Wonkette
Mark your calendars for the year 2010 everyone, because there’s going to be at least one 2006-George-Allen-level comedic midterm race. Baseball pitcher Sen. Jim Bunning is running for reelection in Kentucky and will lose, loudly. Bunning resurfaced in the media recently for telling a pancreatic cancer-stricken Ruth Bader Ginsburg that she should go die alone, soon. Now Bunning has run into some local Kentucky trouble by snapping at some reporter who asked about his internal poll results, which wouldn’t be a problem in and of itself (MSM lies anyway etc etc) except that he used the word “goddamn,” which to Kentuckians is more appalling than raping 40 young children and a grandma.
Bunning recently conducted an internal poll to gauge his reelection chances and then held a conference call with reporters, one of whom inexplicably had this bizarre desire to ask Bunning about the results of his recently conducted internal poll to gauge his reelection chances.
To Bunning, this was just one more reporter lookin’ for a con sarn handout:
Sen. Jim Bunning, R-Ky., has conducted a poll on his 2010 bid for election to a third term, but he isn’t making the results public.
“Let’s say I did the polling,” the senator told reporters on a conference call this morning.
What does that mean?
“That means it’s none of your g–d— business,” Bunning said, who then followed up with a laugh. “If you paid the 20 grand for the poll, you can get some information out of it.”
So yeah, he’s losing by 70 points.
Keep in mind that the Louisville Courier-Journal doesn’t censor the word “goddamn” by accident. It’s a word that is censored in all Kentucky media because, oh we don’t know, maybe it’s the worst imaginable fucking word a human can say?
Predictably, Bunning swiftly issued an apology. Not to the reporter, whom he treated very rudely, but to Jesus:
FRANKFORT, Ky. (AP) — U.S. Sen. Jim Bunning has apologized for using profanity in his weekly conference call with reporters on Tuesday. [...]
He released a statement on Wednesday that said: “I am sorry for taking the Lord’s name in vain. After 59 years of dealing with the media, sometimes they get under your skin, but that is no excuse.”
Ha ha he’s going to Hell.
Bunning keeps poll results to himself [Courier-Journal]
Bunning apologizes for cursing [AP/WZTV Nashville]
Fuck that shit.
Hell is other people’s poll numbers.
Well at least he’s owning up to being an inconsiderate (excuse me for a moment…*VOMMMITT* *CRY* *SCREAM TO THE HEAVENS*) public speaker. I don’t think that having him as a senator would be so bad, as long as he maintains his honesty (sorry, excuse me again…*LOAD THREE ROUNDS INTO CHAMBER, SPIN, PLACE REVOLVER AGAINST TEMPLE, PULL TWICE, TWO CLICKS–damn.) and integrity as a lawmaker.
Jim Bunning is such a huge dick, he can probably anally probe himself. But it would be funny (the ironic & haha kind) if old cancer, riddled Ruth outlived him — it could happen, look at Walnuts.
G-d is gonna get him.
…he should have said he was referring to the Mooslim god and not the ALMIGHTY Christian God!
At least he’s not that piece of shit Mitch McConnell, who bragged on his re-election commercials last fall about all the money he could bring back to the Grass State, the one who now laments all of the earmarks in all of the bills by all of the Democrats.
He’s as mad as heck, and gosh darnit, he’s not gonna take any more bull-hookie!
Please ’scuse my salty language.
He’s been dealing with the media for 59 YEARS? That is completely absurd. He has ran the political life limit. Euthanize him.
AngryBlakGuy: ‘Scuse me, ’scuse me…it’s spelled C-R-I-S-C-H-U-N my good man.
“Hey Bunning - Three Strikes and You’re Out”
-God
AngryBlakGuy: “It’s none of your Buddha-f***ing business.”
Thanks for the clarification on what g-d- stands for. I was sure it meant “goat dick”, which would certainly merit an apology. But “goddamn”? Shit, I say goddamn to little old ladies in church.
This is nothing. He’s said way dumber things than that!
ShortsCubed: I think that may be a reference to his early days as a pitcher with the Cincinnati Red Stockings.
Incidentally, the internal polling report on Jim Bunning, done by the firm of Jim Bunning, Jr. and Associates, concludes that Jim Bunning is fucking awesome, that he would crush the only other viable candidate in Kentucky (the jug-playing bear from the Country Bear Jamboree) by 40 points, and that not enough rappers using Bunning in their rhyming couplets, including cunning, stunning, and Debbe Dunning.
