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Here, watch this, and maybe you too can someday see why it is funny to tag the AIG flogging liveblog with “bonus army.” Ugh.

Actual transcript of conversation between your editor and his “Ivy league graduate” co-editors:

Grade inflation.

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64 COMMENTS

  1. Yeah, I didn’t get that all, and I too went to a fancy college. On the other hand, your Ivy League co-editor did use the word “haberdashery”, so those degrees weren’t entirely useless.

  2. According to Wikipedia the Bonus Army was a secret organization whose membership is secret and whose bylaws prevent revelation of its existence to any graduate of an elite Northeastern college. So that explains the confusion.

  3. [re=268053]Tommmcatt[/re]: Listen to John Forsyth’s explanation in the clip. Afterward he went off and banged Linda Evans for six hours

  4. My University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee history degree allowed me to understand that reference. Gotta go now, this customer wants Biggie fries.

  5. I got it (funny in peculiar ironic way, not haha) and I’m a furriners.

    Ken, you have have to throw in a MacArthur and Patton remark next time.

  6. Ken, do you know what happens when you masturbate to The History Channel? You are alienated by dumb American society and end up with an incredibly chafed penis.

  7. If it makes you feel better, I knew what the Bonus Army was. Nothing quite wakes you up to the more unpleasant realities of American history than reading about Douglas MacArthur and George Patton running over WWI veterans with tanks because they had the temerity to come to Washington for their promised money.

  8. I understand the convention to be that one learns something every day. Having now learned this thing, I am free to go home and get drunk. Thank you, Wonkette!

  9. I know he was going for “you fellas” but I’m pretty sure I heard “I know who made this country great! It’s that Jew Fella!”

    Do we know who this wonderful Jewish man was and if his next of kin might still live to lead us to prosperity?

    And how did the man know he’d be waiting until 1945 for non-wartime domestic spending? That’s rather prescient.

  10. It would be great to name a protest group “the new bonus army” for this particular bonus issue, but it would, karmically speaking, invite the same result. FWIW, it’s also worth noting that this was one of the few instances of the American military firing on unarmed American civilians (the next one after was Kent State).

  11. I think the lack of understanding comes from the fact that most educational systems seem to skip over any sort of union/anti-government related historical activities as they are considered unAmerican. The only reason why I knew it was because I had a couple of Commie teachers.

  12. [re=268098]Hooray For Anything[/re]: Agreed. In fact, in my high school, the Depression Era was taught as primarily a period of wonderful escapist movies. Nobody died from starvation or disease, nobody was homeless, nobody was exploited. I had to read Steinbeck for that.

  13. [re=268087]Gallowglass[/re]: There are not nearly enough references to the Whiskey Rebellion on this website. Especially considering the number of highly educated drunks. Of course, I’m a little partial to the Whiskey Rebellion because my ancestors were in on it.

  14. Yep, Kent State, mowing down the Bonus Army veterans, it’s all coming back to me. And to a location near you. Sooner than you think.

  15. I know about the Bonus Army and enjoy historical references with great gusto!! Unfortunately I work in finance where I once made a historical reference to the storming of the Bastille in an e-mail to my team and was met with confused silence. Except for the one person who responded that people who make historical jokes (which he doesn’t get) like that should be killed. Talk about workplace professionalism! Sarah I want to work with you and make historical jokes all day, please save me from this.
    P.S.- The leader of the Bonus Army was from my hometown and I’ve visited his grave!! Multiple times!! Because I have nothing better to do…? *SOB*

  16. [re=268152]ServiceJervixJuice[/re]: yep, Butler foiled Prescott Bushs plan to build an army 500,000 strong and take down FDR, turning this US of A into a fascist nation.

    Too bad his grandson succeeded. Where was the modern day Smedley?

  17. Who doesn’t know about the Bonus Army? Extra credit if you knew that Dugout Doug McArthur led the real Army’s attack against them. Good ol’ Doug.

  18. [re=268198]Lazy Media[/re]: Yes, and a certain guy who later became known as Ike was his aide. I was hoping to find pho-toes of them both in David Vitter pants, but my google search was lame, and I am lazy, also.

  19. [re=268190]sati demise[/re]: Weird coincidence: I quoted Smedley recently, in the context of explaining that the HBO film “Taking Chance” (starring Kevin Bacon) was propaganda.

    (There is no such thing as an “apolitical war film,” IMHO.)

    The reference did not go over well with my audience.

    Probably because they realized that Gen. Butler was a commie pinko Islamic terrorist faggot who should denounced by Rush, Bill O and Ann The Man.

