Wonkette
So, British Prime Minister Gordon Brown was at the White House today, where he was SNUBBED by elitist American Barack Obama, who did not worship the Special Relationship enough to hold a joint press conference with Brown. Also, who the fuck cares about Gordon Brown, right? Unless you want to talk about a country with an even worse financial/banking situation than the United States, that is!
Anyway, we were bored by this diplomatic visit by a Head of State — it’s not like we get to attend the Tuesday Night concert/cocktail party at the White House, right? Who’s playing tonight, anyway? Probably Radiohead or Pulp or T. Rex or a Beatles reunion or something.
Maybe the notoriously wacky London tabloids would have a crazy angle? We went through all of them, and only The Sun had something vaguely funny, about Gordon Brown “Nose” powdering his face before his audience with Obama. So the English papers suck now, too.
Make-up Leaves PM Red-Faced [The Sun]
The chick on the left must be Britain’s best Brown noser.
You wouldn’t think a Scotsman would need to have his nose artificially redenned. Gordon, you’re working too hard!
What’s the matter Barry? YOU WERE BORN IN ENGLAND, WEREN’T YOU? YOU WOULD THINK HE WOULD WANT TO RECONNECT WITH HIS HOMELAND.
Is that pic taken through a porthole on the HMS Queen Mary?
Wrong! The Guardian UK has a caption contest:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2009/mar/03/gordon-brown-caption-competition
Onie coof can ken there’s nae profit in sic a thing for our new Laird! It’s back to the bonny banks o’ Doon for Gordo! Fie on thee, clan Gordon!
One Yield Regular: Yes that is linked in the post, “powdering his face.” It’s also not funny.
But still not as funny/awful as Sarko’s make-up session:
http://www.textually.org/tv/archives/2008/07/020630.htm
Maybe the British Consulate should have hired an Obama impersonator to meet with Brown and they could take some photos showing Brown doing all sorts of important looking things so the people back home will be really impressed?
When T. Rex rocks the East Room, I am ready for the rapture.
Yeah, who the hell cares about Gordon Brown when HuffPo has a slideshow of Michelle Obama’s flats:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/03/02/michelle-obamas-flats-com_n_170987.html
Ken Layne: My apologies. I’m getting as lazy as Richard Cohen.
Consanguinity just doesn’t apply anymore.
If only they had a picture of him putting on his poofy wig.
Maybe British leaders were born to be the bitches of their manlier American counterparts. Maybe it’s Maybelline.
“You are tired, you are getting sleepy, you will fall into a deep trance. When you awake, you will feel refreshed and grateful for having met our demi-negro overlord.”
Ken Layne: Hey, does Jim still work here? Has he been “laid off”? Or is he getting some kind of elitist “vacation”? Just noticed there was a paucity of insane rage today.
FUCK THE NEWS SHOW US PAGE 3
Lionel Hutz Esq.: Gordon’s a Scot. I believe that you mean, “poofy skirt.”
I wonder how Meghan McCain feels about “Labour Party” dating.
Fox n Fiends: http://www.seatheaterrepair.com/install/page3.jpg
S.Luggo: Maybe we can compromise with something like this: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_l8xeX8k9lgo/SPQd2omFYEI/AAAAAAAAIQw/Lyq9zhBC2ZI/s400/EdQuinn_kilt+3.jpg
Hooray For Anything: Bravo on the Flight of the Concords reference.
you apparently missed the scintillating daily mail piece about the potential first lady fashion face off, filled with all kinds of fun disparaging comments about their clothes and weight. screw gordon’s makeup, this historic boring meeting was obviously all about the fashionable first lady summit.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1158795/Clash-First-Ladies-Who-triumph-style-stakes-Sarah-Brown-meets-Michelle-Obama.html#comments
Maybe Barry didn’t want to do the joint presser with him because Gordon Brown’s about as exciting as a pile of mashed potatoes.
It’s nice not to have to cringe when our leader meets furreigners & who has not (so far) mangled their names or heck, even the English language, assaulted them, thrown up on them or tried to go out the wrong door.
