AUSTIN/SANTELLI 2012  5:22 pm March 11, 2009

Someone Please Decipher What This Small Town Mayor *Means*

by Jim Newell

Your Wonkette loves its small-town Republican mayors who overshare their dumb little Obama jokes, so here’s some guy named Boyd Austin. A Wonkette Facebook troll operative claims that Austin is the mayor of something called “Dallas, Georgia.” And in his spare time, Austin likes to update his Facebook status with some of those wacky n***er jokes. Well, who knows what this really means.

 
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{ 80 comments }

V572625694 March 11, 2009 at 5:26 pm

Shoulda been Kools, anyway, you crackah-assed crackah.

SayItWithWookies March 11, 2009 at 5:28 pm

Is Dallas, Georgia a sister city with Miami, Ohio?
Also, I can’t say that’s racist. Menthols would’ve crossed the line, but Camels are okay.

CaliforniaMike March 11, 2009 at 5:29 pm

With all the inbreeding crackas have to do to reporduce, you’d think hemophilia would have wiped them out by now.

shortsshortsshorts March 11, 2009 at 5:31 pm

His status last night was “Boyd Austin ASMOPAjr2323j90pM!!11″

Holden Caulfield March 11, 2009 at 5:32 pm

Obviously the Bull and Camel is a British-style pub in the quaint village of Dallas, Georgia. What else could it mean?

plowman March 11, 2009 at 5:34 pm

Newports, man, Newports!

NoWireHangers March 11, 2009 at 5:34 pm

What is “a quart of the bull”? Anyone speak wingnut?

Inadequate Blackmail March 11, 2009 at 5:34 pm

Yet another Georgian obsessed with fucking livestock.

Vanity Smurf March 11, 2009 at 5:35 pm

Dallas, Georgia? That sounds like shit-hole squared.

Come here a minute March 11, 2009 at 5:36 pm

Devotionals

He’s a Christian–who ever would have guessed?:

Fox n Fiends March 11, 2009 at 5:36 pm

that limey woulda loved it

NoWireHangers March 11, 2009 at 5:37 pm

It doesn’t seem racist. I mean, I could think much better racist jokes that were easier to understand.

Lazy Media March 11, 2009 at 5:38 pm

Georgia’s not really that bad, except for the Atlanta exurbs. They’re full of the worst people in the world, next to the Sudanese government: smug, racist fair-taxers who think Rick Warren is spiritually profound. Most of them were born out of state.

JGB March 11, 2009 at 5:39 pm

Quart of the bull = bull sperm. They drink it like milk in Dallas, Georgia.

Mustang March 11, 2009 at 5:40 pm

[re=263030]NoWireHangers[/re]: Must be referring to malt liquor, but I’ll be darned if I get the Camels thing.

Lazy Media March 11, 2009 at 5:40 pm

[re=263030]NoWireHangers[/re]: The Schlitz Malt Liquor bull. The negro’s India Pale Ale. He really should have said “a 40 of the bull.”

finland March 11, 2009 at 5:42 pm

it’s clear he meant the red bull (putting “the” in front of the wrong things is the only adorable grammatical tic shared by both foghorn leghorn southerners and my soviet immigrant parents) and physical camels. like the kind that muslins have. so you drink some red bull then go out and do something to some camels. because obama is a muslin. guh.

nosnikreplliw March 11, 2009 at 5:43 pm

quart of the bull = schlitz malt liquor

Dreamer March 11, 2009 at 5:44 pm

Jim, I like to bring to your attention something better than an illiterate republican mayor – thrashing of your least favourite author – David Denby by a too bit critic from Toronto. During my visit to my parents in Toronto, I was sitting in one of those pretentious café’s in Toronto’s Yorkville when I came across the Eye Weekly – it is a free weekly paper hat usually has nice reviews and information about art scene in Toronto (you should ignore the classified pages). Here is the review: Snark is FAIL: http://www.eyeweekly.com/arts/books/article/53796

I didn’t want to send you this in an email lest I be labelled David Deny troll or Eye Weekly troll.

Gallowglass March 11, 2009 at 5:44 pm

Silly rabbit, everyone knows black people smoke Kools, or some other menthol-rich brand, not Camels. The gentleman’s xenophobia has become so overpowering that he is unwilling to learn enough to construct a proper stereotype

Anarm Anoleg March 11, 2009 at 5:45 pm

Today we are all Georgians.

HopeyDope March 11, 2009 at 5:48 pm

They sell malt liquor in quarts? Georgia sure is progressive.

Gallowglass March 11, 2009 at 5:49 pm

Now if this had come from Dallas, Oregon (oh yeah, there’s a Dallas here too) I could understand, since it is a distinct possibility that the mayor of Dallas, OR has never met a black person. But Georgia? Unlikely.

