Sacha Baron Cohen Tries To Have Gay Sex With Ron Paul In New Movie

  no seriously

Sacha Baron Cohen, the guy who played “Borat” in that movie, and also had an HBO show… whatever, you smartasses all know him, and he’s got a new movie coming out soon. It’s about “Bruno,” the gay Austrian TV host character who was also on Ali G. It’ll basically be the same movie as Borat, but instead of making fun of American racists, he makes fun of American homophobes (REAL AMERICANS.) And in one episode, he tries to seduce Dr. Ron Paul, the secret President of the United States on the Internet.

The Fat Cats at Slate got wind of this rumored scene and are now spreading it (w/ help from CIA/Likud/Neolibs ????) solely to ruin the reputation of Doctor Paul — because they fear him:

The scene with Paul, filmed in early 2008, occurs about halfway through the movie, after Bruno gets the idea that you have to make a sex tape to become famous. (Stop reading here if you want to see the movie unspoiled.)

Cut to a nondescript hotel suite where Bruno sits across from Ron Paul. After a brief exchange of pleasantries, a light blows out on the set. Bruno apologizes for the technical difficulties and suggests that he and Paul wait in the other room while the crew fixes the light.

The other room, it turns out, is a bedroom. The lighting is low, and the film is now grainy—not unlike a sex tape—as it cuts to a hidden spy camera. There’s a spread of Champagne and strawberries and caviar on a table.

 
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Bruno tells Paul to make himself comfortable. Paul sits down on the bed. Bruno turns on some music and starts dancing. Paul is visibly uneasy but doesn’t say anything at first. He picks up a newspaper and pretends to read it. “You can tell at each weird gay detail, he [chalks] it up to, This guy is European,” says one of the attendees.

Finally, Paul asks what’s going on. “Don’t worry about it, Dr. Paul,” says Bruno, who then unbuckles his belt and drops his pants. At that point, Paul snaps up and storms out of the room.

As Paul is walking away, you can hear him say, several times, something like, “This guy is a queer!” “The word queer comes out of his mouth three or four times,” says an attendee.

Hey Slate, Doctor Congressman Ron Paul doesn’t *pretend* to read newspapers. Unless it’s Daily Paul. Which he reads *seriously,* so nevermind.

Anyway, that’s about the funniest thing that could ever happen.

Libertarians Gone Wild [Slate]

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About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

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92 comments

  1. smashtheduck

    Only thing that could have been funnier is if it had been a bathroom instead of a bedroom. Although the outcome would have been completely different. Everyone knows it’s not gay if you do it in the bathroom. Apparently this Bruno faggot also joins the Alabama National Guard for sexytime.

  2. Monsieur Grumpe

    Maybe there would have been a different outcome if Bruno dropped his pants to reveal magic underwear. Different music maybe? What kind of music turns gay Libertarians on anyway?

  3. ifthethunderdontgetya"

    All the AOL Paultards will be all over this.

    Like stink on rice, or some such.
    ~

  4. comradepaulson

    [re=266659]smashtheduck[/re]: It’s not gay if you do it in a bathroom? Gee, I’ve been doing my gay all wrong.

    Is it still gay if you do it in the Library? Or in the billard room? With Col. Mustard and the lead pipe?

  5. Mr Blifil

    I wonder how committed to the bit Cohen really was? Would he have let Ron Paul actually blow him?

  6. ManchuCandidate

    [re=266669]Mr Blifil[/re]:
    I think it would have been awkward if the Hotel Scene in Borat is to be believed.

  7. Colander

    [re=266669]Mr Blifil[/re]: I think he would have let it go as far as necessary to incriminate him, then he would think of some BS reason for them to stop.

    The future is at stake, after all.

  8. President Beeblebrox

    I so want to see this film. I’m especially looking forward to the gay wrestling matches that Sascha staged in well-known pro-gay locales like Fort Smith, Arkansas and Texarkana, Texas.

  9. psilage

    Shaken to the core. Turned to his assistant and said soulfully “Ice cream, Mandrake, children’s ice cream.”

  10. smashtheduck

    [re=266689]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: You heteros think you can just pawn all your mistakes off on us. The guvnaytor is all yours.

  11. glamourdammerung

    [re=266672]paparapapa[/re]: Why would someone wish for half the integrity of someone that made a career out of consorting with neo-nazis and other lunatics exactly?

  12. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=266692]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Oh goddammit! That is why I must read beyond the wingnut crazy’s comment.

  13. Swampwitch

    [re=266704]paparapapa[/re]: Thanks so much for being our dictionary! Does that prove something?

  14. comradepaulson

    Has this thread brought the Paultards and the gay-bashers together? And by together I mean, closer together for some buttsecks?

  15. smashtheduck

    [re=266704]paparapapa[/re]: You Paultards would know something of embarrassment wouldn’t you?

