Wonkette
At a time when America was dangerously low on political comedy, swollen swamp boil Rush Limbaugh has come through like a champ — providing not only schadenfreude-sweet laughs, but a new gimmick for Democratic fundraising campaigns. All hoped out from donating to Obama last year? Which, you know, worked out pretty well? Maybe you’d like to throw some money at the completely juvenile effort to put a mean billboard in Limbaugh’s tacky town.
Or not, it would just make him feel “important,” which he seems to feel without external help. But, for the record, this is what your Wonkette submitted:
Send Rush A Message [Democrats.org]
Rush Limbaugh: he’s not as fat as his listeners are retarded.
This seems kinda low and petty. I think the money would be better spent on renting a young Dominican lad in a boy scout uniform and a video camera.
“Sometimes a cigar is not just a cigar.”
As much as I dislike the Republicans, it seems Democrats are doing everything in their power to remind me how stupid they are as well.
Is this the moment that the Rush pile-on jumps the proverbial shark?
no trucknutz? i’m disappointed.
Serolf Divad: As a sometime listener to El Rushbo, I can tell you you’re right. What’s weird is that Air America is/was just as irritating. All we’re left with is good ol’ NPR, with their triennial whine-a-thons, even though the McDonald’s heiress gave them all those munniez.
“4 Pre$ident of NAMBLA, the White (Angry) South”
STOP THE PRACTICE OF SPAYING AND NEUTERING, MR. BARKER
“Bring me Solo and the Wookie”
V572625694:
I like to listen to the Diane Rhem show with my friends and place bets on whether she’s going to make it ’till the end.
“Rush’s New Deal — Oxycontin and Viagra in every Pot!”
Can the Blingee picture shown above be submitted?
Pleeze, meester Limpaw, pleeze no hurty me there no more?
V572625694: NPR is quite literally the best media organization in the country right now, alongside maybe Bloomberg (for the straight-up financial news without the crazy ranting and propaganda you’d get on CNBC and the WSJ). I can barely even take MSNBC and CNN for more than two minutes without wanting to blow my brains out.
Hooray For Anything: You just don’t want to admit that the DNC can be BLEEDIN EDGE!
“See
King HippoRush take on Little Mac in Mike Tyson’s Punch Out!”-Nintendo
I don’t know how many of you Wonkette weenies have spent any time big game hunting.
But I’ve got to tell you: You don’t want to get a deaf, drug-addled rhino angry.
Not unless you’re carrying something in the .460 Weatherby Magnum class, or above.
Hey, wait a minute . . . .
I think I came up with a way to make $$$$$, even in a down economy/depression.
What do you think of: “The Most Dangerous Game: Stalking The Savage NeoCon?”
(Okay, with Hannity, you could use a BB gun. But the idea still is sound.)
…”Why so serioooous?!?!”
All they need to do is keep doin’ what they’re doin’:
“THE VOICE, FACE, & 17 CHINS OF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY”
“We’re so sorry, Uncle Rushbo
We’re so sorry if we caused you any pain.
We’re so sorry, Uncle Rushbo
But there’s no reason not to
Go on Oxycontin again.”
Rush, The Media Whore, is loving this!
Way to go, Dems.
knowing the usual humor standards of the Democrats, it’ll probably be something like:
RUSH LIMBAUGH OR RUSH BETRAY-US???
Forget the cigar, paint him up like a clown, and written in Democratic blood:
“Why so anti-American?”
Let’s be sure we keep gayz, women, liberals, jews, anyone who immigrated here after 1911, Californian’s, New Englander’s and of course colored people off these billboards.
“HAS A SMALLER DICK THAN ANN COULTER”
Suck it, fat boy.
Support Obama’s Budget & He’ll Give You Free Oxycontin.
…”One time in band-camp…”
DemmeFatale: Rush is more like the yeast infection living in the Republican Party’s Birthplace.
How about “Give us some skin, my man” ?
jagorev:
Nice!
