Wonkette
The mean old liberals everywhere are censoring angry wingnuts by not letting the angry wingnuts change any mention of Barack Obama on the Internet into some ALL CAPS dingbat conspiracy theory about how Obama is a secret half-muslin African communist who is not allowed to be president because these wingnuts decided at some point — probably right after they heard he was black — that his entire 47 years of life is an elaborate fraud.
From his illegal birth by a giraffe in Kenya to his whole life in “Hawaii” and “Indonesia” and especially “Harvard,” Obama’s entire fake life has been run by some kind of shadowy organization of street organizers (Stalin?) to hide his TRUE NATIVITY.
There have been a few small delays in delivering the wingnut Evidence to the American People, but as soon as they prove all this for sure, Barack Obama will be swiftly plucked from the White House and lynched. Meanwhile, Wikipedia has blocked all these clowns, the end. [World Net Daily]
THIS ARE OBSTRUCTOIN UV MAH FIRST AMNDMANTS
God damn, this will still be going on when I’m seventy, won’t it?
Also, WAKE UP SHEEPLE!
Larry Sinclair has probably already sued them. He sues everyone.
Also, Wikipedia rejected my revision on David Vitter as follows:
“Mr. Vitter likes authoritative women. ‘He always insists on taking the condoms with him after he’s done,’ according to one of the many prostitutes Mr. Vitter confessed to banging.”
Birthers + PUMAs = Lizard People?
…to hide his TRUE NATIVITY.
Nativity? As in Christmas nativity scene?
Obama is the Christ child — this is too much even for the uber-libruls to take.
Didn’t a son of Phyllis Schaefly start up Conservipedia because Wiki’s too Librul?
The NoBama Birthers make the Paultards look rational.
I think the editors of World Net Daily need to go to Kenya.
Did you see this ad on the side of the article?
“New Survival Seed Bank
Lets You Plant A
Full Acre Crisis Garden!”
These people are fucking scary ass lunatics. I really, really hope the DEA et al has tabs on them.
Are we sure that Waco, TX is pronounced with a long vowel sound?
Jimmy Wales just did this because he knows Rachel Marsden’s behind it all.
But they have citations from a legitimate news source — WND! And they know he’s not American because Hawaii won’t release his birth certificate! And stop saying that doesn’t make any sense!
chascates: Princess Diana said she saw the Queen morph into a reptilian humanoid and eat a fly.
ManchuCandidate: Yes but i dont think it was the gay one.
ManchuCandidate: If said Son of Schafly did such a thing, it was probably scheduled around a very hectic and busy cock sucking schedule.
OT but I read on the World Net Daily yesterday that New York is about to be hit by something big.
Here’s the money quote.
“This is what I hear the Holy Spirit speaking to my heart concerning my own spiritual response to impending calamity,” writes David Wilkerson, author of “The Cross and the Switchblade” and founder of a ministry to troubled New York street kids, on his blog today. “It is simply this: Stand still and see the salvation of the Lord.”
As WND reported, Wilkerson drew attention by publishing on his blog over the weekend a vision for impending fires and riots sweeping through New York City and other cities across the country.
“An earth-shattering calamity is about to happen,” he writes. “It is going to be so frightening, we are all going to tremble – even the godliest among us.”
http://worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=91247
“Stocks see biggest gains of 2009″ see Kramer was right! Yeah! Cee Nothing Before it Crashes is having a money orgy right now!
Or…..Barack the Magic Pen Signer has saved us in 50 days!
SayItWithWookies: HA! I had never thought about it that way…. with the state refusing to release it.
LAFFS
WND is staffed by a bunch of people who need to be on lithium!
I am bored with people telling me Obama is Kenyan. When will they start telling me he is a robot, or a human-animal hybrid (perhaps some kind of squid-man? work out details later!) from the future? There’s a conspiracy theory I can believe in.
Nerdalicious: YOU MAY HAVE WON THIS BATLE THIS TIME LIBTARDS.
MERKA 1
RUSH 0
ALLSO.
pdiddycornchips: impending fires and riots sweeping through New York City and other cities across the country.
Has anyone told him yet that “24″ is a fictional television program?
