SUXORZ  12:17 pm March 16, 2009

Wonkette’s Triumphant SXSW Panel

by Sara K. Smith

Have you ever seen him in a photo without this hat? Well then.Your editor showed up at the Austin Convention Center well in advance of her panel and spent many fruitless minutes finding the registration booth, getting checked in, and assuring the registration people that she was not some impostor “Sarah Smith” from some non-Wonkette entity. Fortunately, this process went on long enough that she got to meet Mark McKinnon!

You know this dude, yes? Former Bush guy, then McCain guy, quit because he didn’t want to be mean to Barack Obama? He was very classy and nice to your editor, even though she wrote this slightly obnoxious thing about him just before the election. He apologized for the shitty weather.

A forty-minute Death March through the bowels of the Austin Convention Center ensued. Here is the thing about this center: You can get from the first floor to the fourth fairly easily, from the first to the second with some difficulty, and from the first to the third via precisely one (1) elevator that was nestled off in the film dorks’ area. So your gal went from floor 4 to 1 to 2 to 1 to 3, finally, to get to the glamorous Green Room where all the panelists hang out and talk shit about the plebes.

Following a brief conversation that consisted mostly of “Where is Zadi?” we shuffled off to our assigned room, which was a bit larger than your editor had anticipated, thus: frightening. But fourth panelist Zadi Diaz was there, hooray!

They wouldn't let you use your flash, so everything is blurry here.

That is Jeff Jarvis there in the photo, looking tall, as is his wont.

A pack of Republican web people lurked in the very center of the audience, and they did not care much for anyone pointing out how funny it was when Rebuild the Party got swamped with pleas for more Truck Nutz. However, these Republican lurkers were kept in line by the Obama people seated directly in front of them. Most of the controversy in the panel centered on whether a social media campaign is successful if it generates “buzz,” regardless of the quality or nature of the buzz.

(Answer: if the associated buzz involves finger-banging, the campaign is a success.)

Our noble moderator, Blogads’ own Henry Copeland (he is a Hero to Wonkette because he sells that ads that keep your editors from raiding the cat food pantry for sustenance, thank you Henry!), ventured that a successful campaign did not “pollute” the general atmosphere. So of course afterwards certain Republicans were overheard grumping about how Wonkette was the real “polluter.”

He had on nice sneakers.
And then we met Markos “Daily” Kos, who was super nice! We talked about how Sarah Palin was a blessing and a gift, and proof that Jesus loves Democrats.

He's a vegetarian, probably!

And this looming plaid demon here is PETA’s Joel Bartlett, who brought our attention to the organization’s latest innovation: George Clooney-flavored tofu.

So hooray thank you South by Southwest, thank you Casino El Camino for the tasty burgers, thank you Henry for putting together a fun panel and Zsolt for staying awake even though it was midnight your time.

A link to some sort of recording of the panel — audio? video? audio, probably — will be made available if and when we ever figure out where it is.

 
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Hola wonkerados.

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{ 98 comments }

vitira March 16, 2009 at 12:25 pm

Don’t you know Daily “Daily” Kos is a known communist and terrorist?

ManchuCandidate March 16, 2009 at 12:30 pm

This Clooney flavored tofu better not be flavored with what I think it is.

Note to sore Repug web people. Just because you guys ran out of ideas doesn’t mean you should be begging the intertubes for them. That is as smart as inviting arsonists over to watch you swim in a pool of gasoline.

Where did you geek cred glasses go, SKS?

Dashboard_Buddha March 16, 2009 at 12:31 pm

Where’s the friggin’ music torrent for 2009? I can find it. Any ideas?

Terry March 16, 2009 at 12:32 pm

“He apologized for the shitty weather.”

He should have apologized for a shitty president.

P Drizzle March 16, 2009 at 12:32 pm

The question: how hard would I hit that?

The answer: not hard enough, my son.

Canuckledragger March 16, 2009 at 12:32 pm

SKS, I sure do hope you got MM’s autograph. That way you can prove to your future grandchildren that you once met the most rare of things, a Republican with a conscience and integrity.

[Yeah, the photo's good, but with Photoshop being what it is, it don't prove a damned thing.]

