Wonkette
You all catch CNN’s Reliables Sources the other day, about Jon Stewart? Exactly, so here’s a little summary. Tucker Carlson, he has not gotten over “it” from four years ago, and also he works for an NBC company, so… yeah.
Then Howard Kurtz gives his important final media criticism that starts, “the notion that Jim Cramer and/or CNBC are singlehandedly responsible for BLOWING the biggest financial story of the last decade is totally unfair.” GAHHH no one says these things, Howie! People have this amateurish tendency to assume that if someone is criticizing one aspect of a major problem, that person is BLAMING that one aspect for the entire problem. And on top of that, Tucker Carlson is gay.
[YouTube]
f1rstttt
Ahhh poor Tucker. If he’s still bitter about Jon Stewart destroying his career as a “serious” “pundit” then I’d hate to ask what he thinks of “Dancing With The Stars” as he was the 1st eliminated on S3 of the show.
blatant ass-hattery
Becky Quick is still hot.
Watching this video earlier today made my day. I urge all Wonketters to pour yourself a coffee, hit the play button, and sit back in you chair and enjoy the resentment-a-la Tucker.
The douchebag is lucky to have a job after being bitch slapped by John Stewart a couple of years ago. He should shut his pie-hole.
Tucker Carlson, the poor mans Dan Abrahms.
And yet Tucker hasn’t worn a bow tie since that fateful day….
Did Tucker Carlson have a medical license to practice in New Jersey? Ya know, on top of it all, the worst aspect of these yuppie GOPtards (besides philosophy) is that they refuse to acknowledge that they have been FACED.
Cramer at least had some balls to show up and take it, as mewing as he was.
Carlson never would. He’s like a high school kid on the tennis team who thinks he’s great. When he loses, he says he wasn’t even trying and, besides, his dad owns a BMW dealership and everyone else sucks.
We get it, Pucker. You were smited by a comedian, a Heeb at that, and you fear their still chuckling about that at yer country club. Get OVER it, man. Thy name is douche.
hahaha… Tucker Carlson is accusing Jim Cramer of “butt sniffing” Jon Stewart?
Tucker, you clueless fuckwit, the phrase “butt sniffing” describes your entire life.
I see he’s traded in the bowtie for a flaming pink necktie, it being a manlier look.
Sorry but you breeders can’t lay Tucker off on us. He’s all yours heterosexuals.
Proof?
The man is a fashion victim if ever there was one. Seriously, how many gay men have you seen wearing bow ties? Zero.
…totally unfair.
I remember the days when newscasters could at least talk like articulate adults, not self-absorbed teenagers.
Tucker should’ve taken Stewart’s advice and gone to J-school. Or at least gone away. For good.
Oh, and Vartan84, that shit is really stupid and not necessary here.
Tucker Carlson, trying desperately to hitch a ride aboard the Jon Stewart gravy train. How much lower can he sink?
Well, for starters, his name is still Tucker.
I noticed that Tucker conspicuously quit wearing his bow tie after Jon made fun of him that day on Crossfire. Said something like ‘he’s the only guy over 8 years old who still wears a bow tie.’
I read that Tucker is a trust fund baby who used his parent’s influence to get any job he has ever had. He also has about 6 kids–which is truly unfortunate!
worrytron: You beat me to the bow tie reference!
hobospacejungle: “Oh, and Vartan84, that shit is really stupid and not necessary here.” I noticed they did that on Barry’s web site during the elections. It’s like they thought they were on PerezHilton.com.
Tonight Larry King will have an ex-girlfriend John Stewart yelled at in a restaurant once. Her assertion is that Jim Cramer “was treated totally unfair” and that John “didn’t have to be a dick in front of their friends.”
Nice to see CNN pundits pontificating on a comedy show. Do they hash out SNL skits, too? What next, indepth analysis of Statler and Waldorf?
Roger3815: You mean “business wear/dipshit pundit bowtie” and not formal tux bowtie, right? Because I think you’re forgetting the “bow-tie collar with no shirt” look the gay male strippers rock.
Texan Bulldoggette: All those kids must be via invitro…because, think about it, ewwwwww
Oh I know some gays who wear bow ties. The one thing they all have in common is they’re Republicans.
“the worst aspect of these yuppie GOPtards (besides philosophy) is that they refuse to acknowledge that they have been FACED.”
They’re never mad that they’ve been spending their lives lying for the establishment or lazily whoring to promote whatever propaganda of the time, paid or not, they’re mad that they’ve been called out on it.
