Wonkette
Spring is almost here! How do we know? These goddamn hippies doing “magic” outside the White House. Stalin wouldn’t allow this if he was still president. [Daily Motion]
MUST BE THE DOPE FUMES
Hippie Floating Outside White House
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If he’s a graduate of the Academy of Magical Sciences send him over to the Treasury department!
I don’t actually think he’s floating. I think he’s been impaled.
YA WHATEVER. HE’S PROBABLY JUST USING A TELEPROMPTER1!
Meet President Obama’s new Secretary of Transcendental Enlightenment…
Hah, magic via Photoshop. Ob-Wan Kenobi, he ain’t.
Though perhaps he’s been eating some of that organic stuff. Gives ya gas to liftoff.
And you still need proof that we should legalize it? What’s it going to take, people?!
That’s the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. Well except for this.
Typical hippie, can’t stand on his own two feet.
When he succeeds in levitating the Pentagon, let me know.
Special Agent Jack Mehoff: Mike Silpa can disappear his deck inside me ANY time.
What are the magical pylons for?
Special Agent Jack Mehoff: Amazing
Yeesh! He’s a young guy, but so not buff. Also, he looks like he smells.
This isn’t magic. Anyone can see he’s sitting on my 401k.
I’ve been hitting the ‘organic’ pretty hard and I think I can do that too. I don’t think I will because if I had to go to the bathroom it would create quite a mess. And I’m not some kind of Vitter.
With Barry in the White House, miracles are commonplace within a 500 yard radius.
So, these wingnuts who complain that he’s partying too hard on the Gubbernment Dime need to realize he can turn water into wine. Jeebus did it after all, and that’s who they liken him to.
fuckinredneck: Say no more, that is without a doubt a majic bamboo bong he’s grasping
“…harnessing the forces of gravity.”
There’s more than one?
wheelie: Damn hippie, doesn’t think he has to pull himself up by his bootstraps.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=etSivpBHUmE
He’s obviously sitting on something attached to that stick. The real magician is whomever made the chair.
ExtraLegal: you should check out the youtube link above your post.
Does he have a miniature Devil’s Tower in his livingroom, stare at formations in his shaving cream, or sculpt with mashed potatoes?
Custerwolf:
Safety. In case he McFarts.
DemmeFatale:
I love the smell of patchoulli in the afternoon.
DemmeFatale: Also, he looks like he smells. It’s worse than that: he’s Dutch.
Lemme see him do an ILS approach at Atlanta. In torrential rain. At night. On a holiday week-end.
That is such a crappy trick
@shortsshortsshorts….
he’s not using a teleprompter.. this lazy hippie is sitting on it.
Damn foreigners, I don’t understand why Hopey wants to get along with them….
chascates: Monica Goodling graduated from the Law School of Magical Sciences. I don’t want her back.
A rare Sunday wonkette post–a reason not to kill my palsied self. 8 or 9 years ago when I was in Katmandu (and not stoned, btw) I was given a tour of the Temple of the Sleeping Buddha (personally, I think the statue fell over and they didn’t bother pushing him back up) and the nooks of the temple were occupied by various Sadduhs, (sP?) the men who have abandoned all worldly goods to end the cycle of reincarnation and gain enlightment. (wtf?? how to spell that? I thought I had it correct).
Having said that, some of these men are sincerely religious and do amazing things. Others, ugh, one of the Sadduhs was sitting in a nook and our volunteer “guide” explained, “This is Hindu Holy Man. He must sit in temple all day and smoke marijuana.”
I’m not sure, but I think I might have had freshman philosophy with him back in the 60s.
DustBowlBlues: Sadhu, perhaps? And isn’t there a group of traveling mystics who own only a begging bowl, walking staff, and a chillum?
Hey, it’s worked for millenia!
DustBowlBlues: and gain enlightment.
Enlightenment: When you are in college (or such as), and someone finds some matches.
~
Is he a graduate of Maharishi University in Fairfield, IA? They were giving PhDs in levitation, “back in the day” (to coin a phrase).
DustBowlBlues: My whole life is here in Wonkette CommentSpace. The rest is an illusion.
