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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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94 comments

  1. Serolf Divad

    Tonya Harding and Rush Limbaugh… if half the battle is choosing your enemies wisely, then Obama is the fucking Sun Tzu of contemporary American politics.

  2. pondscum

    [re=257750]Serolf Divad[/re]: That’s it. You’re officially going on the list of men I would leave my husband for.

  3. The Station Manager

    I’m sorry, I think I’ll have to watch that again. I couldn’t have possibly seen the real thing due to all the crazy that was obscuring the image.

  4. Incredulicious

    Seasons change, people are born and people die, empires rise and fall, but Tonya Harding’s hair style remains unchanged. Her curling-iron bangs are the only true stalwart in my otherwise chaotic life. Godspeed, Tonya. Godspeed.

  5. badmuthagoose

    a) No Tanya, I won’t pay money to come see you. Never have, never will.

    b) He wasn’t talking about YOU, he was using what you DID as a metaphor.

    Gah. She’s so stupid it must hurt. Also, she’s on pills or hootch or something in this video. She sounds like I do after a Vicodin and a cranberry-vodka cocktail of an evening.

  6. voyetra8

    God, she’s so hot. I don’t know if it’s her meticulously curled bangs, or my suspicion that she has smoker’s breath or what… but the fact is, I’d hit it.

    With a lead pipe.

  7. ManchuCandidate

    Yes because until Obama said it in a campaign speech, I thought Tonya Harding stood for sportsmanship, good will towards men, and well done sex videos.

    For shame, NoBama. For SHAME!

  8. badmuthagoose

    Just to clarify: I don’t start yelling that I’M TANYA HARDING AND I DON’T CARE after a vicodin/cran-vod evening. I just get that happy slurry sound in my speech.

  9. lennixlewis

    Hahaha they dragged Tonya from her trailer in Tacoma (hey! also a meth lab, weird!) to do an interview with some dude?

    And where do we go see her, doing what now?

  10. badmuthagoose

    lennixlewis: a while back I thought I read something about her wrestling nowdays. She’s definitely got the upper body for it. Or something.

  11. BillyClubb

    “People forget who Tonya Harding is.” No, sadly, they don’t. And it doesn’t help that Tonya still has that godawful “claw” hairstyle.

  12. Colander

    I feel like my job’s firewall is really taking something special away from me this time.

  13. friendlynerd

    I’d like to see her strap on some figure skates and slur around a rink right now.

  14. Mustang

    What a proud old angry ice whore! She’s mean and ugly and she’s tenth generation white trash!

  15. One Yield Regular

    I will gladly take Tonya Harding up on that bet, unless, uh, paying money to come see her involves seeing her whack Rush Whatshisname in the knee-cap with a bat.

  16. lennixlewis

    [re=257771]badmuthagoose[/re]: Ahhh. That makes more sense, especially because we’ve been talking a lot about drug use vs. body weight like in the case of Rush. She was an inconsistency!

  17. Mustang

    I think Joe the Plumber can cancel his contract with eharmony, because … have I got a gal for him!

  18. Bruno

    Jeebus, how could someone have a better hairstyle 15(?) years ago than they do today? Even if you’re going bald, you’ve got to be better looking than you were back then, especially if you go with the Mr. Clean look (personal favorite).

  19. Custerwolf

    [re=257762]Incredulicious[/re]: My god! I was thinking the same thing. Do you think she just takes that sheet of chopped hair covering her forehead and roll it up all in one go – or to you think she does it piecemeal?

  20. Bruno

    I think she realized how Joe the Plumber ‘got famous’ and wants a piece of the action. WHATEVER IT TAKES

  21. SayItWithWookies

    How indignant she is that people only remember her for cheating at an Olympic sport. It’s regrettable that that happened on her watch.

  22. CorkPopper

    [re=257762]Incredulicious[/re]: Oh God, those bangs! Don’t people who come from trailer parks read celebrity tabloids? And don’t you think they would notice that nobody famous anywhere wears their hair like that any more?

  23. chascates

    And the photos of her from the wedding night video are burned into my mind and no amount of liquor can remove them.

