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Sen. Chuck Grassley: AIG Just Stone Cold Suckin’ Your Fat Titties

No but really, Chuck Grassley says “sucking the tit of the taxpayer.” Even if he had just said “suckling on the teat of the taxpayer,” it would have been funny enough to merit a post, so this is like double-bonus territory here. [Urbzen]


5:02 PM on Tue March 17 2009
By Jim Newell
3168 Views

  1. comradepaulson says at 5:04 pm, March 17th, 2009

    I was already aware that AIG was sucking my titties, just as I am aware that they are fucking me up the ass.

  2. NoWireHangers says at 5:05 pm, March 17th, 2009

    So thats why my nipples are sore…

  3. I get paid if I let you suck my tits, right?

  4. AWOcoholic says at 5:06 pm, March 17th, 2009

    Have you seen this?…

    http://www.yeahokthen.com/2009/03/glenn-beck-of-fox-news.html

    Glenn Beck. Glenn. Beck.

  5. It depends on the taxpayer. There are some tits I wouldn’t suck even if I worked for AIG.

  6. AngryBlakGuy says at 5:06 pm, March 17th, 2009

    …shyt, I didn’t even get dinner?!

  7. OReillysVibrator says at 5:06 pm, March 17th, 2009

    What do Republicans know about sucking tits?

  8. StephanieInCA says at 5:09 pm, March 17th, 2009

    In the future, I would like to be referred to as “Tit Correspondent”

    (StephanieInCA=Urbzen.com)

  9. pedestrian rage says at 5:09 pm, March 17th, 2009

    That’s how you know Chuck’s from Iowa - he’s unashamed of those tit-sucking references. Let’s see a David Hooker Vitter or Mitch McConnell use the term “tit” in public without blushing. Hengh????

  10. Dog Trombone says at 5:10 pm, March 17th, 2009

    Mt Granddad called all unweaned farm animals, “sucktits.” I suggest this as the new name for all AIG execs. And Rick Santelli.

  11. Bronkers says at 5:11 pm, March 17th, 2009

    There’s a mastitis joke in this somewhere…

  12. Serolf Divad says at 5:11 pm, March 17th, 2009

    I was wondering why I, a guy, was lactating.

  13. DemmeFatale says at 5:11 pm, March 17th, 2009

    In the longer version, Beavis and Butthead behind him snicker.

    Heh, heh, TIT, heh, heh!

  14. DoctorCulturae says at 5:11 pm, March 17th, 2009

    Chuck Grassley: the new Strom Thurmond

  15. you cannot be serious says at 5:12 pm, March 17th, 2009

    Where’s Mel Gibson when we need him? It’s the Jews’ fault, sugar tits.

  16. AngryBlakGuy says at 5:16 pm, March 17th, 2009

    …I think what AIG is doing is beyond “sucking the tit of the taxpayer”. I think this is more in the realm of “them using electric nipple clamps while they titty fukk the taxpayer”!

  17. AngryBlakGuy says at 5:17 pm, March 17th, 2009

    …or in brief this feels more like a “titty fukking” than a “titty sukking”!

  18. Serolf Divad says at 5:17 pm, March 17th, 2009

    I want to see a politician be all: “AIG has got us bent over a piano stool, with a tennis ball shoved in our mouth, our wrists zip-tied to our balls, and they’re fucking us from behind while whipping us with a riding crop!” Oh, and I want this politician to be secretly stroking himself off behind the podium as he says this.

  19. MarieDeGournay says at 5:19 pm, March 17th, 2009

    They’re all toothy and bity about it too. And not in the fun and sexy way. More like a teething infant way.

  20. Custerwolf says at 5:22 pm, March 17th, 2009

    pedestrian rage: Just for the record the proper pronunciation of ‘teat’ IS tit. Yes, I am a know-it-all, thank you.

  21. smashtheduck says at 5:23 pm, March 17th, 2009

    Finally, a politician who understands this is all Octo-Mom’s fault.

  22. grevillea says at 5:25 pm, March 17th, 2009

    Serolf Divad: But pretend you’re not enjoying it, OK?

  23. PrairiePossum says at 5:25 pm, March 17th, 2009

    Gee Chuck, I don’t get it. Perhaps you could post some pictures of this taxpayer “tit sucking” so we could all understand your point.

