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DAILY BRIEFING

Cage Matches For Financial Miscreants

  • Jay Leno failed the entire journalistic profession by not asking followup questions, or any difficult questions at all, of the president when he visited Leno’s late night entertainment variety show. [Baltimore Sun]
  • The Washington Post got to the “AIG employees are people too” story a day before the rest of them, but here’s one from today’s New York Times, for “balance.” [New York Times]
  • The House bill taxing big bonuses at 90 percent will make its way to the Senate next week, where it will be quietly gutted or maybe just thrown out entirely. [Bloomberg]
  • Eric Holder appears to be the one person in the new Obama administration who is, number one, capable of swift action, and number two, capable of swift action that pleases the liberals who helped get his boss elected. The latest tastiness: turning back Bush-era policies that restricted the release of records to the public. [Washington Post]
  • A high school in Dallas held cage fighting matches to settle disputes between students, and some parents are upset about this. [Dallas Morning News]
  • Madagascar’s new president is too young to be president, so Madagascar is no longer part of Africa. [AP]


8:59 AM on Fri March 20 2009
By Sara K. Smith
903 Views

  1. ManchuCandidate says at 9:06 am, March 20th, 2009

    SKS, I am deeply insulted and take serious SERIOUS umbrage with you about your line “Leno’s late night entertainment variety show.”

    There is nothing entertaining about Leno.

  2. ManchuCandidate says at 9:07 am, March 20th, 2009

    This high school in Dallas wouldn’t be called ThunderDome High and it’s principal is Aunty Entity?

  3. Canuckledragger says at 9:08 am, March 20th, 2009

    ManchuCandidate: Yeah, he’s no Mike Bullard or Mike McDonald. [Or Spike Ferensten for that matter.]

  4. ManchuCandidate says at 9:11 am, March 20th, 2009

    Canuckledragger:
    True, but Mike Dullard had the decency of being canceled. For US Americas who are scratching their heads wondering what the fuck we are taking about, Mike was Canada City’s “best”/worst/only late night talk show hoser with less talent than Leno’s chin.

  5. Delicious says at 9:16 am, March 20th, 2009

    America has turned into one big Special Olympics.

    Because we are special.

  6. groove says at 9:18 am, March 20th, 2009

    A real hard-hitting journalist would have asked what flavor of Starburst do they have aboard Marine One.

    There’s a reason Leno is on the outs.

  7. cynbot says at 9:20 am, March 20th, 2009
  8. Jay Leno failed

    Jon Stewart would have done a better job. And his is a *comedy* show. Oh, wait…

  9. Rary Guppert says at 9:25 am, March 20th, 2009

    madagascar is still part of africa!

    you know, sometimes i feel like wonkette is … lying to me. it sounds crazy, i know.

  10. Dallas? You mean, as in, Texas? Oh.

  11. Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish! says at 9:29 am, March 20th, 2009

    It appears if you want anything done in DC, you must have a pr0n stache. It worked in the entertainment world, what with Jeff Foxworthy, Tom Selleck, and Sarah Silverman.

  12. hobospacejungle says at 9:30 am, March 20th, 2009

    ManchuCandidate: In SKS’s defense, I believe “entertainment” is merely part of NBC’s description of Leno’s dog & pony show, not a guarantee of entertainment. Sort of like back when ESPN was known as the Entertainment & Sports Programming Network but was showing Canucksistani “football.” It had entertainment in the name, but none was actually available from the show.

    Anyhoos, I take it your not a fan of Leno’s hard-hitting, punch ‘em in the gut style of vicious political comedy? Many of us don’t have the stomach for it, either. But the dude is beyond bleeding edge. We can only hope to catch up to him someday, when YouTube videos of Leno will be as precious as videos of Bill Hicks are today.

  13. cynbot says at 9:34 am, March 20th, 2009

    You totally forgot to mention that the new Prez of Madagascar is a total fucking hottie. Let me be the first to say, I’d hit that. US America no longer has the hottest chief executive in the world … sad …

  14. cynbot says at 9:34 am, March 20th, 2009
  15. cynbot says at 9:36 am, March 20th, 2009

    How do you post a link on this damn site? I want to illustrate his godly brown hotness.

  16. Serolf Divad says at 9:37 am, March 20th, 2009

    Fucking Libtard bleeding-hearts. Don’t they realize that the only way our boys will be tough enough to survive in the post economic-collapse world of six-months-from-now is if we prepare them for the brutal death-matches they’re going to be facing in Thunderdome whenever they have a beef with some guy in a green mohawk and nail-studded leather jacket?

  17. hobospacejungle says at 9:38 am, March 20th, 2009

    cynbot: I believe you have succeeded.

  18. cynbot says at 9:38 am, March 20th, 2009

    Never mind, obviously

  19. Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish! says at 9:40 am, March 20th, 2009

    cynbot: He’s more like the Bobby Jindal of Africa.

