Wonkette
There seemed to be a hilarious awards ceremony dinner in Washington last night thrown by the Media Research Center, which researches how liberal and gay the media is. It was called the “DisHonor Awards” — see what they did there? — and so a bunch of assholes came to make “Obamessiah” jokes. Joe the Plumber showed up is slob clothes as usual (because that’s his character!) and said, “God, all this love and everything in the room - I’m horny,” which appears to have scarred the entire Washington Post staff. [Washington Post/The Sleuth]
Ross Douthat thought Joe was speaking directly to him.
Fathers lock up your sons there’s a Republican on the prowl.
God that man is a total slob. An authentic plumber would wear overalls or something. Or carry a drain snake I dunno.
Joe the Plumber walks around in slob clothes all the time because he is a man of the people. Fidel Castro used to use that kind of theater, too. I wonder if Joe’s going to turn up at the UN one day surrounded by a flock of chickens? It seems that that’s what he’s promising us.
I’m scarred for life just reading about it.
Wasn’t JtP quoting someone from SXSW?
I would fuck my leprotic, retarded, one-testicled, pedophilic uncle before I would EVER fuck that guy.
I’m horny
Perhaps a tryst with a pipe could be arranged.
Saying “I’m horny” will knock up virtually any woman with the last name Palin.
how could he be horny? he’s fucked up everything he’s touched.
Funny how the audience of an awards show which gave out the “Obamagasm Award” was scandalized by the use of the word horny. Not that I’m condoning Joe, because that was totally gross.
Joe the Horny..ick.
SayItWithWookies: Win.
…of course the poor guy is horny, the last time he saw a vagina he was being held upside down and slapped on the ass by a doctor!
mylesfromnowhere: HEYO.
This may be off topic, but can anyone believe that they still use that crappy Lee Greenwood country song to warm up the crowd at events like this? I mean, that song was a sucky “God Bless America” without the Jewish composer knock off 30 years ago, when it first came out, and it hasn’t gotten much better since then.
…I would tell him to go “jack-off”, but everytime he does his hand just rolls over and goes to sleep!
That’s it. I’m lesbo now. Thank you, Joe!
I have been crying all morning since I heard that horrible Joe the Plumber quote.
Joe is horny and Megan is looking for a date. Talk about a win win situation.
We are left to wonder who the really funny people who appeared before Joe, that he alluded to, are. Dennis Miller? Mitch McConnell? Michael Stelle?
Joe is slated to become the dean of the Kollege of Komedy Knowledge at Regent University. Because “K” is funny. Also.
He looked into Jeff Gannon’s soul…
I clicked on the “Meet Mary Ann Akers” link… because like Not Joe the Not Plumber, I too am horny. Alas, it did not go to her Adult Friend Finder page!
Joe sez, “When we get back to work tomorrow…” Just what kind of work is he doing? The alleged plumbing career appears to be over, so what is it? Stand-in for the Gerber baby on the strained peas jars?
joe the plumber being horny makes me want to be heterosexual.
The idea of JtP and Custerwolf doing it has made Ross Douthat h0rny.
…whats with all stupid flannel shirts? He looks like a gay lumber-jack(no offense to gay lumber-jacks)!
Yeah, get all your cheap laughs now, mocking laughsters, because this creepy molester has about 2 more weeks of pseudo-relevance and then it’s right back to full-time on the Lazy-Boy, smashing Brew-dogs and screaming unintelligibly at “the View” (those bitches ain’t got no right!).
And F ck You “Johnetic”! That’s the best song ever written about being proud, knowing you’re free and standing up to defend stuff. Never forget!
Mr. Plumber, Jonathan Krohn would like a word with you in his limo.
Sangwi Ddong Chim: Haha, Joe will never go away. Just like the lions didn’t bite Daniel because they knew you can’t keep a good man down.
…list of failed careers:
Joe the PlumberJoe the campaign propJoe the digital conversion box guyJoe the war correspondentJoe the authorJoe the “comedian”Joe the ???Joe the ???Joe the ???Joe the flaccid gay porno starHey Joe - Eddie Vedder called and said he wants his shirt back.
You would have thought that all the plumbers would have risen up and killed this guy by now. Geez first ass crack now this is what I am associated with??!!
AngryBlakGuy: Everyone knows you have to wear flannel under your Klan robes
to reduce chafing. Also.
David Cross has a great line about that song becoming a hit a second time (first during the Gulf War) and after 9/11 - “you’d gladly stand up next to the flag and defend her still today? Ohh, great, here’s your SECOND chance, asshole, the plane to Baghdad’s right over there.”
Remember when the republican party used to be all patrician and have manners and referred to each other as poppy and stuff?
Can’t you see joe hanging over someone, “snaking a pipe” as it were, and saying that? Moobs shaking back an forth?
And to everyone thinking of starting a diet: You’re welcome.
i’d plumb his depths, with about a pound of buckshot.
Joe was just letting Bristol Palin know that now that she has dumped Levi, he’ll be on the next bridge to nowhere. Here comes your new baby daddy, Bristol.
There would be something so right about JTP being Bible Spice’s son-in-law. The only thing that would be missing from the family would be their fat old uncle on the radio down in Florida. They have to keep him away because he would try to fuck Trig.
I’ve never seen a guy give a speach before with his hands in his pockets
maybe that’s why he is horny?