CrunchyKnee March 16, 2009 at 12:33 pm

SXSW used to be cool, now itz all about the TRUCKNUTZ.

The Neoskeptic March 16, 2009 at 12:34 pm

i had no idea Sara was so pretty. all that and brains, too. methinks i’m smitten.

Serolf Divad March 16, 2009 at 12:34 pm

Once again my biggest objection to Wonkette is reaffirmed: not enough pictures of Sarah Smith. We should totally get one of these posts a day, at least.

sex towel March 16, 2009 at 12:34 pm

Not to get all Chris Matthews, but may I say “hot”? S. Smith, that is.

Serolf Divad March 16, 2009 at 12:36 pm

[re=266022]The Neoskeptic[/re]:

She’s our Maria Baritromo.

Cape Clod March 16, 2009 at 12:39 pm

Liberal web babes rule.

V572625694 March 16, 2009 at 12:39 pm

[re=266023]Serolf Divad[/re]: Second the motion. Those eyes, that smile. Ahhh…

Mahousu March 16, 2009 at 12:39 pm

[re=266014]ManchuCandidate[/re]: You’re talking about this, right? But then which Clooney byproduct would you prefer they use?

Scarab March 16, 2009 at 12:40 pm

If only she would lean toward me and pose with a smile [ sigh ].

AnnieGetYourFun March 16, 2009 at 12:40 pm

Wow, wait. Republicans are aware of Wonkette and its polluting tendencies? I don’t think anything has ever made me happier. It’s like getting that asshole from the football team to notice you leaving a bag of dog shit in his locker, yes, but still.

Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish! March 16, 2009 at 12:41 pm

I’d hit that except for the Harvard postmodern, Derrida-influenced pillow talk. Though Larry Summers once said Harvard girls made good sandwiches.

honkeyman March 16, 2009 at 12:42 pm

The image of OUR Sarah on a Death March through the bowels ….. ooooh, frisson. Sent a shiver up my leg. Not to mention my bowels.

BTW WTF is Wonkette doing in Texas anyhow????

S.Luggo March 16, 2009 at 12:43 pm
Valerie March 16, 2009 at 12:44 pm

Aw! Sara K(ute!) Smith

BillyClubb March 16, 2009 at 12:44 pm

They wouldn’t let you use your flash, so everything is blurry here.

Things are usually blurry in Austin — a liberal town with a Repub Governor who won’t accept money from the feds to help out unemployed Texans. Yep, try and figure that one out.

Colander March 16, 2009 at 12:45 pm

[re=266022]The Neoskeptic[/re]: Yeah, I was expecting a female Harvey Weinstein. Happy to be wrong (not that looks matter, you guys!).

Valerie March 16, 2009 at 12:45 pm

[re=266032]Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish![/re]: I think he meant grilled cheese.

ManchuCandidate March 16, 2009 at 12:46 pm

[re=266029]Mahousu[/re]:
How about none?

BillyClubb March 16, 2009 at 12:46 pm

Is it wrong to wish for a Sara K. Smith centerfold?

WikipediaBrown March 16, 2009 at 12:47 pm

Damn Sara is awfully photogenic. What’s more is that she’s a blogger!

BillyClubb March 16, 2009 at 12:48 pm

[re=266029]Mahousu[/re]: The comments for this “recipe book” are priceless!

Zadig March 16, 2009 at 12:49 pm

Speaking of SXSW, shouldn’t the Bloggies be announcing right now how our beloved Wonkette editors kicked the shit out of the combined might of Nate Silver and the Stuff White People Like guy?

sanantonerose March 16, 2009 at 12:50 pm

Yeah, that convention center doth sucketh. But we are ever so glad you came, saw, and conquered.

S.Luggo March 16, 2009 at 12:51 pm

[re=266030]Scarab[/re]: Before you come down with a case of priapism, notice that she lacks a set of lower teeth. Or maybe you view that as a plus.

Servo March 16, 2009 at 12:52 pm

I come to Wonkette just for the articles, man. I swear.

Zadig March 16, 2009 at 12:52 pm

[re=266047]Zadig[/re]: Oh yeah, and the Group Weblog category, because who cares about 8Asians or whatever?

jagorev March 16, 2009 at 12:54 pm

*fapfapfapfapfap*

The Huffington Pogue March 16, 2009 at 12:54 pm

Was Mark McKinnon entered in the Don Imus look-alike contest?

