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CHEAP SEX JOKES

Obama Does Not ‘Tap’ Other Women

Poor Hillary.Man, remember back in the Democratic primaries — which were still going on at this time last year — and all the terrible jokes and speculation about Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton having angry anger sex all the time? What was up with that, huh? It’s like the notion of having both a female and a male candidate for president was so novel that people could only put it in context by thinking about that other thing men and ladies like to do together, besides run for president. Fortunately, we’ve gotten over that terribly juvenile little hump, and now even the New York Times can admit that Clinton and Obama are definitely not fucking. (Thank you loqaciousmusic for the tip!) [New York Times]


9:43 AM on Thu March 5 2009
By Sara K. Smith
1438 Views

  1. ManchuCandidate says at 9:48 am, March 5th, 2009

    Given a choice between tapping Hilsbot and Michelle, I’m with Barry. I’d rather tap Michelle.

    Anyone figure out that Hilsbot is Sec State and unlike our previous Sec State, she’s kinda busy dealing with a lot of problems right now?

  2. Noodle Salad says at 9:53 am, March 5th, 2009

    Is he pimping her out, though?

  3. loquaciousmusic says at 9:57 am, March 5th, 2009

    Not to brag, but that was my tip.

    Do I get a free pair of Truck Nutz™ now?

  4. Norbert says at 9:59 am, March 5th, 2009

    heh heh, you said hump

  5. bitchincamaro says at 10:00 am, March 5th, 2009

    And “gay” still means “joyful” at NYT. Especially if it’s your middle name.

  6. Mild Midwesterner says at 10:00 am, March 5th, 2009

    Who knew that Hillary was a source of fresh water?

  7. bitchincamaro says at 10:01 am, March 5th, 2009

    loquaciousmusic: heh heh, you said tip

  8. Come here a minute says at 10:02 am, March 5th, 2009

    Juvenile little hump? Oops, too late.

  9. Carrie_Okie says at 10:04 am, March 5th, 2009

    Also, I’d rather hit Hillsbot than Madeleine Albright. But only slightly. Either way, I’d just be using her to get to Chelsea.

  10. Dramatist says at 10:08 am, March 5th, 2009

    The White House should learn from “Friends”. People only keep watching if there’s a “will they?” or “won’t they?” question about the co-stars getting together in the end. The New York Times just made the Obama Administration jump the shark.

  11. Editor SK Smith says at 10:08 am, March 5th, 2009

    loquaciousmusic: No, but you get a proper acknowledgment in the post!

  12. DoctorCulturae says at 10:09 am, March 5th, 2009

    All I know there is a lot of tapping going on: first it’s Larry’s Craig’s feet, then Barry taps Sebelius, and then he taps Hilbots ideas, but not actually her.

    I’ll now tap some homemade brew and a fresh batch of hobo beans.

  13. Mr Blifil says at 10:09 am, March 5th, 2009

    So wait, he told Clinton to go fuck herself?

  14. Dramatist says at 10:10 am, March 5th, 2009

    loquaciousmusic: You get a date with Newell. Bon appetit!

  15. davesnothere says at 10:12 am, March 5th, 2009

    Say honey, I’d sure like to tap your ideas…

  16. loquaciousmusic says at 10:12 am, March 5th, 2009

    Sara K. Smith: Yay! Acknow-whatever! That’s a big word for a LIBRUL!

  17. WadISay says at 10:32 am, March 5th, 2009

    I sort of miss the Bush-on-Condi (or was it the other way around?) action.

  18. Internally valid says at 10:41 am, March 5th, 2009

    So, wait, how do you fuck an idea? Cause i’ve had my eye on that sexxy string theory for quite some time . . .

  19. shortsshortsshorts says at 10:48 am, March 5th, 2009

    He tapped Geithner, he tapped Emanuel, but nah, he shant not tap a Clinton. Not even Chelsea. That secksist bastard.

  20. Lascauxcaveman says at 10:58 am, March 5th, 2009

    Internally valid: You sound like the fun sort. You should come over some time an see my collection of Occam’s Razor porn.

  21. frumious_bandersnatch says at 11:24 am, March 5th, 2009

    I’m still waiting for Hopey/Bill Clinton angsty Resentment!Buttseks. Bill is such a total bottom.

  22. V572625694 says at 11:37 am, March 5th, 2009

    shortsshortsshorts: Yeah and that Geithner thing is working out great.

  23. Accordion-o-rama says at 12:02 pm, March 5th, 2009

    Mind fuck!

  24. frumious_bandersnatch: Rahm would never let him that close to Hopey.

  25. masterdebater says at 12:10 pm, March 5th, 2009

    I read the first three words and was horrified, as were the rest of you, and then I decided to just sit back and wait for the inevitable “I’d tap it” comments. Well?….

  26. loquaciousmusic says at 12:24 pm, March 5th, 2009

    masterdebater: No inevitable “I’d tap it” comments because no one would. Also.

  27. ALIVE! says at 1:29 pm, March 5th, 2009

    WadISay: It’s like we’re in an INXS song.

  28. loquaciousmusic says at 1:34 pm, March 5th, 2009

    “Like pretty Kate has sex ornate”? Whatever are you implying?

  29. tender says at 5:05 pm, March 5th, 2009

    If I see one more “So-and-so taps X headline…”

    I guess I’ll laugh at it again.

  30. Brendan M. says at 11:02 pm, March 5th, 2009

    Okay, funny headline, but the main point should be that it is a really fucking stupid article. Hillary Clinton is the Secretary of State, the United States’ chief diplomat, and she represents the entire country. She doesn’t get involved in domestic policy or partisan politics. That is SOP.

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