Dictionary Redefines Marriage, For The Gays

  ha ha

You know how the Gays are always trying to get married, for the sole purpose of ruining your hetero marriage? Well now one dictionary says they can. BURN IT.

This is a major setback for the queer-haters: the Merriam-Webster dictionary has added a second definition for “marriage” that reads, “the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage.”

Because anti-gay-marriage people would always like to say, lazily, that, “You can’t just change the definition of a word like that.” But hey look at this — you apparently can!

And now the WorldNetDaily is in a gay hissy fit, and etymological experts from around the globe are chiming in there:

“I was shocked to see that Merriam-Webster changed their definition of the word ‘marriage,’ a word which has referred exclusively to a contract between a man and a woman for centuries. It has now added same sex,” YouTube user Eric B. noted to WND.

“The 1992 Webster’s Dictionary does not mention same sex at all,” he wrote. [...]

One commenter on the YouTube site said it’s just part of the campaign by homosexual activists to take control of the definition of the word and make it align with their goals.

Is this particular YouTube comment thread the secret location of the JournoList?

Webster’s dictionary redefines ‘marriage’ [WorldNetDaily]

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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59 comments

  1. NoWireHangers

    Hmmmmm, wingnuts. Gay marriage was LEGAL in Cali and you didn’t like that so you created a proposition to CHANGE THE LAW.

    WAKE UP PEOPLE!1!

  2. shortsshortsshorts

    Marriam-Webster makes clear its position on Prop 8— that the Prop bans all marriage.
    Sounds good to me.

  3. NoWireHangers

    [re=268395]jagorev[/re]: There ain’t no comments section in the dictionary. Well, at least not yet.

  4. bfstevie@yahoo.com

    Nothing says “courage of your convictions” like publishing something which espouses your political or social position and then not putting your name on it. The Family Research Council spews out some pretty outrageous shit, but at least they identify where it’s coming from. Also.

  5. DustBowlBlues

    The music sounds like this is about suffering of puppies and kittens, something that matters. But this? WTF do they want people to do about it, anyway?

    This sounds like Requiem for Civilization As the Wingnuts Want It.

  6. nrkeyqueer

    WAKE UP SHEEPLE! THE GAYZ ARE IN YER INTERWEBS, MESSIN WIT UR INGLISH!

    Merriam-Webster makes changes in definition based on common usage. If you want to change the definition you gotta get all those monogamous couples to call themselves something else.

    Personally, I’m pushing for the state and federal government to start recognizing my relationship with my fuckbuddies. But, ya know…baby steps.

  7. 51dimes

    This assault on our language will not stand Merriam-Webster. Next thing you know they’ll be ADDING words. Also.

  8. chascates

    So Websters changed the definition of marriage by simply writing a new definition? Dictionaries can DO that?
    So ‘gay’ means something other than ‘keenly alive and exuberant’?

  9. ewilliams

    [re=268395]jagorev[/re]: If they listed a link we would have missed out on all that fancy camera work. It just wouldn’t have had the same effect.

  10. AxmxZ

    [re=268421]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I looked a bit further in the Bible, and all those naughty bits about David and Jonathan that had been edited out are now restored, too!

  11. Come here a minute

    Daniel Schorr reads Wonkette! He is ‘snarking’ about the BONUS ARMY on the NPR at this very moment.

    What would Denby say, if he were still alive? He would be rolling in his grave, that’s what.

  12. WadISay

    Conservapedia defines marriage as the relationship with the beard you use for a punching bag while you seek true love in the MSP crapper or with your congressional page.

  13. Lemming Caution

    [re=268406]DustBowlBlues[/re]: it’s Brian Eno’s “Music for Airports” – and I’d like to know what wingnuts are doing listening to classic Eno.

    (sadly, that was what really pissed me off about this video. My inner lawyer wants to report the unauthorized use of the music, because I’m a tool.)

  14. Colander

    I hope those Merriam-Webster heretics like the deluge of toads they’ve unleashed upon this nation of heathens. GOD DON’T LIKE BUTTSECKS

  15. Godot

    I don’t appreciate the “WAKE UP!” at the end of the video.

    I’ll take naps at work if I damn well please, wingnuts.

  16. Colander

    [re=268417]Min[/re]: And the word Dick is right in the title, I don’t see why everyone’s so surprised.

  17. P Drizzle

    [re=268406]DustBowlBlues[/re]: It’s from Eno’s Ambient 2. Pretty strange choice cause new age and outrage totally don’t mix.

    Unrelated: Can we all imagine the pure joy that a WND comments thread would bring?

  18. One Yield Regular

    [re=268430]WadISay[/re]: Running Conservapedia through the Babel Fish translator has never worked better.

    And please, please, please, Athiest Jesus forbid this leads to Conservadictionary.

    [re=268395]jagorev[/re]: …or pick up an actual book.

  19. LeonardHatred

    Wow, it’s really sad to see that Eric B. has fallen on such hard times that he has to accept whatever scraps WND throws him for monitoring YouTube for evidence of gay conspiracies. I guess Rakim was a real stabilizing influence on his life. I hope he gets back to dropping fresh rhymes soon. You’re in my prayers, B!

  20. Jean Hotman, Marquis de Villers-St-Paul

    Why are they using that kind of slow, soothing music if the purpose of the video was to wake people up? Do they have powerful explosions as lullabies? (Stupid question; of course they do.)

  21. Canuckledragger

    Don’t see why the geyz can’t “marry.” Why SHOULDN’T they suffer like the rest of us?

    Thus far the “civil union”/”marriage” schism is my only major peeve with the Hopester. Give the geyz all the legal rights that marriage affords, but DON’T call it “marriage?” WTF? If ANYBODY should be shouting down “separate but equal,” it should be that fuckin’ guy. Instead of using this non-controversy as a chance to pussy out, Hopey shoulda used it as a teaching moment: “Separate but equal didn’t work before and it’s got no better with time.” Civil rights are fuckin’ civil rights, yo.

  22. HomoPolitico

    [re=268479]Canuckledragger[/re]: Please…you expect us to be as progressive and forward-thinking as…uh…Spain?

  23. spelunketeria

    I don’t know, this video is suspicious to me. Since when have the jesus goblins had a working knowledge of “print screen” and the You-Tubes? Looks like a forgery made by enterprising libtards to me.

  24. jilly

    No wonder my marriage is crap!!! Goddamn you gays anyhow. And you too, Miriam Webster you girlyman. And the music wanted me to lay down on the floor and gauge my eyeballs out in order to stop the tears. Also.

  25. Neon Trotsky

    This is just as outrageous as when Merriam-Webster dropped the “of the same race” clause from their definition of marriage!

  26. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Great, thanks to Webster’s I have to go out and fuck dudes now. Thanks a lot Merriam.

  27. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    [re=268665]jilly[/re]: I assume since it comes from the French, it already included teh gaheyz.

  28. KilgoreTrout_XL

    Curiously. the 1913 Edition of M-W has the current definition of “Santorum”, but not “Saddlebacking.”

  29. HuddledMass

    [re=268479]Canuckledragger[/re]: Srsly — the government should oversee “civil unions” for everyone, gay and straight, as a legal contract.

    “Marriage” should be a sacrament of whatever church/mosque/synagogue you “marry” in (or not – can’t stand those places, except as architecture.)

  30. madmod

    I’m pretty sure the American Heritage Dictionary’s definition for marriage has something to do with gays too.

    Conspiracy!

Comments are closed.