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David Addington was one of Dick Cheney’s main creeps who rewrote the Constitution in the aftermath of 9/11 so that it would read more like 1984 meets Saw XIV. How awful was he? So awful that he, like Alberto Gonzoles, cannot find a job now. Nobody wants to employ this incredibly frightening man who made Dick Cheney look harmless. [Raw Story]
2:55 PM
on Mon March 9 2009
By
Sara K. Smith
1535 Views
Wonkette
How delicious can schadenfreude be? This delicious.
Could we get a copy of his résumé to laugh at and goof on?
Hey Mr. Addington, you micro-testicled fascist goatfucker — I know some people in the Hague who wouldn’t mind spending some of that free time with you.
I can’t think of a better argument for just how reprehensible these guys actions were that even the usual Right-wing “think tanks” won’t hire these guys. That’s kinda like having your employment application rejected by the nastiest, dirtiest, cheapest, brothel in Bangkok because they’re worried you’d be a bad influence on the other crack whores.
Only nano-violins and molecular roses can express the enormity of my sadness.
I was trying to forget about this evil creep, so thanks for bringing him up.
Oh, Sweet Baby Santa, did you come early this year, bearing gifts of sweet schadenfreude?
In fact, Addington looks a lot more like your adorable bearded Professor uncle who likes to discuss poetry over a warm meal at his lakehouse in Vermont.
This only makes him far more evil, of course.
You know the economy is bad when the right wing cannot fund its propaganda arms…ummm…think tanks…enough to hire a hero like Addington to be a “Senior Policy Advisor” or some shit like that.
Awwwww, David. You could make some bank cleaning Dick’s bedpans.
Can’t he start a detective agency with an unemployed model?
I hear the ACLU is looking for some good people. Notice I said GOOD Mr. Addignton.
Another former high-level bureaucrat who can’t get a job? Well I guess he’ll just have to resort to cooking meth for money just like the rest of us.
I hear Dewey, Cheatem’ & Hau are hiring.
Thank you to the late Johnny Carson…I’m here all week.
I always thought Argentina would be a safe haven now teh blacks have taken over South Africa.
He can brush up on his Spanish at the Unemployment Office.
Maybe Dick will hire him to defend him in the up-coming War Crimes trials…oh, wait.
So David Addington is Sloth-from-Goonies‘ granddad?
AfghanVet: Try the veal!
Not quite “Instant Karma” but sweet nonetheless.
“Ex-Pentagon general counsel William Heyes also couldn’t find a job for nearly a year after leaving office, and eventually took a post with Chevron, the Times said.”
They still have full-service gas stations?
Well, do they know anything about urban/suburban hip hop?
Or off-the-hook PR campaigns?
Or should they just be consultants to North Korea?
A Fine National Imbalance: Well, actually, on the Karmic wheel of birth-death-rebirth over eons I would say that it was pretty instant. Not only will he probably be reborn in one level of hell or probably as a dung beetle, he is suffering now.
Wait just a goddam minute–I was told that evil offered lifetime employment through one of its subsidiaries (Halliburton, Blackwater, Texaco, etc.) as well as cookies. If that’s not the case, I’m going to have to see about getting my soul back. With my luck, next you’re gonna tell me evil won’t be handing out any more cookies.
I knew that guy at the temp agency looked familiar. He was trying to tell the recruiters that he had great experience working with difficult bosses but they weren’t very impressed with his claim to be an expert in subverting the constitution.
I’m kind of surprised he’s unemployed. If you owned a company and you had a contract to make widgets and that contract said “all widgets will be yellow” but your widget-maker sometimes made blue widgets, well, you’d want a lawyer like David Addington who would argue with a straight face that the contract says “all widgets will be yellow, except for the green ones.”
I mean those are some damn marketable legal skills, no?
Advocatus_Diaboli: That doesn’t work quite as well when your legal opinion isn’t backed up by dudes with guns and nuclear weapons and stuff.
This may be off-topic, but WTF is my rabbi doing under the “Milk” sign the left?
You guys are missing a huge oppertunity here.
All these unemployable Republican administration minnions are welcome in my slum village. They may have taken a dukie on the bill of rights, but if they promise to goto their foreclosed summer homes and empty their liquor cabinets and wine cellars, i will promise to share my hobo beans.
He need only find a country that has an administration with a similar governing style
like Turkmenistan
Serolf Divad: I’m pretty sure they don’t use crack in the brothels of Bangkok. Mostly opiates and/or meth I would think. Not that I’ve ever been there. Or would go there. But I’d certainly give a job to any of their employees over Addington without even looking at their resumes.