I like how WND counts itself as a legitimate third party media organization. Yeah right. Also, if any of these wingnuts knew how to use the internets they might have discovered the ridiculously easy to find and detailed Wikipedia entry entitled “Jeremiah Wright controversy”. What a bunch of retards.
Here are the opening sentences of the first four paragraphs on Obama from conservapedia.com:
Barack Hussein Obama II (allegedly[1][2][3] born in Honolulu Aug. 4, 1961) is the 44th president of the United States, and previously served as a first-term Democratic Senator from Illinois (2004-2008).
Obama refers to America in the third person, as a foreigner would.
Obama has espoused the socialist idea of “spreading the wealth,”[11] in other words raising the tax rates on business and the wealthy to a burdensome level in order to redistribute their income to low income individuals, many of whom don’t currently pay income taxes.[12]
President Obama is the first person having ties to a known former terrorist to gain control over America’s nuclear weapons.[17][18]
chascates: Birthers + PUMAS - Teabaggers + Jim Cramer X pi = fuck it, I don’t do math.
Also, Obama is BLACK!! How come this is the first I’m hearing of this?
Also.
Access to Wiki-knowledge is a privilege. If extended to the commons and the bitters, it can only become cheapened and our white wine shall grow unchilled and our foie gras stale. So, ooga-booga, you fucking ditto-heads.
Somebody has to say it:
“HE WAS NEVER BORN.” That is the solution, and the troof.
tootsieroll: That sounds scarily like the [url=http://fallout.wikia.com/wiki/Garden_of_Eden_Creation_Kit]G.E.C.K.[/url]
tootsieroll: Jerome Corsi tried and got kicked out of Kenya. They are not billshitting about Barry in Kenya.
shortsshortsshorts: You & Kevo-tron should start a ‘Jesuspedia’ web site. And just start making up all kinds of shit. Or actually, just printing what’s in the Bible would be pretty entertain, as bizarre as it is.
I am withholding judgment until John McCain can Twitter about this…
I’m pretty sure, if they could, they would simply substitute his biography with one word.
Wing Nut Daily proves Obama is fake American by linking to “news reports” posted on … Wing Nut Daily!
“‘As soon as Wikipedia found out I was conservative leaning and on the national lists of the righties, they banned me,’ wrote author Mark Paul Seber”
Yes they did because the ALL CAPS THING and talk about Kenyan socialist plots to kill all white people had nothing to do with it.
chascates: It would probably consist of the comedic and copious versus in the good book where evil baby-killing God takes a pro-choice position all the time.
Christian rebuttal? “IT WAS ALL IN THE OLD TESTAMENT.”
Again with the “blame it on the Jews” argument.
“As soon as Wikipedia found out I was conservative leaning and on the national lists of the righties, they banned me,” wrote author Mark Paul Seber
If we don’t keep tabs on the Mark Paul Sebers of the world, then who will bring us more crazy to laugh at?
Everyone knows that the Dr, prophet, and rightful President for Life Ron Paul, was robbed of his rightful possition. The rest of us just won’t admit that the rEVOLution has taken place, because we are, you know…sane.
american mutt: You must have paid $75 for that speed reading class.
SayItWithWookies: Wingnuts citing WND is the visual equivalent of a snake eating it’s tail.
At Balloon Juice, commenter calipygijan had this observation about WND’s Jerusalem bureau chief. So, as our fascist, socialist, stalinist, leninist, muslin, atheist, anarcho-syndicalist, communistical overlord prepares the country for gay abortions, and the forced removal of lower-case letters, we can only … i dunno … hold on to our truck nutz?
american mutt: U R SUPRESIN’ TEH TROOF!1!!!
so it’s not true that alien dna was found on monica’s dress now i’m supossed to believe the second cumming of black jesus WTF
try to find anything Mark Paul Seber ever “authored”
I think WND just made him up
OT -
Leak of Obama’s weekly address rehearsal.
pdiddycornchips: If David Wilkerson can guarantee that wingnut Xtians like himself will participate in the “supernatural quietness” he predicts from them, then sign me on for this apocalypse.
