Wonkette
Put on your Excitement Pants everyone, because the New York Times has one of its Scoops! “WASHINGTON — Well, that didn’t take long. Just 44 days into the job, and President Obama is going gray.” Whoa hey… whoaaaa… are there perhaps any historical antecedents for this, and might one describe Obama’s haircut in the black parlance of the 1960’s? Did Bill Clinton have hypertension? &c. &c.
NOT THAT GRAY HAIR IS ANYTHING UNUSUAL OF COURSE…
It happens to all of them, of course — Bill Clinton still had about half a head of brown hair when he took office but was a silver fox two years later, and George W. Bush went from salt and pepper to just salt in what seemed like a blink of an eye.
But in any event, uhh, fuck the bloggers.
Mr. Obama’s graying is still of the flecked variety, and appears to wax and wane depending on when he gets his hair cut, which he does about every two weeks. His barber, who goes by only one name, Zariff, takes umbrage with bloggers who alternately claim Mr. Obama, 47, is dyeing his hair gray (to appear more distinguished) or dyeing it black (to appear younger). “I can tell you that his hair is 100 percent natural,” Zariff said. “He wouldn’t get it colored.”
“COLORED”?
Also: Did you know that the special urban language that the Blacks use for intra-racial communication is LATIN?
And for all of his 16 years giving Mr. Obama his “quo vadis” haircut — black parlance from the 1960s for close-cut locks — Zariff said he is not about to start ribbing Mr. Obama. “We do not tease about the gray at all,” he said.
Here’s one more great paragraph from the liberal New York Times!
Rapidly lightening locks are just one sign that the job is getting to America’s presidents. Many of them (Theodore Roosevelt, Woodrow Wilson, Franklin Delano Roosevelt) also developed hypertension. Mr. Clinton had to have heart surgery after leaving office.
Anyone else have a fact about anything? Because some writer here is trying to meet a minimum woooooord cooooount…
For Young President, Flecks of Gray [NYT]
UPDATE Oh sweet merciful angels of death, the Washington Post wrote the same “color” piece today. SAVE THE NEWSPAPERS.
Gray hair, you say? I once saw a man with gray hair.
Hey, I’m going gray, too. Can I be preznit?
Harding had a huge cock!
Anything in there about how he’s getting the most pussy, and it’s from his actual wife?
…His barber, who goes by only one name, Zariff
When the hell did they release him from Guantanamo?!
but does the carpet match the drapes?
It’s from worry - his approval ratings have him at awesome, down from super-awesome a month ago.
About that haircut: 1951 sword & sandle movie ‘Quo Vadis’ seems to have had a bigger influence on people that I’d ever imagined.
Ronald Reagan had Alzheimer’s ….but how could they tell? And, oh yeah, Lincoln was freakishly tall. This article was SOOOOOOO newsworthy.
I truly had thought that you were referencing that other great NYT article on how Obama speaks in negroid code with the “black parlance from the 60s” thing but… was there even a possibility that someone was going to read that line and turn to his wife saying “Sandra, does ‘quo vadis’ seem a tad like ebonics to you?” Did the NYT really feel like they had to explain how an one-named black barber could possibly know a latin phrase? And is it even 60s black parlance or was the barber just fucking with him?
Oooh! I have an idea for padding this out, Mr. Writer. Hows about we speculate about what 2 months in office would have done to John McCain? No points for simply blurting out “he’d be dead”.
And as for Barry’s hair, I do feel sometimes when I see it that it is saying to me and to the entire nation “where goest thou?” His hair is like those googly Geico eyes only it’s about hope not money.
Many others, including George Herbert Walker Bush, Richard Milhous Nixon, John Fitzgerald Kennedy, James Earl Carter, and Gerald Rudolph Ford, Jr., did not complete two full four-year terms of office.
Not sure what the issue is. I have a bit more gray than him and he’s 8 years older.
…Holy crap, he’s only 8 years older than me?? WTF is that punk kid doing with the nuclear codes!!!
V572625694: Obama has it in a mason jar on display in his “personal study.” Not for nothing was Harding known as “Ol’ Violator.”
