what the elitists are up to

Special Conversation Shows What Goes On Inside Secret Leftist Cabal Chatroom

Yesterday the Politico — and fine, here is your precious LINK, Calderone! — revealed to the world the Secret Leftist Cabal Chatroom where policy experts talk to bloggers off-the-record and tell them what to write on their blogs. Its Master is young communist health care blogger Ezra Klein, who decided to bring these people together in secrecy after discovering that Twitter was probably not the safest outlet for such secret secrecy. It is the most major Conspiracy in Washington right now, and RedState is hot on the case. So what goes on inside the “JournoList”?

Your Wonkette has asked many Members of JournoList to simply give us their passwords or whatever so we can copy-paste stuff, for hilarity. They are being annoying about it, though, and do not want to risk destroying the whole system of erudite interaction over one comical breach. That would be so great though! Besides, they can always e-mail each other privately, good lord…

One member tells us that there is definitely some funny stuff on it, while another political writer says, “I’ve read a fair amount of stuff from it, which helped me decide I did not want to be on it,” but because it was so boring. The things, the things this person must have seen!

Another responds, “I’d do anything for love but I can’t do that,” referencing the popular song about how keeping one’s JournoList password private is more important than the human act of love.

So someone out there on the JournoList who wants to help us get on this thing, please e-mail us your fucking password or whatever and we’ll sell you an intern below slave market value.

We imagine it to be something like this:

E. ALTERMAN: I’ve just finished reading this intriguing look at state-managed health care reform: http://tinyurl.com/3983098

J-KLO: Fuck you and your rickrolls Eric.

E. ALTERMAN: No it’s real I swear it’s just a really long URL.

E. ALTERMAN: There’s a limit to how long the URL can be … like Twitter.

BETTER THAN EZRA: Goddammit ….

YGLESIAS DA CONQUEROR: I’m going to the gym. If anybody has any ideas for that work-fare piece, let me know. I will be back soon with arms like Michelle Obama.

KRUG-MAGNON: Even Mickey Kaus would fuck you then!

J-KLO: Gross!

KRUG-MAGNON: Does anyone else kind of miss Hillary…?

BETTER THAN EZRA: Let’s get things back on topic, guys.

PERETZ HILTON: I run this, now.

BETTER THAN EZRA: Not funny Marty.

Obligatory JournoList Post [Ezra Klein]
JournoList: Inside the echo chamber [Politico]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell
What Others Are Reading

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

44 comments

  1. chascates

    So there is a vast, left-wing conspiracy? But no liberals can actually agree on anything!!

  2. bitchincamaro

    KO pretty much put kibosh on this one, last night. Of course, that’s like pouring NASCAR fuel on the neighborhood BBQ.

  3. Gopherit

    [re=268474]Jim Newell[/re]: Bitches probably steal their material from the wonkette chat anyway.

  4. SayItWithWookies

    As for sinister implications, is it “secret?” No. Is it off-the-record? Yes. The point is to create a space where experts feel comfortable offering informal analysis and testing out ideas.

    Jeeze — why don’t they just test out ideas on AOL Political Machine like normal intellectuals?

  5. ManchuCandidate

    Yes RedStaters, it’s all a fucking conspiracy. I’ve infiltrated these libtard ranks (see my screen name) and now I can tell you everything.

    Larry Craig? He’s not really gay, seriously. He was set up by teh Pink Mafia as payback for the time he sang in the Senate Barbershop Quartet.

    David Vitter? Another victim of the evil blogospiracy! He’s not a diaper hooker freak at all. The Masons and Illuminate drugged him and took photos of him wearing pampers.

    Iraq? All those pictures of dead Iraqis? Actors. The whole fucking lot of them. Ever wondered where the cast of Frazier went? That’s why all the kids look like Eddie the Dog and the women look like tinted Roz and Daphne. They lied. Here is a photo from the real Iraq:

    http://www.ourfamilyadventure.com/road_trip/disney_main_street-thumb.jpg

    The economy? Holy shit! This ‘downturn’ was made to make Bush The Greatest look bad and elect a Muslin Terrorist.

    And Palin. You guys were duped. Here is a photo of the real Sarah Palin.

    http://knitti-me.blogspot.com/Salt%20Monster.jpg

    The truth is out there RedStaters! The Truth IS OUT THERE!!!!

  6. Min

    Oh, please. If liberals could agree to stay on the friggin’ message, George W. Bush would never have been elected president.

  7. Gopherit

    [re=268483]ManchuCandidate[/re]: The best part? Redstaters think libs can organize something more complicated than a beach party. Even those take too many goddamn sternly worded memos to plan.

    Nope, you guys are losing because you’re just pathetic bastards. Nao comspeercie heer.