Does it change their ways? No. Does it give the public another view of the problems and their spokespeople? By God I hope so.
I think this might make for a great anthropological study of the species, Cablus Talking Headite: The ancestor, Jimus Crameropus rises up and just when he starts really spreading his wings, Johnus Stewartlopis devours him. And, then, just as the Stewartlopis’ powers start to dwarf the rest of the species, along comes Tuckeritis Carlsonion, knocking him back to earth. I’m pretty sure next up will be Meghanite McCainus, who will destroy all that’s left of the inferior members of the species.
Tucker Carlson accusing anybody of being sanctimonious is so ironic that it’s close to being performance art.
“Sanctimonious lecture”
Wow. I think there’s some old saw about pots and kettles that fits nicely here.
“I’m sure his wife was ashamed”
Way to attack his masculinity, bow-tie wearing man!
He apparently missed the lead in to the interview. Cramer was part of a general attack on CNBC after Rick Santelli’s comments about over leveraged mortgage holders being “losers” with no reference at all made to the budget.
Wow, I haven’t seen dear old Tucker since he got shit-canned from his own show. He’s sporting some Glen Beck level extra-chinnage here.
“Butt-sniffing?” Are you sure you meant to say that Pucker? Butt sniffing??? Really??? I don’t think that means what you think it means. Seems you have once again exposed yourself as the queefing little idiot-girl you desperately wish you weren’t.
There once was a pundit named Tucker,
Who wore only bowties and seersucker,
He shot off his mouth,
To the north and the south,
Poor Fucker. He’s failed at everything he ever attempted (two cancelled shows, that dancing thing…) except (allegedly) impregnating his wife several times, and he now acts like an overcaffinated 12 year old.
If you are glutton for punishment, you can read Tucker continuing his rant in a Washington Post online chat. It even includes a few comments from a certain Wonkette Emerita.
Tucker is too stupid and bitter to understand Jon Stewart, probably too bitter to even watch Jon Stewart, which must be why he assumes there is no satire of Democratic elected officials.
Just wait until Tucker and a friend get Jon Stewart alone in a restroom.
By the way, “huevos” are eggs, you fucking idiot. Are you saying John Stewart lacks ovaries?
“Because in the end, Jon Stewart is a partisan hack. Plus, he’ll never look manly in leather.” http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2154/2335568694_33dc2f13bc.jpg?v=0
Advocatus_Diaboli: Of course not. I said it as an existential commentary on the ass-hattery of Tucker Carlson & friends (who if I remember correctly reads your wonkette on occassion, so if he sees this HI TUCKER!) We are all adults here, don’t tell me what to do, if you had thought about it you’d have seen past the superficial layer of my comment and transcended to the deeper level of greater truth I was getting at with the statement.
Kierkegaard used to f1rsttttt all the time.
stew: Huevos Spanish slang for balls, or testicles.
True story: I was the recreation director at a resort in Florida last year. We had rainy weather on Easter, so we moved our kids activities into a ballroom (bounce house, sumo wrestling, etc.). This dude in a polo shirt, pleated front shorts, and wicker loafers came walking into the ballroom with four rail-thin women with absurdly straight waist-length (or longer) hair, all wearing jeans and tank tops. This group caught my eye because they were just so odd-looking, what with the matching women who looked like they should be on a compound somewhere. The dude, of course, was Tucker Carlson, who asked me to ask if adults could use the sumo suits, too. Two things I noticed about him: (1) He definitely blowdries his hair, and (2) he has fantastic skin. Anyway, he and one of the ladies in his harem got suited up and wrestled, while another took pictures. It was weird. He’s still a douche.
BillyClubb: In that case, I’ll never order Huevos Rancheros again!
Aww, Tucker needs to wear big boy long pants in addition to regular ties. If he wanted to say anything critical and constructive, he could have pointed out the absurdity of talking about a comedy show and its importance to our national discourse with complete seriousness.
BillyClubb: We need Morbo the News Monster.
Vartan84: Kierkegaard is a troll.
stew: Oh gawd, those Mexican restaurants have been feeding me balls for years! Does that make me gay? ‘Cause I don’t dress any better.
“Butt sniffing”
“Butt boy”
Are we sure Tucker isn’t gay? Seems awfully anally fixated to be just poor toilet training.
A partison hack accusing others of being partisan hacks? A pundit who tries to grill individuals (unsuccessfully) attacking a comedian who grills people regularly?