It cuts both ways. I had problems adding to Obama’s bio the fact that his life was the basis for the film Mandingo, and that he had served more days as a prisoner of the Peloponnesian War than John McCain ever had, at his swank hotel. Oh. Wait. I’m thinking of Twinkipedia. My bad.
They think they got it bad… try posting amendments to the Roger Ailes entry on Conservapedia.
My favorite part of the WND spiel: one Wikipedia user – acting as part of WND’s investigation
World Nut Daily actually thinks they carried out an investigation! Yeah, they’ve got a whole team of Woodward and Bernstein types following the money and keeping up the heat on the president. In their minds, anyway.
Wikipedia’s talk page on Obama is pretty intense, and amusing if you can filter through all of the info, and the “WHAT ABOUT TELEPROMPTER-GATE?” and “WHERE IS THE SECTION ON AYERS?!?!” etc.
This was my favorite tidbit:
the valid point is that Wikipedia claims to be an unbias encylopeidia. It has been documented facts of Obama’s relationship with Rev Wright, to the point that Obama even defended him in the early days. So for wikipedia to decide what is and what is not proper to place on this article is assnine.
Dude, Wikipedia is so bias and nine-assed!
So…has anyone updated World News Daily’s wikipedia entry yet?
When will the wing nut daily crowd just accept that facts have a librul bias?
tootsieroll: Does that mean they’ll be outlived by the European Communists that plant hectares?
LOL of the day from Barry’s “talk” page discussing “OMG WHY IS HE NOT BARRY HUSSEIN SADDAM OSAMA BIN LADEN OBAMA hmmmmmm???!!!”
Fair enough, but why do we call Adams “John Quincy Adams”? Are there other Adams to confuse him with? Why not just a middle initial? Truth be told there’s no rhyme or reason. Padillah (talk) 15:28, 9 March 2009 (UTC)
His father, John Adams was the 2nd President 199.47.41.143 (talk) 15:47, 9 March 2009 (UTC)
= American History FAIL
Neon Trotsky: I believe Kurt Vonnegut wrote a novel about Ass Nine.
cal: <—– dated Vonnegut’s daughter in high school.
cal: er ^….
Is President Hussein-Obama a black muslin like Muhammad Ali, or is he just a muslin who happens to be black?
BillyClubb: As in horoscope for birth. You need true birth date and birth place.
Zhu Bajie
SayItWithWookies: Do they know that Hawaii is part of the US?
Zhu Bajie
chascates: It already exists: Conservapedia!
Zhu Bajie
The tubes that make up teh Internets have created a serious problem.
When things had to be published on paper, it cost money and so there had to be an audience for them. But now anybody with half a brain and some Web skills can create a site that looks not only real but as if it has some authority.
So teh unwashed now can read about anything from lizard people to kenya barry to brit’s pussy hanging out and it’s all true to them.
During a heated discussion of this, I pointed out to one of these people that McCain was born in Panama, so maybe he ain’t president material either.. He replied, “That don’t matter, his parents was Americans, so he’s an American. That’s how it works, if either or both of your parents is American, you’re American, even if you are born overseas.” He had just beaten his own argument, because, isn’t that true? And even one of these freepers knows Barry’s ma was a Kansas girl…..
zhubajie: My next point was going to be that the whole fake-birth-certificate issue is moot because Hawaii is an independent kingdom illegally occupied by the U.S.
http://www.kingdomofhawaii.org/
This calls for an appropriate Laughing Quaker image.
HA! HA!
IM TYPING CRAZY SHIT ON TEH WIKIPEDIAS
IN ALL CAPS!!!1
I’m fasinated by the “Turbozymes will help you digest your food twice as fast!” ad at the top of WND page.
Why would you want to digest food twice as fast? Generate farts faster? Decrease the time till you can stuff yourself into a comma again? Clean out the refrigerator at work?
Alpha O. Mega: Hey now, we’ll give up Texass, but we want to keep Hawaii.
Check out the one comment on that old post of mine Ken links to:
http://wonkette.com/356096/the-christians-case-against-barack-saddam-hussein-obama#comment-187796
Keep up the good work, “coolguylol,” if you’re out there!
Monsieur Grumpe: You are clearly not edumacated about wingnut science: Rightwingnuts and leftwingnuts alike agree that a clean colon is a healthy colon.
