HA HA  5:10 pm March 18, 2009

Dictionary Redefines Marriage, For The Gays

by Jim Newell

You know how the Gays are always trying to get married, for the sole purpose of ruining your hetero marriage? Well now one dictionary says they can. BURN IT.

This is a major setback for the queer-haters: the Merriam-Webster dictionary has added a second definition for “marriage” that reads, “the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage.”

Because anti-gay-marriage people would always like to say, lazily, that, “You can’t just change the definition of a word like that.” But hey look at this — you apparently can!

And now the WorldNetDaily is in a gay hissy fit, and etymological experts from around the globe are chiming in there:

“I was shocked to see that Merriam-Webster changed their definition of the word ‘marriage,’ a word which has referred exclusively to a contract between a man and a woman for centuries. It has now added same sex,” YouTube user Eric B. noted to WND.

“The 1992 Webster’s Dictionary does not mention same sex at all,” he wrote. [...]

One commenter on the YouTube site said it’s just part of the campaign by homosexual activists to take control of the definition of the word and make it align with their goals.

Is this particular YouTube comment thread the secret location of the JournoList?

Webster’s dictionary redefines ‘marriage’ [WorldNetDaily]

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mdotsota March 18, 2009 at 5:14 pm

Have those ACORNS at Merriam-Webster changed their definition of “Muslin” yet?

jagorev March 18, 2009 at 5:15 pm

I kind of love how WorldNetDaily had to find a YouTube video of the definition, because obviously YouTube is the only place where you could find pages from the Merriam Webster. No way could you just have a hyperlink going to:


Mighty Rex March 18, 2009 at 5:16 pm

Words change all the time. See, for instance, “gay”.

NoWireHangers March 18, 2009 at 5:17 pm

Hmmmmm, wingnuts. Gay marriage was LEGAL in Cali and you didn’t like that so you created a proposition to CHANGE THE LAW.


shortsshortsshorts March 18, 2009 at 5:17 pm

Marriam-Webster makes clear its position on Prop 8— that the Prop bans all marriage.
Sounds good to me.

NoWireHangers March 18, 2009 at 5:18 pm

[re=268395]jagorev[/re]: There ain’t no comments section in the dictionary. Well, at least not yet.

NoWireHangers March 18, 2009 at 5:18 pm

[re=268397]Mighty Rex[/re]: Or “santorum”

bfstevie@yahoo.com March 18, 2009 at 5:18 pm

Nothing says “courage of your convictions” like publishing something which espouses your political or social position and then not putting your name on it. The Family Research Council spews out some pretty outrageous shit, but at least they identify where it’s coming from. Also.

DustBowlBlues March 18, 2009 at 5:18 pm

The music sounds like this is about suffering of puppies and kittens, something that matters. But this? WTF do they want people to do about it, anyway?

This sounds like Requiem for Civilization As the Wingnuts Want It.

nrkeyqueer March 18, 2009 at 5:19 pm


Merriam-Webster makes changes in definition based on common usage. If you want to change the definition you gotta get all those monogamous couples to call themselves something else.

Personally, I’m pushing for the state and federal government to start recognizing my relationship with my fuckbuddies. But, ya know…baby steps.

51dimes March 18, 2009 at 5:19 pm

This assault on our language will not stand Merriam-Webster. Next thing you know they’ll be ADDING words. Also.

chascates March 18, 2009 at 5:20 pm

So Websters changed the definition of marriage by simply writing a new definition? Dictionaries can DO that?
So ‘gay’ means something other than ‘keenly alive and exuberant’?

Larry Fine March 18, 2009 at 5:21 pm

The dictionary will also ban the word “sodomy”.

ewilliams March 18, 2009 at 5:22 pm

[re=268395]jagorev[/re]: If they listed a link we would have missed out on all that fancy camera work. It just wouldn’t have had the same effect.

loquaciousmusic March 18, 2009 at 5:22 pm

When will “Jesus goblin” be in the dictionary? Inquiring minds want to know.

