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They ride on the USS Tardis.OH NOES, TEEVEE DOCTOR WON’T WORK FOR OBAMA: Whatever happened with what’s-his-name, the CNN doctor character Sanjay Gupta, who was maybe going to join the Obama Administration as Ceremonial Doctor, in January? HE IS NOT DOING IT, THAT’S WHAT (because John Conyers said he couldn’t, months ago). And if you want to know why, in March 2009 (tonight), you are expected to watch Larry fucking King, no thank you. [CNN]

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

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Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • DeLand DeLakes

    Jeebus Christ, who or what is depicted in that icon?!?!

  • Serolf Divad

    My sources tell me that Gupta is waiting to join Bobby Jindall’s all Indian-American presidential administration in 2012.

  • iwillsavethispatient

    Ken, kudos for the alt-text. You win 5 nerd points. Unfortunately, that means you lose. Try not cry into your twelve-sided die too much.

  • Snarkfest

    Who cares. Sanjay sounds like a feminine hygiene thingy anyway.

  • WeirdInWimberley

    He shouldn’t have changed his first name. What was wrong with Tommy?

  • grevillea

    Cos he doesn’t want to be confused with the Secretary of Gmail and asked about sick computers all the time.

  • chascates

    What about Dr. House? He usually solves things in less than an hour.

  • V572625694

    As Jon Stewart says, when it looks like Larry King is getting too old, they just tighten his suspenders a little more. Who watches that show, besides the families of his guests? “Tonight, for the hour: Loni Anderson!”

  • comradepaulson

    This nomination’s dead, Jim.

  • DustBowlBlues

    Can someone watch Larry King and give us the highlights? LK gives me a creep. But that’s just me.

    Hey–Here’s an idea. If we want a handsome foreign doctor who’ll make us all want to be slim and good looking, how about that guy from ER? You know–the Croatian with the pisser of a name. He’s really cute and more foreign that Sanjay.

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=259047]chascates[/re]: And he’s a cripple, so bonus points with the Association of Americans with Disabilities or whatever. Plus, snarky!

  • AnnieGetYourFun

    Is the guy at the top of that… illustration… supposed to look like ET? I only watch teh Battlestar Galactica.

  • cheeto_jeebus

    In case anyone was wondering, I’d totally hit that borg robot chick. thing. also.

  • Clancy_Pants

    Fuckin’ Larry King’s spent so much time in surgery they should nominate his wrinkled ass.

  • L Urchin

    [re=259051]comradepaulson[/re]: Listen, he’s just a country doctor!

  • grevillea

    [re=259052]DustBowlBlues[/re]: No, it really, really is not just you.

  • Scandalabra

    Doogie Howser’s chances just got a whole lot better.

  • Mothra Stewart

    [re=259029]DeLand DeLakes[/re]: Is that James Coco on the left side of that Star Trek boomerang? Is Neil Young a KLINGON?

  • grevillea

    Also, why does that one alien have buttocks instead of a forehead? Or are they intergalactic Trucknutz?

  • ManchuCandidate

    Win for US America because they can find another Surgeon General doctor guy (of Indian descent if you will) who won’t just make up shit in an EPIC FAIL attempt to discredit Big Healthcare’s boogey man Michael Moore.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    As a big fan of Star Trek, I gotta marvel at how that graphic is so lame, yet simultaneously incredibly creepy. Quite an accomplishment.

  • V572625694

    Do you suppose Doc Sanjay’s 1040 might not be, uh….complete?

  • randomsausage

    The administration’s di-lithium crystals cannie tak it any more cap’n….it’s breakin’ up, breakin’ up.

  • NoWireHangers

    I never believed in my heart that Barry would gupta us.

    Now Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman can take her rightful place as our next surgeon general.

  • Red Zeppelin


    Yes, Mom, I am talking to friends down here.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=259075]V572625694[/re]: It’s either that, or they realized he is a terrible failure of a Doctor (I mean, er, an excellent Professor at Princeton or whatever).

