Wonkette
Well, who knew. We thought that spies spent all their time smuggling secret messages in their butts and wearing goofy disguises, but it appears they also devote many hours of their workday to supporting their mistresses and date-raping Algerians.
One particular guy, Andrew Warren, stands accused of taking new recruits to strip clubs, as well as drugging and sexually assaulting two Algerian women. And also this:
While looking into the allegations, U.S. officials discovered in Warren’s apartment more than two dozen video recordings that he apparently made of his sexual encounters, according to news accounts and two U.S. officials familiar with the investigation. One of the women behind the rape allegations appears in one of the videos, the officials said.
Apparently Warren’s colleagues knew for years that he liked to go to strip clubs “and other sex-related establishments for recruiting.” But they figured meh, he did good work! It cost the agency buckets of money but nobody seemed to care.
Additionally, this Dusty Foggo character, who went to prison for three years because of his connections to that whole Duke Cunningham mess, also bullied the CIA into giving his mistress a job.
The CIA is basically like any other bureaucracy, is the point.
Latest CIA Scandal Puts Focus on How Agency Polices Self [Washington Post]
James Bond sez, Meh.
She looks like she’s getting her peelings hurt.
You’d think the line “I work for the CIA” would get him free nookie (or enough that he didn’t have to drug & rape women). He must look like El RushBo.
There’s nothing wrong with Enhanced Interrogation techniques. Cheney said so. It’s date-raping for freedom, doing it thee, so we don’t have to do it here.
Meh. Less exciting than those sex and cocaine freaks at the Interior Department’s Minerals Management Service:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/story/2008/09/10/ST2008091002738.html
Custerwolf: You, Custerwolf are the Top Banana.
Now THAT’S banana puddin’ I can believe in!
Just like Mom used to make.
Wait, what?
The price of freedom is constant vigilance, which is a little much. Torture and rape are cheaper.
…are they hiring by any chance?
Disgusting.
Feh, it’s par for the course for Harvard transfer gals at Pepperdine.
They need to go back to just murdering people.
Banana Cream Pie?
Well thankfully, the keep themselves busy going on witchhunts for homosexuals.
your tax dollars at work
Because every God-fearin’ Christian knows that porn is the stepping stone to spraying bullets into an elementary school.
Let me guess, Andrew was obsessed with Austin Power’s movies and annoyed fellow CIA agents by constantly talking with a cheesy British accent.
I’d be more put off if the CIA wasn’t crawling with sex creeps.
I’ll bet that NSF administrator who had to apologize for porn on the hard drive wishes he joined a different agency. No wonder US science scores suck.
SayItWithWookies: Thus spake Joe the Plumber.
Custerwolf: Horray for bad puns!
cal:
That’s a winner.
Hijabs don’t leave much room for error when deciding whether she was asking for it.
Lorax: Damn you! I get the strangest looks when I burst out laughing like that.
In their defense, the best fuck I ever had was with an agent.
I guess they need to rename the George H.W. Bush Center for Central Intelligence to the David Vitter Center for Creative Fornication.
shanemacgowan: It could have been worse -
I could have said it looked like he was plantain evidence.
…while Russian spies are slipping Polonium-210 into peoples coffee our spies are slipping ruffies into the drinks of Algerians!
What was her bowling score i wonder???
Even reverse cowgirls get the blues.
This is only going to lead to the tragedy of underripe bananas having underripe bananas.
Custerwolf: oh thank you, this will get me through the day.
AngryBlakGuy: Exactly. It’s like bringing a banana to a gunfight.
He better hope she doesn’t have poisonous spiders.
KY makes sandpaper?
According to Cheney, it wasn’t rape but merely “enhanced necking.”
The story’s good, but the picture is incredible. Honestly, how do you find these gems? google image search for “two toy bananas having sex?” Or was that little knickknack just sitting around the office?
SayItWithWookies: But that’s what I call a banana split!
Gopherit: I hope he’s wearing a Fruit Roll-Up.
Custerwolf: cal: You people deserve scurvy.
SayItWithWookies: C.
That picture has real sex a-peel.
“I wanna peel good. I wanna peel good.”
Strip club? It’s hard to work undercover there.
No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to peel.
ugh
Putting the ‘ass’ in potassium…
I’ll just go have nightmares now.
I got a job with the CIA.
During background check, they asked me how many times I looked at porn per week.
I gave them an honest answer.
Didn’t pass the background check.
That looks like some good BONanaing.
“Mrs. Peel, we’re needed.”
I just reloaded this page and it got wedged transferring data from “puma.vizu.com” - THE PUMAS ARE INFILTRATING!!!11!!
ohthehugemanatee: So you didn’t get the job? I’m confused.
dbroe: Believe it or not, I found it doing an image search on “sex creeps.” Go figure.
hobospacejungle: Maybe he re-applied (with success) after having boned up on more porn?
Hooray For Anything: WIN.
Shouldn’t this post also be tagged “banana porn”, “fucking bananas”, or such as?
~
shanemacgowan: NSF? More like NSFW!!!
(backs out of room…)
Given that Algerians are famous for cutting people’s necks, this guy’s going to get in trouble in the field soon enough. Let nature take its course
Why would anyone with half a brain videotape himself committing a crime? Let alone a rape?
Zhu Bajie
Hey, could someone send this photo to Ross Douchethat at the NY Times and tell him to just follow the bananas and he never has to see any nasty lady fun bags…
zhubajie: The answer to your question is nestled snugly in your question.
Bananarama
dbroe: The pic was from last year’s Christmas card…
I do hope this was <a href=”http://www.veoh.com/browse/videos/category/entertainment/watch/v174739413mzY7Jzs”safe banana sex…
I tingk I broke teh Intarwebs….. let’s try this thing again…
‘Ahem…’ (*clears throat*) (*1, 2, “line, please?… thank you…” 3, annnnnnd Herrre’s Johnny!*…)
I hope that was safe banana sex…
[queue 'Audience laughter']
Bearbloke: Thanks - it was worth it.