  8. cranky

    so the conspiracy is that some lefties get together and have a private conversation about work?

  9. BillyClubb

    [re=268486]comradepaulson[/re]: “…legalize tah weed”, that’s all you want? Call me when there’s a chance we can legalize hookers and blow.

  10. qwerty42

    so is this secret cabal involved with the President’s basketball gambling as well? This is the kind of hard-hitting stuff we’ve come to expect from our wingnuts. Does the cabal support Truck Nutz? Has Red State explored that?

  11. Kabanx

    Here’s a question for the gays/ladies. Ezra Klein: Would you hit it?

    I say yes, unless Nate Silver is available.

  12. comradepaulson

    [re=268503]Kabanx[/re]: Yes. And I believe he would not run away shrieking from my spilling, chunky titties, unlike some political wunderkinds out there.

  13. Canuckledragger

    Erik and co. have spent too long huffing each other’s passed gas. I notice they don’t admit THAT in public. Must be some kinda cabal.

    Wish I could give a shit. Wish others didn’t.

  14. Tra

    [re=268493]cranky[/re]: We’re not really good at conspiracies, per se.

    And, ahem. “… or ACORN!”

  15. NoWireHangers

    This whole secret bloggers room to discuss blogging ideas thing sounds slightly less dangerous and detrimental to the fabric of our society than the writers room for Two and a Half Men.

  16. Tra

    [re=268512]NoWireHangers[/re]: This whole secret bloggers room to discuss blogging ideas thing sounds slightly less dangerous and detrimental to the fabric of our society than the writers room for Two and a Half Men.

    How can you say that, not knowing whether any of these people have teleprompters?

  17. shortsshortsshorts

    And when you get that UN and PW you must post it on Wonkette, for justice’s sake.

  18. Bruno

    Unless I’ve seen their birth certificates, how can I be assured of where the information comes from.

  19. kersy

    Sounds no different than my google groups, except they tend to be about dnd and nerdshittery, not liberal journalism.

  20. cranky

    [re=268509]Tra[/re]: yes, but i’ve been relying on their being good at the CRAZY. i need them to start making better accusations, i want to hear more about the FEMA camps or whatever.

    it’s damn death match and they are accusing us of drinking coffee together: try harder you freaks!

  21. jagorev

    Wait, Ezra Klein didn’t invite the editors of the BEST LIBERAL BLOG to join his circle-jerk? I say we launch a WAR. Just say the word, Jim.

  22. jagorev

    Just remember ladies/gays – Ezra Klein’s pillow-talk will be mostly about the need for single-payer universal health insurance. He’ll make you wish you were masticating on Douthat’s neckbeard.

  23. Zorg

    Ezra! We can pay for healthcare by using the RICO Act on the Repugs and seizing all of their assets. Piece of cake, if you ask me. But, Ezra, you twatwaffle, you never do…

  24. lulzmonger

    Online DFH girl-talk = nefarious hidden conspiracy!

    A left-wing cabal? Oh, if only it were true.

  25. Mahousu

    Wait, I just read the Politico article, and it’s all a big scam. It’s not hard to get on JList at all. Try it yourself – all you have to do is click the “Yes, I’m over 18″ button. (Don’t worry, these guys are liberals, so of course they’re not checking your birth certificate.)

    The content was a little different from what I was expecting, but it does make clear why the journalists want to keep it off the record.

  26. Mahousu

    Whoa, I also just discovered the tinyURL above was unused. I decided not to abuse the opportunity this presented.

  27. Botswana Meat Commission FC

    Another responds, “I’d do anything for love but I can’t do that,” referencing the popular song about how keeping one’s JournoList password private is more important than the human act of love.

    Answers like that should get a person beaten with a Bat out of Hell.

  28. Gorillionaire

    [re=268503]Kabanx[/re]: Ezra played football in school. He is no wimp. Would probably scare the shit out of your average Red Stater just by walking into the room and saying “hey, where’s the single payer health care?”

  29. Kabanx

    [re=268870]Gorillionaire[/re]: Really? He doesn’t look that bulky. On further Google image search, I would totally take him over Nate Silver, though.

  30. finland

    while krug-magnon is admittedly quite inventive, i believe the correct nomenclature is k’thrugman guh.

    in non-related news, i wish i could be on a mailing list with certain bearded and reassuring nytimes econobists. /dreamysigh. no mustaches allowed of course.

  31. loupgarou

    What’s sad is, from what I’ve seen of RedState, the denizens are less cracked-out than Freepers. Post a few fake pieces about cancelling all future elections now that we’ve got our demoncommie A team in office, and they’ll soil themselves. Well, even more than usual.

Comments are closed.