    What with his TWO Medals of Honor and all.

  20. I’m a history grad school dropout and I…got it. Them WW1ers was starvin’ and they wanted FDR to give ’em money they were promised later only they wanted it RIGHT NOW GODAMMIT.

  21. I went to a second-rate Midwestern liberal arts college (and a third-rate regional ag’ school in the shit part of Washington state to get an MFA, which is the second dumbest thing I’ve ever done, after above) and I got it. But that’s because when I was 18 my grandpa gave me a copy of his veterans magazine with an article on the hobo march because I was interested in labor affairs.

    In short, next time I see him I will remember to thank my grandfather for helping me understand Ken Layne’s jokes.

  22. [re=268152]ServiceJervixJuice[/re]: I didn’t know that. There’s another great forgotten story that no one here will know that he was involved with. He was the one who exposed a Wall Street plot to oust FDR and impose a fascist government in 1933 or ’34.

  23. god I’m looking through the comments more and what is wrong with you damned illiterate fucks how did none of you learn about the Bonus Army?

  24. Arlen Spector’s father was in the bonus army, and he cites that as one reason he became a lawyer…to fight for people’s rights…back when lawyers used to do that…before they became corporate pimps… and other valuable members of scoiety…

  25. I have, I think, never in my life seen someone so proud of himself that he said a funny, so disappointed he didn’t get approval, and so sneeringly condescending that he found something he knows that someone else doesn’t.

    This post kinda reminds me of the “The ocean called, it says its out of shrimp” episode of Seinfeld. Ken said a funny, he just had to find an excuse to say it again, this time in front of an appreciative army.

    Bonus Army, he he.

  26. And look at these “me two” dweebs trying to carry the ball further; “oh, you may know about the bonus army, but I know it was led by McArthur,” “Yeah, well I know Eisenhower was McArthur’s COS.”

    Yay, we know stuff, we get jokes. C’mere and let me smooch that pooper, Ken.

  27. Poor Ken trying to persuade his fellow editors that “bonus army” is funny gave me perhaps the biggest laugh I’ve had all day. So, mission accomplished roundabout-ly?

  28. [re=268422]Tra[/re]: Poor Ken trying to persuade his fellow editors that “bonus army” is funny gave me perhaps the biggest laugh I’ve had all day.

    Me too. That was the funny part, not the bonus part. The two young padowans both responding “I don’t get it.” Ken banging head on desk, suggesting they be retroactively aborted. Can’t get much more humorous than that.

  29. I know what the Bonus Army is because I bought a book on it, which I have not read or even opened. But I did read the back cover blurb, and thought it would make a nice gift for my dad for his birthday, but then failed to wrap or mail it to him so it’s basically sitting in pristine shape jammed between a copy of “RE Search #15: Incredibly Strange Music” and some highbrow porn in one of my ridiculously overstuffed bookcases.

    So, that’s my story.

  30. i know nothing about the bonus army.

    i know quite a bit about the golden bull, the great schism and the babylonian captivity but my uropeein church larnin does me absolutely no good in the hobo economy.

  31. So basically this is part of American history the Masons and the Lizard Aliens don’t want you to know, which is why so many of us didn’t know about it. “Drop out of school before your mind rots from exposure to our mediocre educational system. Forget about the Senior Prom and go to the library and educate yourself if you’ve got any guts. Some of you like pep rallies and plastic robots who tell you what to read. Forget I mentioned it…. Rise for the flag salute.” — Frank Zappa.

  32. [re=268492]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Luara Ingraham? Where? I would so love to kick her in the cunt; point her out to me. For Megan, I have only swamp sow and kankle jokes.

  33. I don’t know about the rest of the Ivy League, BTW, but the Harvard grads that I have occasionally been forced to work with have universally been the most worthless sacks of shit ever in history. Dull grinds totally devoid of brightness. And everyone knows that the most dangerous person in the world is a diligent dullard, wrap them in a veneer of respectability, so that other dullards will kowtow to them, and they cause disasters. Think Harvard Summa Cum Laude graduate John Yoo.

  34. Oh, and don’t forget the stupidest motherfucker on the face of the planet, Harvard grad Dougie Feith, magna cum laude, 1975. And of course W himself, Yale and Harvard. Them schools pump out pompous, entitled morons by the hundreds, apparently. The rest of them work for AIG and Citi and Lehman.

  35. Ha ha! I knew about the bonus army from going to public high school! No, you don’t understand, this is a good feeling because I feel stupid a lot usually.

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