MARCdMan March 16, 2009 at 12:55 pm

[re=266035]S.Luggo[/re]: That was Liz Glover.

Anonymous Office Zombie March 16, 2009 at 12:56 pm

Ah, the grand TRUCK NUTZ! fiasco, a day that will live in infamy… God, that was fun.

magic titty March 16, 2009 at 12:56 pm

I like McKinnon’s jean jacket. And who doesn’t?
This man looks like a pleasant and smiling Don Imus.

vkladchik March 16, 2009 at 12:56 pm

Wait, Mark McKinnon finger-banged Sara K. Smith?

AllHat March 16, 2009 at 12:57 pm

Yes, but will there be a summit on ‘snark’?

magic titty March 16, 2009 at 12:58 pm

Is the plaid bookbag dude just stone fap fap fapping right there during the conference?

jagorev March 16, 2009 at 12:58 pm

I share the outrage at Sara’s apparent decision to ditch her hipster glasses (for contacts?)

BRING BACK THE GLASSES

BigDupa March 16, 2009 at 12:58 pm

Can somebody set up a quick poll- drill it? Sarah K Smith vs. Anne Marie Cox vs. ANWAR

lumpenprole March 16, 2009 at 1:00 pm

[re=266043]BillyClubb[/re]:
That would be just too much awesome, even for the internets.

shanemacgowan March 16, 2009 at 1:01 pm

Could you please tell the ad selling guy that we want more Campbell, less Coulter.

qwerty42 March 16, 2009 at 1:02 pm

“…they did not care much for anyone pointing out how funny it was when Rebuild the Party got swamped with pleas for more Truck Nutz….”
So they liked the suggestion “Be more gay”?

S.Luggo March 16, 2009 at 1:02 pm

[re=266056]MARCdMan[/re]: Well, duhhhhhh.

Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish! March 16, 2009 at 1:03 pm

SKS should have beaten the smug out of Kos with those Michelle Obama-like toned biceps of hers.
Or so I’ve heard.

snideinplainsight March 16, 2009 at 1:04 pm

Not to digress from the topic at hand (ahem) but MM with that hat-and-scarf combo is setting off my gaydar.

shanemacgowan March 16, 2009 at 1:06 pm

[re=266072]qwerty42[/re]: Win.

Colander March 16, 2009 at 1:06 pm

[re=266075]snideinplainsight[/re]: Mine too, but sometimes wives buy their husbands ghey scarves and they have to wear them or else they don’t love them anymore.

norbizness March 16, 2009 at 1:09 pm

True trivia: The main room at the Austin Convention Center Annex is larger than the Earth itself.

Is Jeff’s nickname still “Triangle Head”?

S.Luggo March 16, 2009 at 1:09 pm

[re=266064]jagorev[/re]: After discovering that they weren’t disinfected, she gave them back to Pareene. Or Newell. I always confuse the two.

Suds McKenzie March 16, 2009 at 1:11 pm

Wow, you met Walker Texas Ranger, .. awesome

Tra March 16, 2009 at 1:13 pm

[re=266054]jagorev[/re]: We had no idea you were that into Mark McKinnon.

Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish! March 16, 2009 at 1:15 pm

[re=266038]Colander[/re]: I’m proud to join you in this sentiment. Looks, as always, are a distant third to bank and being a furry.

norbizness March 16, 2009 at 1:16 pm

And that GOP dickhole shouldn’t be apologizing for the only fucking rain we’ve gotten in the last 18 months. Go back to Dallas, and then petition the Oklahoma Legislature to annex you, you scarf-wearing bumtickler.

hobospacejungle March 16, 2009 at 1:16 pm

I feel this thrill going up my leg.

NoWireHangers March 16, 2009 at 1:18 pm

Good job, Sara. However, I think you’d know better than to post pictures of yourself in this perv forum. Keep the comments clean, people!

Zadig March 16, 2009 at 1:18 pm

[re=266091]hobospacejungle[/re]: When SKS spoke at the panel, starbursts ricocheted around the room…

Fear of a Black Reagan March 16, 2009 at 1:19 pm

Mark McKinnon looks like Max Hardcore’s gay twin.