BTW Larry Craig’s cover version of that song is much better
and much gayer
I like to think that Republican voters have been whittled away to barely-cogent elderly white folk who dream that Their America has storybook dreams around the corner about to come true, one of them being where Joe the Plumber marries Sarah Palin and together conceive the greatest leader since Reagan, George W. Iraq Plumber, who defeats terrorists by bombing them with tax books and colored folk.
Ok, nothing makes me laugh harder than hearing Lee Greenwood singing “Proud to be an American” in an un-ironic situation.
americanscandoanything:
is the last line in Larry Craig’s version “god bless the CDC?” becuase that might be considered more gay than the Lee Greenwood version.
Crab1: Nothiing makes me laugh harder than a guy with blue balls listening to greenwood.
Full. Body. Shudder. Does not even BEGIN to describe how gross, repulsive, disgusting, and nasty it is to hear the word “horny” emitted by Joe the WON’T YOU PLEASE HURRY UP AND DIE. Making this idiocy even grosser is the use of “God Bless the USA” to introduce this loser.
It’s like a mouthful of cheap populism, deviant sex, hypocrisy, misguided patriotism, and bullheaded ignorance, wrapped in stupidity, and served on a flannel platter with a dollop of jizz.
Does he get paid for that? Someone has got to be asking for a refund.
I loved Not Joe’s foreshadowing of the “overtime” he’s going to be requesting when he goes back to being a plumber’s apprentice.
“No, boss, remember? I told the Media Research Center that we all had a lot of overtime coming.”
“What do you mean I don’t get time and a half, you g/d socialist?”
“What do you mean, ’sue me for it, loser.’? Lawyers are socialists too.”
“What do you mean it shouldn’t take anyone 14 hours to clear a septic system? real Ohioans live here. real, fat, slack-jawed, right-leaning Ohioans.”
I would think with all the hand outs, Not-Joe the non-plumber could get a new shirt. Maybe something brown.
Anyway, since Not-Joe is horny, does this mean that there is was some domestic violence action going on after the clip? That seems to be his m.o., even though I kind of think “Joe the wife beater” is kind of catchy.
NoWireHangers: C’mon Hangers, don;t hold back. Tell us how you really feel.
Mr Blifil:
Surely you meant ‘hole’
Or perhaps even the hole of his soul, or maybe the soul of his hole.
Alright, I’ll stop now.
Joe’s statement is the sum total of Republican foreplay. The proper response is “Ohhhhh…”.
Custerwolf: I think we might have the same uncle! He’s a very bad lay, or so I’ve heard.
Vewol Mevemont: I’ve never boned him, but I once talked his ear off.
After the speech Larry Craig turned to his “wife” and was like “he was totally looking at me when he said that part about being horny.”
The disturbing thing is that there were real Republicans in the room, not farmer John Redneck types but rather gazillion dollar don’t wanna pay no damned taxes type Republicans, and they are all taking this guy seriously.
It’s as if they were all retarded or something.
NoWireHangers: Well said. Would you bear me a child?
gurukalehuru: Yes… it’s AS IF they were retarded. Exactly?
Capricatony: I believe it was Pappy…
Larry McAwful: Joe reminds me of the guys that were being supported by their parents or wives and spent all day driving around in a new pickup drinking coffee and bullshiting. Hey, I was a roofer for ten years. All real contractors would take a shower and put on some nice clothes if they were invited to dinner.
NoWireHangers: It’s like a mouthful of cheap populism, deviant sex, hypocrisy, misguided patriotism, and bullheaded ignorance, wrapped in stupidity, and served on a flannel platter with a dollop of jizz.
Don’t hold back, Hangers. We’re all friends here.
samsuncle: They can become talk radio’s new duo: Plump and Plumber.
At first I’m thinkin this is unfuckinbeleivable but hey there is at least a dozen crazy winginas there willing to drain his little snake.
Hell, I could tell he was horny just by how straight he was standing.
Kev-O-Tron: he is a drain snake….unlicensed one at that.
Capricatony: Yeah, they used to be straight, too. We know how Nelson Rockefeller died, and that was pre-Viagra and everything. John Lindsey. Also.
he’s not two serious, he’s at least 3 or 4 serious.
1. A serious idiot
2. A serious fraud
3. A serious dick
4. A serious sociopath.
5. I could go on, but the words get big and sociopath is already beyond his ken.
If he thinks that he knows what work is it not reflected in his self=confessed work history.
You’d, uh, think that he probably, uh, wasn’t, uh, actually expecting to, uh, walk up to the, uh, stage and, uh, speak.
Larry McAwful: Michael Moore as well and it’s not working for me on any of them, except maybe Fidel because we all need a cheap emergency Halloween costume.
Plus the creature I want to see at the UN surrounded by a flock of chickens is Gonzo.
That absolutely was not done with no TELEPROMPTERZ.
Can any of you PR people find out exactly what his speaking fee is? Is it based on syllable count?
Trace: I couldn’t tell if he had a wide stance
The main message I got out of this, is that all we have to do is work hard, have multiple jobs, and work overtime, i.e., pull ourselves up by our bootstraps to get out of this recession. Then, and only then, can you afford one of the coveted McMansions. I am also looking forward to seeing AIG bonus pool recipients getting a weekend job at Krispy Kreme. They need to work a lot harder too because they are more productive and therefore better than us.
I don’t want to think about that bald mongoloid being horny. Thanks girls of Wonkette!
Maybe he could pleasure Ann Coulter with some of his plumbing implements; that would save some poor soul risking life and lingam.
He is surely looks horny , yack !
http://www.aplumbers.com/plumbing-costs