• May 25, 2012

What Is The Boehner Talking About Now?

by Jim Newell  

Orange smoke monster John Boehner tells CNN this: “BOEHNER: Wolf, you have to understand, there was no deregulation of anything in the financial services industries. As a matter of fact, there was an increase in regulation.” Then! “What happened in all of this is that some people got creative in terms of how they could create new products — new products at different parts of the company — that were in the unregulated part of the company that caused this infection of our entire financial system.” Yes, and how do certain parts of the company become “unregulated?” [RealClearPolitics, Washington Monthly]

{ 58 comments }

Doglessliberal March 19, 2009 at 5:14 pm

But see, if a Republican says something often enough, it becomes fact.

Doglessliberal March 19, 2009 at 5:15 pm

And, is his skin actually crafted of baseball glove leather? Does he need to oil it like a glove?

Inadequate Blackmail March 19, 2009 at 5:16 pm

God, I wish Warren G and Nate Dogg would regulate this son of a bitch.

TGY March 19, 2009 at 5:17 pm

Boehner seems to be getting uppity. And, of course, it’s pronounced ‘sfAYnk-ter’.

comradepaulson March 19, 2009 at 5:17 pm

[re=269261]Doglessliberal[/re]: I’m regulating Boehner’s skin. It’s a new product that can cause infection of our whole system.

Atheist Nun March 19, 2009 at 5:18 pm

You know what would look really great ‘shopped on that picture of Boehner? A boner.

mocowbell March 19, 2009 at 5:20 pm

One would think a narcissist like Boehner would own at least one mirror…

SayItWithWookies March 19, 2009 at 5:22 pm

Also, we still haven’t tried cutting taxes. What’s up with that?

queeraselvis v 2.0 March 19, 2009 at 5:22 pm

Maybe it’s me, but when I see this picture, I can’t help but imagining Boehner having a facial meltdown.

memzilla March 19, 2009 at 5:23 pm

As long as the Repugnicans stay in their own alt-universe, we’ll be OK. Unless Boehner *isn’t* speaking from their own special reality — you know, the one where Caribou Barbie is Preznit — then it must be the drugs they are on.

Speaking of which, what is Lush Rimbaugh’s take on this?

NoWireHangers March 19, 2009 at 5:23 pm

But you see, the deregulation was not deregulating the deregulation. Understand now, you commies?

NoWireHangers March 19, 2009 at 5:24 pm

Damn, Boehner’s open mouth is sure screaming for a dick. I don’t think Blingee has dick stamps, otherwise I’d do my Wonkly duty…

BklynIlluminati March 19, 2009 at 5:26 pm

See how his eye’s are rolling up like that? Thats the puppet guy squeezing too hard.

Gopherit March 19, 2009 at 5:29 pm

[re=269268]Atheist Nun[/re]: I think a little green, some melted flesh and putrescence….boom! Instant zombie.

Jukesgrrl March 19, 2009 at 5:29 pm

I’m writing a horror feature where the Egyptian mummies in the Smithsonian arise, put on suits and ties, and have 202 seats in the House before anyone notices. Can anybody come up with a title? I’ll put you in for some cash when New Line gives me my bailout.

Roger the Shrubber March 19, 2009 at 5:30 pm

Boehner’s Contributions by Industry (opensecrets.org)

Top 5 Industries, 2007-2008

Insurance…………………..$220,525
Securities & Investment………$180,600
Pharmaceuticals/Health Products.$166,650
Lawyers/Law Firms……………$162,400
Commercial Banks…………….$150,450

bago March 19, 2009 at 5:30 pm

It’s kind of like negative numbers. The square root of negative numbers to be precise.

Zadig March 19, 2009 at 5:32 pm

[re=269283]Roger the Shrubber[/re]: Is it bad that I can’t even get mad about shit like this anymore?

