NO SERIOUSLY  8:58 pm March 16, 2009

Sacha Baron Cohen Tries To Have Gay Sex With Ron Paul In New Movie

by Jim Newell

Sacha Baron Cohen, the guy who played “Borat” in that movie, and also had an HBO show… whatever, you smartasses all know him, and he’s got a new movie coming out soon. It’s about “Bruno,” the gay Austrian TV host character who was also on Ali G. It’ll basically be the same movie as Borat, but instead of making fun of American racists, he makes fun of American homophobes (REAL AMERICANS.) And in one episode, he tries to seduce Dr. Ron Paul, the secret President of the United States on the Internet.

The Fat Cats at Slate got wind of this rumored scene and are now spreading it (w/ help from CIA/Likud/Neolibs ????) solely to ruin the reputation of Doctor Paul — because they fear him:

The scene with Paul, filmed in early 2008, occurs about halfway through the movie, after Bruno gets the idea that you have to make a sex tape to become famous. (Stop reading here if you want to see the movie unspoiled.)

Cut to a nondescript hotel suite where Bruno sits across from Ron Paul. After a brief exchange of pleasantries, a light blows out on the set. Bruno apologizes for the technical difficulties and suggests that he and Paul wait in the other room while the crew fixes the light.

The other room, it turns out, is a bedroom. The lighting is low, and the film is now grainy—not unlike a sex tape—as it cuts to a hidden spy camera. There’s a spread of Champagne and strawberries and caviar on a table.

Bruno tells Paul to make himself comfortable. Paul sits down on the bed. Bruno turns on some music and starts dancing. Paul is visibly uneasy but doesn’t say anything at first. He picks up a newspaper and pretends to read it. “You can tell at each weird gay detail, he [chalks] it up to, This guy is European,” says one of the attendees.

Finally, Paul asks what’s going on. “Don’t worry about it, Dr. Paul,” says Bruno, who then unbuckles his belt and drops his pants. At that point, Paul snaps up and storms out of the room.

As Paul is walking away, you can hear him say, several times, something like, “This guy is a queer!” “The word queer comes out of his mouth three or four times,” says an attendee.

Hey Slate, Doctor Congressman Ron Paul doesn’t *pretend* to read newspapers. Unless it’s Daily Paul. Which he reads *seriously,* so nevermind.

Anyway, that’s about the funniest thing that could ever happen.

Libertarians Gone Wild [Slate]

 

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{ 92 comments }

Neilist March 16, 2009 at 9:03 pm

I always wanted a blimp.

Even a gay one.

But a zepplin would be better.

ManchuCandidate March 16, 2009 at 9:04 pm

Ron Paul, 4th Bestest Fiat Hustler in all Tejas.

anabellum March 16, 2009 at 9:06 pm

they have excellent ads on that site..

comradepaulson March 16, 2009 at 9:06 pm

The most important film since “Citizen Kane,” me thinks.

smashtheduck March 16, 2009 at 9:07 pm

Only thing that could have been funnier is if it had been a bathroom instead of a bedroom. Although the outcome would have been completely different. Everyone knows it’s not gay if you do it in the bathroom. Apparently this Bruno faggot also joins the Alabama National Guard for sexytime.

KTHXBAI March 16, 2009 at 9:11 pm

Can Aaron Schock be in it? Please?

I would wreck that. A lot. Also.

Buttsecks.

Monsieur Grumpe March 16, 2009 at 9:14 pm

Maybe there would have been a different outcome if Bruno dropped his pants to reveal magic underwear. Different music maybe? What kind of music turns gay Libertarians on anyway?

ifthethunderdontgetya" March 16, 2009 at 9:15 pm

All the AOL Paultards will be all over this.

Like stink on rice, or some such.
~

comradepaulson March 16, 2009 at 9:16 pm

[re=266659]smashtheduck[/re]: It’s not gay if you do it in a bathroom? Gee, I’ve been doing my gay all wrong.

Is it still gay if you do it in the Library? Or in the billard room? With Col. Mustard and the lead pipe?

TotallyTara! March 16, 2009 at 9:17 pm

[re=266659]smashtheduck[/re]: Larry Craig, you do not speak for ‘everyone’.

Mr Blifil March 16, 2009 at 9:22 pm

I wonder how committed to the bit Cohen really was? Would he have let Ron Paul actually blow him?

