• May 25, 2012

Norm Coleman For RNC Chair!

by Sara K. Smith  

More hip-hop than Michael Steele!Senator Norm Coleman is famous for so many dumb things: for getting his wife mysteriously teleported into a re-election campaign commercial, for sleeping in a drawer, for making publicly available all the information you would need to go on a million-dollar Truck Nutz shopping spree using his donors’ credit cards. Also he continues to fail at winning re-election to the Senate. With at track record like this, he’s only got one place to go in the Republican party: up.

Some wiseacre Democratic operative is no doubt behind this latest rumor, but it is just too delicious not to run with. The Huffington Post informs us that the Politico reports that “If embattled RNC chairman Michael Steele fails to raise a respectable amount of funds and continues to trip all over himself with rhetorical gaffes, a certain soon-to-be-former Senator is waiting in the wings to take over the post.”

Also, Coleman is under investigation by the FBI for allegedly taking $75,000 from some dude, so he’s clearly a good fit for any leadership position.

The Republican Party would rather have a moldy hairball for its chairman than suffer another day with Michael Steele, is the point.

Norm Coleman Floated As RNC Chairman Despite Ethics Troubles [Huffington Post]

{ 56 comments }

ManchuCandidate March 16, 2009 at 11:11 am

Meanwhile George Allen angrily grips his precious football for a photo op that never was.

Godot March 16, 2009 at 11:12 am

I would support his being declared senator if “Gangsta Norman Blingee” because his new legal name, and was referred to as such in all Senate proceedings.

Serolf Divad March 16, 2009 at 11:12 am

Before this is all done Norm Coleman is going to hold ever job in America except Senator from Minnesota.

Texan Bulldoggette March 16, 2009 at 11:13 am

Didn’t Norm also have some guys buy him some suits? Which is just weird unless they were his sugar daddies. But in Norm’s defense, I’ve never heard him sing Barack the Magic Negro.

mdotsota March 16, 2009 at 11:15 am

Best Blingee evar?

WadISay March 16, 2009 at 11:17 am

He’s also probably upside down in his Crocus Hill Saint Paul home, so he’s a bailout candidate. However, he lacks Republican creds in the pagebuggery department. I’m sure it can be arranged.

jagorev March 16, 2009 at 11:17 am

So, once you go black, you can go back?!

TGY March 16, 2009 at 11:19 am

Cool. He can ‘chair’ things from his padded cell. Then again, it might be greatly desirable to have a chairman who’s in the slammer since he’ll never have to apologize to Rush.

shanemacgowan March 16, 2009 at 11:19 am

Since Rod Blagojevich’s name is on every RNC press release, I assumed he was the Chairman.

queeraselvis v 2.0 March 16, 2009 at 11:20 am

Nope. No RNC chair for Norm until there is a verifiable, YouTubed gay buttsecks in an airport bathroom scandal. After that, he’s gold.

Fivetree March 16, 2009 at 11:21 am

Ah, he was my next Blingee project and with that gorgeous photo as well. You beat me to it. Love IT!

magic titty March 16, 2009 at 11:23 am

Michael Steele should have droped a diss record – a la Jay-Z’s Takeover – when he won the Chair.
None of what has ensued would’ve happened if he did.

trondant March 16, 2009 at 11:24 am

NORM COLEMAN EATS HAY AND SHITS IN THE STREET.

He’s perfect for the RNC job. Can we keep him?

vitira March 16, 2009 at 11:25 am

Qualifications of Norm:

* Was governor of Saint Paul, built a hockey stadium (Seriously, this was his platform in 2002: “I built a hockey arena.” It’s a nice arena, but a qualification for Senator?)

* Was going to lose to Paul Wellstone but then his plane fell out of the sky and he basically beat a dead guy, or Walter Mondale, but only because he made a big deal out of Wellstone’s funeral, OH WAIT and he won by like two points in a VERY Republican year

* Was a completely useless Senator

* Couldn’t win against a comic

* Has whinged for three months that he should be Senator because he almost got as many votes as the other guy

Or in other words, here’s a guy who’s part of a group which votes mainly for Democrats and got in to office in a blue state COMPLETELY by happenstance and now wants to be RNC Chair. Yes, it’s a white, Jewish Michael Steele. Hooray!

