Republican Congressman Steve LaTourette today: “Ross Perot, when he ran for president in 1992, talked about the giant sucking sound. Well, today there’s another giant sucking sound going on in Washington, D.C. And that’s the tightening of sphincters on both ends of Pennsylvania Avenue as people are having to explain who put into the stimulus bill this provision of law.” Really now… come on. You can’t just go saying stuff like that. [Plain Dealer]
GROSS
March 19, 2009
Congressman Describes Sound Of ‘Tightening Sphincters’ In Inappropriate Speech
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You’ve got to love a guy who talks about teh sphincter on the floor of Congress. Might be a first.
Tit sucking and tight sphincters? Being in congress is everything I dreamed it would be.
The guy’s name is LaTourette. He should have just said “assholes.”
His name should explain it all.
Will the gentleman yield to the Senator from Idaho?
This is following the tit-sucking comments? D.C. IS FINALLY AN HONEST PLACE TO RESIDE.
Sphincters and Repugs go together like Young Boys and Repugs.
[re=269153]WadISay[/re]: He’s a former senator, but his stance is as wide as ever.
I bet he and Chuck titty-suckin’ Grassley go to, um, “lifestyle” parties together. Yummy.
[re=269147]CaliforniaMike[/re]: Ohhhhhhhhhhh, “fiRst”……
[re=269151]FMA[/re]: I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he was referring to the pyloric sphincter.
No way this guy’s name is La Tourette. Ring job, ring job. Damn. Trailer Park Cunt.
Republicans are a national treasure.
Today we are all bible-thumping GOPs, fingerblasting that page’s touchhole, but only to hear the sound of ross perot fellatio for a speech, or because we’re in the closet, ima get my ball gag.
Bets on who now starts talking about the Vagina or the CockandBalls? Call me crazy, but I do believe this is Ron Paul territory here.
He’s going against his party. R’s usually work to loosen sphincters.
Republican lawmakers spend more time thinking about anuses than proctologists.
There aren’t any Republicans left with tight sphincters, except the women.
This is the social conservative moron who voted for impeachment, but got caught by his wife in 2003 when he was having an affair with a staffer. (His wife then put big campaign posters all over her house for the person running against him in 2004. Sadly, didn’t work.) He is now married to the former staffer, and she is a big time lobbyist. They are all frigging hypocrites.
Oh, why not one more:
LaTourette Syndrome?
Pennsylvania Avenue has sphincters on both ends? Like upper the esophageal sphincter and external anal sphincter?
That’s one big tract…
[re=269165]comradepaulson[/re]: He IS a vagina expert.
Rep. LaTourette please shut your godamned oral sphincter.
Anatomy Day at Wonkette!
[re=269162]Custerwolf[/re]: Or maybe the pupillary sphincter.
do we have a bunch of proctology school dropouts here?
Has he twatted?
Can someone please set this to music, so’s I can whistle a little Repug tune to “tits and sphincters, Santorum and splinters…”
I got news for Stevie. That ain’t a sucking sound.
[re=269182]Come here a minute[/re]: Oly fake Republicans twat — real Republicans sphincter. Abstinent Republicans only asymptotically approach sphinctering.
[re=269169]Doglessliberal[/re]: He also promised to only run for x number of terms and broke that promise. Of course I think he only won his seat because he became locally famous for prosecuting the Kirtland cult killings.
There’s really just nothing to say about a dude named LaTourette talking about ‘tightening sphincters’ on the House floor.
I suppose it would have been less trite to say, “Penises are shriveling into their body cavities.”
[re=269202]springfield_meltdown[/re]: Oh I love when they do that. “Well, term limits are a good idea for other people, but see, I have so much left to do…..”
Ass wipe.
I got all excited when I saw the is article. “Yeah!! I got a good one! LaTourettes Syndrome!! Bet I’ll be the first one!!!”
…not…
Oh my GOD that is so disgusting. I can’t believe he quoted Ross Perot! Doesn’t CSPAN have a profanity filter or a two second delay or something, so people won’t have to hear profanity like that?
It saddens and disgusts me that this twat has a legitimate point. Fuck you Chris Dodd. May you and your loose sphincter get crabs again.
[re=269169]Doglessliberal[/re]: So, he ran again to spend less time with his family–how refreshing.
Great. Steve LaSphincter.
The sound of his voice alone makes my butt squinch.
[re=269240]widestanceromancer[/re]: win!
I’ve heard entirely too much discussion of Timothy Geithner’s dick and sphincter.
[re=269246]Capricatony[/re]: The only guy with a sphincter that covers the entire length of Pennsylvania Avenue is Mark Penn.
You gotta admit, noone knows their sphincters like the GOP … oh, & keep both hands where I can see ‘em, LaTourette!
Perhaps before President Obama wades into the AIG mess, this fine fellow can lend him one of his wetsuits.
And that’s the tightening of sphincters on both ends of Pennsylvania Avenue
•••LOL•WUT?!?•••
Politics is like a Pushmi-pullyu with 2 assholes instead of 2 heads?
Oh, and republicant’s? Enough with the ass-obsession already. Please keep your paraphilia to yourselves and just try to focus on doing your jobs, losers.
We all live in Painesville these days.
If we measure sphincter pressures in pounds per square inch, then we can finger the culprit.
LaTourette? “Sphincter?”
“These are the times that try men’s assholes.” Fuck Tom Paine. Also.
[re=269280]stopmebeforeitypeagain[/re]: FTW.
Wait, he’s describing some kind of unprecedented… rectal vaccuum? This sounds messy.
First tit-sucking, now ass-sucking… is no one in Congress getting laid anymore?
[re=269378]AxmxZ[/re]: Anymore?
I thought that Sphincter was the character played by Eddie Deezen in the Pirro 8mm classic “A Polish Vampire in Burbank”.
Tight? I didn’t even know that he was a drinker.
Rush Limbaugh’s sphincter can reach both ends of Pennsylvania Avenue by itself.
Ken Layne: “Newell, you remember back when we got lots of traffic? Remember how the people loved the ‘ass fucking’ tag?”
Jim Newell: “Yessir, I do.”
Ken Layne: “Well, now that I don’t have to answer to anyone wanting me to get ‘traffic’ or ‘pageviews’ on my website, I want you to stop using every popular meme that Wonkette was known for, because I’m a bearded contrarian who will let you know it at every turn, despite the fact that my website still claims to be ‘The DC Gossip’. Got it? I want to be as obscure and hateful as possible at all times.
“Just take a look at our traffic over the past 16 months. I want you to continue that trend, and anyone who argues otherwise is a fartsack.”
Man, this guy’s mind turns to thoughts of stimulus and putting it in, and he imagines he can hear sphincters tightening. That is some level of repression. You can just see uptight written over the poor guy’s face. He’s just suffering for no reason at all. If he learned to accept himself as he is, I bet Wonkette would still be his friend. Just ’cause your notions of sexytime are offbeat, doesn’t make ‘em wrong, Steve-o.
Literate Wonkette fans (I know, I know – that’s an oxymoron) will have noticed the the Congressman was simply making an homage to an infamous statement of Alexander Haig’s on the day Reagan was shot. It is overshadowed by his more infamous statement “I am in charge here.”
well, he IS from Painsville.
He seems somewhat obsessed with that area of the anatomy, he also talks about Adam and Eve’s “expulsion”.
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