ManchuCandidate March 16, 2009 at 9:26 pm

[re=266669]Mr Blifil[/re]:
I think it would have been awkward if the Hotel Scene in Borat is to be believed.

paparapapa March 16, 2009 at 9:28 pm

Wow. Just wow. Cohen wishes he had half the integrity of Dr. Paul.

doloras March 16, 2009 at 9:28 pm

[re=266662]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Mario Lanza. Trufax.

shortsshortsshorts March 16, 2009 at 9:29 pm

It calls for it:
http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/why_do_all_these_homosexuals

Why does Ron Paul get put in these positions?

[re=266669]Mr Blifil[/re]: Definitely.

Colander March 16, 2009 at 9:31 pm

[re=266669]Mr Blifil[/re]: I think he would have let it go as far as necessary to incriminate him, then he would think of some BS reason for them to stop.

The future is at stake, after all.

stew March 16, 2009 at 9:34 pm

Dis Dr. Paul if you must, but us hippies dig his “legalize the weed” stand.

anabellum March 16, 2009 at 9:37 pm

wow…GAY…NOT GAY….

how hilarious..

maybe Bruno farts in the movie as well?…

comradepaulson March 16, 2009 at 9:39 pm

[re=266678]stew[/re]: A wide stance, one presumes.

President Beeblebrox March 16, 2009 at 9:44 pm

I so want to see this film. I’m especially looking forward to the gay wrestling matches that Sascha staged in well-known pro-gay locales like Fort Smith, Arkansas and Texarkana, Texas.

psilage March 16, 2009 at 9:46 pm

Shaken to the core. Turned to his assistant and said soulfully “Ice cream, Mandrake, children’s ice cream.”

psilage March 16, 2009 at 9:52 pm

[re=266672]paparapapa[/re]: any relation to PaRappa the Rapper ?

North March 16, 2009 at 9:59 pm

Stupid, filthy fag.

Lionel Hutz Esq. March 16, 2009 at 10:00 pm

I’m confused. Didn’t the gay Austrian become Governor of California?

ifthethunderdontgetya" March 16, 2009 at 10:09 pm

[re=266686]psilage[/re]: Needs U-t00b!
~

ManchuCandidate March 16, 2009 at 10:11 pm

[re=266688]North[/re]:
Hey, that’s an awful thing to say about Ron Paul.

smashtheduck March 16, 2009 at 10:11 pm

[re=266664]comradepaulson[/re]: Col. Mustard? Wasn’t he at MAL?

smashtheduck March 16, 2009 at 10:13 pm

[re=266689]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: You heteros think you can just pawn all your mistakes off on us. The guvnaytor is all yours.

glamourdammerung March 16, 2009 at 10:15 pm

[re=266672]paparapapa[/re]: Why would someone wish for half the integrity of someone that made a career out of consorting with neo-nazis and other lunatics exactly?

shortsshortsshorts March 16, 2009 at 10:20 pm

[re=266688]North[/re]: Leave Ron Paul alone, you swine.

paparapapa March 16, 2009 at 10:21 pm

[re=266686]psilage[/re]: No.

[re=266700]glamourdammerung[/re]: Insightful. Here’s a link to what you just did: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Association_fallacy Try not to embarrass yourself further by doing it again.

shortsshortsshorts March 16, 2009 at 10:22 pm

[re=266692]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Oh goddammit! That is why I must read beyond the wingnut crazy’s comment.

smashtheduck March 16, 2009 at 10:22 pm

[re=266683]President Beeblebrox[/re]: Fort Smith is the new Key West?

Swampwitch March 16, 2009 at 10:25 pm

[re=266704]paparapapa[/re]: Thanks so much for being our dictionary! Does that prove something?

comradepaulson March 16, 2009 at 10:29 pm

Has this thread brought the Paultards and the gay-bashers together? And by together I mean, closer together for some buttsecks?

shortsshortsshorts March 16, 2009 at 10:31 pm

Wingnuts and trolls are coming in with greater numbers.
Where is Rumproast?

smashtheduck March 16, 2009 at 10:33 pm

[re=266704]paparapapa[/re]: You Paultards would know something of embarrassment wouldn’t you?

comradepaulson March 16, 2009 at 10:33 pm

[re=266711]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Our great minds, thinking alike.

smashtheduck March 16, 2009 at 10:35 pm

[re=266711]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I’m guessing they’ve eaten most of their own and are now forced to troll elsewhere.

glamourdammerung March 16, 2009 at 10:39 pm

[re=266704]paparapapa[/re]: “Insightful. Here’s a link to what you just did: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Association_fallacy Try not to embarrass yourself further by doing it again.”