“Smegma Von B’Eau” probably acts like he’s got a stick up his ass, also.
Yes, this is from when we were all still stinking rich, in 2007. It involves magic patchouli oil, a magic steel rod painted to look like bamboo, and a manhole that magically appears when the rug is moved. Actually I think I just saw this guy over on Haight wiping his puppy’s ass with an Examiner.
Congress really needs to get moving on the Mutant Registration Act.
I say we grab that magical commie, Criss “I’ll fuck anything with nipples” Angel, and David “Mocha Magic” Blaine, and harness their mystical powers to STIMULATE THE EECONOMY AND DESTROY ACORNS FOREVRR!!1!!
“But the second thought I had when I saw these Hurricane Katrina survivors, and they had to shut down the Astrodome and lock it down, I thought: I didn’t think I could hate victims faster than the 9-11 victims.” –Glenn Beck
So what’s the deal with this “By Diagonal View” thing? Are they a new sponsor I should caste my admiration towards, or did they get an exclusive on the floatin’ hippie story?
That would of course be Diagonalview, not Digital View. Yes, I did say earlier I’ve been hitting the Organic and commenting. I’ll stop now.
DustBowlBlues: Haha,I went to India for a month three years ago to represent mmm, America!and to gain close to a thousand new relatives.I stayed strictly away from any magical stuff as it could have caused violence or disgust certainly and spent most of my time eating food with a half a cup of butter in it and buying clothes twice a day for all the different parties.I brought 9 pairs of shoes with me and still was forced to buy a new pair just about everyday or people would comment politely.When I got home I really really missed Fabindia and the Punjabi lamb which I always had to finish or else!Yes, and I should have bought more shoes and more gold although nothing was cheap if it was middle class, not like at Sears and Walmart.
Oh yeah, and when you go to the Taj Mahal it is not all empty and quiet like the post cards. It’s filled with people yelling at the top of their lungs.Awesome.
Annnnd- don’t touch the damn poor half dead cobra snakes in the bags it’s not organic.
I love India and call Citibank customer service every once and awhile to find out the latest gossip.
“No, it cannot fail darling,rest assured. Word.”
-Jeffery.
This shit wouldn’t have happened during the Bush administration. WAKE UP SHEEPLE. Mickelle O’Commie is turning the White House into the Esalin Institute East. Next thing you know they will be practicing Tantric Yoga out under the White House “clothesline”.
sanantonerose: Wow, there’s somebody here MY age, in order to remember that. How sad for us both.
Y’all: this is the messenger sent to convert Hopey to the Natural Law Party, full o’ jumpin’ levitators like Doug Henning.
Sorry, but I’m drunk earlier than usual.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Natural_Law_Party
shortsshortsshorts: WIN (though we both know YOU use a teleprompter)
Special Agent Jack Mehoff: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmnHLUW8Z1o&feature=related
I just looked at this video for the 200th time (I really dig the soundtrack) and I FINALLY saw the date pictured across the screen. This was made way back in Oct. of 2007. So of course, it’s obvious now how he “floated.” He was simply sitting aloft Dick Cheny’s forcefield of hate.
I bet you this loser has “San Fransisco values”.
Custerwolf: I don’t know about that. To sit atop the Forcefield of Hate one would be somewhere above the Wash. Monument.
Eh — fakir on a stick. You could starve to death eating that.
In another leak from the “X Files”:
“Canadian David Frum a force for moderation in U.S. Republican Party”
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20090322.wibbitson22/BNStory/International/home
Barry’s right, the Mall does need new sod planted.
Has it not been foretold? Step aside Limbaugh, the true leader of the Republican Party has been revealed!
Colander: Which will immediately be opposed by the NRA. 12 fingers good, 10 fingers bad.
Cartman: Naw dude, Independent films are those black and white hippy movies. They’re always about gay cowboys eating pudding.
A floating hippie and no Peggy Noonan? That was a pretty crap weekend.
Canuckledragger: The Natural Law Party were so close to a winning formula with their “Hop and Change” platform.
. . . Anyways, this hippie is just a floating voter. Wocka wocka.