Fear of a Black Reagan March 16, 2009 at 1:20 pm

SKS, I sure do hope you got MM’s autograph. That way you can prove to your future grandchildren that you once met the most rare of things, a Republican with a conscience and integrity.

You haven’t heard him talk about unions, then…

AnnieGetYourFun March 16, 2009 at 1:20 pm

[re=266086]Tra[/re]: OR Daily Kos. But then, we ARE political junkies, so I guess it sort of makes some sense?

jagorev March 16, 2009 at 1:21 pm

[re=266086]Tra[/re]: What can I say, he’s Brokeback hawt.

Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish! March 16, 2009 at 1:21 pm

I don’t think anyone has said “splooge” yet. Just saying.

Fear of a Black Reagan March 16, 2009 at 1:22 pm

Moulitsas looks like he’d like to get finger-banged there…

TGY March 16, 2009 at 1:24 pm

You let Republicans in? And none of them asked about ‘warblogs’? They’re totally asleep at the switch, then.

DustBowlBlues March 16, 2009 at 1:24 pm

[re=266019]Canuckledragger[/re]: I just hope Sara, our cute-as-a-button editor didn’t get any douchey germs from MM. Granted, he refused to do a gut job on O’bama but expressed no such qualms about Clinton. And he used to be a Democrat, until he got a man crush on Junior Bush. Mark McKinnon is bag of burning dicks wrapped inside a sack of shit. A former Democrat turned whore for the likes of idiot-child Bush. WTF? Also.

pedestrian rage March 16, 2009 at 1:25 pm

I know I’m late to the party, but what’s up with the pictures? They’re clear, and seem to have been taken by some sort of computer-compatible device. Did Liz take the ol’ polaroid with her?

Mr Blifil March 16, 2009 at 1:29 pm

So now, what, Wonkette is in bed with Kos literally?

DustBowlBlues March 16, 2009 at 1:30 pm

[re=266075]snideinplainsight[/re]: Gaydar indeed. If the wifey made him wear the scarf, he should have forgone the cowboy hat. Besides, cowboy hats are silly unless you’re working outdoors and need to protect your eyes from the sun. Or sell country music CDs. MM is just a big, smelly fake.

davesnothere March 16, 2009 at 1:38 pm

Ohhhyeahhh! Campbell who?

TGY March 16, 2009 at 1:39 pm

[re=266107]pedestrian rage[/re]: The Babscam is Liz’s signature. You can’t do it with somebody else.

Suds McKenzie March 16, 2009 at 1:48 pm

Hey, its Morgan Web, from TeeVees X play.

One Yield Regular March 16, 2009 at 1:48 pm

Is there proof of the veracity of these lovely photos? I just assumed that “Sarah K. Smith” was a balding, aging agoraphobic white guy hunched over his computer and wearing pajamas.

pat robertsons personal trainer March 16, 2009 at 1:48 pm

SKS is just plain, good ol’ fashioned fucking gorgeous. also. starbursts.

Jenni B. March 16, 2009 at 1:52 pm

Dashboard_Buddha: try http://sites.google.com/site/sxsw2009torrent/. It’s in three parts.

Jenni B. March 16, 2009 at 1:53 pm

[re=266016]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: Try http://sites.google.com/site/sxsw2009torrent/. It’s in three parts.

assistant/atlas March 16, 2009 at 1:53 pm

[re=266092]NoWireHangers[/re]: Surely you know us better than that. But since it is our beloved editor, I will refrain from “I’d hit it” comments and go with a classy, gentlemanly “Yowza!” followed by a wolf whistle.

Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish! March 16, 2009 at 1:55 pm

Perhaps someone can post about “pocket pool” at DailyKos since the libtards need something to discuss over there amid the mutual backslapping fapping.

Dashboard_Buddha March 16, 2009 at 2:06 pm

[re=266158]Jenni B.[/re]: Thank you very much, Jenni B.

Tra March 16, 2009 at 2:10 pm

[re=266092]NoWireHangers[/re]: Hear, hear!

Of course, a few almost random, iron-fisted bannings would probably get everyone back in line.

