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PONZI SCHEMES

House Approves 90% Tax On AIG Bonuses

Should 5% appear too small, be thankful I don't take it all ....This will learn ‘em good: The House of Representatives just passed this “tax those fancy stockjobbers at the 90% rate” legislation, which means the federal money used to pay off these bailout bitches will now be taxed at 90% — if the bonus-getter’s income is over $250,000, so Joe the Plumber is still safe from socialism — which means the money will be filtered through these people who destroyed the Global Economy (with the permission of Alan Greenspan and Reagan’s Ghost) for a !0% commission. So if your bonus for ruining Earth was, say, a million bucks this month, at least you’ll still have a $100,000 left over for cocaine.

Amusingly, many Republicans voted for this thing — it passed 328-93 — despite the House GOP leaders whining about it and swearing the Republicans would fight it, AIG derivatives traders are America’s only heroes, go Galt, Rush Limbaugh, etc.

This is all a puppet show, of course, and it probably won’t ever make it through the Senate in anything resembling this version, and 90% of Americans are still poor as church mice. [Washington Post/Marketwatch]


3:09 PM on Thu March 19 2009
By Ken Layne
2959 Views

  1. Lascauxcaveman says at 3:12 pm, March 19th, 2009

    Taxman!

  2. Citizen Kang says at 3:12 pm, March 19th, 2009

    Is the 10% remaining going to be chewed up by local taxes? Is that the reasoning behind 90 as opposed to 100 percent? If not, then I’m going to be rioting in the streets. If they get so much as a penny I’m going kick a puppy!

  3. Does this mean that octo-mom has to drown 90% of her babies?

  4. queeraselvis v 2.0 says at 3:14 pm, March 19th, 2009

    Next stop for those AIG bastards: the gallows. Hang ‘em high!

  5. shanemacgowan says at 3:15 pm, March 19th, 2009

    Rick Santelli will set himself on fire to protest this outrage.

  6. friendlyskies says at 3:19 pm, March 19th, 2009

    Wow, Che Guevara T-shirts for *everyone.* Now, can we vote a 90% tax on the kickbacks they get from lobbyists, too? Not that any of them bother to pay taxes.

    Oh, and a 90% tax on everything earned from the Iraq War by people who make $250K+, too. Cheney’s friends would be so pissed.

  7. Gallowglass says at 3:21 pm, March 19th, 2009

    I think its an excise tax, like the Wyden-Snowe Amendment would have put in place. They still have to pay regular taxes on the remaining 10%. So if they got a million, and make more than $250,000, which I think would put them in the 50% bracket, they lose another $50,000. Plus FICA, state and local taxes. So in the end they still get more than I make in a year at my actual productive job.

    Also did anyone else notice that to qualify for this “punitive tax” your company has to have received $5 billion in bailout money? WTF. They should hit everyone who got so much a buffalo head nickel from the Feds.

  8. Mahousu says at 3:21 pm, March 19th, 2009

    Crab1: Only if she has 250 or more.

  9. SayItWithWookies says at 3:22 pm, March 19th, 2009

    Amusingly, most Republicans voted for this thing.
    Republicans vote to punish rich people who steal? Someone do me a favor and see if Jesus is floating around outside sucking the faithful up to heaven — I’m too scared to look.

  10. freakishlystrong says at 3:24 pm, March 19th, 2009

    Strike a Pose, you can do it; Vogue! Whadda show, conviently timed outrage. Who cares about the Red Cross Torture Report? This is NEWS!

  11. angryhippopotamus says at 3:25 pm, March 19th, 2009

    Not that I usually care about such things, but what do we think the Dead Weight Loss of Taxing–>Distributing to banks–>REtaxing–>redistributing is?

  12. Still no excuse for handing out bail-out checks like candy. And I have to wonder if there’s an equal treatment under the law issue here.

  13. StephanieInCA says at 3:27 pm, March 19th, 2009

    I am going to beat somebody to death with that idiot Rand book I swear to god also.

