple were occupied by various Sadduhs, (sP?) the men who have abandoned all worldly goods to end the cycle of reincarnation and gain enlightment. (wtf?? how to spell that? I thought I had it correct).

    Having said that, some of these men are sincerely religious and do amazing things. Others, ugh, one of the Sadduhs was sitting in a nook and our volunteer “guide” explained, “This is Hindu Holy Man. He must sit in temple all day and smoke marijuana.”

    I’m not sure, but I think I might have had freshman philosophy with him back in the 60s.

  29. chascates says at 4:39 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    DustBowlBlues: Sadhu, perhaps? And isn’t there a group of traveling mystics who own only a begging bowl, walking staff, and a chillum?

    Hey, it’s worked for millenia!

  30. ifthethunderdontgetya" says at 4:40 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    DustBowlBlues: and gain enlightment.

    Enlightenment: When you are in college (or such as), and someone finds some matches.
    ~

  31. V572625694 says at 5:27 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    Is he a graduate of Maharishi University in Fairfield, IA? They were giving PhDs in levitation, “back in the day” (to coin a phrase).

    DustBowlBlues: My whole life is here in Wonkette CommentSpace. The rest is an illusion.

  32. Country Club Jihadi says at 5:31 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    “Smegma Von B’Eau” probably acts like he’s got a stick up his ass, also.

  33. Yes, this is from when we were all still stinking rich, in 2007. It involves magic patchouli oil, a magic steel rod painted to look like bamboo, and a manhole that magically appears when the rug is moved. Actually I think I just saw this guy over on Haight wiping his puppy’s ass with an Examiner.

  34. Colander says at 5:41 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    Congress really needs to get moving on the Mutant Registration Act.

  35. El Pinche says at 6:02 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    I say we grab that magical commie, Criss “I’ll fuck anything with nipples” Angel, and David “Mocha Magic” Blaine, and harness their mystical powers to STIMULATE THE EECONOMY AND DESTROY ACORNS FOREVRR!!1!!

    “But the second thought I had when I saw these Hurricane Katrina survivors, and they had to shut down the Astrodome and lock it down, I thought: I didn’t think I could hate victims faster than the 9-11 victims.” –Glenn Beck

  36. So what’s the deal with this “By Diagonal View” thing? Are they a new sponsor I should caste my admiration towards, or did they get an exclusive on the floatin’ hippie story?

  37. That would of course be Diagonalview, not Digital View. Yes, I did say earlier I’ve been hitting the Organic and commenting. I’ll stop now.

  38. 102415 says at 6:16 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    DustBowlBlues: Haha,I went to India for a month three years ago to represent mmm, America!and to gain close to a thousand new relatives.I stayed strictly away from any magical stuff as it could have caused violence or disgust certainly and spent most of my time eating food with a half a cup of butter in it and buying clothes twice a day for all the different parties.I brought 9 pairs of shoes with me and still was forced to buy a new pair just about everyday or people would comment politely.When I got home I really really missed Fabindia and the Punjabi lamb which I always had to finish or else!Yes, and I should have bought more shoes and more gold although nothing was cheap if it was middle class, not like at Sears and Walmart.
    Oh yeah, and when you go to the Taj Mahal it is not all empty and quiet like the post cards. It’s filled with people yelling at the top of their lungs.Awesome.
    Annnnd- don’t touch the damn poor half dead cobra snakes in the bags it’s not organic.
    I love India and call Citibank customer service every once and awhile to find out the latest gossip.
    “No, it cannot fail darling,rest assured. Word.”
    -Jeffery.

  39. Scandalabra says at 6:19 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    This shit wouldn’t have happened during the Bush administration. WAKE UP SHEEPLE. Mickelle O’Commie is turning the White House into the Esalin Institute East. Next thing you know they will be practicing Tantric Yoga out under the White House “clothesline”.

  40. Canuckledragger says at 7:02 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    sanantonerose: Wow, there’s somebody here MY age, in order to remember that. How sad for us both.

    Y’all: this is the messenger sent to convert Hopey to the Natural Law Party, full o’ jumpin’ levitators like Doug Henning.

    Sorry, but I’m drunk earlier than usual.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natural_Law_Party

  41. facehead says at 7:02 pm, March 22nd, 2009
  42. Custerwolf says at 7:18 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    I just looked at this video for the 200th time (I really dig the soundtrack) and I FINALLY saw the date pictured across the screen. This was made way back in Oct. of 2007. So of course, it’s obvious now how he “floated.” He was simply sitting aloft Dick Cheny’s forcefield of hate.

  43. american mutt says at 7:31 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    I bet you this loser has “San Fransisco values”.

  44. DoctorCulturae says at 7:50 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    Custerwolf: I don’t know about that. To sit atop the Forcefield of Hate one would be somewhere above the Wash. Monument.

  45. SayItWithWookies says at 7:52 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    Eh — fakir on a stick. You could starve to death eating that.

  46. S.Luggo says at 8:18 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    In another leak from the “X Files”:
    “Canadian David Frum a force for moderation in U.S. Republican Party”

    http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20090322.wibbitson22/BNStory/International/home

  47. rocktonsammy says at 8:21 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    Barry’s right, the Mall does need new sod planted.

  48. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 8:51 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    Has it not been foretold? Step aside Limbaugh, the true leader of the Republican Party has been revealed!

  49. S.Luggo says at 9:07 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    Colander: Which will immediately be opposed by the NRA. 12 fingers good, 10 fingers bad.

  50. hobospacejungle says at 9:12 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    Cartman: Naw dude, Independent films are those black and white hippy movies. They’re always about gay cowboys eating pudding.