  20. Chuckie Jesus says at 9:48 am, March 20th, 2009

    Cagematch? Psht. In the eighties at Washington Lee, it was called “home room”.

  21. I always said that high schools should use pugil stick fights (used in Marine basic training) to resolve conflicts. At least the participants are fully protected.
    However, I always need to remind myself that the Smother Mothers are in complete control.

  22. Mr Blifil says at 9:48 am, March 20th, 2009

    Seems like Dallas high school students will definitely have an advantage when the Hobo Wars come. Plus they probably are into the Rapture. Talk about no child left behind.

  23. pondscum says at 9:51 am, March 20th, 2009

    cynbot: Dude looks pretty young. Hitting that might make you a republican pedo bear.

  24. canadasteve says at 9:51 am, March 20th, 2009

    Why would a cartoon moovee have a coup?

  25. cynbot says at 9:53 am, March 20th, 2009

    pondscum: That’s fine, as long as the stalls in the men’s room at the Antananarivo Airport is sufficiently capacious.

  26. WadISay says at 9:55 am, March 20th, 2009

    It would have been cool if Barry had lit up a Chesterfield on Leno.

  27. Bronkers says at 9:58 am, March 20th, 2009

    Lemurs, aye-ayes, fossa, baobabs, sapphires and mobsters, the best vanilla and now a young new President whose claim to office is questionable (and that photo does make him look about 24) …. I so love the Malagasy and Madagascar.

    Which means that all this publicity will hasten the ruination of the Great Red Island, natch.

  28. Sussemilch says at 10:01 am, March 20th, 2009

    Thank you Eric Holder. Now can we finally get those meeting minutes from the Dick Cheney - Energy Task Force - 9/11 Planning Committee meeting in the White House?

  29. hobospacejungle says at 10:02 am, March 20th, 2009

    WadISay: Chesterfields are toasted!

  30. cynbot: Holy shit, you weren’t kidding. Summit, summit, summit!!

  31. MarieDeGournay says at 10:11 am, March 20th, 2009

    It’s good to see Lando’s on the case.

  32. Naked Bunny with a Whip says at 10:19 am, March 20th, 2009

    A high school in Dallas held cage fighting matches to settle disputes between students

    I know this seems harsh, but the make-up sex afterward let the boys bond emotionally.

  33. DustBowlBlues says at 10:24 am, March 20th, 2009

    AIG is made up of people? People, like the ones who put their own blind greed above the health of the global economy? You mean, those people? Oh, that’s what I thought the Post and Times meant. Okay. FUCK those people.

  34. DustBowlBlues says at 10:36 am, March 20th, 2009

    No snark–Eric Holder really is a supremely perfect Attorney General. Even better than the guy who lost the election to the dead guy and that chunky little Mexican–Chuey? Was that his name?

  35. Caged fighting matches. **shrug** Still more humane than dodgeball.

  36. “A high school in Dallas held cage fighting matches to settle disputes between students, and some parents are upset about this.”

    Yeah, damn right they’re upset. In Real America we settle our differences in Hell in a Cell matches!

  37. The Helvetica Scenario says at 11:05 am, March 20th, 2009

    President Madagascar! There’s a man coughing in Brazil!

    Shut. Down. EVERYTHING.

  38. Mr Blifil says at 11:08 am, March 20th, 2009

    cynbot: I would totally kick his ass in a cage match. And not in a gay way.

  39. Naked Bunny with a Whip says at 11:09 am, March 20th, 2009

    I finally figured out why the cage fights have parents upset: rigged by the Mob.

  40. Mr Blifil: So not a slap fight, is what you’re saying.

  41. AKAM80TheWolf says at 11:24 am, March 20th, 2009

    Whatever Rajoelina is not, he is a sexytime President.

  42. peachgirl says at 11:36 am, March 20th, 2009

    Rary Guppert: “Lying?” Fact, Jack!

    Madagascar has not been part of Africa for many, many years. Sure, they’re all good friends and all, but Madagascar moved out and took its pretty little primates with it. You can look it up.

  43. Lascauxcaveman says at 1:20 pm, March 20th, 2009

    cynbot: Dude looks like a Disney chipmunk.

  44. cynbot says at 1:32 pm, March 20th, 2009

    Lascauxcaveman: What, are you anti-furry? I will not tolerate intolerance!

  45. WickedWitch says at 2:50 pm, March 20th, 2009

    Eric Holder inspires tasty WaPo stories because Eric Holder is tasty. Discuss.

  46. Yes, authorized cage fighting is the best diplomatic solution. And it teaches that bullies are always right. This being Texas, why do I get the feeling the teachers solve their disputes this way, so it must be acceptable for the young’ins.

    Do they get all meth’ed up before the fightin?

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