Celebrities Are In Washington Again, And Stuff!

  oh boy

They're shooting this sexy new thriller about Obama's hairOh golly, a coterie of unpaid Hill interns has discovered a pair of famous Movie Stars walking around our Washington D.C.! Everyone loves the Movies, right? Well let’s share a Hill intern’s e-mail about famous liberals Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie having a sexy threesome with Nancy Pelosi today, and maybe some of you can send in pictures, or whatever it is one sends to a blog. (Pornography.)

So, you may or may not have heard but Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are in town working on who knows what save the children of the world policy. Apparently they’re staying at the Four Seasons (where Ms. Jolie nourished her 90 pound body with a martini while everyone else had 3+ course meals) and Brad had a rendez-vous with Speaker Pelosi today. He went in her Capitol office around 3 and slipped out a side door around 4. Now, is that any way to treat young unpaid interns such as myself and the 30 or so other girls who patiently waited?

Yes, that is precisely how young unpaid Hill interns are supposed to be treated. It is basically in the contract.

In related news, apparently Angelina was at the National Archives the other day filming her latest chef d’oeuvre, some spy movie that was apparently initially written with Tom Cruise in mind.

Oh boy! Hollywood! Maybe they are still here from Inauguration week.

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About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell

Hola wonkerados.

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25 comments

  1. Texan Bulldoggette

    Him, Pelosi & Clyburn were a weird trio to see on teevee. At least they were all clothed.

  2. Mustang

    Does “Quo Vadis” mean “Who Cares” in Latin or something? Please excuse my public school education.

  3. Sussemilch

    Angelina Jolie can do anything. Anything Cruise can do, she can do better. She would have made Mission Possible. She would have cured Rain Man. She would have beaten Iceman in Top Gun school and still won Kelly McGillis’ heart. She’s far and away a better boxer, she can mix drinks like an acrobat, she’s got her eyes wide open, and she sure as shit can handle the truth.

  4. NoYou'

    I hope he went to lobby for the demolition of Melissa’s Weight Loss blog. This cellulite dinosaur freaks me out. Bring back Campbell.

  5. SayItWithWookies

    Shouldn’t Angelina Jolie be at home taking care of her eight newborn babies?

  6. facehead

    [re=258882]Sussemilch[/re]: You are so right. Risky Business would have been so much better with Jolie. Just thinking about it makes my pants tighter.

  7. AxmxZ

    [re=258879]Mustang[/re]: Quo Vadis means “Where art thou going?” St. Peter is apocryphally said to have posed this quation to a vision of Christ heading into Rome just as Peter was fleeing from it.

  8. jagorev

    He went in her Capitol office around 3 and slipped out a side door around 4.

    Must… block… mental images of one-hour fuckathon.

    Personally, I’d rather enter Angelina’s Capitol office

  9. Origami

    Angelina Jolie is an anorexic drunkard and Brad Pitt has an overinflated sense of importance…these are new things for us to be learning?

  10. Dreadful Gate

    Get used to the bright lights, DC. You yokels on the Potomac are going to be seeing more stars than a palooka on the mat. You live in Hopetown now, not Shitsburg.

  11. Mustang

    [re=258979]problemwithcaring[/re]: [re=258879]Mustang[/re]: Sorry. It was an um bad joke that didn’t quite um work. Quo Vadis sort of sounds like a preposition verb type of arrangement as in Who Cares about Brad and Angelina? Oh never mind.

  12. Tommmcatt

    So, Jim, is that a subtle hint that you need some new, uh, gratification material? Because do I have some pron for YOU!

  13. hockeymom

    My wingnutty friends are pursing their lips and shaking their heads over this development. “PITT and CLOONEY…who do they think they are talking about Darfur and New Orleans to President Nobama? It’s so Hollywood, so liberal.” blah, blah, blah.

    And to them I say…take a look at Matthew 25:40, shitheads. Least among us and all that.

  14. lawrenceofthedesert

    What do you expect from Angelina; her dad couldn’t even spell “money.”

  15. recharged95

    You know, here in Hollywoodland, martinis are the new 5 hour energy.

    And Brangelina is soooo not in vogue here nowdays, hence why they (including bed buddy George C, who didn’t show up at the Oscars to egg on Penn!) needed to goto G’Town, muddle with the gov’t brass, and feel old and better than the rest of us.

    Out here, it’s all about The Miley anyway. Woohoo!

  16. TexasCowGirl

    [re=258895]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Haven’t you heard? The hospital is refusing to release them to her because she’s full of crazy. But seriously, I can’t wait for their break up, it will be epic.

  17. thefrontpage

    First, who working on the Hill is writing e-mail crap like that? How old are you?

    Second, read the newspapers, please, and listen to the radio, please. If you work on the Hill, you should be doing both, every single day.

    Angelina Jolie is in D.C. this week to work on a new Hollywood feature film called “Salt.” It is a spy film, and the film production is in town for a week, shooting various scenes at various locations around downtown. They have enlisted some of the local extras community to work as extras on the film. This has been reported on radio, on television, on the internet, and in newspapers—-all week.

    Brad Pitt appeared on the Hill–as reported by at least 10 news organizations this week–to talk with Congressional leaders about continuing aid for New Orleans, and a host of issues related to New Orleans, housing, emergency management in the region, and post-Katrina aid efforts. Pitt and Jolie have a house in New Orleans, and they have been heavily involved in housing, aid, emergency management, funding and post-Katrina issues in the city. That is what Pitt was doing on the Hill.

    Now, whether you are a paid or unpaid intern, or a secretary or a legislative assistant or a page or a fellow, or a chief of staff or committee chief of staff or legislative director or whatever: If you work in any capacity on the Hill, please either know what is going on, or at least make an attempt to know what is going on. Otherwise, you shouldn’t be working on the Hill. Everyone should be reading at least one newspaper each day, listening to radio news reports, and watching television news, every day.

  18. Johnetic

    [re=259483]thefrontpage[/re]: Um, how did we go from hating on self congratulatory media circus actor monkeys to a serious discussion of what every person who works on the Hill needs to read be a functioning member of the government? If working on the Hill means you have to watch CNN, Fox News or MSNBC every day, if those are the terms of legislative employment, me thinks I see the problem with Congress. I’d rather that people who worked on the hill focused more on thinking about actual policy than slobbering all over some over hyped, can’t-do-a-southern-accent-to-save-his-life maroon and his vacuous baby machine of a wife. Just my opinion. Additionally.

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