Except for that nagging detail that Ron Paul has been connected to a racist lunatic fring during his entire political career. Maybe you should read what an “association fallacy” is before you make yourself look foolish by using the term incorrectly again in the future.

gliberal March 16, 2009 at 10:40 pm

I like Sacha, think he’s enormously talented. But his characters and comedy describe a Kaplan Meier curve. Ali G was very funny, very entertaining. Borat, not so much. Bruno, not at all. Sorry.

President Beeblebrox March 16, 2009 at 10:47 pm

[re=266672]paparapapa[/re]: Y HLO THAR, Paultroll!

Ye gods, Our Wonkette is becoming popular trollbait.

TotallyTara! March 16, 2009 at 10:52 pm

Bruno’s mistake was trying to pay in fiat currency instead of with a shiny Krugerrand.

SpikeLeee March 16, 2009 at 10:54 pm

[re=266672]paparapapa[/re]: Racist newsletters are chock full integrity! and racism.

SlouchingTowardsWasilla March 16, 2009 at 10:58 pm

That Sacha Baron Cohen, boy howdy… exposing that Americans are uncomfortable with homosexuality… he really blew the lid off that one.

HottMcClellan March 16, 2009 at 11:00 pm

The “top” tag is amusingly appropriate. Or could have been.

Colander March 16, 2009 at 11:02 pm

I can’t wait to cringe through this film.

Uncle Bubba March 16, 2009 at 11:25 pm

If he had a gay guest reciever, say George W. Bush, would the networks carry say, the thrust of the program, or would the director, Dick Cheney, battery operated dick to the max, have to call every move?? Could there actually be some interactive exchange of ideas as George takes it up the ass and Dick positions himself, say politically.

Keram2 March 16, 2009 at 11:46 pm

Dicks, gay sex, and tweaking Ron Paul? Wonkette, I think you just got out Wonketted.

Joey Ratz March 16, 2009 at 11:53 pm

The most amusing thing about the Ali G/Borat/Bruno phenomenon is how adept he is at finding clueless stooges to embarrass – and who could be more clueless than the good doctor? Touche, Mr. Cohen.

AxmxZ March 17, 2009 at 12:15 am

[re=266720]gliberal[/re]: So Ali G was alive, Borat was… less alive…, and Bruno is the Heidelberg Faggot, neither dead nor alive with any degree of certainty?..

gjdodger March 17, 2009 at 12:22 am

“Bruno” should have yelled after him, “Hey, you can’t have ‘Revolution’ without LOVE!”

The Helvetica Scenario March 17, 2009 at 12:54 am

You know, they say only two things come from Texas’ 14th district…

JeffGoldblum March 17, 2009 at 1:05 am

Listen here, ASSHOLE, American Racists are JUST AS MUCH A PART OF REAL AMERICA as American Homophobes! Our troops aren’t fighting in Arabia to save your Commie Ass from “9/11s” because they aren’t Racist or Homophobic enough. Anyway, my point is, AMERICA’S TROOPS ARE PLENTY HOMOPHOBIC AND RACIST, SO GET OFF THEIR FUCKING BACKS! NEVER 4GET

Roger3815 March 17, 2009 at 1:06 am

The only way that could be funnier is if Ron Paul was hit by a bus running away from the hotel.

shortsshortsshorts March 17, 2009 at 1:10 am

[re=266762]JeffGoldblum[/re]: Ahh co-editor (THIS IS NOT JIM NEWELL’S FAULT. HE IS A FRENCH PERSON). You deserve 10 gold stars for that.

dougbob March 17, 2009 at 1:18 am

ahhh. Paultrolls. Sorta missed them. Would this be the same Ron Paul that voted against National Pi Day? http://obrag.org/?p=5245

JeffGoldblum March 17, 2009 at 1:53 am

Also, Bruno was always funnier than Borat.