“EPIC FAIL”
I vote for making his head explode:
“Decidedly NOT Carville’s Buttboy”
Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Führer!
“Nobody step on a church in my town” - Dr. Peter Venkman
Boshuda!
Serolf Divad:
You know, she’s not half as old as she sounds. I saw her in RL. No spring chicken, but not the wheezing centarian she sounds to be.
“IDIOTIC-IT’S WHAT’S FOR DINNER”
DemmeFatale: It’s a basic rule of warfare, as written by either Sun Tzu, Napoleon, or James T. Kirk (I can’t remember which), that whenever the enemy is imploding, just stand back and let it implode. By doing crap like this, they’re just making the Republicans remember who they’re really supposed to fight and stop imploding
But if you want a quote, how’s this “We Won– Suck on It Fatso”
“Oxycontin: it’s not just for breakfast anymore”
…”Verbal Diarrhea!”
“Wash this!”
Limbaugh: The other white meat
S.Luggo: “And sometimes it’s a big brown dick!”
Freedom Isn’t Fat-Free
Terry: Yes, I did an image search and I would hit that. But then, I have love in my heart for all God’s creatures, especially the wimmens. Training, you know.
I only got about two hours sleep last night so I’m enjoyment retirement by watching Pineapple Express so I’ll know what the kids today are up to today. I’m praying for you guys.
But as to this topic, I’ve missed the news for a couple of hours and just wondered if the Repugs had done anything massively self destructive while I was away. As to the billboard, my brain is far too dead to top wonkette’s. Bravo, brava, to whomever wrote it.
There’s nothing on now but–shit, damn, it’s O’bama, talking about health care. Now I really wish I could get high while I watch him renew our hope. (For legalization of drugs in the Bible Belt–where they seriously need to mellow out.)
“MY SHIT SMELLS LIKE SWEATY MEAT”
“I don’t know how many of you Wonkette weenies have spent any time big game hunting.”
The depends - does rifling through the shelves at a Toys R Us for a Monopoly game count?
BobLoblawLawBlog: When you die at Caeser’s, you really die at Caeser’s
My billboard suggestion:
Dear Rush,
Trunk Nutz. The end.
Regards, America
“We’re sorry for this sign. We did not mean to offend you.”
Rush Limbaugh — Too Big To Fail
Hey–I just noticed they’re going to pick the best one. Who’s going to pick? Is there going to be a vote? It’s been days since we were stuffing cyber ballot boxes for “our” wonkette.
Hooray For Anything: Exactly. Hopey knew how to do this perfectly. Dems should just keep back and watch the show instead of trying to butt in with un-wanted script changes and ad-libs.
Hooray For Anything: Agreed. And FTW, also.
Rush and Meth keep America moving.
SuperOxyHeartattckViagraFueledSexFiend
S.Luggo: I was going to say “…cigar is a big brown juicy p3n15…”
What are they gonna say about him? What are they gonna say? That he was a kind man? That he was a wise man? That he had plans? That he had wisdom? Bullshit man!
Rush: If gonorrhea had a voice.
How come everyone is picking on Geddy Lee’s band?? Cause they are Canadian?
Hooray For Anything: Actually, James T. Kirk’s rule of warfare was: if you can’t fuck it, fight it - then fuck it. Sun Tzu said either “attack where the enemy is weakest” or “man who can catch flies with chopsticks can do anything”. And Napoleon either said, “‘Impossible’ n’est pas français” or “no, no, it must have more cream”.
Neilist: If he got paid another 20 million a week he would do it. Just don’t let that Hasselbeck woman from the View get involved she is wiry and smarter than she looks and talks. Basically it’s a great idea and you better sell it now before it gets stolen. Hell, I would totally get cable again to watch it.