TUCKER, YOU TRY SO HARD TO BE LIKE STEWART. Poor little man.
Howie don’t get it. Jon was saying the Cee Nothng Before it Crashes was acting as a mouthpiece, as in Faux News, for wail street. They were shamelessly sweetly interviewing people that are now hiding out in shacks & 7 million dollar penthouses to avoid capture. Jon never said they were the cause. That’s right Howie, boil everything down to a kindergarten level of one cause, so everyone will leave wail street alone. As Prez said, these people can’t multitask, not even in their brains. PS: Ferrell was brilliant as dumbya this weekend. He tore thru dumbya’s one celled brain with abandon. It’s interesting how the great wits of our time are prosecuting & winning against these cronies of the ragan & dumbya era in public opinion. Prez should have a Secretary of Wittisisms.
Texan Bulldoggette: Tucker’s father, Richard Carlson, was a news anchor in California in the 1970’s. Richard Carlson became the director of Voice of America during the Regan and G.H.W. Bush administrations and spent most of the 1990’s as CEO of the Corporation for Public Broadcasting (A quasi public governmental organization). Tucker’s mother is a principal heir to the Swanson Foods legacy. On peculiar job was as a ‘reporter’ for the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette in the early 1990’s. Did that have any connection with the early smears of Bill Clinton?
Jon Stewart gave Jim Cramer a beating on television and it was beautiful. His show (and others) should have been called out by the NEWS outlets, not The Daily Show. Thanks, Jon.
As for Tucker Carlson … cry baby.
Come here a minute: “Wah! Jon Stewart is such a phony!”
And Tucker Carlson is a real…what? Srsly. Could someone tell me?
stew: balls=cojones. So you are safe with the huevos.
Gallowglass: Of course he thinks Cramer’s wife should be ashamed and his masculinity. The only successful thing he has done is father six children so I can understand his inordinate pride about not shooting blanks.
snideinplainsight:
….and was shot back into
when he turned pro cocksucker.
shortsshortsshorts: You just cut off Tucker’s huevos!
killerbee: That is terrifying. Is this what a certain fetid strain of nearly extinct Republican WASPs do for “fun”? Sumo suits?
Tucker looks like he uses hairspray in addition to the blow dryer.
Tucker wakes up in a cold sweat every night, screaming “CROSSFIRE!”. He is soooooo not over it.
Roger3815: Seconded. I mean, Sweet Jesus’s testicles, already.
That Tucker came off as a douche is no surprise. What really disturbed me was that he hasn’t come up with anything new to lob at Stewart in over four years. His one main example- an interview Stewart did with John Kerry in 2004, is the exact same example he used in that infamous ‘Crossfire’ episode. Even the “butt-sniffing” is recycled- he accused Stewart of “sniffing Kerry’s throne” way back then- kind if a disturbing fixation in itself.
WindbagCity: I’m re-watching the Crossfire video and I just saw that too. What a prick.
Sweet Creamy Jesus with a Soft Gooey Center! Tucker is SO obssessed with “butt sniffing” and who is a “butt boy” for whom. And he wears a pink tie, of all things, while obssessing over such things (at least he graduated from the stupid bow tie). However, what really got me was the claim about being “least partisan person I know”. Yeah, if by “partisan” you mean someone with even an ounce of integrity. I eagerly await Jon Stewart’s imminent withering demolition of this douche hole.
There is no one douchier than Mr. Tucker Carlson. How about his little CPAC speech touting his conservative credentials as having seriously contemplated stockpiling weapons and food and moving to Idaho. What a moron.
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/
Cicada: I believe that’s termed, “premature ejaculation”.
PLEASE let Jon Stewart come back at this bowtie wearing shart bubble. Dude really should keep Stewart’s name out of his mouth.
And I love how Howie’s “final thought” a-la Jerry Springer is totally invalidated by the statement the bald dude made preceding it.
Tucker needs to wear Trucknutz for a tie, also.
S.Luggo: Although immature ejaculation seems more his style.
The sad and hilarious thing about this is when a person is the recipient of one of the most complete and devastating bringdowns ever aired (the Stewart/Crossfire interview) there is NEVER a good time to go on the air and attack the person who skinned you alive on camera, even if several years have elapsed. It will always come across as an ineffectual, vapid, and pathetic whine. Did I say pathetic? Oh, yeah. I covered that one. It’s sniveling that I left out.
