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Wonkette’s troll “Daniel” informs us of this delightful section on the Obama Moneypage in which you can view scanned .PDFs of the various governors’ letters of certification of stimulus package funds (a.k.a the paper they sign to get their DOUGH.) Most of the states that have already signed their certifications are ruled by liberal Democrats who write simple, professional letters quoting the section of the legislation that requires their signing-off. Texas’ Rick Perry, on the other hand, writes a whiny bitch thing, because why is he even taking this money that he doesn’t want?


Dear Mr. President:

I’m writing you today in response to stipulations set forth in H.R. 1, the $787 billion stimulus package you signed into law yesterday. As you know, I have been vocal in my opposition to this legislation because I believe there are better ways to reinvigorate our economy and believe H.R. 1 will burden future generations with unprecedented levels of debt.

Throughout the years, Texas taxpayers have sent substantially more dollars to Washington than we receive on issues ranging from transportation to border security and hurricane relief. As I have said during the debate on H.R. 1, should Congress pass stimulus legislation using Texas tax dollars, I would work to ensure that our citizens receive their fair share.

On behalf of the people of Texas, please allow this letter to certify that we will accept the funds in H.R. 1 and use them to promote economic growth and create jobs in a fiscally responsible manner that is in the best interest of Texas taxpayers. I remain opposed to using these funds to expand existing government programs, burdening the state with ongoing expenditures long after the funding has dried up.

BLAH BLAH BLAH umm will the welfare queen stop making excuses?

State Certifications [, Texas .pdf]

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