Scarab March 16, 2009 at 11:26 am

Check your facts, I believe that’s a photo of Norma Nicoleman.
White Bear Lake High School, 1977 (go Bears!).
Sadly, she wasn’t very popular with the boys.

Godot March 16, 2009 at 11:27 am

BECAME his [re=265959]Godot[/re]: BECAME his new legal name, moran!

ThePerfesser March 16, 2009 at 11:29 am

It would be nice to have a white, heterosexual, unfaithful skirt chaser represent the Republican Party for a change. Even though he is Jewish. However.

And not a pederast. Also.

oldguy March 16, 2009 at 11:29 am

[re=265974]vitira[/re]: Well, building a rec center was enough for Sarah to run for VP.

mdotsota March 16, 2009 at 11:30 am

[re=265971]magic titty[/re]: R-N-C, we runnin this FAIL shit
M Steezy we runnin this FAIL shit
P-alin we runnin this FAIL shit
Ballots zipped up in plastic when it happens that’s it

you cannot be serious March 16, 2009 at 11:30 am

Republicans follow the FUMU school of leadership: Fuck Up, Move Up.

amuseinc March 16, 2009 at 11:31 am

Minnesota voters are presently requesting that all public toilets have a little plaque glued above the tp roll:

Free pictures of former Senator Norm Coleman.
Wipe to develop.

Anonymous Office Zombie March 16, 2009 at 11:32 am

Ha, ha! The bow was a nice touch.

Botswana Meat Commission FC March 16, 2009 at 11:33 am

The Huffington Post informs us that the Politico reports that

As reported by Twitter, from the producers who brought you Yahoo! McNews.

prizepig March 16, 2009 at 11:34 am

Prediction: Steele steps aside. Coleman tries to take over leadership. Spends the next 6 months in a legal entanglement with Joe Piscopo.

MarieDeGournay March 16, 2009 at 11:34 am

Woot! Let the Fail continue!

El Pinche March 16, 2009 at 11:35 am

Coleman needs to get busted for that $75,000.
An indictment is a Republican ph.D .

TestRat1 March 16, 2009 at 11:36 am

Was he in the movie Bless the Beast and Children?
Damn hippy.

El Pinche March 16, 2009 at 11:38 am

[re=265985]prizepig[/re]: My friend, you WIN . LOL!!!

amuseinc March 16, 2009 at 11:44 am

Norm was also a former roadie for the band “Ten Years After” where his major job was finding underage groupies. Should you want a real laugh look up Norm Coleman’s father’s last criminal act prior to dying… the acorn seldom falls far from the skirt-chasing tree. Though the elder Coleman was more into financial romances than Norm appears to be. Norm uses his charm and horseteeth ’cause he’s to cheap to pay to do the deed.

The Hobo Senator has a life filled with Republican family values…

2druk2phluq March 16, 2009 at 11:49 am

[re=265974]vitira[/re]: Why did you have to make me relive all those things? That’s the opposite direction of forgetting Norm Coleman exists, which would be the most positive outcome of anything having to do with him.

From the first moment I saw a Blingee at Wonkette I thought, “They are never going to get tired of posting Blingees.” I had no idea how right I was.

I noticed you used the sexy Coleman photo, Sara. Are you sweet on him?

magic titty March 16, 2009 at 11:50 am

[re=265980]mdotsota[/re]: That was fucking grand. Thank you.

TaxWallStreet March 16, 2009 at 11:52 am

“ManchuCandidate says at 11:11 am, March 16th, 2009 – ReplyMeanwhile George Allen angrily grips his precious football for a photo op that never was”

Wow, replacing Hip-hop McHousenegro with Maccaca McTrucknuts will really help the big tent

Trace March 16, 2009 at 11:52 am

There is no pill for this kind of incompetence.

Tommy Says Soooo, Jugdish! March 16, 2009 at 11:54 am

Republitards realized what happens when you let the brothers have the house keys…lots of Hennesey and the lily white Ole Miss Daughters of the Confederacy in the hot tubs pumping out the jams….

Feh, Coleman is a lock despite his religion, Eric Cantor stepped into its token crazy Jew role.

NoWireHangers March 16, 2009 at 11:57 am

[re=265994]TaxWallStreet[/re]: It will if the big tent is in a pair of pants…

gjdodger March 16, 2009 at 12:05 pm

I got news for you, Politico–Nahmie is already a “former Senator.” I haven’t noticed him voting lately. He’s trying to become a “once and future Senator.”

sezme March 16, 2009 at 12:13 pm

Prediction: Coleman will challenge Steele to a freestyle rap duel for the leadership of the RNC, and win.