Mustang March 11, 2009 at 5:49 pm

I’ve just done some extensive research (googled brand obama smokes) and it seems to be Marlboro reds, not the stereotypical menthols.

shortsshortsshorts March 11, 2009 at 5:54 pm

[re=263045]Anarm Anoleg[/re]: WIN.

SpikeyDog March 11, 2009 at 5:56 pm

Section 5-3 of their alcohol control laws states the following is not allowed where alcohol is sold :
(3) The displaying of any portion of the female breast below the top of the
areola or the displaying of any portion of any person’s pubic hair, anus, cleft of
the buttocks, vulva, or genitals.

Redneck crackers have to do their inbreeding and buttsects outside in their pick up trucks

Canuckledragger March 11, 2009 at 5:57 pm

Since they’re my brand, I’LL take the Camels, thanx.

But Hopey, a word of caution. No open car motorcades in Dallas, Georgia, OK?

Time to spin the Blues Magoos “Never Goin’ Back To Georgia.” It became something of a theme song for me after cops in Folkston, GA threatened to kill me and dump my body in the bush back in late ’70. My crime? Hitchhiking. I’m sure little has changed.

NoWireHangers March 11, 2009 at 6:04 pm

[re=263039]Mustang[/re]: [re=263040]Lazy Media[/re]: O I C

[re=263035]NoWireHangers[/re]: So it is horribly racist, muddled, but still horribly racist.

CollegeStudent March 11, 2009 at 6:10 pm

Will PM Brown and Prez Obama pour some Bull out for the homies?

El Pinche March 11, 2009 at 6:16 pm

Something tells me that Boyd Austin fucks farm animals.

johnnyrocket94158 March 11, 2009 at 6:25 pm

The “bull” I presume is Colt .45. The malt liquor of the pimp with a discerning palate.

Red Zeppelin March 11, 2009 at 6:25 pm

[re=263040]Lazy Media[/re]: Yeah, I get the feeling Boyd don’t be chillin with the brothers all that often. Although he might be right about the Camels–didn’t Camels have a brand Kamel or some shit that came in a packet that looked like something that would have been issued to the Red Army in the 1930s? Clearly, that would be Comrade Obama’s smoke.

President Beeblebrox March 11, 2009 at 6:28 pm

[re=263044]Gallowglass[/re]: Newports.

american mutt March 11, 2009 at 6:43 pm

[re=263064]Canuckledragger[/re]:

I’ll never go back to georgia:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGkcV-Rp_k0

bitchincamaro March 11, 2009 at 6:48 pm

[re=263064]Canuckledragger[/re]: Ha. Blues Magoos. My first rock show! Dont’ make me get my scrapbook out, I’d have to find my glasses in order to find my walker.

Numbat Dundee March 11, 2009 at 6:52 pm

Is there anyone south of the Mason Dixon line with a normal given name? Are there southern Tims or Roberts who are picked on for being weird and not being called “Boyd” or “Saxby” like normal crackers?

Lascauxcaveman March 11, 2009 at 6:57 pm

Speaking of camels, today I saw a Joe Camel window sticker that was so stupid it was actually kinda funny.

chascates March 11, 2009 at 6:57 pm

[re=263122]Numbat Dundee[/re]: Tim would have to be called ‘Tim Roy’ or ‘Tim Bob’ or such. Nicknames are applied otherwise such as ‘Boots,’ ‘Pockets,’ or ‘Stretch.’

Darkness March 11, 2009 at 7:04 pm

Obama at gift presentation: baby, you gonna walk a mile for a camel… or you gonna make like mr. Chesterfield …. ?

And then Mrs. British PM swoons just at the thought.

Min March 11, 2009 at 7:05 pm

It’s really painful to watch racists try that hard to be funny.

brokebackvol March 11, 2009 at 7:12 pm

Big friendly waves from a former Washingtonian! Dallas, GA is a VERY white NW burb of Atlanta. Think “Thurmont,MD” and you’ll be fairly close.

Lascauxcaveman March 11, 2009 at 7:16 pm

OMFG! This is all you need to know about the Schlitz Malt Liquor Bull .

(Warning: NSFWhite Southerners)

space stout March 11, 2009 at 7:17 pm

[re=263096]johnnyrocket94158[/re]: are you serious? he is talking about Schlitz Malt Liquor Bull, and you can get the Red Bull or the Blue Bull but not the red bull these kids today like to drink. In college our hangover description of choice was “hoofprints on your forehead”.

JimBob March 11, 2009 at 7:18 pm

This is in reference to the state gifts that were exchanged recently–the English Prime Minister gave the President a pencil holder carved out of the wood of some historic ship, apparently the sister ship of the one they used to carve the White House desk (the HMS Resolute–an American whaling ship found it after it had been abandoned off Baffin Island & they gave it back to Queen Victoria as a show of good will. When the ship was decommissioned, she had the desk made and presented it to Pres. Rutherford B. Hayes in gratitude). The President gave Gordon Brown a set of 25 DVD’s selected by the American Film Institute in return.

