Wonkette
Next to basketball, Barack Obama’s favorite hobby is to take Leftover Fetuses — known as “table scraps” in the White House kitchen — mix them up in a blender, sit them atop a bed of arugula and a balsamic reduction, and DINE. This is called embryonic stem cell research, and he passed an executive order today easing restrictions on it. On the other hand, he reiterated a strong stance against Human Cloning, which is the only *fun* part of stem cell research, so basically he should be impeached, yesterday.
He even brought in a few stem cell eaters, for a celebratory lunch:
At a ceremony in the East Room of the White House, before an audience that included lawmakers, scientists and patients, several of them in wheelchairs, Mr. Obama announced that he was issuing an executive order intended to advance the research. He said he hoped Congress would follow with bipartisan legislation that would ease the existing restrictions even more.
Sounds like Deregulation to us. GRRR!
Except for this part, about cloning:
In making his announcement, Mr. Obama drew a strict line against human cloning, an issue that over the years has become entangled with the debate over human embryonic stem cell research.
He said that he would ensure that his administration “never opens the door” to cloning for human reproduction, adding, “It is dangerous, profoundly wrong and has no place in our society or any society.”
…Maybe there can be an exception for clones of Doctor Congressman Ron Paul? Little… little compromise action? No? OKAY THEN —-> SECESSION?
Well this is news that’s hard to make funny, so let’s just quote whatever dingbat Republican the New York Times has included here for balance:
One Republican lawmaker, Representative Christopher Smith of New Jersey, called Mr. Obama “the abortion president,” and planned an event to protest the new stem-cell policy later on Monday. The event was to include some so-called snowflake children, born after a couple that underwent in-vitro fertilization released leftover embryos for use by other couples.
Gross.
Obama Lifts Bush’s Strict Limits on Stem Cell Research [NYT]
I think the nuttiest protest group would be to combine anti-abortion people with PETA:
STOP THE GENOCIDE OF CHICKEN EMBRYOS–THINK OF THE ‘SNOWFLAKE CHICKENS’ WHO WERE BORN FROM EGGS MEANT FOR THE DINNER TABLE!!11!1!!!
You know who else was the abortion president, Smith?
Richard Nixon (Roe v. Wade, 1973).
so stfu please. thx.
In order to usher in this era of enlightenmnet, he got Thomas Dolby to yell “SCIENCE!” randomly during the press conference.
Snowflake is actually also Lindsi Graham’s pet name for Mike Steele when they meet up in seedy Anacostia motels for r&r and other stuff. I know because I saw them on an episode of Cheaters.
Can we just move all these non-science luddites to Kansas and give North Korea the coordinates for their “satellite” launch?
Damn! Now I’ll have to pay more to get ingredients for my Embryo Gumbo.
This is what I get for buying ingredients instead of growing my own.
Only organic embryos for me from now on!
Shit. No cloning. My dream of a three-way with Meghan McCain, Meghan McCain #2, and me are squashed.
For now.
I’ve already had 3 abortions since the inauguration, and I’m not even female.
I guess Rep. Smith is right.
loquaciousmusic: Maybe Glen Quagmire, relationship expert, can help:
Quagmire: Hey there sweetie, how old are you?
Connie: 16.
Quagmire: 18? You’re first.
Connie: Mom!
Quagmire: I like where this is goin’!
loquaciousmusic: If that scenario actually came to pass, your dreams would not be the only thing that squashed.
Smith: ‘Who let these cripples in here?? I said I wanted Clones! CLONES!’
“Snowflake children”? I’m assuming that is his name for the Lebensborn.
Thank you, Barry, for sunshine on a gloomy day. No comedy here. Just sincere thanks for enlightenment.
And if she’s at all sentient, deceased President Regan’s widow is thanking you, too.
God (says this agnostic/atheist), BARRY should be cloned.
Stem-cells are when they take recently born babies and rip off their arms and legs for other people, right? I take a hard line against this research because my ignorance tells me too. I’LL BE OUT THERE PROTESTING, GUYS.
Someone go raid the Octomom’s freezer before she inflicts any more blastocysts on her poor, ragged uterus.
Next thing you’ll be telling us is that science is cool, again. Oh, wait.
Now that stem cell research can take place unencumbered by the Bush bans, when can I expect stupidity to be cured?
“Honey, it’s time we told you who you really are. You’re a snowflake child. A couple decided to have children through in vitro fertilization (that means a test tube), but you’re not one of them. You’re one of the embryos they decided weren’t good enough to join the family. They donated you and the other leftover embryos to the clinic. That’s where I bought you at a discount. But your sister’s normal. Merry Christmas, sweetie!”
Fresh stem cells are delicious on my morning bowl of snow corn flakes.
“sit them atop a bed of arugula and a balsamic reduction”.. dont forget the flava beans and a nice chianti.
Mrs. Ronald Reagan is pleased so that trumps any dissent since she was married to God Hisself.