  24. SayItWithWookies says at 5:25 pm, March 17th, 2009

    Now I prefer things under the Dubya administration, when AIG would’ve paid me twenty bucks to give me a blowjob.

  25. comradepaulson says at 5:28 pm, March 17th, 2009

    SayItWithWookies: Don’t mention blow jobs to these people. That gives them the excuse to jack off again about the Clenis. And blame this whole titty-sucking episode on the Clenis.

  26. Canuckledragger says at 5:33 pm, March 17th, 2009

    It beats the Republican habit of sucking the dicks of the largest contributors.

    Nothing sucks like a Republican. [Unless they're women. Then, not so much.]

  27. loquaciousmusic says at 5:34 pm, March 17th, 2009

    Wasn’t that a line from Bill O’Reilly’s novel?

  28. Judas Peckerwood says at 5:35 pm, March 17th, 2009

    More tits, less bailout.

  29. DustBowlBlues says at 5:35 pm, March 17th, 2009

    WTF? You’ve all totally missed the point. This is the opening salvo in Grassley’s 2012 bid for the WH. Where’s Bible Spices’ outrage, huh?

  30. DangerousLiberal says at 5:39 pm, March 17th, 2009

    comradepaulson: Simultaneously? Someone is really limber.

  31. DangerousLiberal says at 5:41 pm, March 17th, 2009

    Custerwolf: At least, that’s how they do it in Iowa. And there’s plenty of teats/tits in Iowa, for sure.

  32. Mr Blifil says at 5:54 pm, March 17th, 2009

    Cornyn’s expression behind him looks particularly avid.

  33. sarahconnor says at 5:56 pm, March 17th, 2009

    Serolf Divad: with his eyes crossed…

  34. Atheist Nun says at 6:09 pm, March 17th, 2009

    Damn. The word is out about my Magic Titties That Are Filled With 100% Pure Molten Gold. Now who’s going to love me for who I am and not my Magic 100% Pure Molten Gold-Filled Titties?

  35. Cape Clod says at 6:14 pm, March 17th, 2009

    So where’s that MSNBC news lady prude when all this is happening? Doesn’t Senator Grassley know that her grandmother watches the news?

  36. proudgrampa says at 6:14 pm, March 17th, 2009

    Where is magictitty when we need her(him(?))??

  37. DoctorCulturae says at 6:16 pm, March 17th, 2009

    Atheist Nun: Oh dear, not THAT problem again.

  38. Atheist Nun says at 6:21 pm, March 17th, 2009

    DoctorCulturae: (sob!) Nobody understands my pain!

  39. LittlePig says at 6:34 pm, March 17th, 2009

    Custerwolf: That’s bullsheat.

  40. Business blogs are reporting that at least $57 million of the “retention bonuses” are going to key managers that they have already canned. Imagine that.

  41. ok, ok. I’ll come clean. I have an MBA from an Ivy League school. Who the fuck are the people who are actually really making this secret illicit bonus money ’cause I can assure you its no one I know and I know a LOT of people.

    But believe me, as said greedy MBA I would take the money if someone offered it up.

  42. Bearbloke says at 7:38 pm, March 17th, 2009

    Serolf Divad: you mean ‘pulling a Cheney’ ?

  43. Swampwitch says at 7:43 pm, March 17th, 2009

    If this actually were titty sucking/fucking, it should feel a helluva lot better.

  44. Custerwolf says at 7:51 pm, March 17th, 2009

    LittlePig: No - I’m not keading.

  45. mylesfromnowhere says at 8:55 pm, March 17th, 2009

    Custerwolf: damn. Now I have to worry about feasting!

  46. NebraskashireGentry says at 9:36 pm, March 17th, 2009

    on the plus side, this qualifies Sen. Grassley to host a conservative talk show when he retires, or to head the RNC.

  47. gliberal says at 10:35 pm, March 17th, 2009

    Isn’t the expression usually reserved for public servants like Sen. Grasshole who are perpetually sucking the tit of the public udder?

  48. zhubajie says at 1:22 am, March 18th, 2009

    I’m from Iowa, too, and I’m willing to bet Grassley hasn’t been near a cow’s teat in a LOOONG time. Maybe some harlot’s tit or some lobbyist’s hind teat.

    Zhu Bajie

  49. greywindz says at 8:00 am, March 18th, 2009

  50. A POET, THE MAN’S A POET!

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