  16. smashtheduck

    [re=266711]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I’m guessing they’ve eaten most of their own and are now forced to troll elsewhere.

  17. glamourdammerung

    [re=266704]paparapapa[/re]: “Insightful. Here’s a link to what you just did: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Association_fallacy Try not to embarrass yourself further by doing it again.”

    Except for that nagging detail that Ron Paul has been connected to a racist lunatic fring during his entire political career. Maybe you should read what an “association fallacy” is before you make yourself look foolish by using the term incorrectly again in the future.

  18. gliberal

    I like Sacha, think he’s enormously talented. But his characters and comedy describe a Kaplan Meier curve. Ali G was very funny, very entertaining. Borat, not so much. Bruno, not at all. Sorry.

  19. President Beeblebrox

    [re=266672]paparapapa[/re]: Y HLO THAR, Paultroll!

    Ye gods, Our Wonkette is becoming popular trollbait.

  20. SlouchingTowardsWasilla

    That Sacha Baron Cohen, boy howdy… exposing that Americans are uncomfortable with homosexuality… he really blew the lid off that one.

  21. Uncle Bubba

    If he had a gay guest reciever, say George W. Bush, would the networks carry say, the thrust of the program, or would the director, Dick Cheney, battery operated dick to the max, have to call every move?? Could there actually be some interactive exchange of ideas as George takes it up the ass and Dick positions himself, say politically.

  22. Joey Ratz

    The most amusing thing about the Ali G/Borat/Bruno phenomenon is how adept he is at finding clueless stooges to embarrass – and who could be more clueless than the good doctor? Touche, Mr. Cohen.

  23. AxmxZ

    [re=266720]gliberal[/re]: So Ali G was alive, Borat was… less alive…, and Bruno is the Heidelberg Faggot, neither dead nor alive with any degree of certainty?..

  24. gjdodger

    “Bruno” should have yelled after him, “Hey, you can’t have ‘Revolution’ without LOVE!”

  25. JeffGoldblum

    Listen here, ASSHOLE, American Racists are JUST AS MUCH A PART OF REAL AMERICA as American Homophobes! Our troops aren’t fighting in Arabia to save your Commie Ass from “9/11s” because they aren’t Racist or Homophobic enough. Anyway, my point is, AMERICA’S TROOPS ARE PLENTY HOMOPHOBIC AND RACIST, SO GET OFF THEIR FUCKING BACKS! NEVER 4GET

  26. Roger3815

    The only way that could be funnier is if Ron Paul was hit by a bus running away from the hotel.

  27. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=266762]JeffGoldblum[/re]: Ahh co-editor (THIS IS NOT JIM NEWELL’S FAULT. HE IS A FRENCH PERSON). You deserve 10 gold stars for that.

  28. JeffGoldblum

    Also, Bruno was always funnier than Borat.

    You’re welcome. My name is Dana and I open difficult jars for the elderly, professionally.

    Sincerely,
    JeffGoldblum

  29. toastandlove

    Ah, no, of course not “This guy tried to molest me in a hotel suite!”

    “This guy is a queer”.

    I would have never agreed to this sex tape if I knew he was a queer!

  30. WickedWitch

    The good doctor drives a baby-blue Buick, clutching the wheel like an old man. How can that man foment revolution??

  31. Botswana Meat Commission FC

    This is suspiciously close to the fan fiction I uploaded to RonPaulForums.com last year!

  32. Lazy Media

    [re=266677]Colander[/re]: Ron Paul is an idiot, but Sacha Baron Cohen is kind of a bad person (if a rather talented one). A rich guy tricking random people into behaving their worst is not social satire; it’s just snobbish bullying. Too bad he actually is talented, or his 15 minutes would already be up. Boo.

  33. ForTheTurnstiles

    [re=266823]Lazy Media[/re]: Ron Paul is not a random person.

    If someone is stupid enough to fall for this, then that person is a suitable object for social satire (as a symptom of a broader social problem, namely stupidity).

    Analogy: people used to whine that Simon Cowell was mean to people who tried their best on American Idol. Those people volunteered for that shit. The joke’s on them and it’s funny. They asked for the attention and they got it.

  34. Mr Blifil

    [re=266767]dougbob[/re]: Don’t discredit Paul for voting against Pi Day. Pi is little more than an approximation. RON PAUL VALUES EXACTITUDE.

  35. frumious_bandersnatch

    [re=266672]paparapapa[/re]: By ‘integrity’, I assume you mean ‘buttseks’, right? I get those two confused all the time too.

  36. thefrontpage

    Even in comedy, that was a crappy low-handed thing to do to Paul. Good for Paul for storming out! This movie will fail. “Borat” was funny, but ya’ can’t go back to the well too often with mockumentary-type stuff. It works sometimes, but not most of the time. What Cohen should be doing is following the Williams/Hanks/Sandler/Carrey route, and alternate goofy comedies with more serious dramas, showcasing both sides while gaining critical acclaim. But you keep doing “Borat”-style movies with hidden cameras and “Candid Camera”-type stunts, and it isn’t going to work for too long.

