Wonkette
Bland Maryland nobody Michael Steele could’ve gone the rest of his life bothering absolutely nobody at all — personally, he is about as offensive as a kitten. But fate and history combined to elevate him from “former lieutenant governor of some Eastern Seaboard state and perennial campaign loser” to leader of the Republican Party! All because those mean Democrats got a black man elected president and left the GOP scrambling to find anybody “of color.”
This peculiar job interview process has understandably left Steele with a weird view of the position’s requirements. This is why he tells the Washington Post, “I’m in the business of ticking people off. That’s why I’m chairman.”
What? Wrong on both counts. The “business” of being chairman of the minority (heh) party is to come up with a winning strategy for the midterm election and build on that in the next presidential election. It is very simple, and has literally nothing to do with “ticking people off” — the opposite, in fact, is what is required for this job. As for the “why” he’s chairman, is Steele the only person on the planet who doesn’t understand he’s an affirmative action hire, and hardly a consensus choice at that?
‘I’m in the Business of Ticking People Off’ [Washington Post]
Mike was right, everything’s going off the hook. But in a good way, for us.
Poor Steele. Honestly, I give him three more months.
I almost feel sorry for Michael Steele.
He has done a good job at finding common ground with racists though. Love of money will do that I hear.
meet the new boss same as the old boss
That dog looks terrified.
And that little dog is thinking “I’m in the business of peeing on people’s laps. That’s why I was elected.”
I’m in the business of ticking people off, then quickly apologizing to them, then suggesting that I never said anything in the first place, then giving softball interviews to sympathetic media outlets.
Fight the powers that be, Mr. Steele.
Well, it’s not all bad…At least now he’ll be able to hit those high notes!
ManchuCandidate: More like off the rails.
o/t - KEN STARR NEEDS TO EAT A BAG OF DICKS, therefore and also
Tommmcatt: Michael Steele - animal luvva
AnnieGetYourFun: three more weeks. then Newt Gingrich will step forward, tell everyone to shut up and say, “you’re making us look like asses and since none of you can handle this, I’ll just do it, again, myself”.
Shizznet, Dawg, I got more street in me than Michael Steele, and I’m Irish…
I almost feel bad for Steele, but then I think about all those sweet royalties he’s making from appearing in that choco man Axe commercial! He probably gets paid in body wash.
That looks like a FRENCH bulldog. Didn’t the Repubtards rename them Freedom Bulldogs?
It’s a misquote. Should be “I’m in the business of getting ticks off of people.”
In the immortal words of Homer Simpson, “Welcome to Dumpsville….population YOU!”
Also, nom nom nom.
‘I’m in the Business of Ticking People Off’
How could Mike have uttered anything intelligible to the reporter with Rush’s dick in his mouth? That sentence must have come out, “I’mf inr bidne ah tig pee off, ack ack ack.”
I can look at that picture every day for the rest of my life.
As long as librells are generally more logical/educated and the repug ‘base’ thinks Larry teh Cable Guy is funny I will continue to be confounded by Michael Steele.
“You don’t understand your job, baby? Well, let El Rushbo paint you a picture…”
“Now what did I say to tick you off THIS time, Baaaaaaay-bee?”
Whatchu talkin’ bout, baby? Doncha know I be jivin’ all the time, this ain’t no act to win over da colords? Dis how I roll, baby, dis is me keepin’ it realz. I represent, ya’ll.
he is about as offensive as a kitten
I have to respectfully disagree. He is deeply offensive in that he represents a particular sub-demographic of African-American males willing to humiliate themselves in the service of vulgar white puppetmasters in order to salve their inhumanly bloated egos. Substitute “former Attorney General of some midwestern state” and you have the Democratic representative of this odious species, he of the mausoleum. I am quite heartily offended, but then I don’t particularly like minstrel shows either, so maybe I’m just overly sensitive.
The next blessing for a slogan:
“Republican party: we’re here to tick you off.”
Actually, that might work for them. There seems to be a pattern within the party of getting pissed off for no reason that has been an incredible success.
“ticking” or “jacking”?
Because he seems good at just one.
Bearbloke:
They will do slash fiction based on almost anything, won’t they?
The de facto leader of the DOG.
Tommmcatt: …because you can’t see where
the steeleMichael’s other hand is.apparently limbaugh sent down the order for steele to keep making a fool of himself, so it’ll look less racist when they finally can him.
Country Club Jihadi: haha WIN.