Min March 18, 2009 at 5:22 pm

Well, duh. Merriam and Webster were both guys.

Fox n Fiends March 18, 2009 at 5:22 pm


SayItWithWookies March 18, 2009 at 5:23 pm

Holy shit! I just looked in the Bible and it says “Adam and Steve!

AxmxZ March 18, 2009 at 5:27 pm

[re=268421]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I looked a bit further in the Bible, and all those naughty bits about David and Jonathan that had been edited out are now restored, too!

Come here a minute March 18, 2009 at 5:27 pm

Daniel Schorr reads Wonkette! He is ‘snarking’ about the BONUS ARMY on the NPR at this very moment.

What would Denby say, if he were still alive? He would be rolling in his grave, that’s what.

WadISay March 18, 2009 at 5:29 pm

Conservapedia defines marriage as the relationship with the beard you use for a punching bag while you seek true love in the MSP crapper or with your congressional page.

Lemming Caution March 18, 2009 at 5:31 pm

[re=268406]DustBowlBlues[/re]: it’s Brian Eno’s “Music for Airports” – and I’d like to know what wingnuts are doing listening to classic Eno.

(sadly, that was what really pissed me off about this video. My inner lawyer wants to report the unauthorized use of the music, because I’m a tool.)

teebob2000 March 18, 2009 at 5:31 pm

[re=268430]WadISay[/re]: Win.

chascates March 18, 2009 at 5:31 pm

[re=268428]Come here a minute[/re]: And I bet he was there to cover it.

Colander March 18, 2009 at 5:32 pm

I hope those Merriam-Webster heretics like the deluge of toads they’ve unleashed upon this nation of heathens. GOD DON’T LIKE BUTTSECKS

teebob2000 March 18, 2009 at 5:32 pm

So, why all the controversy?

Godot March 18, 2009 at 5:34 pm

I don’t appreciate the “WAKE UP!” at the end of the video.

I’ll take naps at work if I damn well please, wingnuts.

Colander March 18, 2009 at 5:35 pm

[re=268417]Min[/re]: And the word Dick is right in the title, I don’t see why everyone’s so surprised.

SayItWithWookies March 18, 2009 at 5:35 pm

[re=268427]AxmxZ[/re]: That David was a whore.

P Drizzle March 18, 2009 at 5:36 pm

[re=268406]DustBowlBlues[/re]: It’s from Eno’s Ambient 2. Pretty strange choice cause new age and outrage totally don’t mix.

Unrelated: Can we all imagine the pure joy that a WND comments thread would bring?

Jukesgrrl March 18, 2009 at 5:36 pm

Merriam-Webster. Hyphenated name. Obvious liberal bias. Mother was probably a hippie.

One Yield Regular March 18, 2009 at 5:38 pm

[re=268430]WadISay[/re]: Running Conservapedia through the Babel Fish translator has never worked better.

And please, please, please, Athiest Jesus forbid this leads to Conservadictionary.

[re=268395]jagorev[/re]: …or pick up an actual book.

LeonardHatred March 18, 2009 at 5:40 pm

Wow, it’s really sad to see that Eric B. has fallen on such hard times that he has to accept whatever scraps WND throws him for monitoring YouTube for evidence of gay conspiracies. I guess Rakim was a real stabilizing influence on his life. I hope he gets back to dropping fresh rhymes soon. You’re in my prayers, B!

smashtheduck March 18, 2009 at 5:40 pm

Quick, someone look up “Santorum” and “Saddlebacking.”

Nerdalicious March 18, 2009 at 5:40 pm

It’s 5:30pm EST, have you had your aortic valve replaced yet??
You too, Aaron Boone, Babs Shrub & Robin Wiliams.
Soylent Green is Aortic Valves!


american mutt March 18, 2009 at 5:41 pm

Oh my god! This “book” also has a definition for “incest” and “furry”!

smashtheduck March 18, 2009 at 5:43 pm

[re=268421]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Fuckin’ WIN

Jean Hotman, Marquis de Villers-St-Paul March 18, 2009 at 5:45 pm

Why are they using that kind of slow, soothing music if the purpose of the video was to wake people up? Do they have powerful explosions as lullabies? (Stupid question; of course they do.)

