yeah well john mccain is a secret panamanian

Tea Party Shocker: Most Of These People Are Nuts

Cleveland! It’s a hot town! This guy went to one of them Tea Party protests on Friday, discovered that pretty much everybody there thought Barack Obama was a foreign-born Alien Muslim, etc. You know, the usual. And now a swarm of insane people have flooded comments on the video with actual gibberish like this: “harlem style wheeling and dealing and the multiple lies Obama ahas gathered are not what the USa can toelrate and i’m just saying that thinking that jiving can get you through is a far shot for US politics and Obama is not adapted for this job not in 2009.” Democracy! [Blogger Interrupted]

About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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  1. norbizness

    This is what happens when you’re home schooled with a PlayStation 3 as your primary tutor.

  2. jodyleek

    “harlem style wheeling and dealing and the multiple lies Obama ahas gathered are not what the USa can toelrate and i’m just saying that thinking that jiving can get you through is a far shot for US politics and Obama is not adapted for this job not in 2009.”

    Grammar compliments of Sarah Palin. Also.

  3. Serolf Divad

    Until I hold Barack Obama’s actual birth certificate in my hand, signed in the blood of Jesus I will not accept that he’s a U.S. Citizen.

  4. CampbellBrown'

    The modern face of the GOP is now the creepy Jesus lady who hangs out downtown and yells about the gays and abortionists going to hell. Please nominate all these folks, RCCC!

  5. The Rev. Yevot

    Wait, I’m confused about the movie. So the cops knew that internal affairs were setting them up?

  6. Gayer Than Thou

    I’d watch it, but criminy! It’s over six minutes long. I have PlayStation homework to do — I don’t have time for that.

  7. AngryBlakGuy

    …shouldn’t he be in locked in mothers basement masturbating to a life size cut out of Sarah Palin?

  8. norbizness

    Additional superficial thoughts (i.e. with the sound off):

    0:26 Don’t take the bumperstickers out of the protective plastic! NOW THEY’RE NOT MINT CONDITION!
    0:32 The telltale wrinkled chin of the defiantly stupid.
    0:52 Please, God, throw in a medium shot, because the close-ups are killing me.
    1:01 Nothing like warm mead and chattel slavery to get a party started.
    1:05 John Popper from Blues Traveler must be very disappointed at how his son turned out.
    1:38 Krugman? You’re a Browns fan?
    1:53 I always wondered what Nursie from Blackadder III was up to these days.
    2:15 I’d recognize that faux Members Only jacket and that messed-up hair anywhere… it’s Matthew “Break My Stride” Wilder!

    Ugh, that’s enough. My RBA (recommended biennial allowance) of ugly people has been reached.

  9. norbizness

    [re=257393]Gayer Than Thou[/re]: Please explain, in 3.5 paragraph style, why Killzone 2 is a million times awesomer than regular Killzone. Use only l33tsp3ak and texter idioms.

  10. AngryBlakGuy

    [re=257388]Serolf Divad[/re]: …and it must be printed on the “Shroud of Turin” and delivered to my doorstep by the apostle John, wearing a Palin/Jindal 2012 t-shirt!

  11. Hopey dont play that game

    I couldn’t watch the whole thing (the stupid burns!), when does the steamer happen?

  12. BadKitty

    [re=257397]Norbert[/re]: Word. I was born in Ohio but by the age of 2, I was crawling for the border. Never been back.

  13. norbizness

    [re=257399]Serolf Divad[/re]: I guess that makes “God mode” totally redundant.

    Lisa: Where are the dice?
    Todd: Daddy says dice are wicked.
    Rod: We just move one space at a time. It’s less fun that way.

  14. Mahousu

    I was impressed that less than 50% of the crowd appeared to be obese. The new depression-era diet plan is working!

  15. EjectGoose

    The only thing more annoying than these people is the smugness of the guy behind the camera.

  16. twowheeljunkie

    I actually work with people that believe this shit.

    Was any other president ever ask to provide a birth certificate.?

  17. wawa

    Thanks for this. If I see any of these morons on the street, I’ll be sure to kick ‘em in the shins. FWIW, most of these morons probably were bused in from the ‘burbs. Cleveland is cool, it’s just surrounded by people who would rather live in 1820s Mississippi.

  18. binarian

    [re=257408]Mahousu[/re]: ….also out of work, apparently. Get jobs, you lazy slackers!!!

  19. DanginMpls

    Oh come on, this is like shooting fish in a barrel! I guess I can accept that on a mercy killing basis.

  20. NoWireHangers

    Oh mah Gawd! Trolls walk among us! I thought daylight turned them to stone. Well, I guess it was overcast that day. This video just reinforces my firm belief that you can sense that someone is a Republican before you have confirmation.