You’re welcome. My name is Dana and I open difficult jars for the elderly, professionally.

Sincerely,
JeffGoldblum

toastandlove March 17, 2009 at 5:40 am

Ah, no, of course not “This guy tried to molest me in a hotel suite!”

“This guy is a queer”.

I would have never agreed to this sex tape if I knew he was a queer!

bago March 17, 2009 at 7:01 am

Man, it’s like you guys are not posting at 4 am PST!

zhubajie March 17, 2009 at 8:50 am

Don’t all Paultards lust for the good doctor? Isn’t it a requirement?

Zhu Bajie

ForTheTurnstiles March 17, 2009 at 8:58 am

[re=266806]zhubajie[/re]: Well, yeah. The right luvs them some cult action.

http://wilberwatch.blogspot.com/

WickedWitch March 17, 2009 at 9:10 am

The good doctor drives a baby-blue Buick, clutching the wheel like an old man. How can that man foment revolution??

Botswana Meat Commission FC March 17, 2009 at 9:11 am

This is suspiciously close to the fan fiction I uploaded to RonPaulForums.com last year!

Lazy Media March 17, 2009 at 9:22 am

[re=266677]Colander[/re]: Ron Paul is an idiot, but Sacha Baron Cohen is kind of a bad person (if a rather talented one). A rich guy tricking random people into behaving their worst is not social satire; it’s just snobbish bullying. Too bad he actually is talented, or his 15 minutes would already be up. Boo.

ForTheTurnstiles March 17, 2009 at 9:30 am

[re=266823]Lazy Media[/re]: Ron Paul is not a random person.

If someone is stupid enough to fall for this, then that person is a suitable object for social satire (as a symptom of a broader social problem, namely stupidity).

Analogy: people used to whine that Simon Cowell was mean to people who tried their best on American Idol. Those people volunteered for that shit. The joke’s on them and it’s funny. They asked for the attention and they got it.

Mr Blifil March 17, 2009 at 10:06 am

[re=266767]dougbob[/re]: Don’t discredit Paul for voting against Pi Day. Pi is little more than an approximation. RON PAUL VALUES EXACTITUDE.

frumious_bandersnatch March 17, 2009 at 11:17 am

[re=266672]paparapapa[/re]: By ‘integrity’, I assume you mean ‘buttseks’, right? I get those two confused all the time too.

norbizness March 17, 2009 at 11:34 am

I can see the new tagline for this movie: “It’s the gold standard of comedy!”

thefrontpage March 17, 2009 at 11:34 am

Even in comedy, that was a crappy low-handed thing to do to Paul. Good for Paul for storming out! This movie will fail. “Borat” was funny, but ya’ can’t go back to the well too often with mockumentary-type stuff. It works sometimes, but not most of the time. What Cohen should be doing is following the Williams/Hanks/Sandler/Carrey route, and alternate goofy comedies with more serious dramas, showcasing both sides while gaining critical acclaim. But you keep doing “Borat”-style movies with hidden cameras and “Candid Camera”-type stunts, and it isn’t going to work for too long.

DeLand DeLakes March 17, 2009 at 11:39 am

WANT MORE

DeLand DeLakes March 17, 2009 at 11:44 am

[re=266902]thefrontpage[/re]: No, Cohen TRIED to do a low-handed thing FOR Paul, but the wrinkly old fart wasn’t having it.
And if I ever ran into a politician who has build his lunatic circus of a base by alternately screaming “FREEDUMB” and railing for “the pplz’s” ability to control when, if and how women have children, let’s just say I would not begin by offering him a handjob. Cohen was taking the high road.

Capricatony March 17, 2009 at 11:50 am

Don’t forget Jew! A queer Jew!

Atlas Spanked March 17, 2009 at 12:09 pm

Bruno was always Cohen’s best character. And homophobes will be the least of it. The fashionista world will be revealed in all it’s utterly irrelevant self-absorbed glory. No worries about them getting the joke ahead of time. It’ll be sweet.

Accordion-o-rama March 17, 2009 at 12:13 pm

I look forward to SBC’s next film where he takes a dump in front of various people to watch their hilarious reactions. Man, this guy is an artist.