Canuckledragger March 18, 2009 at 6:00 pm

Don’t see why the geyz can’t “marry.” Why SHOULDN’T they suffer like the rest of us?

Thus far the “civil union”/”marriage” schism is my only major peeve with the Hopester. Give the geyz all the legal rights that marriage affords, but DON’T call it “marriage?” WTF? If ANYBODY should be shouting down “separate but equal,” it should be that fuckin’ guy. Instead of using this non-controversy as a chance to pussy out, Hopey shoulda used it as a teaching moment: “Separate but equal didn’t work before and it’s got no better with time.” Civil rights are fuckin’ civil rights, yo.

bitchincamaro March 18, 2009 at 6:02 pm

[re=268417]Min[/re]: Merriam-Webster, or as it’s known in my house, Top + Bottom.

Boojum March 18, 2009 at 6:06 pm

It is just an Obamanation.

HomoPolitico March 18, 2009 at 6:11 pm

[re=268479]Canuckledragger[/re]: Please…you expect us to be as progressive and forward-thinking as…uh…Spain?

ForTheTurnstiles March 18, 2009 at 6:33 pm

[re=268494]HomoPolitico[/re]: Yeah! This ain’t no South Africa over here.

spelunketeria March 18, 2009 at 7:47 pm

I don’t know, this video is suspicious to me. Since when have the jesus goblins had a working knowledge of “print screen” and the You-Tubes? Looks like a forgery made by enterprising libtards to me.

Mr Blifil March 18, 2009 at 8:42 pm

Also notice that references to Mandingo have all been deleted.

jilly March 18, 2009 at 9:08 pm

No wonder my marriage is crap!!! Goddamn you gays anyhow. And you too, Miriam Webster you girlyman. And the music wanted me to lay down on the floor and gauge my eyeballs out in order to stop the tears. Also.

jilly March 18, 2009 at 9:09 pm

And if the word “marriage” came from the french, well, I would say anything goes.

Neon Trotsky March 18, 2009 at 9:29 pm

This is just as outrageous as when Merriam-Webster dropped the “of the same race” clause from their definition of marriage!

greensprout March 18, 2009 at 10:42 pm

“YouTube user Eric B.”

Why must they insult their contributors so?

ladymacbeth March 19, 2009 at 12:06 am

i fucking hate it when people tell me to wake up.

Lionel Hutz Esq. March 19, 2009 at 1:28 am

Great, thanks to Webster’s I have to go out and fuck dudes now. Thanks a lot Merriam.

Lionel Hutz Esq. March 19, 2009 at 1:29 am

[re=268665]jilly[/re]: I assume since it comes from the French, it already included teh gaheyz.

Roger3815 March 19, 2009 at 1:56 am

Face it breeders. Resistance is futile. You will be adapted to service us.

JDHART March 19, 2009 at 7:27 am

I’m going out and buy a GAY dictionary today!

TGY March 19, 2009 at 9:14 am

“Merriam” is definitely a gay name.

chaste everywhere March 19, 2009 at 10:16 am

The Eno album was called “Music for Airports,” yes? Paging Larry Craig!

KilgoreTrout_XL March 19, 2009 at 12:03 pm

Curiously. the 1913 Edition of M-W has the current definition of “Santorum”, but not “Saddlebacking.”

HuddledMass March 19, 2009 at 12:07 pm

[re=268479]Canuckledragger[/re]: Srsly — the government should oversee “civil unions” for everyone, gay and straight, as a legal contract.

“Marriage” should be a sacrament of whatever church/mosque/synagogue you “marry” in (or not – can’t stand those places, except as architecture.)

madmod March 19, 2009 at 8:31 pm

I’m pretty sure the American Heritage Dictionary’s definition for marriage has something to do with gays too.


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