Seriously, this guy’s been an embarrassment for how g–d– fucking long, but the Kentuckitards aren’t going to vote for him because he said a bad word?
Shit, you fucking people are goddamned idiots.
Grab your giant bowl of popcorn and settle in around teh Intertubes…This is going to be an entertaining campaign. I can’t wait to see YHWH chase Bunning’s baggy white ass out of Kentucky!
Oh, Bunnination.
Shouldn’t “goddamn” be capitalized? If you’re going to capitalize pronouns (e.g., “His word,” “He is risen,” etc.) then you should Goddamn capitalize the word “goddamn” too.
Good thing he did not say con sarn — he would have been run out of KY on a rail.
Heh, “run out of KY”.
Cicada: Yes, but do you say it like “God-DAAAAAMN, I gotta get a piece o dat!”? That would make you a sick, sick granny chaser.
“No, no, no, not God Bless Kentucky. God damn Kentucky!”
Yay my tip! Seriously, the man has gone completely batshit insane. Even more so than usual. It is quite enjoyable to watch.
The fact that the man even has the balls to apologize for saying goddamn, as opposed to making the entire state look like bigger fucking idiots than we actually are, absolutely boggles the mind.
Bunning was a pitcher, really? I would have pegged him for a catcher. Lindsey Graham is the official Senate pitcher, amirite?
OffTheRecord: I should also add that every time someone has the audacity to say “Hey nutbags, maybe you shouldn’t run for reelection” Bunning pitches an epic hissy fit and threatens to resign, a move that would give Barry his 60 elitist muslin senators. He is basically trying to shake down the RNC. It is awesome.
President Beeblebrox: Da-dum Tsss!
I said, “Goddamn the pusher man…” Sorry, those are all the lyrics I know to that song. Carry on.
I dunno..he seems like one of those douchebags that would actually say; “G-D’d”, (like Flanders), and still feel like a Godamned sinner, Godammit also.
What’s the difference between going to hell and being in Kentucky? I mean other than hell being more of a class act, with smarter non-inbred residents.
Last election, he called his opponent a ghey and said the guy looked like one of Saddam Hussein’s sons. This election? That same opponent is the state’s Lt. Governor and already declared he wants a rematch. Revenge will be sweet.
Dear Rest of the State of Kentucky (excluding certain portions of Lexington),
Listen. We host your only notable event. We are the home of the very little that the Bluegrass State can claim as industry. We have a nice arts community, surprisingly sophisticated food scene and a strong school system. We have been large-scale recycling for 2 decades. All we ask is for one g–d—-ed senator that isn’t infected with hillbillyism and human-dildonia. In return, you can come here and go shopping for all your country music and NASCAR periphernalia in one of our many fine malls. You may even eat at our Olive Gardens.
If not, we’re leaving you for the comparatively (hey, the bar is pretty low) greener pastures of Indiana and we’re taking all the bourbon.
Sincerely,
Louisville (The San Francisco of…um…Kentucky…)
Cicada: In one of Mark Twain’s stories, in Wilhelmine times:
German ladies are constantly saying, “Ach! Gott!” “Mein Gott!” “Gott in Himmel!” “Herr Gott” “Der Herr Jesus!” etc. They think our ladies have the same custom, perhaps; for I once heard a gentle and lovely old German lady say to a sweet young American girl: “The two languages are so alike — how pleasant that is; we say `Ach! Gott!’ you say `Goddamn.’”
He is fast becoming my favoritest Senator EVER, con sarn it! I am going to become a Facebook fan of his and if there isn’t a fan club I am going to start one. Of course, if the Kentuckitards sent him to Congress he HAS to be well to the right of Heinrich Himmler but he says such adorably insane things it’s hard not to love him. My poll runneth over.
Rev. Wright and Bunning to form the G__D___ Coalition.
Actually, the proper word to use in that sentence would be “goddamned”. I looked it up in Harbrace for Hicks.
“That means it’s none of your [cock sucking, motherfucking] business,”… [substitution made for purposes of decency].
doxastic: Dude, seriously. We are not going with Indiana. Take that back. Have you ever been to New Albany? That shit is terrifying. Can we not just build a large wall around the Snyder to keep the rest of the state out?
Dear Jim Bunning:
We need to talk.
Yours,
G*d
President Beeblebrox: Lindsey Graham is the official Senate power bottom, amirite?