  14. jagorev says at 3:28 pm, March 19th, 2009

    I think it’s only retroactive to the beginning of the year? So the criminals at Merrill who were paid in December get off scot-free.

  15. Hooray For Anything says at 3:28 pm, March 19th, 2009

    But how will AIG be able to recruit anybody to work for their company and further destroy the economy if they can’t give them huge bonuses for doing so?

  16. Lascauxcaveman says at 3:31 pm, March 19th, 2009

    shanemacgowan: I hope it’s on Pay Per View.

  17. shortsshortsshorts says at 3:32 pm, March 19th, 2009
  18. shanemacgowan says at 3:35 pm, March 19th, 2009

    shortsshortsshorts: If he actually goes through with it, we all win.

  19. Mista Eko says at 3:36 pm, March 19th, 2009

    Epic fail. A whole hell of a lot of traders have salaries of about 50 - 100K with the understanding that they are guaranteed a kajillion times that salary for a bonus. Certainly true for commodities traders. Even more true for proprietary traders - the dozen guys in front of computers trading every few minutes doing nothing but removing liquidity from the markets. Probably true for the derivatives traders that really stuck their dick in the mashed potatoes.

    So instead of telling the fuckwads that we’re OK with you skimming 10% of the bailout money off the top, we just taxed the hell out of a few middle management shmucks in sales or R&D who take home some 5-figure bonus.

    Meanwhile us engineers who spent a king’s ransom to get good degrees revolving around building green infrastructure will never see a six figure salary before 40. And we’re being laid off.

    There are predator drone mistargetings that pale in comparison to this. Fuck it, I’m billing to some BS project number and going home.

  20. WadISay says at 3:36 pm, March 19th, 2009

    shanemacgowan: His arse is already aflame.

  21. smashtheduck says at 3:38 pm, March 19th, 2009

    Their dealers won’t be too happy about all that coke they let ‘em have on credit. Hooray for knee-capping.

  22. Mista Eko says at 3:40 pm, March 19th, 2009

    Also Ken, you wrote it out as “!0%”, but I think it’s more appropriate that way.

  23. Hooray For Anything says at 3:40 pm, March 19th, 2009

    shanemacgowan: I, for one, will hold a viewing party to watch that. I would say I’ll have lots of pizza and beer for the party but I can’t afford pizza and beer.

  24. comradepaulson says at 3:42 pm, March 19th, 2009

    This will not end well, I’m afraid. You don’t get anything by getting these cocksuckers enraged. We only have pitchforks; they have the world economy by the balls. Us Dirty Fucking Hippies have been warning about this shit for decades, but hey, Broder and Co. were more worried about the Clenis and his intern. Priorities, man, priorities.

    freakishlystrong: Amen, brother, amen.

  25. Come here a minute says at 3:49 pm, March 19th, 2009

    I saw a film today oh, boy
    The bonus army had just won the war

  26. dougbob says at 3:53 pm, March 19th, 2009

    quick! get their names! we’ve got republicans voting for tax increases. the video will come in mighty handy later on…..

  27. Not_So_Much says at 4:01 pm, March 19th, 2009

    shanemacgowan: God, I hope so. I’ll send matches.

  28. comradepaulson says at 4:06 pm, March 19th, 2009

    Not_So_Much: I’ll pitch in for some nice kindling. Maybe back issues of the National Review?

  29. AnnieGetYourFun says at 4:13 pm, March 19th, 2009

    SayItWithWookies: Let me fix that for you: “Republicans vote to do the most politically expedient thing even though it runs against everything they believe in.”

    There. Armageddon averted.

  30. wickedlittledoll says at 4:36 pm, March 19th, 2009
  31. hobospacejungle says at 5:21 pm, March 19th, 2009

    Mista Eko: Even more true for proprietary traders - the dozen guys in front of computers trading every few minutes doing nothing but removing liquidity from the markets.

    So they basically make money by exploiting the minute differences between currencies at any given moment, creating absolutely nothing of worth in the process, merely removing cash from the markets which might otherwise go toward something productive.