Anyway apparently some people thought that this cheap gift was a bit of a snub…the Daily Mail wrote that it was “about as exciting as a pair of socks.” As far as what the Bull refers to, I have no idea…is it a reference to some cheap beer, say Red Dog? A case of Red Bull? A burning effigy of John Bull, perhaps…? No idea what a Southern congressman will come out with next, but I wouldn’t read too much into it.

edgydrifter March 11, 2009 at 7:18 pm

I am aware of all blackamoor traditions, and have it on good authority that those of the ethnic persuasion prefer Colt 45 over The Bull, The Tiger, The Saint and all of the other various fine malt-based liquors chiefly because it “Works Every Time” (insert knowing wink).

space stout March 11, 2009 at 7:20 pm

[re=263146]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Nobody makes step-n-fetchit commercials Schlitz. Nobody.

thatonegirlsays March 11, 2009 at 7:21 pm

[re=263148]JimBob[/re]:
Are you new?

MisterLoki March 11, 2009 at 7:24 pm

Can I get my stimulus in malt liquor and smokes? Because that would be fine with me.

gjdodger March 11, 2009 at 7:28 pm

[re=263152]thatonegirlsays[/re]: He sure has a purty mouth…

hobgoblin of little minds March 11, 2009 at 7:41 pm

[re=263159]gjdodger[/re]: I’ll bet he squeal like a pig. Wheeeeeeee!11!1!1!

TexasCowGirl March 11, 2009 at 7:44 pm

[re=263032]Vanity Smurf[/re]: I am familiar with the place and you are correct. I swear I heard banjos playing the few times I went. And as I am a negress, I never went at night.

AnnieGetYourFun March 11, 2009 at 7:46 pm

[re=263043]Dreamer[/re]: ZOMG.

“The whole book is a documentary demonstration of dramatic irony, in which what is obvious to the audience is a mystery to the narrator, with tragicomic results.”

What if Denby’s entire book is actually snark? In the sense that it’s an irony-filled look at what snark is NOT? And all of these appearances on NPR whining about how mean everyone is are just performance art?

Denby might be a genius?

Beef Supreme March 11, 2009 at 7:53 pm

Quart of the Bull = Court of the Bull = Night Court reference (where Bull Shannon was bailiff).

Pack of Camels = this guy’s obsessed with camel dick.

Capitol Hillbilly March 11, 2009 at 7:56 pm

[re=263032]Vanity Smurf[/re]: it is a shithole to the nth degree , i can vouch

plus the mayor is a nitwit. everybody knows you drink the Bull by the 40 and Obama smokes Newports.

Dreamer March 11, 2009 at 8:04 pm

[re=263152]thatonegirlsays[/re]: what gave it away? The earnestness of the post?

Dreamer March 11, 2009 at 8:08 pm

[re=263180]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: I think he was just annoyed with Maureen Dowd and wanted a way to slam her without appearing he was targeting her, so he group together bunch of people that had nothing in common.

badmuthagoose March 11, 2009 at 8:22 pm

Numbat Dundee: We’ve been in Texas many generations and you have to go about that far back to find funky names like Drusilla and Cinderella (I’m not kidding). Nowdays, my family tends to go with classic Anglo-Saxon/Irish stuff: Katherine, Kelly, Brian, William, James, etc. No weirdo names here.

I know people like this mayor. They are hateful motherfuckers and I happily ignore them every day of my life. One good thing about Obama: just by his very existence and the office he has been elected to, he seems to be flushing out the assholes for public mocking. Yay!

josereyes.theroof March 11, 2009 at 8:38 pm

Dallas, GA, Home of Playboy’s Miss October ’07 & One Dumbfuck Mayor. Hot.

spandrelmatic March 11, 2009 at 8:51 pm

[re=263064]Canuckledragger[/re]: Had a similar experience as a teenager walking down a Texas highway a couple years later. Ah, redneck death threats! Takes you back, doesn’t it? Or not.