V572625694:
I would hesitate to use “good old” and “NPR” in the same phrase, unless you were being sarcastic. They’re just a higher-toned version of corporate media, packaged for the self-congratulatory leftie-lite bourgeoisie.
http://nprcheck.blogspot.com/
“Miguel, I’m out of ranch dressing”
Terry: She suffers from laryngeal dystonia, a neurological disorder which affects her vocal chords.
Airborne Toxic Event:
If gonorrhea could get gonorrhea.
Cold War Unicorns: And bigger tits!
…”Got penis pump?!”
Hooray For Anything: Agree with you on both counts.
What’s happening now is that both sides are playing roles with which they’re not familiar. Republicans are still reeling from the shock of not being able to buy the either the congress of the WH. Losing a bitch, and they’re not doing it with the aplomb of the Democrats who euphoric over the fact they won. The Dems are getting giddy, which is dangerous when you’re dealing with snakes (water moccasins, I’m thinking).
The first side to get its footing wins. Now I’m going back to the stupid movie I’m watching.
Fatty had a party, and nobody came
shortsshortsshorts: Win.
Bring me a bucket!
Sponsored by the EIB* Network
{small print} *Excrement in Broadcasting
If you lived here, you’d be home now!
Lock your car doors and do NOT pick up hitchhikers next 5 miles. Registered sex offender drug addict close by.
“AM radio was established to allow unattractive men easier access to the mainstream of society”
“Conservatism was established to allow unattractive men easier access to the mainstream of society”
To-may-to to-mah-to.
Johnnie French: Win!
Or use any of these actual Limbaugh quotes:
“The most beautiful thing about a tree is what you do with it after you cut it down”
“The only way to reduce the number of nuclear weapons is to use them.”
“There are more acres of forestland in America today than when Columbus discovered the continent in 1492.”
“I am addicted to prescription pain medication.”
montresor: I don’t know, listened to talk O tha Nation lately? More like Clear Channel-Lite. They have this new thing where they request that only republicans call in. They were spinning Jabba’s TP yesterday.
“Rush, we liked that Tom Sawyer song, but that’s about it”
…”Now with WIDER stance!”
montresor: “They’re just a higher-toned version of corporate media, packaged for the self-congratulatory leftie-lite bourgeoisie.”
Well fuck, then, what does that leave? LINK?
Oxycontin makes a Euphoric Rush
All your Oxy belong to Rush
“If in my tinkering I have fallen short of the human form by the snout, claw or hoof, it really is of no great importance.”
“Lemurs: Secret Social Life Surprisingly Complex”
Woodwards Friend: Thank you.
Serolf Divad: Would that make Rush “King of the Retards?”
Designated enemy is what is going on but Bush was going to be gone in 8 years no matter what.Rush will never go away no matter what he says or does.
Rush=Bush
I think that is the best you can do with a public highway sign. Oh, the cigar photo should go away it’s confusing.
And hey, I was right about Burris never leaving his Senate seat. Shouldn’t I get an Ipod shuffle or something?
Before Oxycontin
http://www.popentertainment.com/RushDSC_0028.jpg
After Oxycontin
http://visualblip.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/06/rush011.jpg
Flip a coin I guess….
Cold War Unicorns: Yikes! The only thing scarier than Ann Coulter is picturing her as a tranny! That would explain her man-hands, though.
Johnnie French: Now see, the billboard is still a dumb idea, but that’s funny.
ainm cleite: I watched a snail crawl along the edge of a straight razor. That’s my dream.
“Shoot on sight!”
TGY: You’re right. So then it was either Julius Caesar or Admiral Akbar. I always get those two messed up.
And for another quote: I can haz Oxycontin
My slogan: Cigars - they aren’t just substitutes for thumb-sucking. They’re Freudian fake PENISES.
Too long, probably…..I’ll need to make it punchier.
Today’s Rush Limbaugh, he gets high on you, and the space he invades he gets by on you.
I meant “So then it was either Julius Caesar or Admiral Akbar. I always get those two mixed up.” Darnit, I blew the joke
ainm cleite: Are you an assassin?
how bout just this:
‹^› ‹(•¿•)› ‹^›
Look upon me! I’ll show you the life of the mind!