  24. comradepaulson

    I want to hear what Wendy the Snapple Lady thinks of Obama’s plans before I form an opinion.

  25. MarSF

    She is the ultimate PUMA! Another innocent woman victimized by Barry on his path to power!

  26. c-sick

    i kept waitin for ashton kucher to come out and tell us we’ve been punked, but im glad he didnt, the douche chills i was gettin from her were already too much to bare.

  27. Custerwolf

    [re=257784]FunkyPalmettoBug[/re]: And all this time her local McDonalds thought she wanted the leftover fryer grease to manufacture biodiesel.

  28. ushutyurmouthwhenurtalkintome

    I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. Did she say people pay money to come see her? I wanna know who is paying to see this garbage can. I have a trash can in my kitchen. $5; I’ll show it to anyone who pays to see T. Harding ANYWHERE! I’ll even paint a pair of tits and a big HUGE ASS on it if you like that sort of thing.


  29. Post author
    Jim Newell

    [re=257757]burton judson[/re]: I was sick. What is happening in politics?

  30. Hooray For Anything

    Goldberg’s on O’Reilly a lot whining about left-wing media bias and how the press coddled Obama during the election. Good to see Goldberg is out there, putting his money where is mouth is, and taking on issues that the press has been too scared to address.

  31. ushutyurmouthwhenurtalkintome

    [re=257788]policonoclast[/re]: I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. Did she say people pay money to come see her? I wanna know who is paying to see this garbage can. I have a trash can in my kitchen. $5; I’ll show it to anyone who pays to see T. Harding ANYWHERE! I’ll even paint a pair of tits and a big HUGE ASS on it if you like that sort of thing.

    BTW: you should read some of the messages left on the “fan site”. They are hilarious!

  32. Fivetree

    I am not sure I would even pay money to see her get knee-capped. Also, times have obviously been hard on Tonya as the apparent absence of any stylist can attest. I really don’t like her – okay, I’ll admitt I did like seeing her beat the crap out of Paula Jones. Other than that, she’s a total waste of human flesh and a souless pile of trash.

  33. AnnieGetYourFun

    The amazing thing to me is when white trash actually KNOWS that they are white trash and actually have some sort of pride in the title. That’s right, Tonya, go grease up your leather jacket with the ‘Taz’ patches all over it, and take your mulleted kids down to the corner store for a carton of cigarettes. I’m only assuming that you have kids, which would explain why you are now so fat.

  34. AnnieGetYourFun

    I also really like the mix of outrage and smugness. “HOW COULD HE NOT BE THINKING OF THE COUNTRY AT A TIME LIKE THIS???!?!” as though Obama actually sits around and THINKS about Harding, and wasn’t making an offhanded comment about political tactics. “I’M GLAD HE TALKED ABOUT ME AT A TIME LIKE THIS BECAUSE PEOPLE GIVE ME MONEY WHEN HE TALKS ABOUT ME WHEN HE SHOULD BE THINKING ABOUT THE WAR AND THE ECONOMIES AND OUR FREEDUMBS.”

  35. Spunion

    Yes, Tonya’s secret wedding night pron video burnt my retinas to a crisp, and yet I would pay a king’s wages to watch her and Joe the PlungeMiester make sick, dirty love.

  36. DeLand DeLakes

    [re=257803]CorkPopper[/re]: When did celebrities actually wear their hair like this? And no, DJ from Full House doesn’t count as a famous person.

  37. american mutt

    Wow. First Obama gets me laid (i’m even dating the girl) and now Obama finds work for Tanya Harding.

    Is there anything this man can’t do?

  38. sezme

    Truly, how dare Nobama attempt to diminish the incandescent glow of America’s Sweetheart?

  39. shellyboo98

    LOL, oh, Tanya. To quote my much beloved, deceased grandmother:
    B@#$h, ain’t nobody worried about your tired ass!

  40. assistant/atlas

    [re=257806]comradepaulson[/re]: LULZ! Also, is that “Where’s the Beef?” lady still alive? And what about Crazy Gideon? Won’t someone think of Crazy Gideon?

  41. Unindicted Co-Conspirator

    [re=257875]sezme[/re]:
    That Kerrigan site is awful!
    But what can she do, her sire was Trigger & her dam was Buttermilk!