    Also, I had to rewind the video because I thought their tea said “beaner tea”.

    I was more surprised that it didn’t.

  21. KristaJulieva

    Maybe this is a little late, but I’d just like to give a sarcastic shout out to the people who held a Tea Party in my hometown of St. Louis…dumping tea into the Mississippi River. Who the fuck bought that tea, you ‘tards? The time honored tradition of Tea Parties is you dress up like Injuns and destroy your enemy’s tea. You don’t buy a bunch of tea and then throw it in a body of water. Fucking idiots.

  22. jagorev

    When our founding fathers wrote and ratified the First Amendment, it’s pretty clear they didn’t have YouTube commenters in mind.

  23. sarcasticusername

    twowheeljunkie: other president’s weren’t brown, so it was much clearer that they weren’t america hating radical muslin commies. you see, a lot of brown people have quite a few reasons for not being such big fans of america sometimes, so a lot of white people are afraid that they may indeed not have a permanent boner for america, and thus they need more proof than can ever be provided in order to soothe their fears.

  24. Woodwards Friend

    All right wing-nuts, you win. I officially no longer believe in evolution. If natural selection existed this tragically useless genetic material would have wasted away generations ago.

  25. qwerty42

    [re=257404]Hopey dont play that game[/re]: I couldn’t watch the whole thing…
    I couldn’t either. geeze, just seeing a bunch of goofs like that is a lot — how the heck can someone stay to get their idiot reactions to anything? Well, in our new communistical, muslinic atheistic anarcho-syndicalist regime, with everyone getting gay abortions, I guess this is what we can expect.

  26. Garrrry

    He should have told them that McCain was born in Panama (a fact!) to see their heads implode.

  27. jagorev

    I officially no longer believe in evolution. If natural selection existed this tragically useless genetic material would have wasted away generations ago.

    Or it could just be that evolution favors ignorant sociopathic assholes. No one ever said being nice and educated and thoughtful was a survival advantage.

  28. Giant Robot

    [re=257444]Woodwards Friend[/re]: And why would all those nice protesters be wearing heavy coats and scarves if we really had global warming?

  29. MARCdMan

    We had my buddy’s bachelor party in Cleveland. He was beaten by the cops. Cleveland sucks.

  30. jagorev

    [re=257464]MARCdMan[/re]: To be fair, cops are assholes everywhere. At least he didn’t get shot or raped, as would have happened in the liberal havens of California and New York

  31. Lavender

    [re=257457]jagorev[/re]: in fact, due to overpopulation, it is the thoughtful sane people who are choosing to breed less, thus ensuring that the remaining breeders are of lesser intelligence. It’s the end of the world as we know it. Next up? Bees take the evolutionary step to self awareness and evolve into the Borg.

  32. davesnothere

    I think we can clearly see the bitter disappointment these folks are feeling, now that they’ve realized there will be no actual teabagging today.

  33. ericblair

    I live in Cleveland, and this doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface of how godawfully dumb its population is.

    Somebody, please get me out of this hellhole!

  34. Bruno

    [re=257444]Woodwards Friend[/re]: If conservatives don’t believe in evolution, how come they believe in Social Darwinism?

    Anyway, I’m glad that they do, because that will hopefully keep them in their places forever.

  35. El Vista


    Before teh Global Warming, Cleveland would be iced-in, and these people had to play tea-baggies in their pathetic, Raskolnikovian garrets. Darn, I miss those days.

  36. Mad Farmer Manifest

    [re=257403]Big Liver[/re]: [re=257477]Lavender[/re]: Idiocracy was not funny, just horrifying. Of course, I think nature has same major selection pressure in store for us. Being smart with few children might actually turn out to be the better breeding strategy, evolutionarily speaking. Sorry, geeked out a bit.

  37. Packherd

    Oh my. There’s at least three (3) good 2012 slogans in there for the RNC:

    “Harlem style wheeling and dealing.” (‘Watts style’ and ‘East Bay style’ are also acceptable)
    “Jiving can get you through.” (used ironically; possibly used in satirical hip hop)
    “Obama is not adapted for this job.” (followed by “He’s just not the type of person we want in the White House…”)

  38. greywindz

    [re=257448]qwerty42[/re]: You forgot “crypto fascist hand jive in the form of fist bumping”, mate…also.

  39. Barry don'

    The guy wearing the fedora posted a “rebuttal” on youtube under the name “PwninatorMaximus.”

  40. Come here a minute

    If these people would just read Barack Obama’s book Dreams from My Father, all their questions would be resolved.

    Ha, ha, just kidding–I know they can’t read!

  41. Johnetic

    [re=257532]Mad Farmer Manifest[/re]: Speaking as someone who actually did get his law degree from Costco (they are up front by the Customer Service booth, between the California Closets displays and the tires), I can say that Idiocracy was more documentary than comedy or horror movie.