MASTERBASTARD RULES LARDTOWN!
or simply a photo of an Oxycontin saying ‘Eat Me.’
jodyleek: Point!
“Not Wearing Pants”
MY DICK HAS TURTLED
sux2bu: Ass should never be seen as sin
shortsshortsshorts: If this is not actually on that sign I am going to cry a thousand tears. So much win.
Hooray For Anything: Right. Just stand by and let them implode. That’s a tradition in politics. But for some reason, the Democracts seem to have made a deliberate decision to attack Limbaugh by name. Even Obama did it. There is some method in this madness. I think the idea is to denigrate him and identify him as the head of the GOP, thereby denigrating the GOP.
Sorry I used a word with “nigra” in it.
How about, “Who run Bartertown?”
Monsieur Grumpe: It’s only wahffer thin.
Whatever happened to his infamous housekeeper/dope mule? Eh?
shortsshortsshorts: you win.
Terry: Serolf Divad: Actually I believe Diane Rehm has some condition that makes her talk like that, kidding aside. Out here in my part of Southern Colly-fornya we don’t get her show, which is a mixed blessing.
jagorev: I heartily agree that NPR is the best “media” news organization, if by “media” you mean broadcast stuff. NYT and WSJ are still pretty decent too, one must concede.
montresor: NPR gives us much to dislike, and I grind my teeth every time I hear them call themselves “commercial free,” but it is still better than anything else on the radio.
“Rushbo: Oxy/Viagra fueled, Dominican underage hooker approved.”
WAISTLINE ON LOAN FROM GOD
or “You know this cigar doesn’t smell like vagina.”
Ann Coulter & Rush Limbaugh “They Numba 10, GI”
Its a visual.
“Asshole on billboard may be dumber than he appears”
“Socialismo o Muerte!”
All your base are belong to us!
Neilist: “ut I’ve got to tell you: You don’t want to get a deaf, drug-addled rhino angry.”
Hannity and Beck are already promoting revolution and revolt. What the fuck else is Rush going to do that won’t alienate his sponsors? He’s reached his limit as far as not breaking his 400 million contract, so making him uncomfortable is a win.
Not to say that this billboard isn’t going to be hamfisted and unfunny, but provoking the insane is sometimes advantageous if it turns off his flock.
EPIC WHALE
“Rush, shown actual size.”
Gopherit: “or ‘You know this cigar doesn’t smell like vagina.’”
If you could bottle “resort poolboy”, he’d buy the lot.
Needed: A woman willing to sex Rush Limbaugh to death. (shouldn’t take long, as much as his heart must be enlarged)
Take one for the team.
mocowbell: More like, “All his base are belong to 10th IQ percentile.”
jagorev: NPR is literally like a place where people are always saying “literally” when they mean “figuratively” or just “is.” You, on the other hand, are clearly as mad a hatter in the batter for thinking NPR is good. They suck eggs. Too.
Rush: The Elephant’s Elephant.
SWOLLEN SWAMP BOIL, that’s the stuff…
I’ll go ahead and nominate “throbbing tubeworm” and “quivering hagfish” as future alternatives… I been watching teh PBS
I’m really glad to see a new pic up too, instead of the cigar one - I’m sure he thinks it makes him look lika a badass. We really need an animated gif of that wonderful bouncy thing he did during his speech - the DCCC commercial used it well.
CaliforniaMike: You’re gonna have to put that ad in the Gaza Tribune or the Khost Valley Gazette, ‘cuz that’s a suicide mission.
CaliforniaMike: Woman?
Run, Fatboy, Run
IN YOUR HEART, YOU KNOW HE’S FAT.
Maus: Just remember, you don’t put a scope on anything in the .460 Magnum class.
The recoil almost always results in you taking a divot out of your forehead/eyebrow.
Anyway, when the Crazed Limbaugh charges, you’re going to too close to use a scope anyway.