And to think Wonkette wouldn’t use my tip regarding an very exciting and timely relevant political story;
“Lemurs: Secret Social Life Surprisingly Complex”.
Quo Vadis is a novel about that famous period of Afrikanus domination “The Roman Empire” which was written by a Polish guy. It was turned into a movie starring the whitest white chick Hollywood has ever produced Deborah Kerr. If New York Times reporters don’t know the diff between Latin and “black speak” they deserve their massive failure.
This might explain Clyde Frazier and Keith Hernandez becoming Secretaries of HHS and Commerce, respectively.
Fox n Fiends: Sounds like a special assignment for you, cowboy. You up to it?
A guy named Zariff Taylor down to the Super Cuts, does my hair.
Andrew Johnson ate babies and had sex with horses. That’s how he blew out his colon.
Everyone knows Muslins gray faster than normal people.
And LBJ “loved blow jobs”….Hennnggghh?
Grey Haired Peoples of the World, Unite!
It’s a bit cute of people commenting on a couple of gray hairs on Obama’s head - I had that much gray hair when I was 17. And did I get voted President? No, not even Class President.
norbizness: best reference ever!!! Can’t you just see Clyde and Keith in their tiny booth set-up next to the podium in the House of Reps. for next year’s State of the Union. Obama fails to get applause at what is obviously an applause line and Clyde leans back saying “oooh, rejected!”?
Zariff? Sounds like a secrest muslin to me.
Drudge ads this to the NYT headline: …DEVELOPING…
Which is generally how hair turns gray, not just over night. But I bet the President won’t be wearing a cheap fedora.
Handsome Barry’s grays makes him all the more sexie. Did I tell you guys that I had a dream in which he asked me out? And, in a very officious matter, asked if Michelle should come along or not?
iwillsavethispatient: Same here. And he started going gray during the campaign, anyway. You’d think they would have been paying attention.
Fox n Fiends: I wonder the same think about Rush.
Urgh…
Quo vadis is Latin for “what up G”.
Zariff, who goes by only one name, was forced to drop “the Jackal” from his first name when he came under national scrutiny for his role as “Obama’s barber.” It would have been completely unacceptable for his real name and occupation to be widely known to the public. “Islamofascist assassin” doesn’t earn brownie points anymore, you know, with the killing and all being frowned upon.
Also, people might misconstrue a discussion about Zariff grooming Obama’s short hairs. Just because they’re short doesn’t of itself have any underlying lewd meaning. Tell that to the rumor mongers, however, who are dying to find out the names of everyone who has been in contact with those “short hairs.
My word to humor ratio has really been suffering lately.
Gotta work on that.
Accordion-o-rama: What, that he’s bald and sweaty down there?
is it is, or is it ain’t?
My God, the article actually recounts the events and tagline from that Just for Men commercial. Wow.
“Mr. Frazier had these words for Mr. Obama: “No play for Mr. Gray.””
And, also, I’ve got a pretty good feeling that he’s getting plenty of play.
Larry Craig: “Just for Men.”
And in other news… Michelle Obama’s hair: Real or weave? Inquiring minds want to know!
Jesus, it must be a slow news day. Seriously, who gives a f@#$!
When did ever article ever turn into US Weekly?
Dammit, and just when we need our country to be identified with someone young and vigorous–jeez, I guess we should’ve gone with that other guy after all. Oh, wait…
stop the presses: a middle aged man has some gray hair!
i think the world as we know it, has forever changed.
A little Betty Beauty and he’ll be back to black. Oh, the hair up there? Never mind.
To quote Hank Hill:
“Now if Ron Reagan dyed his hair, and I’m not saying he did, it was only to show his strength to the communists.”
I’m telling you, LEMURS! They have a whole society! A social STUCTURE! Ergo they have POLITICS!
Who is the Lemur Limbaugh? What is he saying right now? Who is apologizing to him???!1!
The NYT wanted to tell us that the secrets of the Illuminati are so shocking that all of the Presidents go gray upon discovering who really runs the world, and how, but of course that was not permitted for the article, so they had to stick with interviewing the barber. Quo vadis!