Wikipedia is great, back before the internet Britanicca(?) ruled the shelves and people mindlessly copied stuff from it year after year. Now everybody can be an encyclopedick. Sifting through the wikipeidia discussion area and opening all the [show]s you find former POTUS Chester A. Arthur was also born in Kenya. Or as the WP know it alls say “The Chester A. Arthur ambiguity is far more reliably documented and is a poor comparison” when replying to reasons for “discrepencies in Obama birthplace and asymmetrical treatment wrt to Chester A. Arthur “.
Can someone at Wonkette explain to me why wingnuts are so stupid but have all the gumimint pensions and health benefits?
shortsshortsshorts: I like to alter people’s entries to show how they were arrested for sexual assault on a donut.
Turns out that the writer of this WND piece was the one trying to alter Obama’s entry.
Jim Newell: This is a reminder of the LIES told by supposedly trustworthy leaders in America over the years:
“Read my lips; no new taxes” - G Bush Snr, August 1988
“I will aggressively pursue an agreement with the Republican nominee to preserve a publicly financed general election” - B Hussein Noobama, November 2007
“We are trying to move over as many of the old comments as possible. Hopefully they’ll be there tomorrow.” K Layne, May 2008
republicans will run him out of office just like they did bill clinton. just you wait!!!
FunkyPalmettoBug: What about those ReThugs who were arrested trying to sexually assult themselves with an unshucked ear of corn, hennggnhhh? WHY IS THE LAME STREEM MEDIA CENSERIN’ THE TRUTH!!!!11!!!1!!1!
(my comment wasn’t really that funny. i just wanted to be #69. woohoo!!!!!
Jim Newell:
Haven’t read crazy like that since Nadine. Could it be? Nah. Shiver.
qwerty42: “Save us Rush, you fat bastard you!!
mauricewalkersiszlakIV: Freepers… HA HAH HA HA HA HA……
CaliforniaMike: And if that doesn’t work we’ll give up Alaska instead, or maybe throw it in with Texas as a package deal.
Thank goodness there’s Conservapedia to give Americans the truth–not liberal lies sanctioned by terrorists and queers.
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/
Jesus fucking Christ. I searched for “birth certificate” on WND.com and it came up with something like 325 entries: http://www.wnd.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.search&keywords=birth+certificate&search_WND.x=0&search_WND.y=0
Those people are fucking ravenous. Another search for OBAMA MUSLIM NOT-AMERICAN conspiracies on the ol’ Wikipedia brought up this:
“The anti-Obama campaigners have not, however, been unanimous in their approach. For example, WorldNetDaily has been critical of Philip Berg’s forgery claims, saying that a “WND investigation into Obama’s [short form] birth certificate utilizing forgery experts … found the document to be authentic.”[28]”
What the fuck people? Does he need to hump an American flag or something? They claim his birth certificate is valid, but their still chomping at the heels for probable cause that he is the socialist Muslim we already know he is?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barack_Obama_citizenship_conspiracy_theories
JUST BECAUSE THE AMERICAN PEOPLE DESERVE THE TROOF.
Monsieur Grumpe: Decrease the time till you can stuff yourself into a comma again?
I like how you wittily pointed out that wingnuts have no idea what to do with commas or how the commas exactly work, so they may as well stuff themselves into them. Similar to attitudes many of them have regarding women.
Speaking of ALL CAPS, everyone’s favorite GOP transsexual sent a NY Times reporter an ALL CAPS email stating that various editors, reporters, &c. should be EXECUTED FOR TREASON because they dared to PRINT THE DETAILS OF TOP-SECRET ANTI-TERRORIST INTELLIGENCE GATHERING PROGRAMS ON PAGE ONE IN WARTIME.
ALL CAPS, FTW!
Ann Coulter goes through a lot of batteries.
FUK DE BIRD CERTIFICATE FROM HAVARTI!
KEN HE SERF??!?!?!
LOKALZ ONLY !!!!!!!!
tootsieroll: Hey! I just drove through Waco today. Boring as usual. More retail stores, though.
cal: No, it was Ed Wood. Ass Nine From Outer Space.
http://www.conservapedia.com/Barack_Obama
“Obama refers to America in the third person, as a foreigner would.”