It’s obviously a helium overdose. Kids, take note. Lighter than air inert gas addiction turned this formerly clean cut heterosexual student into a dirty floating hippie. Scary huh?
‘Mucosus invertebratus caputithyphallicus’ - slimy spineless dickhead
I thought this had something to do with Karl Rove except it involved large penises.
http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2009/03/hey_those_arent_terrifyingthos.php
This hippie’s trick is bullshit, but Hopey Floats.
The magic of the cantilever: it’s stronger than it looks! I think the dude is just taking a break from his day job, calculating option prices. Which is another form of illusion…
Giant Robot:
La Comtesse Peggyton is now ‘vacationing’ at a certain facility.
But before she left for her confinement, she left this, unfinished, on her word processor:
“America the beautiful. Amber waves. Spacious skies.
As I shared chilled appletinis with my maid Joselita, our hands clasping the flask in only a way that makes this an immigrant nation possible, I saw from Central Park a dimning of the lights of the Towers of Zenith, a loss of the future and a loss of hope. Bonuses dragged under the political machine; bonuses gone.”
Monsieur Grumpe: Children behave?
S.Luggo: Perhaps the Lady Peggingtonshire wilst bid ‘Bonjour’ to her gracious hosts, Mistress ‘Betty’ & consort ‘Bill W’, on our behalf?
Giant Robot: There is only so much that the Yellow Lampshade can do.
Bearbloke: I assume that you mean Elizabeth Dole and her consort, Bill “Wild” Cody.
And this is why it is perfectly acceptable to hate hippies.
OK. So, this Buddhist goes up to a hot dog stand and says to the vendor, “Make me one with everything.” (Wait! It gets better!) The vendor gives him a hot dog, so the Buddhist gives him a $20 bill and says, “Where’s my change?”, and the vendor says, “Change must come from within.” Bwahahaha.
See? That’s the contribution of my country India to the world…free flying trips…with added Nirvana…
V572625694: My whole life is not here in Wonkette comment space. Wonkette is just the source for a lot of the levity I require in order not to hang myself from one of those giant crosses adorning the buildings where hypocrites go to hate on Sunday.
El Pinche: I am legally allowed to beat Glen Beck to a pulp if he ever shows his face in New Orleans [the City of the Dead, as lifelong natives now call it]; there’s not a judge in that city who likes Glen “Sucks Cock Poorly” Beck.
2druk2phluq: It’s impossible for me to look at his jiggly Mormon face without flying into an incandescent rage. I want for him to be the recipient of a grotesque act of revenge, straight out of a Tarentino film.
greywindz:
Canuckledragger:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qv7R19xL9Is
The Natural Law Party lives and breathes still today in this shit. Ken Wilber is the next Ron Paul.
I certainly hope that Indians just manufacture it for the export market but then again that Sathya Sai fellow seems to be running the country from underneath a pile of magic tricks and underage boys…
You can tell that whole thing is fake; chrysanthemums don’t bloom in the spring.
ForTheTurnstiles: You forgot our greatest gift to the world of science and technology…without which we wouldn’t have been typing now…it’s 0 (zero)…no pun intended…
On a serious note…you really wanted me to watch that thing? Give my 31 minutes back, buddy…
greywindz: The 31 minutes is part of the joke. These are people who spend all day talking about how brilliant Aurobindo Ghose is, but can’t read the first chapter of his 1,006 page book, The Live Divine (a Victorian novel later transformed into the screenplay for Slumdog Millionaire)
As a nihilist I have to say that Ken Wilber knows a whole lot about nothing.
Ok, seriously, if you can’t figure out how a dude is sitting on a stick for more than 2 minutes. Fuck You!
Custerwolf: Stangely, yes. Them physicists are now thinking that there is positive (attractive) and negative (repulsive) gravitational forces. Rushbo is a master of the repulsive part.
Mad Farmer Manifest: Hmmmm…I’ll have to look into that. As I understand it gravity is PURE unadulterated ATTRACTION. I’ll have to talk to one of these physisists of which you speak, messing with my entire cosomological outlook. Fuckers.