The Magic White Obese Dude
xeonwonder: WIN!!!!
“Assfat On Loan From Pluckers’ Wing Factory”
V572625694: The NYT continues to employ Tom Friedman and Maureen Dowd, and they pretty disgraced themselves in my view with the whole McCain-lobbyist-sex story, and have you seen the WSJ’s editorial page? (yes, their financial reporting is mostly okay)
NPR would never have stooped to innuendoes about sexy lobbyist sex.
Terry:
I just found out she has Parkinsons. Now I feel like a total asshole. Thanks for ruining my day… me.
FMA: Absolutely. It’s the foreign nature to Rush — sex with a woman — that will put that much more stress on his heart. Although I admit the possibility that Rush may not have a heart, only a giant fat muscle that keeps the blood moving.
Bring Me Another Cabin-boy,
This One’s Burst.
“We may be drunk on hope but tomorrow morning, you sir will still be a fat sack of leftover taint shit.”
Can we all agree that exclaiming WIN is about as sparkling and fresh as (a) yelling GET IN THE HOLE while part of a PGA gallery (b) attending a Rocky Horror Picture Show revival?
I hereby declare myself a hypocrite and exclaim WIN for Mr. Mutt’s suggestion.
Serolf Divad: She doesn’t have Parkinsons, she has spasmodic dysphonia.
And she has more intellect in a fingernail than Rush could ever hope to have in his entire morbidly obese self.
Serolf Divad: … but you should still feel like an asshole.
Monsieur Grumpe: Mint, Mr. Creosote?
Rush Limbaugh: Bigger than ever.
Monsieur Grumpe: WIN
(suck it, norbizness)
GET TEABAGGED W/TRUCKNUTZ
“The father of modern stupidity.”
http://www.buffalobeast.com/134/50mostloathsome2008-full.html
shortsshortsshorts: FTW
“Sometimes the o’le cigar needs a little help.”
Fatty Arbuckle, eat your heart out!
shortsshortsshorts: Nailed it.
haha! I submitted the same. can we share a t-shirt if it wins?
What happens in Santo Domingo STAYS in Santo Domingo. (I hope!)
J-Man: So does Rush, of course. His little DR “wife” Jose has been making noise about wanting to live with Rush in Ammurrika.
Johnnie French: What you said…..although our esteemed editor’s suggestion of “Free Princess Leia” is a solid back-up.
shortsshortsshorts: Try to remember, shorts, Democrats are really trying to work on the whole “not being complete pussies all the time” thing.
So, what again is the point of the DNC blowing a decent chunk of its fundraising on a pointlessly symbolic billboard? The neighbors don’t look like the type to care much about frivolous sloganeering, and Rush himself naturally WANTS to see the DNC waste money, since it basically writes his talk show script for him.
Rush Limbaugh: Giving cancer-plagued orphan children a one-man bukkake since 1988.
CaliforniaMike: Alternatively, he might just refuse, making some noise about how she wasn’t pretty enough (or “too liberal” for him). And since he can’t get it up without Viagra anyway, you might be expecting more than he’s got.
chascates: And, where is the Crisco?
Jollity: Then we’ll have to resort to our experimental Mann Coulter fembot.
Fatasaurus Rex will eat you if you’re not careful!
Your Slogan Here
Po-tee-weet?
shortsshortsshorts: I really think this would be a good idea and makes the whole billboard thing potentially effective.
I mean, “We’re sorry for this sign. We did not mean to offend you.” is genius. It is funny. It is impossible for anyone to take faux offense, without looking like a complete pussy. And it is a very clever way to point out how all of the GOP is genuflecting and apologizing to the Great Sack every time he tells them to eat dicks.
Seriously. This is perfect.
“THE GODFATHER”
One could also go with “THIS GENERATION’S RONALD REAGAN”, although that would probably cause Republicans to flock to the billboard and utilize it as a Mecca of sorts.