/fixed
Aha! Yes! I prayed to Rush for this yesterday, and my prayers have been answered! Next, a reality show, pleez.
assistant/atlas: Yeah, I guess you’re right that Lindsey is more of a bottom. Who’s the official Senate top, then?
Pancreatic cancer is a death sentence. By the time proles are diagnosed, they have just about six months to live, and toward the end pain medication simply doesn’t work. “Agonizing” and “inevitable” are the words we’re talking about here.
I don’t know Bunning from Adam, but the actual words that emerged from his mouth seem to have been spot on. If you have Navy doctors smothering you in socialized medicine, and you win the Irish sweepstakes by actually catching pancreatic cancer before it’s way too late, mazel tov. All I can say is, it must be nice. Meanwhile, back on earth, at least a dozen of you Wonkettes know someone who died and died hard of the same damn disease, and you’re frontin’ about this crap. You know it, I know it, dogs know it. The rest of you, spare the bullshit until you watch someone die of pancreatic cancer, please and thank you.
That a-h- is such a f-g p-k
GreenHalo: The five year survival rate if pancreatic cancer is caught early is 20%. In other words, fuck you.
Goddamn that guy looks like Peter Graves. Kuntucky sucks by the way.
GreenHalo: What the fuck are you talking about? Really? What the hell does that have to do with anything?
GreenHalo: The actual words that emerged from his mouth were rude and disgusting. I don’t care if it is a death sentence, Bunning doesn’t care if she dies. All he is concerned about is that Obama is going to appoint a liberal. That is what the wailing and gnashing of teeth on Bunning’s part was about. Also, it is considered uncouth, even in Kentucky, to comment on someone eminent death. You wish them the best. If you are religious you offer them your prayers. But you don’t discuss it like it was a business transaction, which is what Bunning was doing.
So, if it’s caught early, you still have four chances out of five of being dead five years later. I happen to know that my health care sucks rocks compared to that of a Supreme. “Doc, I got this pain right here, and sometimes I puke blood.” “Oh yeah? Um. Lemme schedule some tests.” There’s no good way to die, but pancreatic cancer is widely known as one of the baaaad, baaaad Leroy Brown ways to check out. And your point is what, exactly? I suck because cancer kills people unpleasantly, and wealthy people have a better chance of surviving (very slightly better in some cases)?
GreenHalo: Here’s what Bunning said, direct from the Loovill paper:
During a wide-ranging, 30-minute speech on Saturday at the Hardin County Republican Party’s Lincoln Day Dinner, Bunning, of Kentucky, said he supports conservative judges “and that’s going to be in place very shortly because Ruth Bader Ginsburg … has cancer.”
“Bad cancer. The kind that you don’t get better from,” he told a crowd of about 100 at the old State Theater.
“Even though she was operated on, usually, nine months is the longest that anybody would live after (being diagnosed) with pancreatic cancer,” he said.
Context is everything, buddy-o, and in this context it’s pretty clear that Bunning was all but frothing at the mouth at the prospect of a Big Supreme Court Nomination Battle. Your argument would have made sense if Bunning said it at, say, a Law Day ceremony or something, but that ain’t so, Joe.
digibal235: Seriously, the editor in me was whipping out the red pen on that one. Since I’m an atheist, when I write “goddamn” as issued forth from my own yapping maw, I do not capitalize it (SayItWithWookies might argue that a good atheist wouldn’t refer to any god to begin with, but I’d counter with “the only good atheist is a dead one.”).
Where was I? Something about an onion on my belt? Oh, yes, my point is, if I was quoting someone who actually believed in a god, so much so that they actually felt bad about taking that god’s “name” in “vain”, then I would capitalize it. “Goddamn,” I believe it would be.
GreenHalo: Successful troll is successful.
Bunning hasn’t been within 1000 yards of spot on since his K-to-BB ratio fell to nearly 1-1 in the final year of his pitching career.
GreenHalo: You suck because you are missing the point. I think everyone here would agree that pancreatic cancer is a horrible way to die. However, what we were commenting on was the fact that Jim Bunning is a classless bastard.
GreenHalo: Right, and so if we think Bunning is a callous fuck for having turned Justice Ginsburg’s suffering into a political point for his douchetastic party, why exactly do you have a problem with that? You, my friend, are an asshole. Worse, you are barely intelligible and are definitely not funny. Get the fuck out of here.