OMG! So now there’s yet another Brown in the White House? I tells ya, they breed like rabbits!
One Yield Regular: “After a meeting with City Bankers a PA wipes off the Brown nose.” FTW!
At least the British tabs have topless photos on page 3. That would definitely help sagging newspaper sales here in the U.S. The Christian Science Monitor should give it a shot before they shut down this spring.
Actually Gordon Brown is not the head of state for the UK. The Queen is. Gordon Brown is the head of government. That’s why Brit PMs are generally so submissive around US Presidents; it’s not just the lesser political, economic and military strength of their nation; it’s the smaller penis.
The Sun and the Mail are too worried about former Big Brother contestant Jade Goody’s cancer right now to get excited about Gordon’n'Barry. You’re nobody if you’re not dying or dead in Britain right now. It’s all the rage.
Maybe the P.M.was receiving communion before he met with that atheist Barry.
Lazy Media: And who will powder his penis?
Have the Decemberists played the White House yet?
Hopey was getting payback for what Hugh Grant did to President Billy Bob in “Love Actually.”
ALL THE P.M.’S STANDING IN THE LINE FOR THE BATHROOM!! ALL THE P.M.’S STANDING IN THE LINE FOR THE BATHROOM!! ALL THE P.M.’S STANDING IN THE LINE FOR THE BATHROOM!!
Fuck The Sun. 20 years after Hillsborough and they’re still a shower of cunts.
That would be awesome if they reanimated Marc Bolan’s corpse to sing I Love to Boogie.
Lazy Media… The same in Canada, Australia, and the rest of the Commonwealth.
The Governor General represents the Queen in these countries and happens to be a black woman in Canada. Yes, your neighbours to the North are governed by a black chick! And how smug ya’ll got with Barry!!
Also.
This adds another layer to “What can Brown do for you?”
Hooray For Anything: Someone watched Flight of the Conchords, but I’m not saying who.
MGBYG: Not governed - RULED!
The Sun has always sucked. The only thing that has ever redeemed them slightly is their pun-tastic headlines. My favourite was its response to North Korea testing a nuclear weapon: HOW DO YOU SOLVE A PROBLEM LIKE KOREA?
Everytime the teevee says Gordon Brown is next, I get excited for a split second then remember: Damn, the real Gordon Brown. Not the David Morrissey Gordon Brown from The Deal.
So . . . How about that Open Thread thing? Is that kicking off or what?
I think that’s just a nose massage. Very big in the UK this year.
chascates: “The Christian Science Monitor should give it a shot before they shut down this spring.”
I’m a devoted subscriber and mourn the passing of my five day a week fix of civilized journalism (you didn’t think that’s what I consider wonkette, surely) but when I read that, all I could think of was Mary Baker Eddy.
But yeah, I would have gone for it, before I gave up my Monitor. Bummer that the board includes the Board of Directors of the Church of Christ, Scientist. Prabably would have been a hard sell.
wheelie: Hey–I suggested that last night. If we can just nail down when Ken signs off, I think we’d be okay. As to Jim–as I’ve said before, I’m sure we could kick his ass.
I have typed and deleted another Flight of the Conchords comment about five times. Like the White House meeting question from Bret: “Will the Queen be there?” Murray: “It’s not that important.”
The posters are the best. New Zealand…It’s not Australia. Woolcome to NZ, with the beefy guy shearing sheep. NZ: Bring Your Mum. NZ: Why not?
DustBowlBlues: I can’t think of any other paper, except maybe the old Manchester Guardian, that packed as much real information into such a small space. If they go forward with a weekly issue I’ll certainly subscribe to that.
If someone would just come out with a lightweight, affordable e-reader that was about 11×17 (with wi-fi) that could get a monthly subscription to papers for about $5 a month each . . .
Christ, whent they have a state dinner for Gordon Brown, does it necessarily involve haggis? If so, will the Brits serve chittlings on the return visit? So many questions about protocol!!