…ironically Steele is the product of the type of AFFIRMATIVE ACTION that the GOP has accused Democrats of for years. The GOP has been using this “me to” line of attack for over 7 months now. First with Sarah Palin(as a watered Hillary Clinton), then Michael Steele(as a Barack Obama’s brain damaged doppelganger) and most recently Bobby Jindal(playing the role of “another Mooslim with a funny name”). In all reality, none of these people would hold their offices if not for the utter failure of their predecessors in already red states(exception: Dumbass Michael Steele)! And for the GOP to tout these individuals as proof of a new inclusive movement within the party, is an insult to peoples intelligences and smacks of tokenism. The Republican party has become so fanatically right wing, that they have managed to alienate/silence all the competent minorities in their party(i.e. Colin Powell or Olympia Snowe). Now they are left with brainless automatons that only know how to repeat talking points and suck Rush Limbaugh’s crusty asshole. In the end Palin, Jindal & Steele(plus any other minority they manage to dig up between now and the mid-term elections) will go down in a ball of flames; and the GOP will then hold this “experiment” up as the reason for why “minorities” are incompetent!
Scarab: The latter would explain the look on that dog’s face.
AngryBlakGuy: There is nothing better than trying to re-label the whitest group of people, possibly in the world, into some kind of African-American advocacy group. This proves that the GOP is
useless and moronicjust like the NAACP! Move over, Malcolm X! There’s a new sheriff in town!The plan is proceeding quite well actually. Of course Steele sounds like an idiot when you get him on camera, but I assure you that’s exactly what the dog planned.
I was just reading on the NY Times or something, and there are already a couple of high-level members of the RNC that are calling for his resignation. Kissing Limbaugh’s ring was the worst idea EVER. Everyone across the board would have given Steele kudos if he had stood up to Limbaugh, or, even better, ignored him. Duh.
I like it. Screw Howard Dean’s “50 State Strategy”. The GOP’s new slogan: F*ck All Y’ALL
At DKos they already nailed Steele for heavy spending on hookers. Scrupulously researched, with a lot of big words too. That didn’t take long.
I think he saw the ‘talent’ on the GOP backbenches and decided to rewrite the requirements of the job.
Instead of building the party, he has decided to host an elaborate game of Golden Age Hip-Hop Slang Bingo on squalid cable news talk shows. Check your Bingo card for the words/phrases “Homey,” “Da Man,” “I’ll House You,” “Skeezer,” and “Get The Bozack.”
Ok, Michael and Flavor Flave in the same room…go!
magic titty: Nobody will convince me that photo is not Larry David in blackface, doing some hilarious gonzo performance art. I mean, COME ON. It is so obvious. Even “Michael Steele” sounds like a name he’d use.
Mr Blifil: Guess they got some slum luv from a slumlord millionaire!
AnnieGetYourFun: Three months? Nobody could withstand another three months of this - either he’s gone in the next few weeks, or somehow, he miraculously weathers the storm. I apologize if it seems like I’m contradicting you. Also.
AngryBlakGuy:
Odd that the party of thugs/pederasts/diaper wearers/cowards masquerading as the Party of law and order/family values/warrior types would be accused of being the thing they “hate.”
They may want him gone (and my, that didn’t take long) but it’s not gonna happen. The trend these days is to dig in your heels, hold on by your fingernails and wait untill you are physically dragged out a la Hillary, Blago, Coleman and Burris.
I’m sorry, when I typed “rewrite the requirements” I meant “flip the script.” BINGO!
Tommmcatt: He actually looks–exactly–like Tom Tomorrow’s dog Blinky.
http://poetrydispatch.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/headtwo.jpg
Mike’s been used to being alone for a long, long time. He is quite arguably the ONLY black republican in Prince George’s County, MD. The other dozen or so Republicans in that county are either crazy or spend their time sitting at the bar at the VFW telling stories about the Old Days. Don’t write him off yet. He’s used to being ridiculed or ignored.
Here’s another video with a French bulldog that I recently discovered:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7_Nps1WhFQ
Discuss.
shortsshortsshorts: …I said it before and I will say it again! I would give a pint of blood and a pound of flesh for:
-Michelle “Street Slang” Bachman
-Michael “Spit or Swallow” Steele(ask Rush Limbaugh why he is named that!)
-Bobby “Hooked on Phonix®” Jindal
or any of the other hip-hop Republicans to be dropped off in the middle of the Bronx or Comptons!
Noodle Salad: The look of sheer contempt on Chuck D’s face when the Steele was attempting his hip-hop pander was fugging PRICELESS.
In the picture, we clearly see the left hand of Mister Steele, but where are the fingers of his right hand, and does that have anything to do with why that dog’s eyes are bugging out of its head?
Meanwhile, Borat has flown in from Kazhizstan to assume leadership of the Republican Party.
AngryBlakGuy: ITS REPEATING COMMENT DAY.
I love it.