  42. Gallowglass

    When I saw “Tonya Harding Slams Obama…” in the title to that video, all I could think was “…in the kneecaps with a baton,” Kicking it old school.

  43. Scarab

    You know what the worst part of getting old is?
    Seeing recent video of people you used to masturbate to.
    BTW, how’s Natalie from The Facts of Life looking these days?

  44. ShamWow

    [re=257788]policonoclast[/re]: Those “fan site” messages are hilarious and creepy all at the same time. I sure hope she sends Jethro some used panties for him to play with

  45. Gallowglass

    I really enjoyed that video. Blind self-obsession mixed with aggressive white-trash mentality and the slightest tincture of twenty-years-ago fame. The guy interviewing her was awesome too. Its rare to see such open disgust, embarrassment and contempt displayed by an interviewer.

  46. Tommmcatt

    Perhaps the best way not to have your name become synonymous with the term “terrible fucking cheat” is not to, you know, have your boys try and break the knees of your number one rival at an event televised worldwide.

  47. Red Zeppelin

    Yeah, but I bet Marion Jones is pro-Obama. He probs is ahead overall in the discgraced athelete demographic. Where does Floyd Landis stand on this?

  48. S.Luggo

    [re=257763]badmuthagoose[/re]: I’d pay to see Tonya and Rush in a face-off involving a 20 pounds of ribs. However, the ribs would have to be removed from the cow first.
    No cheating, guys. (You especially, Ton.)

  49. badmuthagoose

    I know this is way too easy, but here goes:

    1. HEY HOW DARE OBAMA MENTION MY NAME!

    2. That’s ok, everytime he mentions my name, I get JOBS, so SUCK IT AMERICA!

    Isn’t that pretty much her argument? So Hopey can just start mentioning her again and she’d be…happy? Hopey? Dopey?

  50. Count Snarkula

    That is some crispy looking bangs she is sportin’ there. Yeah, mighty crispy looking.

  51. Custerwolf

    [re=257946]PsycGirl[/re]: Hey that’s not fair – at least he’s already apologized for his career.

  52. Custerwolf

    [re=258055]Count Snarkula[/re]: Dear god thanks for the memories – I actually fried mine off once (true story) trying to acheive that same coy look.

  53. Judas Peckerwood

    [re=257784]FunkyPalmettoBug[/re]: “Has she been eating nothing but sticks of butter since that Olympics?”

    Tonya Harding = the new Butterstick?

  54. Red Zeppelin

    [re=257784]FunkyPalmettoBug[/re]: Yeah, except it’s that trans-fat laden margarine that the poors prefer (Bluebonnet or somesuch). I think she’s also using it on her hair.

  55. Custerwolf

    [re=258089]Red Zeppelin[/re]: Wasn’t she named the honorary mascot for Country Crock?

  56. problemwithcaring

    [re=257827]Jim Newell[/re]: Shouldn’t you be asking qualified political expert, Joe the Plumber, instead of snarky women bloggers?

  57. Custerwolf

    [re=258111]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: What he thinks of all this? Isn’t it written all over her bangs?

  58. windupbird

    She actually looked worse a few years ago when she took up boxing. Also, the act should be referred o by its proper name, GILOOLY. Also.

  59. Red Zeppelin

    I didn’t realize that she was the mom in That 70′s Show and perforce Lois on Family Guy. She’s made some interesting career moves since attacking Nancy Kerrigan (who was like a jillion times hotter, if also much icier colder as well).

  60. Red Zeppelin

    Is it Tonja with a “j”, Tonya with a “y”, Tonia with an “ia” or just “Twat”?

  61. Gayer Than Thou

    [re=257926]Scarab[/re]: God, nothing kills a boner faster. Not that I ever, ahem, pleasured myself to Tonya Harding.

  62. sailingthestyx

    [re=257767]badmuthagoose[/re]: thank you, thank you, thank you…I had abdominal surgery this week and I almost laughed my stitches out…

  63. risqueclay

    I’ve loved Tonya ever since she beat the shit outta Bill Clinton’s secretary. You go girl!

Comments are closed.