Zadig March 17, 2009 at 12:36 pm

[re=266902]thefrontpage[/re]: You honestly think that Cohen should throw away a perfectly good M.O. and follow in the footsteps of Adam Sandler and Jim Carrey, of all people? I don’t know what to say, there’s just no help for you. I don’t even know how you could have gotten here except by a google search for “Gay Sex Ron Paul”.

Squiggyfm March 17, 2009 at 1:04 pm

You know if you re arrange the letters in Ron Paul you get “Pornula”. Think about it.

thatonegirlsays March 17, 2009 at 1:04 pm

I don’t like when the paultardtrolls are earnest and doe-eyed. Bring me your wingnutty, your insane, your paultards who don’t underststand punctuation.

Biscuit March 17, 2009 at 1:10 pm

Cohen doesn’t know what he’s getting into. Don’t be surprised if his home phone, home address, and personal e-mail show up on Ronpaulforums and the guy gets blasted with indignant paultards. Just ask the former MI Republican party chairman.

It’s no surprise that 70 year old Paul didn’t get the set-up, but shouldn’t his (presumably) younger staff have suspected something was up?

Zadig March 17, 2009 at 1:24 pm

[re=266995]thatonegirlsays[/re]: The earnestness just makes it so much better if you can manage to break them. You get to watch their faces fall as they find out just how batshit crazy their hero is, and/or the fantastic, reason-defying denial.

I am a terrible person, and it’s so much fun.

Prommie March 17, 2009 at 2:00 pm

I like Paultards. They “Go Galt.” Isn’t the internets socialist?

norbizness March 17, 2009 at 2:06 pm

[re=266959]Accordion-o-rama[/re]: Tom Green wants a time machine so he can go back and work on wigs n’ accents and reclaim his schtick.

blackjesus March 17, 2009 at 2:12 pm

Paultards certainly have their faults.

But when I read the comments on wonkette I’m always somehow reminded of:

http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2004/03/19/

Wasn’t Paul’s former campaign manager gay? The Snider guy who died of an (supposedly) aids related illness?

And heck, I know if I was cornered in a dark room with a man much younger and stronger than me dropping his pants and propositioning me for sex I would have calmly and collectively explained that I was not a homosexual and to please allow me to leave calmly. Yep, that’s how it would go. No storming out and definitely no yelling. That’s just plain homophobic.

Zadig March 17, 2009 at 2:17 pm

[re=267090]blackjesus[/re]: With regard to wonketteer commentary, I believe the saying goes: “If you can’t take the heat, stay out of the ravening maw of Belial’s hell-furnace.”

problemwithcaring March 17, 2009 at 3:30 pm

[re=267090]blackjesus[/re]: When I read the comments on wonkette I’m always somehow reminded of why I hate people who write: “Wow. Just Wow.” and then proceed to write more. I just fucking hate that. Sorry.

Bruno March 18, 2009 at 3:35 am

I should have leaked this during the election. Then you’d all be sorry, because McCain would pick up all the pro-queer Paul supporters and we would have a real american in power now, not a usurper.

Bruno March 18, 2009 at 3:37 am

[re=267090]blackjesus[/re]: I don’t know. You want to give it a try? Where do you live? Send pixxx ASAP

DustBowlBlues March 18, 2009 at 12:26 pm

For the love of god, will someone tell me what that photo is? I thought it looked like Sean Bean in Sharpe’s Rifles for a minute, then I saw the blimp. This is driving me insane. Help me?

Liberty June 10, 2009 at 3:26 am

I’m embarrassed for all the bailouts and all the increased troops to the middle east more than I am about this. Paul just wants to reach the youth, he was tricked.

Liberty June 10, 2009 at 1:43 pm

Even John F.Kennedy tried to back our currency by silver again and wanted no part in the Vietnam war. Sounds a lot like what Ron Paul wants for the country. Less war, stronger dollar. It’s a disgrace Bruno did that to a man who is fighting so hard for our country. It’s funny to me Obama is hailed as the next JFK when he’s a big war monger and gives our money to bailout big bankers.

Liberty June 10, 2009 at 1:48 pm

Anyone who voted for Obama should be embarrassed they were duped. When are we going to see through this left right paradigm and demand real change, the change JOhn F. Kennedy tried before he was killed, the same changes Ron Paul wants for this country?

Liberty June 10, 2009 at 4:37 pm

Booya

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