  • CaliforniaMike

    We need Doctor Kildare.

  • Scandalabra

    Dang, a Dunk’n Donuts banner ad! Wonkette is the only sector of the market showing signs of improvement. Can you spot me ten until Tuesday?

  • ManchuCandidate

    It explains a lot.

    Gives Vulcan salute.

    The only doc who I’d want to check my prostate is Beverly Crusher.

  • Barrett808

    [re=259073]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: That has to be the worst fan art I have ever seen. To the point of physical pain.

  • randomsausage

    [re=259092]ManchuCandidate[/re]: She had her head so far up Picard’s ass, that Lt. Cmdr Worf would be the one to probe you, laddie

  • recharged95

    No news here. Please move along:
    I preferred Dr. Zoidberg, he’s a much better TV
    candidate for the administration anyway and can challenge
    Republicans to “clawplach”.

  • fuckinredneck

    It’s because Biden tried to order a Slurpee from him, isn’t it? ISN’T IT???

  • Colander

    [re=259101]fuckinredneck[/re]: I think he asked him why his router wasn’t working even though the green light was on. Gupta hates that shit.

  • recharged95

    [re=259073]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Yeah, sort of like this one for SW fans:

  • ManchuCandidate

    Dr. Zoidberg: I don’t trust that doctor. I bet I’ve lost more patients than he’s even treated.

    Dr. Zoidberg: Be careful with that athlete Leela. He is a doctor. They are very poor.
    Leela: Actually most doctors are rich.
    Dr. Zoidberg: What?! When did this happen? You are joking, right? That’s not funny!

  • Rush

    Sanjay is too busy getting ready to deliver Campbell’s love child

  • randomsausage

    [re=259106]recharged95[/re]: that is truly class. Imagine going to a Star Wars concert!! Whoo-hoooooo. Mind you, I’d have Han as the axe-man and early Luke as your pretty boy front-man.

  • Links

    I don’t speak nerd. I don’t understand anything here. I has the sad.

  • DustBowlBlues

    [re=259072]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Aah, a wonkeratti in his snarky, profane way getting to the heart of the matter. In the middle of the Health Care Summit, it could be an embarrassing moment. On the other hand, I still think he’s hot.

  • DustBowlBlues

    [re=259089]CaliforniaMike[/re]: You say Dr. Kildare? Then I raise you Ben Casey. He scowled better.

  • DustBowlBlues

    Okay, this thread went from the Surgeon General and health care to fan boy shit in, what, two posts?. Am I the only one not living in my mother’s basement? Nor mine, either. The grown kids are all calling home asking if they can move back. Fuck this economy and the horse it rode on.

  • ManchuCandidate

    Hey now! I live above ground away from my parents. And yes, I’ve even been laid. By a WOMAN!

  • randomsausage

    [re=259119]DustBowlBlues[/re]: I copy, Gold Leader

  • AutomaticPilot

    [re=259071]grevillea[/re]: Truck Nutz: The Universal Language

  • Servo

    It’ll be damn hard to top Galactica.

  • wheelie

    [re=259122]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Really – what was it like?

  • ph7

    Surgeon General can’t do buttsex. He probably just learned this in the debriefing. They added this rule after Dr. Koop.

  • ManchuCandidate

    It was like I was in Pon Farr because I used to get laid at the same rate as Vulcans did (once every seven years.)

    Also remembered it involved lots of begging and promises of a better performance.

  • DustBowlBlues

    Ken, Sara, Jim, Juli, Wonkeratti: Ooh, ooh, ooh, Nothing to do with this thread, but I have just had a great idea.The Repugs are already calling for Steele to step down (damn, the Democratic negro is doing so well. What’s wrong with ours?). Judging by the pain they went through coming up with a loser like Steele, the next vote could be really long, painful (for them) and fun (for us). We could do a wonkette marathon, with wonkeratti getting sponsors to pony up a buck an hour for each hour we spend watching C-Span and live blogging the election. Then we send the money to Ken, and he sends it to the cause that the Repugs hate the most. What could that be? Hmmm….I know! The Employee Free Choice Act.