  42. Iforgotohio

    I believe in two things: The awesome force that is the Cleveland Browns and the illegitimacy of the Obama presidency!
    I can’t wait to go back to Cleveland for a week next month. It’s not at all depressing.

  43. superfecta

    [re=257427]KristaJulieva[/re]: Amen! (Is this the point at which I ask you where you went to high school?) Here’s my question: is the guy who spent the early 90s doing his anti-Clinton puppet show behind a shower curtain in Harvard Square working on this important endeavor? Seems like it would be right up his street.

  44. kth

    Knit-cap lady is beautiful, though. I’ll go to her church and sing freaky praise music, and do that Xtian “raise the roof” thing, if she’ll only have me. I even thought of a couplet they could use: “Throw your hands in the air! And wave them like you REALLY DO care!”

  45. Gayer Than Thou

    OK, so if Obama actually had the power to coerce both the Hawaiian and the Kenyan governments into lying about his birth certificate, why would he bother with the headache of being US President, especially in these circumstances? Wouldn’t he take Michelle (and the girls — or maybe they’d still go to Sidwell Friends; it’s a good school, after all) to his underground lair and plot actual world domination, instead of risking being the fall guy for Bush-created disasters?

    That’s what I’d do, at least. That, and install spycams in certain men’s lockerrooms. But that’s just me.

  46. Scott-san

    I kept waiting for someone to rise above, or at least surprise me. So along comes the big-toothed girl who admits that she’d seen some of the evidence of Obama’s birth certificate. A glimmer of hope? (Nope.) “I voted for Sarah Palin.” Bzzzzzzzt! YOU LOSE!

  47. ExecutorElassus

    BO-ring! Jeez, couldn’t this guy do more than pull the obvious douchebag move of asking everybody there – over and over in montage format – whether they believed Hopey was a Real ‘merikin? That’s just as insufferable as those tedious buzzkills that show up at parties and start talking the gold standard. If you really want to show that they’re out of their minds, you have to get way past the truther bullshit.

    c’mon, man! Have some ambition! Why isn’t Liz Glover out there? If this were a Wonkette joint, it’d be goddamn performance art. Also.

  48. electroj

    Hey, don’t pick on Cleveland, we didn’t vote for Palin! Cleveland voted for Obama by a 6 to 1 margin. Cuyahoga County voted for Obama 458,000 to McCain with 200,000.

    These tea party people came from the hinterlands and are GOP plants on public square. I think is type of theatre would play better further south in the state.

  49. Numbat Dundee

    Personally, I’ve always found that jiving will get me through anything. I jived my way through college and now I’m a Professor of Jiving. I’ve also got all of my own teeth. And I’m not even black!

  50. TexasCowGirl

    [re=257421]twowheeljunkie[/re]: No, but they were all white and therefore “real Americans” by definition.

  51. qwerty42

    [re=257831]electroj[/re]: maybe they came down from the UP?
    [re=257569]greywindz[/re]: “crypto fascist hand jive in the form of fist bumping” Yeah! do we need any Stalinist references or is “communistical” sufficient? maybe kronstadter?

  52. kona farmer

    80 comments and only 1 passing reference to the “Cleveland Steamer.” Maybe Wonketeers prefer the “Alabama Hotpocket.”

  53. Senhor Tambor

    That was hard to watch. Yep. proud to be a Clevelander today…

    Go Tribe. But bring your birth certificates.

  54. montresor

    I live in Cleveland and these are my neighbors. There’s been talk for years of a “brain drain” from this city, all the halfway intelligent people leaving for better jobs in smarter places. What you see here is what’s left after the drainage. It’s quite an experience to live among such morons day in and day out. I myself would leave if I could!

  55. heathenish

    Hopey dont play that game: I couldn’t watch it all either. Jesus these people are dumb. and scary also

  56. Sparkleplenty27

    OK I get that you all are Liberal Loons who have consumed too much kool aid to be rational. That’s fine. But despite the fact that this question to YOU ALL is far too rational for you to comprehend, try really hard to see if you can come up with a reasonable answer (that makes sense).

    Now if your answer is that he already provided it – NO HE HAS NOT. And if he had, why all the attorneys still battling to keep the birth certificate sealed? What he provided is a document that anyone can get. It does not prove birth or show any details – it merely certifies a birth took place, which is not the same as a live birth document which in every instance provides hospital, attending nurse and physician, names of parents, birth details of baby. THIS DOCUMENT HAS NEVER BEEN OFFERED AND IS CONTINUALLY KEPT SEALED.

    Any meager amount of research and you can discover for yourself – while you are trying to come up with a decent explanation of the enormous effort to not provide a true birth certificate.


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