Fucker Carlson still has a TV show?
Hadn’t noticed.
Ha-ha! Now Jon Stewart has an excuse to kick Tucker’s ass AGAIN!
hate Stewart he may, but he stopped wearing those horrible bow ties…although that pink abortion around his neck is only barely better.
I was a little surprised that the big boy neck-wear wasn’t more slimming. Considering Tuck’s mom, Mrs. Swanson, pioneered Man-Handlers, I suppose being insecure about his masculinity was as inevitable as his nascent Limbo jowls.
Gay? Well, he DOES have Harvey Milk hair.
WIDTAP: I don’t know if he’s gay or not, but whenever he has a night out on the town his condoms all get shit-faced.
queeraselvis v 2.0: Tucker looked like he had to pee really, really bad…
In the word of heavy weapons guy: AHAHAHAHA! CRY SOME MORE!
Roger3815: Seriously, how many gay men have you seen wearing bow ties? Zero.
Ahem.
Jeebus - it’s getting pretty messy to clean up after each one of these idiots has a flipping meltdown. Who’s next?
phineas_bounderby: you forgot petulant.
Tucker is a refugee in TV land, lugging his pretensions from show to show, trying to stay a step ahead of the Jon Stewarts and others who have the nerve to say, “Christ, why is anyone paying you to talk, let alone on TV?” Deep down, all of the professional bloviators — even Howie Kurtz — sweat bullets that one day, someone will point at them and burst out laughing, saying, “You get paid to do this shit?”
It would be the greater insult if Jon doesn’t acknowledge him at all. Flea on the dick of my dog
mylesfromnowhere: My thoughts exactly.
I’d rather see hid bow ties again, that tie he has on makes him look like Harvey Milk-Shake.
Nice tie, Tucker.
Douche.
Roger3815: Michael Musto has all of Tucker’s old bow-ties.
I actually saw this whole thing live…
This clip misses the part where tucker says he’s not at all partisan and then they laugh in his face and ridicule him as actually being the RIGHT WING side of crossfire… and they also run a clip of when Stewart went on Crossfire and made a fool of Tucker for destroying an opportunity to be a real news show with real debates…
He seemed bitter and embarrassed after that…
Maybe he can perfect his George Plimpton act and then sell cameras.
psilage: ok it was Intellivision .
Texan Bulldoggette: Why is it that you never hear about liberal trust fund babies? For trust fund babies to be Republicans seems to fly in the face of their whole philosophy of pulling yourself up by your bootstraps and making your own way in the world.
Brendan M.: FTW!
Once a dick…
Tucker is not gay… his tie sure as hell is, however!
“Such is the current crisis in American journalism that viewers are looking to a COMEDY show for insightful criticism of the bailout. Our in-depth 360-second panel will be tackling that story at the top of the hour.
But first: Lindsay Lohan’s latest club-hopping hijinx, & rumors of a Paris Hilton Playboy spread!
Brought to you by the makers of NutriSweet - NutriSweet: because permanent cognitive impairment is what made this country great.”
Tucker is so in the closet for Stewart.
Anyway, what about the FAIRNESS DOCKTRINE! SOMEBODIES MIGHT FORCE STEWARTS to have a GOP on the SHOW!!!11! OMFG
Roger3815: Hey! I know a gay man who wears bowties! Of course, he’s about 90. But he’s very dapper, British, with the cutest accent. He’s like a cross between Wilford Brimley in “Hard Day’s Night” and Queen Elizabeth.
And he can drink people one-third of his age under the table, night after night, while still holding forth with crisply-pronounced multisyllabic words.
AutomaticPilot: First step of pulling yourself up by your bootstraps and making your own way in the world, Young GOP style:
Select rich parents.
Anyway, the “pulling yourself up by your bootstraps and making your own way in the world” is just what they tell the 2nd Tier of the Repub Party to do. 2nd Tier = the Dumbshit Rednecks with Stockholm Syndrome who feel it’s their life’s mission to keep people from ever blaspheming against our wealthy (and fair! and good! and kind! and truly American! and … White!!!) Overlords.
stew: Yep, “huevos” (Spanish for “eggs”) is a fine old slang term for “testicles”. I’ve heard it here in SoCal all my life, along with “cojones”.
You don’t see any similarities of size and shape between balls and eggs? IMO, balls look more like eggs than they do like stones or nuts, as they’re sometimes called in English.
And I’ll bet you still eat nuts.
(Guffaw, snort, snicker …)