I wonder if any of these are Zariff’s menu:
http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1278/976360120_c1abc54377.jpg?v=0
snideinplainsight: I don’t think Lemur Limbaugh would do well in a female-dominant social structure, which is what lemurs have. Also, lemurs are cute. Rush does not qualify there, either. Otherwise, I’m interested in your research since I’m sure Hopey is also President of the Lemurs (check the ears).
Just For Men actually works pretty well. Nice thing is, there is enough product for two heads in a single application, so invite a gray friend over for a trip to the shower and get a two-for. Gotta save where you can in this economy. Maybe Barry can pass this along to the public, along with his stock tips…
Sussemilch: You know what’s really going to hurt? When someone younger than you becomes President.
which of bush’s vacations made his hair go gray?
bunnyhead: I use it the beard stuff, (on my roots, perverts!), and my husband thinks it’s just wrong.
Stupid photo selection–the dark hair one is of him inside, the “gray” hair one is of him outside. I’m a young dude (34) with a full head of gray hair, but when I’m outside it looks about 20x more gray than when I’m inside.
Not saying Barry doesn’t have gray hair, just that you need photos in the same light conditions to really decide if it has changed in the past 2 months. I typed “Obama outside” into the Google, and got a pic of him taken outside last May, and he had gray hair then. Oh noes!
Barry had to get rid of the gray for the campaign because he was running as the “youthful” candidate, just like Walnuts had to be full of horseshit because he was the maverick candidate. It’s all very political.
One Word: Extensions.
Does that box say “Just for Men” or “Lust for Men”?
Well, at least one Roman Emperor, Septimus Severus, is believed by many historians to have probably been black. So why not get a Septimus Severus haircut? Why reference a Charlton Heston movie? Or is this part of the token bipartisan bullshit show?
Thank God there was another black person in the newsroom to translate more of this “Black Parlance.”
And we wonder why the newspaper industry is taking a big old dump?
At least the headline held true to the NYT’s time-tested elitist formula:
,
In France, a War of Memories Over Memories of War
While Brooklyn Fusses, Newark Pushes for the Nets
For Italians in Brooklyn, Voices on Streets Have Changed
With Pledges to Troops and Iraqis, Obama Details Pullout
Serolf Divad: I once spent a day taking notes at High Gate Cemetery. When I came down my hair was white.
Jon Stewart and Anderson Cooper basked in their premature gray glory long enough - Obama’s the next silver fox.
As a partial grayboy myself, I can only say that I am glad to have something there.
at least the, uh, “reporter” scores points for refraining from referring to bush as a silver fox.
I’ve noticed Bush 41 still darkens his hair.
The tip of a Tampon changes color if you shove it up far enough the twat.
This is somehow a surprise?
=====
“Over the years, I’ve made a lot of predictions that have come true. Remember this one: two years from now, even those who supported Barack Obama most enthusiastically will be feeling a certain nostalgia about George W. Bush and secretly wishing they’d voted for John McCain.
“Yeah, I know, disgusting. But that’s the way the world works. Nobody alive today would willingly admit to voting for Adolf Hitler, although the third or fourth worst mass-murderer in history (behind Mao Tse Tung, Joseph Stalin, and, on a per capita basis, Pol Pot) won by a landslide. Once the outrages to come have ended and there are thousands — perhaps even millions — of Obama’s crimes to account for, would you want to admit to having voted to make those crimes possible?”
– L. Neil Smith
Hey, I voted for Mr. Tung back in 2000 but my vote was stolen by Ms Tampax. Life is unfair sometimes but I just shake it off and try try again. I wanted to vote for Hitler last election but he was always yelling in German was really too old and I wasn’t so sure he would be good for the abortions we need to feed the greedy Stalin cousins who are constantly dropping in at dinner time knocked up and hungry.
The last time I was surprised was about an hour and half ago. I’m constantly surprised.
Life is really wonderful now though for people like me just about everyday but if you mail me $15,000,000 a week I will be sorry I voted for Obama unless Pol Pot runs again in 2012.