Justice For Anna Nicole

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  • Stocks rallied on Thursday, not because of good news for investors, but rather because news was not quite as bad as people had feared. [New York Times]
  • Anna Nicole Smith’s lawyer boyfriend and her doctor were both jailed because they helped her get so many pills. [CNN]
  • China’s looking for some assurance that the US will not default on its massive debts. [Bloomberg]
  • Now that Bernie Madoff is in jail without a plea deal, investigators are turning their attention to all the people Mr. Madoff failed to rat out. [BBC News]
  • Michael Steele will not be leaving his RNC post because Republicans hate drama and needlessly self-defeating hijinks. [Washington Post]
  • Barack Obama’s new President of Computers, Vivek Kundra, is on leave after the FBI raided his old office yesterday. He is not a part of the investigation but a couple people who worked in his old office most definitely are. [AP]

About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

View all articles by Sara K. Smith


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  • Giant Robot

    If Obama get the blame for a one day stock plunge, ergo he gets the credit for a one day rally. Thank you BO for your greatness.

  • Serolf Divad

    “Chairman Steele needs to reread the Bible, the U.S. Constitution and the 2008 GOP Platform,” [Ken] Blackwell said.

    I’m a little confused here: Blackwell’s talking as if those were three different documents.

  • donner_froh

    An aide to President Obama is on leave from his new job

    The only thing for the Prez to do is appoint everyone from the Clinton Administration to every policy making post.

  • donner_froh

    China’s Premier Wen Jiabao said he’s concerned about the safety of U.S. government debt

    An in yo’ face response to Geithner’s statements that China keeps its currency artificially low.

  • ManchuCandidate

    China: “You pay now! You pay now!”
    Barry: “China, you used to be so cool. What happened?”
    China: “I still cool.”

    As for US America’s Royalty, Anna Nicole Smith. Who knew that being an enabler had consequences?

  • shanemacgowan

    [re=264656]Serolf Divad[/re]: Only the 2008 GOP platform is infalable. The Bible has some transcription errors.

  • Mr Blifil

    Talk me down. I just learned that when TEH WIZARD OF UHHH… read the Harry Potter series to his daughters, his eyes were glued to the printed page. WHEN WILL THE MEDIA WAKE UP???

  • Cicada

    [re=264665]Mr Blifil[/re]: It’s okay man. Take deep breaths, read some Proust, and eat some arugula. That’ll get your ‘leetism levels back up and drive the moranity away.

  • Boojum

    “Michael Steele will not be leaving his RNC post because Republicans hate drama and needlessly self-defeating hijinks.”

    And teh gays hate teh buttsecks.

  • Jsab

    The SEARS TOWER is no more!
    <a href=”http://www.governmentalityblog.com/my_weblog/2009/03/hometown-heartbreak-sears-tower-no-more.html” http://www.governmentalityblog.com/my_weblog/2009/03/hometown-heartbreak-sears-tower-no-more.html

  • hobospacejungle

    [re=264665]Mr Blifil[/re]: Hey! I learned that, too! Stayed up until 5am reading that Fishbowl takedown engineered by…oh, I don’t know…Satan?

  • NewAlgier

    China has nothing to worry about. We’ll inflate first (debasing the currency), then default. China is like the Countrywide of countries.

    Another rumor made my heart sing this morning: http://www.businessinsider.com/henry-blodget-geithner-seen-as-a-mistake-steve-rattner-the-fallback-plan-2009-3

    Please let this be true.

  • wheelie

    [re=264659]allainjules[/re]: Yes, let’s talk Eurovision Song Contest AJ, it’s a pretty hot topic here. The Georgian Putin sucks and it’s a clear violation of the rules. The French song is not so bad; but not as good last year’s. My money is on the Norwegian kid to win.

  • psilage

    And who wrote the copy on the Will Farrell thing?
    I’m thinking Campbell Brown.

  • TGY

    Whatever happened to the good old stocks? Those were the kind you could lock people up in.

  • NoWireHangers

    If The Law is going to start rounding up the people that prescribe prescription drugs to addicts then a whole lots of doctors are gonna be out of work. They can start by arresting Paula Abdul’s.

  • masterdebater

    “China’s looking for some assurance that the US will not default on its massive debts.”

    Look, we promised. That should be good enough.

  • Min

    I say we pay China in Monopoly money.

  • Uncle Glenny

    [re=264742]NoWireHangers[/re]: Without reference to this case on my part, the law is a bit too overzealous in terrorizing prescribers of pain meds. What apparently has happened is that some doctors become afraid to prescribe larger doses to people in chronic pain who develop tolerance, so they end up going to the doctor who will, who then appears to the DEA to be over-prescribing.

    It’s kind of like downgrading the good teacher who handles all the difficult kids.

    One of the few good things John Tierny of the New York Times did as an op-ed columnist was harp on this occasionally.

  • S.Luggo

    Unless he sets fire to a basket of yelping new born puppies under the Rotunda, Steele isn’t going anywhere.

  • Custerwolf

    [re=264794]Uncle Glenny[/re]: I think all the people who bought Playboy and who watched her reality show should be charged for supplying her with the money to buy said pills.

  • El Pinche

    I hope they throw Madoff’s whole family in the brig, including his wife.


  • SayItWithWookies

    [re=264671]Jsab[/re]: Holy crap — those homeless rastafarians in Miami actually did it!

  • Campbell-on-CNN

    [re=264676]psilage[/re]: HEY! Don’t say that like its a bad thing.

  • mylesfromnowhere

    http://aussiebuttcream.com/prevention.html for those convicted with Madoff. Let’s don’t forget that a lot of those busted drug dealers/gang leaders had funneled large sums of gang monies into that high-rollin’ market, both stocks and housing. Guess who’s really going to get fucked.

  • donner_froh

    [re=264673]NewAlgier[/re]: Henry Blodget? Shouldn’t he be busy pumping and dumping some worthless interweb stocks?

  • masterdebater

    Subject: “Justice For Anna Nicole”

    “I was, like, going to a rally, and people were like, all, “No justice, snow peas”. Anyway, I couldn’t figure out what they meant, so, I like, went home. Also.”

    (Overheard at an Alaska restaurant)