Sorry about all this. I forget sometimes that the world is full of people who think death is something that happens to other people, particularly other people who sell poisoned milk to schoolkids. If Bunning was a dick, he was a dick. If he was talking to civvies in public about death, he should have known better.
As for the idea that inevitable death is some kind of punk-rock spoken word act of disobedience, I’m ashamed of some of you. “Old person gets terminal cancer; politician cast out of society for looking a year into the future.” The funeral industry wouldn’t exist without this kind of garbage-headed forbidden thinking. Medicine is a science. Dreamcatchers don’t work very well against The Crab. Bummer, I know.
Anybody here have cancer but not health insurance? That you know of?
Breaking news from the website of TaxPayers for Common Sense
http://www.taxpayer.net/
Jim Bunning, by his lonesome, and in partnership with his fellow KY Senator, Mitch ”Chou’s Bitch” McConnell, inserted $10,618,175 worth of earmarks into the 2009 Omnibus Spending Bill, that he voted against. Here’s a list of Bunning’s “porkiest” top 5:
* $300,000 - City of Vanceburg for combined sewer renovations project
* $190,000 - Casey County Fiscal Court, Liberty, KY for renovations at the Central Kentucky Agriculture and Expo Center
* $1,379,675 - University of Kentucky Strategic Liquid Transportation Fuels Derived from Coal (KY)
* $951, 500 - University of Kentucky Coal-Derived Low Energy Materials for Sustainable Construction Project (KY)
John McCain: U R Twittering Wrong
AnnieGetYourFun: Some atheists I know who participated regularly on an evangelical website came up with what they called the Generic Atheist Disclaimer — that mentioning god wasn’t to be taken as an endorsement or a statement of belief but just a commonly recognized social construct. I’m not going to judge anyone’s use of such conventions (hell, half the people in my office think I’m of the same religious persuasion as they are) but if anyone asks about my beliefs instead of just making assumptions, I point them to this helpful and informative site.
GreenHalo: So, your point is that pancreatic cancer is often caught too late and few who are diagnosed with it survive more than 9 months. Yes, I think we get that. That’s why Bunning’s apparent glee at the prospect of a new supreme court justice was a “dick move”.
Obviously a supreme court justice has access to top-notch medical care. Millions in the US don’t even have insurance, and many others’ families will face bankruptcy even though they have some medical insurance if faced with such a terrible disease. That’s why the healthcare system needs reforming and healthcare should be a right, not a privilege. I’m pretty sure most, if not all here would agree with that.
So, what was your point?
President Beeblebrox: Just a guess, but I’m going with either Jefferson Beauregard “Jeff” Sessions III or Thad “Jack Me Abram Off” Cochran, but it could also be Olympia Snowe. Sam Brownback is WAY too obvious.
Cicada: And little old ladies at church have said “goddamned” themselves, for at least the past 50 years.
Oklahoma sounds like hell.
God next to damn is really really bad in the south. Worse than fuck or cocksucker. BUT you can say gd, geedee, damn or god (separately) all you want. Rules are rules.
(After living in NC for 17 years, I was explaining this to my Puget Sound neighbors last week and I started saying geedee in stead of god damn because I got scared I would make someone mad. They started looking at me weird and I was sure they were mad that I’d said the southern no-no when they were probably just weirded out over the “geedee” as if I’d said “number 2″ instead of shit.)
assistant/atlas: Olympia Snow is a shemale? Damn, that explains a lot.
Thad strikes me as a top, fer shure.
Batman gots a potty mouth on himself there.
Jesus hasn’t forgiven him for his great pitching in 64 pennant race.Guess it’s easier to win senator in Kintucky
OffTheRecord:
I prefer percale myself, 400 thread count or higher.
GreenHalo: Grandma HomoPolitico went that way. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. Not even Bunning.
What I do wish on him involves sexual violation by rabid jackals with diarrieah.
GreenHalo: My boyfriend’s father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer at age 65, they didn’t catch it early at all - however, after removing his pancreas and gall bladder he lived to the ripe old age of 82. Never say inevitable.
a propos of nothing in particular, does anyone think teh wonkette should employ an intern as a late night banhammer wielder?
Q- slap the M-Jing C-sauce C-goblin A- tard. Go Y- yourself in a W-M-ing Turkish Prison. Goddamned comedians.
good thing he didn’t say something about god fucking jesus’s mother, mary, in the cunt.