…and that’s just the tip of the shaft.
Luckily while you asshats have been plotting your own LEFT WING agenda, there is still Bobby Jindal being Mr. Rogers
http://www.shortsshortsshorts.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/l.jpg
AWOcoholic: Sarah Palin is the last American buttress left in North America. Nevermind these other people. Sarah is the next Trig.
Wow, so there are people too crazy for Wikipedia.
MathewBrooks: I don’t know why she swallowed the fly. I guess she’ll die.
Lionel Hutz Esq.: It’s called “unreliable commentary” on Wikipedia. I mean you’re a fucking lawyer, what’s missing? Obviously you and I need to chase these Wikipedia bastards for everything they have. It will be a the most civil of civil suits. No-one will be saved.
Giant Robot: You can’t argue with conservative facts any more than you can argue with Rush Limbaugh’s micro-penis.
AWOcoholic: I started reading that and beyond the general sense of WTF I was struck by this statement, under the subheading “Obama is likely the first Muslim President”:
“Obama uses the Muslim Pakistani pronunciation for “Pakistan” rather than the common American one”
and this is endnoted, but the endnote is not a hyperlink, only this:
“Obama repeatedly pronounced “Pakistan” as “Pokiston” in the first presidential debate.”
I mean, on a whole it’s all illogical and insane, but even pronouncing terms the goddamn correct way is now evidence for being a secret Muslim. What a world wingnuts live in!
pdiddycornchips: Wilkerson’s been share the lunchtime hobo bean special with Jim Cramer at Cipriani. That’s where he gets these Manhattan’s burning images.
Pro-Mexican Illegal Alien-Lover Senadoro de Arizona Juan Mc”Mexi”Cain was BORN IN PANAMA! He is a verified Isthmusist! He wants to put a corset around Amurrica til it resembles his beloved home country!! Don’t let America’s stealth-straw hatters fool you, McCain looks like a gringo, but he dances like a Panamaniac!>!>!>>!>!M@H!K!FM!G! G
Dinga dinga dee
They win by writing Wiki
EPIC FAIL ALLCAPS
Next time somebody files a birth certificate lawsuit about Hopey, I vote that we replace his testicles with TruckNutz. Especially if he is Ann Coulter.
Neon Trotsky: Stay tuned for more Shit From Ass 9.
As Negativland said:
Christianity is stupid.
Communism is good.
Give up.
by a giraffe?
chascates: If they do, they have to write in that Jesus can turn sage into weed. St. David of the Cross told me so.
Wait, didn’t Ken Layne kill Conservapedia?
So there’s Wikipedia and Conservapedia, but where’s the encyclopedia for liberals? I guess they just don’t feel compelled to create an alternate reality in which John McCain is a Panamanian sleeper agent.
walkaway: RationalWiki.
Roger3815: I know lithium, lithium is a friend of mine, and these people need a helluva lot more than lithium to bring them back from the asteroids.
Lead in their anti-gravity belts, maybe. Also.
chascates: HUSSEIN B. Obama is a product of Scientology and Stalinism AKA Marxisism. He has no birth certificate because he was born onboard L. Ron Hubbards Imperial Star Cruiser in the eight century BC. Xenu mated with Stanley Ann Marx in an intergalactic war with Jesus and Allah that would prove to be a deciding moment in the history of the universe.
After centuries of cosmic grooming and training in the arts of Satanic Mind Control and a game now commonly referred to as “Basketball” he was imported under the cover of night into the territory of Hawaii where he was kept underwater with demonic shark Gods until society was sufficiently morally weak and ready for his dominance.
It’s all true. I used to live in Hawaii and locals would commonly refer to a spiritual gathering place as “the place that black guy used to hang at.”
I heard he was found in the bullrushes by a slave, it was widely accepted at the time he was the illegitimate son of a scullery maid and Colonel Sanders. It is also told that Obama’s navel fluff is one of the seven herbs and spices.
Only in America can you simulate licking the presidents tummy for under $5.
Pass that bucket.
the best and most accurate depiction of obama is in the conservapedia at http://www.conservapedia.com/Barack_Obama. yep!….no nazi’s riding dinosaurs there!