    So fuck ‘em and fuck their bonii.

  32. Jukesgrrl says at 5:54 pm, March 19th, 2009

    Supreme Ginsburg says, “I’ll have to get out of my sick bed for this?!”

  33. chascates says at 5:57 pm, March 19th, 2009

    Grover Norquist is very much against this so there may be some blowback for the GOP who voted for this thing. You have to suck up to Rush & Norquist but then the voters are pissed too.

  34. Vewol Mevemont says at 6:21 pm, March 19th, 2009

    hobospacejungle: Eh, that isn’t exactly how it works. First of all, “proprietary traders” aren’t the same as “currency traders.” And even the currency traders do serve a useful function by fostering liquidity in currency markets (makes it easier to exchange with lower transactions costs), permitting currency hedges and swaps (no, not all swaps and hedges are evil — some are necessary to reduce currency-based risks for multinationals), etc.

    Nonetheless, Eko doesn’t make a compelling point here. First, this bill only applies to a few financial institutions. Second, it only applies to people earning over $250K, so it’s hard to imagine that this captures a lot of low-level grunts. Specifically, the people Eko is describing (sounds like floor brokers) can expect a median compensation of about $150K — not bad, but not enough to trigger this tax.

    Dick joke, buttsecks, truck nutz!

  35. Neon Trotsky says at 6:30 pm, March 19th, 2009

    HOW DARE THE GOVERNMENT TAX THE MONEY IT IS GIVING AWAY TO BANKS!!!1!1

  36. Does anyone care if this tax is constitutional or not?

  37. “Mista Eko: Even more true for proprietary traders - the dozen guys in front of computers trading every few minutes doing nothing but removing liquidity from the markets.

    So they basically make money by exploiting the minute differences between currencies at any given moment, creating absolutely nothing of worth in the process, merely removing cash from the markets which might otherwise go toward something productive.”

    From Investopedia.com:
    “What Does Liquidity Mean?
    1. The degree to which an asset or security can be bought or sold in the market without affecting the asset’s price. Liquidity is characterized by a high level of trading activity. Assets that can by easily bought or sold, are known as liquid assets.”

    Trading every few minutes adds liquidity to markets, it doesn’t remove it. The more people trading a market, the more liquid it becomes. If they are providing liquidity to markets, which is an essential quality of a healthy market, how are they not being productive?

  38. hobospacejungle says at 7:18 pm, March 19th, 2009

    rk: Vewol Mevemont: Thanks for clearing that up.

    I still want to test out this new pitchfork and see if these old torches are working, though.

  39. Mr. Spanky says at 7:35 pm, March 19th, 2009

    hobospacejungle: Provided it leads to tar and feathers for the AIG bunch!

    Ummm…..I’m sorry guys. Where’s my bonus and/or bailout?

    I just had to fork over $700+ to a plumber thanks to a tree deciding to tap its roots into my pipes!

    Help!

  40. Caitifty says at 7:47 pm, March 19th, 2009

    It’s 90% not 100% because that seems to be about the limit before some fancy-pants “Supreme Court” says it’s a bill of attainder (ie an act of government which essentially declares a group of people guilty of a crime and punishes them without benefit of a trial - like, say, declaring people who work for AIG to be guilty of being economy-destroying retards and punishing them by taking 100% of their moneys without bothering with a trial). Which, alas for the cause of entertainment in this fine country, is forbidden by Article I, section 9, clause 3 of the constitution.

  41. groove says at 8:03 pm, March 19th, 2009

    So, yay, everyone suddenly grows a conscience and does the honorable thing by working for $1/year.

    Such fail from the fine folks in the government.

  42. rocktonsammy says at 9:56 pm, March 19th, 2009

    My next job, I will stipulate that I’d rather have 4 blow jobs instead of money.

    There, I said it.

  43. gliberal says at 10:28 pm, March 19th, 2009

    Has Eric Cantor decided which way to vote yet?

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