  37. DeLand DeLakes

    [re=266902]thefrontpage[/re]: No, Cohen TRIED to do a low-handed thing FOR Paul, but the wrinkly old fart wasn’t having it.
    And if I ever ran into a politician who has build his lunatic circus of a base by alternately screaming “FREEDUMB” and railing for “the pplz’s” ability to control when, if and how women have children, let’s just say I would not begin by offering him a handjob. Cohen was taking the high road.

  38. Atlas Spanked

    Bruno was always Cohen’s best character. And homophobes will be the least of it. The fashionista world will be revealed in all it’s utterly irrelevant self-absorbed glory. No worries about them getting the joke ahead of time. It’ll be sweet.

  39. Accordion-o-rama

    I look forward to SBC’s next film where he takes a dump in front of various people to watch their hilarious reactions. Man, this guy is an artist.

  40. Zadig

    [re=266902]thefrontpage[/re]: You honestly think that Cohen should throw away a perfectly good M.O. and follow in the footsteps of Adam Sandler and Jim Carrey, of all people? I don’t know what to say, there’s just no help for you. I don’t even know how you could have gotten here except by a google search for “Gay Sex Ron Paul”.

  41. Squiggyfm

    You know if you re arrange the letters in Ron Paul you get “Pornula”. Think about it.

  42. thatonegirlsays

    I don’t like when the paultardtrolls are earnest and doe-eyed. Bring me your wingnutty, your insane, your paultards who don’t underststand punctuation.

  43. Biscuit

    Cohen doesn’t know what he’s getting into. Don’t be surprised if his home phone, home address, and personal e-mail show up on Ronpaulforums and the guy gets blasted with indignant paultards. Just ask the former MI Republican party chairman.

    It’s no surprise that 70 year old Paul didn’t get the set-up, but shouldn’t his (presumably) younger staff have suspected something was up?

  44. Zadig

    [re=266995]thatonegirlsays[/re]: The earnestness just makes it so much better if you can manage to break them. You get to watch their faces fall as they find out just how batshit crazy their hero is, and/or the fantastic, reason-defying denial.

    I am a terrible person, and it’s so much fun.

  45. norbizness

    [re=266959]Accordion-o-rama[/re]: Tom Green wants a time machine so he can go back and work on wigs n’ accents and reclaim his schtick.

  46. blackjesus

    Paultards certainly have their faults.

    But when I read the comments on wonkette I’m always somehow reminded of:

    http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2004/03/19/

    Wasn’t Paul’s former campaign manager gay? The Snider guy who died of an (supposedly) aids related illness?

    And heck, I know if I was cornered in a dark room with a man much younger and stronger than me dropping his pants and propositioning me for sex I would have calmly and collectively explained that I was not a homosexual and to please allow me to leave calmly. Yep, that’s how it would go. No storming out and definitely no yelling. That’s just plain homophobic.

  47. Zadig

    [re=267090]blackjesus[/re]: With regard to wonketteer commentary, I believe the saying goes: “If you can’t take the heat, stay out of the ravening maw of Belial’s hell-furnace.”

  48. problemwithcaring

    [re=267090]blackjesus[/re]: When I read the comments on wonkette I’m always somehow reminded of why I hate people who write: “Wow. Just Wow.” and then proceed to write more. I just fucking hate that. Sorry.

  49. Bruno

    I should have leaked this during the election. Then you’d all be sorry, because McCain would pick up all the pro-queer Paul supporters and we would have a real american in power now, not a usurper.

  50. Bruno

    [re=267090]blackjesus[/re]: I don’t know. You want to give it a try? Where do you live? Send pixxx ASAP

  51. DustBowlBlues

    For the love of god, will someone tell me what that photo is? I thought it looked like Sean Bean in Sharpe’s Rifles for a minute, then I saw the blimp. This is driving me insane. Help me?

  52. Liberty

    I’m embarrassed for all the bailouts and all the increased troops to the middle east more than I am about this. Paul just wants to reach the youth, he was tricked.

  53. Liberty

    Even John F.Kennedy tried to back our currency by silver again and wanted no part in the Vietnam war. Sounds a lot like what Ron Paul wants for the country. Less war, stronger dollar. It’s a disgrace Bruno did that to a man who is fighting so hard for our country. It’s funny to me Obama is hailed as the next JFK when he’s a big war monger and gives our money to bailout big bankers.

  54. Liberty

    Anyone who voted for Obama should be embarrassed they were duped. When are we going to see through this left right paradigm and demand real change, the change JOhn F. Kennedy tried before he was killed, the same changes Ron Paul wants for this country?

Comments are closed.