ManchuCandidate: …the truly amazing thing is they are actually baffled, why no one is buying what they are selling! Which happens to be melamine tainted dog shyt, rolled in lead paint and sprinkle with AIDS infested hypodermic needles!
My favorite thing about Steele is how it demonstrates how the GOP really, truly doesn’t have a clue about the whole Obama thing. Using their retard logic, all the GOP can come up with is that Obama’s secret weapon must be his dark skin, his race, and apparently all that hip-hop slang he’s always using (because they learned from the TV that all black people speak in ebonics and come from the hood, yo).
randomsausage: That dog with Steele is a Boston Terrier. Not a French Bulldog (we have one of those, too). Difference in temperment & ears (if you look closely at side-by-side comparison pics.
loquaciousmusic: That black Frenchie (as they’re called) is trying to get the headband some goober thought would be cute off. They HATE to wear shit like that!
AngryBlakGuy: “Rush Limbaugh’s crusty asshole” Thanks for that ABG–I was just eating Taco Cabana & no longer have the will to finish my meal.
Anonymous Office Zombie:
Out of stupid simple minds come stupid simple solutions.
Anonymous Office Zombie:
Exactly. it would be as though democrats responding to Bush’s election win by getting some no-nothing plumber to head the DNC
Average dittohead: “I’d like to welcome our new Sherrif, a Ni(bong, bong)”
S.Luggo: You have a real gift for describing blow-job-speak. I’ve heard it done well, spoken aloud, in stand-up comedy routines. But yours is the first good written representation I’ve seen.
Steele issues clarifying statement:
“Once again, my mouth made words that my brain wasn’t thinking. I meant. “Licking” people off. Sorry for any confusion. We’re still on for 4:30, Rush?”
I still think he looks like that muppet unhappy-customer-guy in Grover’s restaurant.
Look, gosh darn it, he’s just keepin’ it real, yo.
And really, isn’t he just in the business of cowering and whimpering a lot? Rushbo would tell you that.
AngryBlakGuy: I have long felt that the best possible punishment for members of the previous administration (and yes, Michelle Bachmann) would be to drop each of them off, alone, at 1AM in any large urban downtown, armed only with a ratty old sleeping bag and backpack, and $5 for Taco Bell.
Of course we wouldn’t let them have a phone or ID, either. I’m sure none of them remember any actual phone numbers, should they find a public phone that hasn’t been ripped out and sold for scrap. And can you imagine them, after a few days sleeping rough and dirty, trying to convince some pissed-off beat cop that they are the former President, or Vice President, of the United States? Hell, there’s probably *five guys living in cardboard boxes in one square half-mile downtown* who claim to have once been the President of the United States.
Let them enjoy the consequences of their reign and their policies as they try to finagle their way back home. “By their fruits shall ye know them.” Let them eat the fruit they planted and tended.
Might be a funny screenplay, in any case.
Win.
What he’s not in the business of, based on yesterday’s experience, is being allowed to ride the Acela train first class! Maybe when he’s moved up from de facto leader of the Republican party to the de jure leader of the Republican party he’ll be given an upgrade.
He should also be in the business of defining his party’s philosophical grounding and political creed in the face of the many challenges the country faces today. Oh, wait: Rush Limbaugh does that. Never mind.
Bland, Maryland, and nobody? That’s not possible. John Wilkes Booth. Rubyfruit Jungle babe. Pink Flamingos dude.
Yeah, Steele needs to be gone. He’s ruining the “free state’s” formerly nonbland reputation.
gjdodger:
Ha ha, Tom Tomorrow, genius.
When Obama became the democratic nominee for US Senate, the Illinois Republican party called on carpet baggin Marylander, Alan Keyes. Now that Obama is president the GOP has picked another Marylander as point man for their “Long March” back to power. My question is what’s up with Maryland?
This prick is where he is for the same
reason that Jimmy Carter was eleted in
1976: the guy before HIM was so INEPT
that a well meaning lightweight slipped
through the cracks.
This moron couldn’t organize a gang bang
at a whore house. If he had even the
slightest political savvy, or one iota of
introspection, this insipid fuck would never
have even sought the position, because
(1) he would be in the thick of trying
to lead us out of this depression as a
senator or governor, or (2) he would
clearly see the ongoing criminal enterprise
that is the GOP for what it is, and
distanced himself from the stench.
shortsshortsshorts: Let’s not forget this is “the party of Lincoln”. Which is kind of confusing when one considers that Lincoln kind of liked black people…
I hope he stay in this job for life, the GOP will crow Rush king of wingnuttery forever and the rest of us might get some shit done.
whoops “stays”, that’s what I meant, “stays” really.