Tommmcatt March 19, 2009 at 5:32 pm

[re=269261]Doglessliberal[/re]:

He must constantly kill hobos and high-school football players and absorb the derma he gets from skinning them, like that scarecrow thing in Jeepers Creepers parts 1 and 2.

Cheney gets the parts he doesn’t use.

Min March 19, 2009 at 5:32 pm

That picture doesn’t even look like a real person. That looks like one of the faux Nazis in “Raiders of the Lost Ark”, right before their faces melted off.

Lascauxcaveman March 19, 2009 at 5:35 pm

[re=269274]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Everytime I see that picture the soundtrack in my head switches to The Replacements song “Gary’s Got A Boner.”

Which is kinda awesome.

JadedDIssonance March 19, 2009 at 5:36 pm

Too Much Irony, Not Enough Time.

He killed my Boehner.

WadISay March 19, 2009 at 5:38 pm

(*yawn*) Here’s the deal: truth is an utterly subjective and plastic concept to these people, and they lie like fucking rugs. Wake me if he ever has a chance to say this under penalty of perjury, in which case he won’t be able to recall.

frumious_bandersnatch March 19, 2009 at 5:38 pm

He really does look like a suited slice of toasted spam with eyes. But that’s not the only reason I want to douse him with mayonnaise and feed him to a starving third-world family.

Roger the Shrubber March 19, 2009 at 5:39 pm

[re=269282]Jukesgrrl[/re]: “Turning Point: The Golden Age of Democracy in the House of Representatives.”

dougbob March 19, 2009 at 5:48 pm

No deregulation? damn, I want some what he’s smoking! maybe my job and my 401k will come back.

SayItWithWookies March 19, 2009 at 5:49 pm

[re=269282]Jukesgrrl[/re]: “The Caucus of the Living Dead,” or maybe “Mr. Amonhotep Goes to Washington.”

miss_emish March 19, 2009 at 5:50 pm

soooooo we had more regulation except in the parts that avoided the regulations? fuckin’ brilliant, this guy.

The Cold Sea March 19, 2009 at 5:56 pm

Orange smoke monster. Perfect.

Canuckledragger March 19, 2009 at 5:57 pm

Yes, and how do certain parts of the company become “unregulated?”

Garlic & a crucifix.

Blends in well with pitchforks and torches.

cranky March 19, 2009 at 6:01 pm

[re=269282]Jukesgrrl[/re]: bwahahahaha

cranky March 19, 2009 at 6:04 pm

translation: don’t say we fucked it up, when the truth is we never even tried to get it right!

shortsshortsshorts March 19, 2009 at 6:09 pm

Read:
“I am an ass-clown.”

MarieDeGournay March 19, 2009 at 6:11 pm

[re=269282]Jukesgrrl[/re]: “Curse of the Flesh Eating Commerce Committee.”

JadedDIssonance March 19, 2009 at 6:15 pm

[re=269293]frumious_bandersnatch[/re]: I thought you said he looks like a suited slice of toasted sperm

frumious_bandersnatch March 19, 2009 at 6:26 pm

[re=269331]JadedDIssonance[/re]: No, but you’ve definitely inspired my next art project.

Atheist Nun March 19, 2009 at 6:47 pm

[re=269277]NoWireHangers[/re]: I might lose my blingee account over this, but if I do, it was totally worth it!

http://blingee.com/blingee/view/86392437-John-Boehner

AKAM80TheWolf March 19, 2009 at 6:47 pm

[re=269277]NoWireHangers[/re]:

It’s actually screaming for a dick because Hastert is trying to open his joint session of congress.

Lascauxcaveman March 19, 2009 at 6:56 pm

[re=269367]Atheist Nun[/re]: Well that’s pretty sick.

(I laughed)

Gopherit March 19, 2009 at 7:00 pm

[re=269367]Atheist Nun[/re]: The wonketteers are pummeling the site! I can’t see it!!!