  51. Giant Robot says at 9:31 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    A floating hippie and no Peggy Noonan? That was a pretty crap weekend.

  52. wheelie says at 9:38 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    Canuckledragger: The Natural Law Party were so close to a winning formula with their “Hop and Change” platform.

    . . . Anyways, this hippie is just a floating voter. Wocka wocka.

  53. Monsieur Grumpe says at 9:42 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    It’s obviously a helium overdose. Kids, take note. Lighter than air inert gas addiction turned this formerly clean cut heterosexual student into a dirty floating hippie. Scary huh?

  54. Uncle Glenny says at 9:51 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    ‘Mucosus invertebratus caputithyphallicus’ - slimy spineless dickhead

    I thought this had something to do with Karl Rove except it involved large penises.

    http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2009/03/hey_those_arent_terrifyingthos.php

  55. Custerwolf says at 9:52 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    This hippie’s trick is bullshit, but Hopey Floats.

  56. The magic of the cantilever: it’s stronger than it looks! I think the dude is just taking a break from his day job, calculating option prices. Which is another form of illusion…

  57. S.Luggo says at 10:42 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    Giant Robot:
    La Comtesse Peggyton is now ‘vacationing’ at a certain facility.
    But before she left for her confinement, she left this, unfinished, on her word processor:

    “America the beautiful. Amber waves. Spacious skies.
    As I shared chilled appletinis with my maid Joselita, our hands clasping the flask in only a way that makes this an immigrant nation possible, I saw from Central Park a dimning of the lights of the Towers of Zenith, a loss of the future and a loss of hope. Bonuses dragged under the political machine; bonuses gone.”

  58. S.Luggo says at 10:46 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    Monsieur Grumpe: Children behave?

  59. Bearbloke says at 10:53 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    S.Luggo: Perhaps the Lady Peggingtonshire wilst bid ‘Bonjour’ to her gracious hosts, Mistress ‘Betty’ & consort ‘Bill W’, on our behalf?

  60. shortsshortsshorts says at 11:05 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    Giant Robot: There is only so much that the Yellow Lampshade can do.

  61. S.Luggo says at 11:18 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    Bearbloke: I assume that you mean Elizabeth Dole and her consort, Bill “Wild” Cody.

  62. Voyou Charmant says at 11:39 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    And this is why it is perfectly acceptable to hate hippies.

  63. WadISay says at 11:54 pm, March 22nd, 2009

    OK. So, this Buddhist goes up to a hot dog stand and says to the vendor, “Make me one with everything.” (Wait! It gets better!) The vendor gives him a hot dog, so the Buddhist gives him a $20 bill and says, “Where’s my change?”, and the vendor says, “Change must come from within.” Bwahahaha.

  64. greywindz says at 12:44 am, March 23rd, 2009

    See? That’s the contribution of my country India to the world…free flying trips…with added Nirvana…

  65. 2druk2phluq says at 1:58 am, March 23rd, 2009

    V572625694: My whole life is not here in Wonkette comment space. Wonkette is just the source for a lot of the levity I require in order not to hang myself from one of those giant crosses adorning the buildings where hypocrites go to hate on Sunday.

    El Pinche: I am legally allowed to beat Glen Beck to a pulp if he ever shows his face in New Orleans [the City of the Dead, as lifelong natives now call it]; there’s not a judge in that city who likes Glen “Sucks Cock Poorly” Beck.

  66. Gallowglass says at 3:19 am, March 23rd, 2009

    2druk2phluq: It’s impossible for me to look at his jiggly Mormon face without flying into an incandescent rage. I want for him to be the recipient of a grotesque act of revenge, straight out of a Tarentino film.

  67. ForTheTurnstiles says at 8:33 am, March 23rd, 2009

    greywindz:
    Canuckledragger:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qv7R19xL9Is

    The Natural Law Party lives and breathes still today in this shit. Ken Wilber is the next Ron Paul.

    I certainly hope that Indians just manufacture it for the export market but then again that Sathya Sai fellow seems to be running the country from underneath a pile of magic tricks and underage boys…

  68. Lazy Media says at 9:33 am, March 23rd, 2009

    You can tell that whole thing is fake; chrysanthemums don’t bloom in the spring.

  69. greywindz says at 10:12 am, March 23rd, 2009

    ForTheTurnstiles: You forgot our greatest gift to the world of science and technology…without which we wouldn’t have been typing now…it’s 0 (zero)…no pun intended…

    On a serious note…you really wanted me to watch that thing? Give my 31 minutes back, buddy…

  70. ForTheTurnstiles says at 10:21 am, March 23rd, 2009

    greywindz: The 31 minutes is part of the joke. These are people who spend all day talking about how brilliant Aurobindo Ghose is, but can’t read the first chapter of his 1,006 page book, The Live Divine (a Victorian novel later transformed into the screenplay for Slumdog Millionaire)

  71. Custerwolf says at 11:06 am, March 23rd, 2009

    As a nihilist I have to say that Ken Wilber knows a whole lot about nothing.

  72. Ok, seriously, if you can’t figure out how a dude is sitting on a stick for more than 2 minutes. Fuck You!

  73. Mad Farmer Manifest says at 4:09 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    Custerwolf: Stangely, yes. Them physicists are now thinking that there is positive (attractive) and negative (repulsive) gravitational forces. Rushbo is a master of the repulsive part.

  74. Custerwolf says at 5:44 pm, March 23rd, 2009

    Mad Farmer Manifest: Hmmmm…I’ll have to look into that. As I understand it gravity is PURE unadulterated ATTRACTION. I’ll have to talk to one of these physisists of which you speak, messing with my entire cosomological outlook. Fuckers.

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