    Hot investing tip from my union organizer days: If the Act passes, but stock in a company that makes tire tools.

  • Red Zeppelin

    I think that’s Piyush at the bottom in the middle (nudge, nudge, etc)

  • Jukesgrrl

    [re=259117]DustBowlBlues[/re]: I agree. Dr. Kildare’s had as much plastic surgery as Larry King, so he’s disqualified from anything except being Michael Douglas’ doctor. Ben Casey, however, in addition to scowling, had the hopey liberal thing going for him (that “man, woman, birth, death, infinity” crap). Pretend you don’t remember that or someone will know you’re as old as I am. But it’s OK to be old because we can still have eight babies each compliments of Kaiser Permanante and the current Republican health care system.

  • cal

    What, nothing about Dr. Who? Really?

  • chascates

    What’s the name of the doctor that was after that one-armed guy?

  • DustBowlBlues

    [re=259147]Jukesgrrl[/re]: Yes, but you’re forgetting the very sad thing about being old–no more abortions. Hard to be fulfilled as a Democratic woman, once those golden moments are behind you.

  • ManchuCandidate


  • chascates

    [re=259160]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Thanks! Ah, Richard Janssen.

  • chascates

    [re=259160]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Sweet Jeebus! Whilst Googling Kimble I found:
    Richard Kimble is vice president of Young America’s Foundation. Having worked for over twenty years in the field of development for the conservative movement, Kimble provides experienced leadership, especially in the area of major gifts. Previous work experience includes serving as major gifts development director for National Right to Life; co-founder and former finance director of Media Research Center; national finance director, Buchanan for President (1992); council director, National Conservative Political Action Committee and finance director, National Conservative Foundation.

    I hope someone is trying to put him in jail.

  • Jukesgrrl

    [re=259159]DustBowlBlues[/re]: You’re right again. But there’s still euthenasia ahead of me. That’ll really drive ’em crazy.

  • Red Zeppelin

    We need someone who has the Noble Peace Prize for Medicine, according to Rep. Conyers.

  • stopmebeforeitypeagain

    [re=259168]chascates[/re]: “I hope someone is trying to put him in jail.”

    Maybe he could share a cell with Zach Whatshisname when Zach has to do a bit as a three-time loser for his coke habit.

    And when Wamp and Kimble — has a ring to it, no? — give each other head lice and STDs they could try to figure out whether medical care is a right or a privilege.

    Does Sanjay make socialist house calls to prison?

  • slinkimalinki

    [re=259047]chascates[/re]: drug habit. that’s only acceptable for republican wives. acceptable, compulsory…whatever.

  • zhubajie

    [re=259075]V572625694[/re]: Got caught selling “Anne” Coulter’s manly bits to collectors!

    Zhu Bajie

  • Nora-charles

    [re=259029]DeLand DeLakes[/re]: Star Trek Voyager characters…

  • Magnus Maximus

    That’s right, “Bones” McCoy BETTER DAMN WELL be at the top of the painting.

    Recognize the real!

  • wickedlittledoll

    Here’s an idea for a replacement surgeon general sure to satisfy even the hardest-to-please Republicans: Everyone’s fave Dr. Phil!

  • Pop Socket

    [re=259152]cal[/re]: Read the alt-text.[re=259138]

    randomsausage[/re]: Punchline to my favorite ST joke: It’s Klingon courage ritual Wesley and you must never tell your mom about it.

    DustBowlBlues[/re]: Your ranting is harshing our geekfest.[re=259097]

  • J-Man

    [re=259101]fuckinredneck[/re]: Maybe, but I think it was because Biden called him “Dr. Slumdog” once too often.

  • J-Man

    [re=259167]chascates[/re]: That would be DAVID Janssen. (Or Harrison Ford, in the movie.)