Nick vdK: yeah then after dinner the drugs kick in, he ritually tortures, sodomizes and murders you, and then recreates the wood chipper scene in Fargo
From the picture, it looks like unemployment agrees with David Addington.
Word of warning, though. If he and Fredo open a sidewalk wiener stand: Do Not Eat!
I tried to tell this guy, but did he listen? I said, “Dave, you gotta pace yourself. Think about it. Once you’ve made all forms of torture 100% legal, then what? I’ll tell ya what. You’re out of a job, that’s what!”
If he hadn’t come across as such a colossal, insufferable asshole during the Senate hearings, he could probably have landed a half-decent job somewhere. Seems like even the Heritage Foundation and the AFI has some standards. He’ll probably get a blog on Slate soon, though.
BTW, speaking of insufferable assholes, what’s John Bolton up to these days?
Hey Mr. Addington! In prison, you at least get a roof over your head and a guaranteed three squares a day. Think about it.
AfghanVet: It’s Dewey, Cheetum, and Howe, and it’s a Marx Bros. bit. Depression economy respect!
brown_recluse:
Not to mention all the sex you can possibly handle.
Whats happening to America? I thought for sure there would always be room at the Hoover Institute for people who intellectually justify the killing of brown people….
AfghanVet: Please! That famous legal firm is, of course, all Anglo-Saxon. The names of the partners are Dewey, Cheatham, and Howe.
No one’s last name is “Cheatem’” and spelling it that way (a) spoils the Law Firm Name joke, and (b) misuses the apostrophe.
Yeah, I’m a Mrs. Grundy about this stuff. I like language to make some kind of sense.
And yes, he’d fit in well there. I think that’s where Elizabeth Cheney (whose graduate thesis was all about the Unitary Executive and its power to torture whomever it felt like) works.
tcb: Nah. He just sits by the register, behind the protective glass, and fakes a thick accent while he rings up sales for smokes and gas.
I stand corrected.
Wiki has it as “Dewey, Cheatem & Howe”, but still …
Searching for “Cheatem” in Yahoo brings up about 140,000 references. “Cheatham” brings up about 5 million. I’m sure that the Cheatems are probably former Cheathams who just got tired of people misspelling or mispronouncing their name and gave up, Idiocracy-style.
brown_recluse: Hey, isn’t that *SOCIALISM*?
Why should he sit in a nice warm jail with a full belly when so many of the Bush admin victims, worldwide, no longer have any guarantee of a roof or food?
I still think we should punish all Bush Admin cons by stripping them of everything except one pair of pants, one ratty shirt, one pair of old shoes (no socks), and maybe a ratty jacket and a bedroll, and drop them off at 1AM in some large urban downtown with $15 and no ID or phone.
Let ‘em enjoy the fruits of their own policies and … pull themselves up by their bootstraps with some of that Hard Work they think the rest of us always ought to be doing!
problemwithcaring: The Hoover Institute has been having trouble going through all the job applications for people with that sort of skill requirement these days.
AfghanVet: I bow to you.
AfghanVet: Reborn as a dung beetle in hell sounds about right. He’d still be cleaning up after Cheney.
mrpuma2u: yeah then after dinner the drugs kick in, he ritually tortures, sodomizes and murders you, and then recreates the wood chipper scene in Fargo, for America.
Fixed.
yes Dear hearts! lets all enjoy a good self satisfying laugh about Addington, Cheney et al. and there feeble attempts to keep those Fun loving, misunderstood guys (I wouldn’t dare call them terrorists) from harming Americans using the Cheney doctrine ( 1%) . As far as I am concerned I will support any Government servant who supports the premise of protecting Americans first and formost. Remember the oath ? ” defend against all enemies, foreign or domestic”
is it happy hour At Gitmo yet!!!!
Serolf Divad: Sweet Jesus, even Tucker Swanson McNear Carlson was hired by the Cato Institute (as if Mommie wouldn’t have given him an allowance).
To the guy in the photo: give Garrison Keillor his hair back.
He looks like John Landis if he got the venereal disease that gives you that smug, Douglas Feith, retarded smile. Except this John Landis crashed a helicopter into the Constitution.
tcb:
Hey now, better make a decision
Be a moron and keep your position
You gotta know now all your education
Or else let me know how you’re gonna
Wind up working in a gas station
Pumping the gas every night
Dick in the camper want to buy some Baja hunt
A Fine National Imbalance: Namaste
Hmm. If this gargoyle and Alberto “I can’t remember” G are on the dole, I wanna know if the state of California—splashing aimlessly in deep financial waters—is still feeding and clothing John Yoo. OK, then, “Why?!!!”
Cheney will take the BIG fall for Bush, Rove, & Rummy.