Oh, well, as long as they’re just rotten stem cells, that’s Ok. Also, Republican stem cells for research are just fine.
I love the smell of stem cells in the morning.
TGY: Cellist.
Someone already cloned Hitler, a movie was made about it several years ago. Those Hitler babies are now old enough to rule the world.
All unwanted embryos should be released into the wild. Embryos were made to be free, by God.
Neon Trotsky: shortsshortsshorts: Pathetic creeps picketing Planned Parenthood. Ew. Some poor knocked-up teenager has to navigate through a phalanx of lapsed nuns and Eric-Rudolph-wannabees in order to get medical treatment — maybe this nonsense will come to an end now.
Because today we are all atheists.
Didn’t the communists clone the anti-Christ in 1960 and have a bunch of little A-C’s hatched in Indonesia as part of their plan to win the US presidency in 2008? And why doesn’t Barry want to clone all the intellectuals, so he can send said clones to the collective farms he is building all along the Trans-American Highway?
loquaciousmusic: Meghan will want no part of you if you have read a newspaper since 2004. Meghan #2 . . . . maaaaaaybe?
shanemacgowan: Isn’t that sinister conspiracy properly called “the NAFTA Highway,” or, in non-crazy-speak, Interstate 35?
Boss Limbaugh v. Michael J. Fox redux in 3..2..1..
norbizness: It’s not “random,” Norby. It’s the first up-beat of the second measure of the bridge.
i can has eternal life now?
But what about human-animal hybrids?
I’ll rest easier knowing that Repukes won’t taint any research with their stem cells, aka meat by-products. Also.
Neon Trotsky: Don’t think they’re not out there. I was once at a feral cat spay clinic and there was a woman trolling the line, begging for all with preganant cats to give them up to her. PISSED ME OFF.
Hooray For Anything: He’ll probably cover that in the state of the union.
Advocatus_Diaboli: Visiting the local abortion clinic is my means of finding out if I had been pregnant.
shortsshortsshorts: Why, yes, I *can* play the cello…oh, wait. DOH!
loquaciousmusic: For someone whose dreams involve sex made possible by cloning, you’re not being very imaginative. For example, why not clone yourself a couple times while you’re at it?
Godot: It’s all fun and games until you accidentally cock-block yourself.
All you need to know:
http://www.quiverfull.com/
Do the research on these nuts and enjoy.
Suds McKenzie: “Flava” beans? Give a holla!
(That’s the second time I gave a holla today, so it goes without saying I’m almost certainly an annoying pasty-white guy trying to sound urban.)
(’Urban’ is code for Negro, right?)
AfghanVet: The owner of my local feedstore must have that edition. At 38, his quiver has amassed TEN children (all being fervently homeschooled in the ways of Jesus). Last time I went there his 10 year old daughter was there lamenting the fact that mom had abruptly deposited their latest newborn in the shower - thereby depriving her of the honor of “catching” the baby. I’m sure his children have seem mom’s overstretched twat at least as much as he has.
Custerwolf: If we can’t throw them out…we’ll breed them out. Too bad modern life will crush all of the garbage they learn during homeschooling and the men will end up drunk and the women working the brass poll.
This thread makes me hungry for a couple of perfectly poached eggs served over an arugula salad dressed with a tarragon vinaigrette. Well, at least I know what I’m having for dinner! Thx Jim.
Conservative Christians and their Republican suck-ups are just mad because they want all of the Lord’s children to be born into this world. So that they can molest them.
Stem cell research totally ruins all of that.
Hope Representative Smith enjoys the leftovers.
If I could clone myself, I would still raise me#2 the “Dr. Spock way”. The 1957 edition that my mom has, not the revised editions that advocate actual discipline.
Yeah, take that all you TWINS out there! You may be natures clones, but you’re an ABOMINATION all the same! It’s about time someone took a stand…
Godot: Excellent idea. Then I could just wish my clones into the cornfield when I’m done.
I did that with John McCain. “You’re a bad man!,” &c. Thank me later.
Unbelievably, the news appears to have generated a form of content known as a “list” that is occasionally seen online:
http://tr.im/hb8H
Speaking of “table scraps,” I bet Taco Bell is going to be pleased with this decision. If the thought of that makes you ill, just remember: It’s still better than Arby’s!
Begun, the clone wars have.
Clearly, this has nothing to do with using reason and fact instead of faith and religious ideology to determine scientific policy, but rather to distract from his failure to fix the economy. Duh.
http://democralypsenow.blogspot.com/2009/03/let-clone-wars-begin.html
I adore all Wonkette comments, but I have to scroll past the ones that have the misfortune of aligning with that repellent mouth-open shot of Mooselini on the left. She looks like a leering venereal disease.
Scandalabra: Yeah but those neckfolds of hers would make great mail holders don’t you think?
You can paint any surface with a liquid containing Stem Cells and it will grow nipples…
~=*☆
THE MORE YOU KNOW