  • Aurelio

    Maybe Sanjay’s H-1B visa got revoked.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    [re=259119]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Yeah I understand the stereotype, but some people who like Star Trek are actually mostly-normal, with a few peccadilloes on the side (Star Trek, Wonkette, alcoholism).

    Personally, I’m a reasonably well adjusted father of two terrifically bright and happy kids with a smart, good looking wife who mostly appreciates me. (Ha! She’s built like Deanna Troi and she’s a bigger Trekkie than I am – and no, we don’t have any costumes or go to conventions or any of that sort of thing).

    If I had a dermal regenerator I’d take care of that palsy that’s always making you so grumpy. Also.

  • turbo

    Thank you Jeezus! The last dot-head gupta doc that treated me, for severe abdomincal pains, diagnosed me with stress (after charging me 400 dollars) and told me to stop whining and take ibuprofin. Two days later, my ectopic pregnancy ruptured, and I nearly bled to death before paramdedics could get me to the hospital.

  • turbo

    [re=259333]turbo[/re]: But, I realize it’s all Obama’s fault, of course!

  • turbo

    Oh well. I didn’t die. All’s well! Blood transfusions are cheap compared to HB1 visas, and I’m all for importing some docs who AREN’T addicted to 14,000,000 salaries. Ok. Not 14 million, but I have 4 docs in my family (all republican) and they each make well over a million….and I’m one of four nurses in the family who makes WELL under 60K….and we won’t send you home with a bad stomache ache, missed period, and hypotension!

  • turbo

    Oh…and those four docs that make over a million dollars a year? Oh, don’t blame them. The elevators in their homes impair their judgment..the heights, you know. as well as the cost of au pairs these days. Good God…nobody can expect them to pay for all these things without milking the insurance companies, who host their golf tournaments and subsidize their parties! The horses, and stables are costly. Their investments are “killing them”. The dinners they host at the “country” clubs in Myrtle Beach (The Dunes) and in Georgia..well, those cost! One is coming to stay with me this month, for one day, (but staying in the nicest hotel in Mobile, AL…as a guest of a pharmaceutical co.), but he has to actually pay for his own gas! How can we serfs justify crying for healthcare for all, when it will cost our docs their lavish lifestyles. It isn’t fair, I tell you. (I’m disowned at this point).

  • jennx

    I don’t know who the bottom right hand side dude is in the picture which makes me a star trek failure.

  • hobospacejungle

    Doctor Zaius Doctor Zaius
    Doctor Zaius Doctor Zaius
    Doctor Zaius Doctor Zaius

    Help me Doctor Zaius!!

  • TGY

    His surgical career? Well, yes, he *would* have to give up the successful cashectomy procedures he administers to suffering TV stations. It’s all about the Hippocratic oath.

  • gurukalehuru

    I got four out of 4 out of 6 nerd points. Didn’t recognize the alien in the lower right hand corner or the bushy blonde.
    Picard was the best captain, but Bones was far and away the best doctor.
    “I’m a doctor, Jim, not a fucking bricklayer!”

  • CrazyCatLady

    I can name ’em all, and have never been more proud.

    I nominate Dr. Feelgood.

  • Jewdishoowary Square

    [re=259038]iwillsavethispatient[/re]: Psh. Twelve-sided dice are totally useless in 4th edition, NERD.

  • problemwithcaring

    [re=259260]wickedlittledoll[/re]: Dr. Phil is 2004. Oprah get her diet advice from Dr. Oz .

  • LittlePig

    [re=259469]CrazyCatLady[/re]: Ahh, but is that the holographic doctor or the original?


  • CrazyCatLady

    [re=259613]LittlePig[/re]: Nice. I gift you with 5 extra Nerd Points!

  • nader paul kucinich gravel

    Sanjay Gupta decided not to be the Bird Flu patsy.

  • Carrie_Okie

    [re=259117]DustBowlBlues[/re]: MAAAAATLOCK!