Zadig March 16, 2009 at 12:14 pm

Joe the Plumber for RNC chairman. I mean, it’s not like he’s been qualified for any of his other careers, right? Fake plumber, fake campaigner, fake reporter, fake author; the natural next step is fake politician.

woke up liberal March 16, 2009 at 12:18 pm

Normie is a funny kind of Jew — the kind whose career has been bankrolled by the Catholic Register family. Ah…I love the smell of hypocrisy.

shortsshortsshorts March 16, 2009 at 12:20 pm

[re=265984]Botswana Meat Commission FC[/re]: Haha you’re back.

vitira March 16, 2009 at 12:26 pm

[re=265979]oldguy[/re]: HA true but she is not part of a minority that doesn’t generally vote Republican. She is a woman, though, too, also.

vitira March 16, 2009 at 12:29 pm

[re=265992]2druk2phluq[/re]: Remember how depressed we were back then in 2002? When we lost any shred of power and thought that George was going to scare the poors and bitters (before we even knew they were called bitters!) in to voting for him for King forever?

Now it’s so great, hooray! (oh, except for the economy part and the six more years of fuckuppery before Barry and Jesus came to save the day)

vitira March 16, 2009 at 12:31 pm

[re=266008]woke up liberal[/re]: It’s too bad no one made religion part of the MN-Sen campaign…seeing Al and Norm try to out-Jew each other would have been fantastic. Actually, let’s declare the seat vacant so we can have another election, and I’ll work on making that the new issue, and have a debate with both of them in black suits and black hats in the summer ftw.

Come here a minute March 16, 2009 at 12:37 pm

Norm was elected mayor of St. Paul as a Democrat, so it would be appropriate for him to replace the pro-choice Michael Steele as RNC chairman. Then, replacing Coleman, the RNC will elect a Democrat who will not switch parties to lead their party.

Dindc March 16, 2009 at 12:42 pm

When I was in high school, anyone who looked liked that was a complete stoner.

Oh, wait… Anyone who looks like that now is a complete stoner.

Oh, wait… I look like that now.

Oh wait…

Zadig March 16, 2009 at 12:45 pm

[re=266034]Dindc[/re]: The epiphanies just keep coming.

Cape Clod March 16, 2009 at 12:51 pm

[re=265974]vitira[/re]: You forgot to add ;”Got yelled at and shamed by former FEMA head Michael Brown, during congressional hearings on the Katrina debacle.”

americanscandoanything March 16, 2009 at 1:00 pm

lets not forget he was also toasted by Jesse Ventura…that’s pretty good fail cred

perhaps he should revive his student council slogan in his quest for the RNC chair

” these conservative kids don’t fuck or get high like we do ”

this is a sure winner…and will get strong support from the fat guy who rules republicants

Violenza March 16, 2009 at 1:02 pm

Wow, was that Blingee worth waiting for, or what? Gorgeous.

Crankenstank March 16, 2009 at 1:07 pm

Former is as former does.

frumious_bandersnatch March 16, 2009 at 1:08 pm

[re=265985]prizepig[/re]: I am slain. Here are the internets you won.

norbizness March 16, 2009 at 1:12 pm

His HS picture looks like the unnatural offspring between Micky Dolenz and Cousin It from The Addams Family.

NunnaTheSOBs March 16, 2009 at 1:30 pm

Mike Steel isn’t a FAST RNC chair;
Mike Steel ins’t a SLOW RNC chair;
Mike Steel is a HALFFAST RNC chair.

Norm Coleman — at least he won’t
be HALFFAST.

woke up liberal March 16, 2009 at 1:33 pm

[re=266015]vitira[/re]: It’s weird, isn’t it, that the seat has been in Jewish hands so long? Boschwitz, Wellstone…. you are right — a little davening, some Talmudic trivia. It’d be a NY nightmare.

keepinitrealyo March 16, 2009 at 3:13 pm

Vitter! Vitter! Vitter!

Custerwolf March 16, 2009 at 3:14 pm

[re=266085]norbizness[/re]: I think his face belongs on a grilled cheese sandwhich.

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