DNotApply March 16, 2009 at 2:36 pm

starbusts

problemwithcaring March 16, 2009 at 2:56 pm

More proof that being PETA person makes you a spontaneous douche bag.

Custerwolf March 16, 2009 at 3:11 pm

[re=266022]The Neoskeptic[/re]: Methinks I now have teh gay.

Gallowglass March 16, 2009 at 3:23 pm

[re=266160]assistant/atlas[/re]: And banging our chairs on the table while our comically enormous eyes and tongues explode out of our heads.

Brendan M. March 16, 2009 at 3:33 pm

[re=266018]P Drizzle[/re]: [re=266022]The Neoskeptic[/re]: [re=266023]Serolf Divad[/re]: [re=266024]sex towel[/re]: [re=266027]Cape Clod[/re]: [re=266028]V572625694[/re]: [re=266030]Scarab[/re]: [re=266043]BillyClubb[/re]: [re=266045]WikipediaBrown[/re]: [re=266050]S.Luggo[/re]: [re=266054]jagorev[/re]: [re=266065]BigDupa[/re]: [re=266091]hobospacejungle[/re]: [re=266093]Zadig[/re]: [re=266149]pat robertsons personal trainer[/re]: [re=266148]One Yield Regular[/re]: [re=266220]DNotApply[/re]:

Wow, my feminist sensibilities are under assault. You’re all like classless, uninhibited Chris Matthewses, spewing your starbursts all over the screen. You know how you all make fun of right-wingers for watching all of Sarah Palin’s speeches, furiously, with their pants around their ankles? Well, you’re all hypocrites. I think I might have to become a PUMA now, thanks a lot. It’s all about the misogyny and the male privilege and the patriarchy…

Gallowglass March 16, 2009 at 3:37 pm

[re=266309]Brendan M.[/re]: Flattery will get you nowhere.

Barrett808 March 16, 2009 at 3:52 pm

OMG, SKS is so totally Mary Tyler Moore: “Who can turn the world on with her smile?”

prizepig March 16, 2009 at 3:55 pm

[re=266309]Brendan M.[/re]:
tits of GTFO

WIDTAP March 16, 2009 at 4:22 pm

[re=266309]Brendan M.[/re]: They are all just teasing. They really won’t go for Sara unless she endorsed buttsex, ala Ana Marie Cox. Wonkette traditionalists and all.

Atlas Spanked March 16, 2009 at 4:37 pm

I know, it’s a sad comment on my political acumen. But all I could think of while reading this post is “My Wonkette Editor is hawt.

All that smartness and snark is just the Cialis on top.

OReillysVibrator March 16, 2009 at 4:43 pm

How come no one told me Sara was cute?

liquiddaddy March 16, 2009 at 5:05 pm

Tools

sanantonerose March 16, 2009 at 5:06 pm

I was too distracted by Sara the first time around this post, but I’ve just noticed that Mark McKinnon is pretty damn cute. Of course, I’m a sucker for denim and white hats.

Sharif DelMonte March 16, 2009 at 5:34 pm

Drink at the Side Bar and/or The Creekside on 7th and Red River!

Mustang March 16, 2009 at 6:12 pm

I figured as how she’s smart and funny . . . she must be homely, but no-o-o-o-o-o! I’m jealous. Looks like Sara gets to take a victory lap in the gene pool.

anabellum March 16, 2009 at 8:56 pm

i made the mistake of going downtown for drinks…

Austin is suddenly full of the most un-fuckable people i’ve ever seen…

hurrah for the pretend economy!

hobospacejungle March 17, 2009 at 4:15 am

[re=266653]anabellum[/re]: You said it, honey/dude. Sara K. Smith is the exception, not the rule, at SXSW. And such exquisite cheekbones on our lovely lass.

*change to Wilford Brimley voice*

Used to be, when everyone wore an onion on their belt, SXSW was music-only (1989 or so.) You bought your wristband for $15, got on your bicycle and saw every band you wanted to see, unless some happened to be playing at the same time. Now you’re lucky to get into one venue each night, and you’d better not leave cuz you won’t be getting in anywhere else. And this is after paying $200+ (haven’t checked lately) for the privilege.

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