Atheist Nun March 19, 2009 at 7:04 pm

[re=269382]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: What? He’s just having a little post-voting refreshment! Your mind is in the gutter!
[re=269387]Gopherit[/re]: Keep trying, you’ll see starbursts!

Holding Out for a Hero March 19, 2009 at 7:11 pm

[re=269305]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Will you marry me? Or at least let me have my way with you?

CaliforniaMike March 19, 2009 at 7:13 pm

Republicans never met a regulation they liked, unless it’s regulating teh gay.

But what will be so cool is when Hopey undoes everything Reagan and Dubya did. It’ll be like Newt, Boehner and Rush pushed the rock almost to the top of the hill and then it rolled all the way back down.

Bible Spice and Exorcist Piyush will save the GOP.

trondant March 19, 2009 at 7:20 pm

[re=269392]Atheist Nun[/re]: Hahahahaha WIN

ph7 March 19, 2009 at 7:20 pm

Boehner’s lungs would love to be unregulated from his mouth.

Vulpes82 March 19, 2009 at 7:27 pm

The ghost of Dennis Hastert seems to be haunting Mr. Boehner. Scary!

hobospacejungle March 19, 2009 at 7:31 pm

[re=269367]Atheist Nun[/re]: Wunderbar!

[re=269282]Jukesgrrl[/re]: Zombie Bukkake Party

on Boner’s face. Everybody’s coming.

Zorg March 19, 2009 at 8:46 pm

Can’t we citizens of the 21st Century finally discover the place where Boehners go to die?

OzoneTom March 19, 2009 at 9:34 pm

How long before some interviewer calls these jackasses on statements like “there was no deregulation of anything in the financial services industries”?

Probably never. That’s why Jon Stewart could never be a REAL journalist.

Not to mention anyone associated with Wonkette. Also.

kbanginmotown March 19, 2009 at 11:14 pm

Is that Boehner’s O-face?

donner_froh March 19, 2009 at 11:36 pm

[re=269367]Atheist Nun[/re]: + One Thousand

NoWireHangers March 20, 2009 at 12:15 am

[re=269367]Atheist Nun[/re]: I’m REALLY laughing hard right now! Out old! God, I’m happy I checked back on this thread. There’s a little tear for you in the corner of my eye. God, I’m coughing now! It’s the champagne bottle! THE CHAMPAGNE BOTTLE!

davesnothere March 20, 2009 at 12:40 am

[re=269506]kbanginmotown[/re]: Yes, the Boner shows O-face as Denny Hastert, taking advantage of a tragically rare opportunity, slips him the “pork”

Hagar77 March 20, 2009 at 1:00 am

[re=269282]Jukesgrrl[/re]: I really feel like that’s more Lion’s Gate.

JDHART March 20, 2009 at 7:49 am

I think they deregulated the Spray Tan Department.

zhubajie March 20, 2009 at 10:34 am

It’s pronounced “Bayner.” I know because I was unfortunate enough to live in southern Ohio for 11 years. Remember the Savings & Loan scandal? Keating was in Boehner’s district.

Ohio Repubs are incredibly sleazy, even for Republicans. I was represented by Donald “Buzz” Lukens, who was convicted of f’ing a 13 year old black girl. His defense: he did it, but it wasn’t wrong for HIM. He was convicted, of course, and sentence to 90 DAYS in prison. He got out after 30, by promising to go to a sex rehab clinic in DC. Last I knew, he was in Texas, and undoubtedly having fun with young’uns in Mexico.

Zhu Bajie

TGY March 20, 2009 at 11:19 am

Haha, BEE-nus. Haha!

Atheist Nun March 20, 2009 at 4:26 pm

[re=269517]NoWireHangers[/re]: hahaha… that’s one suggestive phallic champagne bottle! I didn’t even have to upload that shit!

[re=269510]donner_froh[/re]: [re=269421]hobospacejungle[/re]: [re=269414]trondant[/re]: cheers!

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