Giant Robot March 11, 2009 at 8:55 pm

I know Wonkette isn’t a techie blog but here’s my problem: I wrote a web bot to crawl Facebook looking for racist wingnut smack about Obama and the 14 terabytes per hour I’m pulling down keeps crashing my system. Any suggestions?

spandrelmatic March 11, 2009 at 9:05 pm

[re=263270]Giant Robot[/re]: Rewrite it to look for well-argued, fact-checked commentary on topics of genuine public concern. 500K, tops.

slinkimalinki March 11, 2009 at 9:34 pm

hope he gets trampled by a pack of camels.

furthermore, why all the places called dallas? they trying to attract debbie? if you name it she will come?

donner_froh March 11, 2009 at 9:36 pm

[re=263040]Lazy Media[/re]: Or just “a 40″

badmuthagoose March 11, 2009 at 9:44 pm

Speaking of redneck threats, when my husband and I went to Iowa to canvass for Dean back in 2003 or thereabouts, we were assigned with a gay couple to start canvassing streets in some teeny town outside of Davenport. A truck came roaring by and the two guys in it yelled at the couple with us, calling them all sorts of slurs. One of the guys yelled “HEY WE’RE FROM TEXAS!” They stopped the truck and the driver yelled “so WHAT?” The guy waited a beat then said “So, even the FAGGOTS have guns in Texas! Don’t you know that?” He just gave all four of us a weird look and drove off. Then we laughed hard. I loved those guys. And they probably really did have guns.

schvitzatura March 11, 2009 at 10:00 pm

All this trouble for a tall glass of Olde E…and a Kool Filta Czar, yo!

Dallas, GA, the sista city of Los Alamitos, OC, CA! Word, boieeee!

gliberal March 11, 2009 at 10:53 pm

He was working on some really hilarious material but then he crapped his pants. Anal leakage. Fecal urgency. Explosive diarrhea. The Big 3. Damn swamp water.

iaro March 11, 2009 at 11:08 pm

I keep saying that we Georgians aren’t stupid, but then another redneck comes along… I give up. I’m leaving Atlanta soon enough, God Willing, and I’ll abandon this city and state to the stupid.

revbob March 11, 2009 at 11:23 pm

Do you think Saxby Chambliss looks at his daughter’s bewb below the areola before he gives it a big ol’ Georgia-style squeeze?

Areola, another good Georgia name.

The Church March 12, 2009 at 1:16 am

Has dude’s profile been deleted? Can’t find it anywherez…

The Church March 12, 2009 at 1:18 am

Has dude’s account been deleted? Can’t find it anywherez….

Also, totally been to Dallas, GA. Drove through on an early Sunday morning and four little girls where on all four sides of a four way stop selling krispy kremes at like, real early, alone.

assistant/atlas March 12, 2009 at 1:43 am

Excuse me stewardess, I speak honkey…

assistant/atlas March 12, 2009 at 1:44 am

[re=263146]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Are you sure that’s not from The Wiz?

pitterpatter March 12, 2009 at 5:39 am
phineas_bounderby March 12, 2009 at 7:23 am

The fellow has a quote from Gene Talmadge on his profile!!! Talmadge was one of our more “colorful” drunken, racist idiot governors.

DangerousLiberal March 12, 2009 at 8:16 am

[re=263050]Gallowglass[/re]: I knew a guy from Dallas, Oregon. Crazier than a sack of rabid cats, also. Yes, he was a christian.

But to get a big blast of the crazy in Oregon one once had to visit Klamath Falls, aka K Falls, aka KKK Falls, said to be a center of Klan activity in Oregon. Not so much any more: Eugene and Ashland ran out of room for hippies, and they’re all moving in.

norbizness March 12, 2009 at 8:34 am

Well, he’s only half black, and only 80% an alcoholic, which explains the non-kosher cigarettes and 32 ounces instead of 40 ounces of sweet, nourishing Schlitz.

And seriously, I expected better of the 6 Million Dollar Man’s son than this.

proudcitizen March 12, 2009 at 8:36 am

Is Bull and Camels like Bubbles and Squeek?

pink triangles March 12, 2009 at 12:40 pm

I’m shocked! I work 20 miles from Dallas GA and let me tell you, the racism here is INCREDIBLE. Because

A. It’s constant and unending

and

B. Most of the racist shit I hear never makes any sense, like what this rebel assclown said.

Literally, the first week at work, my coworkers were using terms like “Blue-gummed monkey” and “high yellow nigger” and other shit to describe the blacks. IN FRONT OF MY BLACK COWORKERS.

Seriously, the South? It’s like civil rights never happened.

Lascauxcaveman March 12, 2009 at 1:02 pm

“high yellow nigger”? Is that a light-skinned mulatto or an Asian smoking dope?

Sounds like basic good manners, along with civil rights, never happened.

andorraclaim April 2, 2009 at 1:29 pm

You people need to get off the internet and go out IRL a little more. “The Bull” is a reference to Schlitz Malt Liquor as it has a bull (usually blue) and until recently only came in quarts. It’s more of a ghetto thing than a southern thing (which shows the subtle racism of Boyd’s status update). Very popular with the crackhead/urban/thug community.

http://www.40ozmaltliquor.com/40/bluebull.jpg

The amount of reverse racism is astounding here you wigger yankees. If Boyd’s racism was a monster it just spawned little babies.

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