The Gordon Brown picture is an allusion to this clip of Gordon Brown picking his nose.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VaP1HB7Vew
chascates: Hey! We are reading the same papers. In graduate school, a professor let me keep subscribing to the cheap, air-mail Guardian Weekly. I used to read shit in there about the Viet Nam war that never got covered in any of our newspapers. The Monitor will be weekly, which will at least mean I’ll have something besides Ent. Weekly (which is full of reality tv shit and takes about 15 minutes to read these days) to stack on the back of the toilet. What I love about the Monitor is the small size. I find myself at the Drs. office with nothing to read but his fucking golf magazines and voila–there’s an old Monitor in my bad. Even a month old, I find stuff that I didn’t take time for the first time I read it. Or just skipped.
I’m completely on board with the e-reader idea. Including the price.
DustBowlBlues: So the Guardian isn’t publishing its dead tree daily edition any more? This is a tragedy. I haven’t been to the UK in a couple of years, but all of the other papers are just comical, intentionally or not. Even the Times has the editorial standards of an evening tabloid in a middle sized US city (if such still exist). Still, UK papers do have some positives: page 3 girls, double entendre headlines, sports reporting (cricket, football, horse racing only). Will really miss the Guardian on my upcoming trip.
Lazy Media: Except, of course, Margaret Thatcher’s. GIANTEST. TROUSER. SNAKE. EVAH11!!111
It looks like his ears could use a bit of a dusting, too. I bet he can receive short wave signals from Nepal with those bad boys.
Red Zeppelin: The Guardian is still published daily, the Guardian Weekly is a different publication.
As far as I know, the British papers aren’t all bankrupt yet.
As for comical papers, I’d say that the Guardian or the Independant are worthwhile reading. Both lack a Page 3 and too many double-entendres, though.
iwillsavethispatient: It is like London’s New York Post, but more TMZ-like.
PAP ATTACK!
On southern redstate governors (and our beluga princess Palin): “Mediocrity is seductive, it makes failure easy to live with…”
chascates: Did you really mean to use “topless” and “sagging” in adjacent sentences?
We present the new “face” of Maybelline… (stop licking the wrist…btw…!)
J-Man: Is there another way to describe the American economy? Give it a chance.
J-Man: No, but the unconscious is stronger than the conscious. My mental state is droopy and my spelling is desicated.
if pulp were playing, i’d be booking a flight to dc pronto.
i hope they play ‘this is hardcore’ for the obamas to dance to.
chascates: Spelling and “reality” are overrated if you are Michael Steele. Are you Michael Steele? Because that would be downright HOMIE SLAP THEM HOES. (the irony is that most of the bible belt is doing that at this very moment.) Meet the new (ahem) face of the GOP.
wheelie: “The Sun and the Mail are too worried about former Big Brother contestant Jade Goody’s cancer right now”
So’s the New York Times…. Which may go some way to explaining its recent financial ‘difficulties’.
Oh, and Ken, Gordon is Britain’s head of government, the head of state is still Her Maj.
wheelie: I won’t beleive Jade has cancer until she is dead. This whole thing reeks of a massive publicity stunt to cover up her racism against Shilpa Shetty.
There’s going to be some miracle that happens to “cure” her alleged cancer so we’ll be cursed with Jade in perpetuity.
Red Zeppelin: FYI/the Times is now even published in tabloid format so that gives you an idea about how low it has sunk with Mr Murdoch involved
Nasal Brownian motion. Eeew.
Lazy Media:
And we all know that the Queen’s Royal Strap-On (adamandeve.com have the Royal Warrant as Purveyors to HM the Queen) humbles even the most well-endowed world leader.
The most well-endowed world leader? Hans-Adam II, Prince of Liechtenstein, followed closely by Chuck Norris, Prince of Pain.
cal: Naw, but Shiny Toy Guns are slated for the Naval Observatory in May. America’s favorite crazy uncle, Joe Biden, is a big electro-rocker.