That's racist!That Barack Obama, so articulate and clean and Harvard-y …. yet, did you know he was of African descent? This sort of slipped by during that whole two-year presidential campaign, but “OWN THE IDIOT CABLE-NEWS CYCLE” webzine The Politico has some “fresh” gossip and it goes a little bit like this: The Black People, in this country, it’s almost as if they have their own “slang,” comprised of dual-meaning words and phrases used to undermine White America. And Obama, he is hep to this particular jive!

You know what will be a fun thing to report, on a political blog? When The Politico is closed down and folded into Gawker like every other website. Meanwhile, we shall maintain our boycott by linking to the latter instead of the former. (We still link to Ben Smith, though!)

While we wait for the Economy to mete out its horrific justice, enjoy this “inside peek” at whatever the fuck Obama is up to with all the “we straight” and basketball and “South side of Chicago,” which is just a lyric in a very white Jim Croce song, right? RIGHT?

It’s a good thing The Politico made its only African-American reporter do this article, for authenticity. In case you missed this historic civil-rights advance, “Nia-Malika Henderson, a Newsday reporter and one of the few black print journalists who covered Sen. Barack Obama on the campaign trail, is joining Politico, the political newspaper and Web site that promised to improve its staffing diversity after its sole African American reporter left last month to write a book.”

Barack Obama’s Secret Black Person Code Language Revealed [Gawker]

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  1. Oh, brother…. Oh, Brother, where art thou?

    When our President starts to speak in Kiswahili, won’t that be da bomb? (or whatever superlative should be used by the code-speakers… I came from Detroit, but the East Side when it was… umm, sorry, white….)

    Tuta onana badaye.

  2. Savor the awesome, people…. savor it:

    In January remarks about the economy, Obama made a reference to “American dreams that are being deferred,” a phrase black audiences understood without a citation as black poet Langston Hughes’.

  3. Anybody wanna make odds on whether this story was already sitting on the screen of Nia-Malika Henderson’s (new politico-of-color) computer when she showed up on her first day?

  4. Yeah, son! Them Politico beeyotches is mad ill and shit. Especially when they be sayin’ Barack Obama invented ‘black people swagger’.

    Christ. Who’s up for some arson?

  5. Serolf Divad says at 1:38 pm, March 3rd, 2009
    – Reply

    Savor the awesome, people…. savor it:

    In January remarks about the economy, Obama made a reference to “American dreams that are being deferred,” a phrase black audiences understood without a citation as black poet Langston Hughes’.

    Really, couldn’t they say that he was speaking some frightening “english major” language here by referring to *gasp* a poem!!


  6. First Politico Guy: Shiiiiit, maaaaan. That Obama brotha muf’ be messin’ mah White House… got to be runnin’ cold upside down his head, you know?
    Second Politico Guy: Hey home’, I can dig it. Know ain’t gonna lay no mo’ big rap up on you, man!
    First Politico Dude: I say hey, Rush, Jindal, Steele… subba say I wan’ see…
    Second Politico Dude: Uh-huh.
    First Politico Dude: …pray to J I did the same ol’ same ol’!
    Second Politico Dude: Hey… knock a self a pro, Slick! That class warfare shit perform us DOWN, I take TCB-in’, man!
    First Politico Dude: Hey, you know what they say: see a Dem to get dat booty yak ’em…
    First Politico Dude, Second Politico Dude: …leg ‘er down a smack ’em yak ’em!
    First Politico Dude: COL’ got to be! Y’know? Shiiiiit.

  7. “Yo, what’s up with white people, right? Here’s a white person running for president: ‘Affirmative, we can accomplish these objectives!” Here’s a black person running for president: ‘Yes we can, dawg, na’sayin?'”

  8. [re=256875]Serolf Divad[/re]: And then – as if on cue – millions of 8th grade English students rose from their seats and executed Secret Muslin Order 66

  9. Without this Politico article, I would have remained forever ignorant of the fact that Langston Hughes’ poems were encrypted.

  10. The secret code he is using is the well-constructed use of the English language.

    We are not used to logic, critical reasoning, and most importantly follow up – through actions – based on the conclusions drawn from the employment of that language.

    Someone dump a dictionary in the lap of a red-stater and say “look it up cracker.”

    This sht is sick.

  11. I never understand it when Black people talk (of course I am so white I think mayonnaise is a spice). Thank goodness Politico hired the Negro whisperer.
    Don “No Soul” SImmons

  12. I expect a similarly hard-hitting follow up report on Michael Steele’s secret black code messages: “Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.”

  13. My word! A black man living in America who code-switches when speaking to different people? Heavens! Alert the linguistics departments at all major universities. They’re going to want to hear about THIS.

  14. Hey, it’s just like that scene in Airport. We honkies need instantanious jive-talk translation. Maybe Politico has finally found a mission, other than being the Repubs’msm alibi.

  15. Geeze, I finally read the Politico article. What an arch, pompous and cattily racist piece of twaddle. You lost; he won. Get used to it. Repeat. Often.

    Until it gets into your segregationist heads.

  16. So when Michele Bachmann said ‘you be de man’ she was actually in on the plan and sending out signals to Obama’s secret army? Shit, no one is safe now!

  17. Breaking news: People talk differently! Sometimes, if someone talks different from you, it’s a tad confusing! Plasters are bandaids in Britain! Woah!

  18. [re=256878]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: You mean you didn’t get your decoder ring as a thank you gift for your donation to the Obama campaign? Everybody else got one…

  19. So the Obama administration is just like Airplane the movie? .. and the problem is? Hey home’, I can dig it. Know ain’t gonna lay no mo’ big rap up on you, man!

  20. No really. It’s true. There really is someone named Langston Hughes and Black People know who he is without even looking up his name or anything. He wrote something about a dream deferred. I only know this because I am acquainted with a negro.

  21. To clarify, this is not the Hughes who stored his urine in mason jars and wore Kleenex boxes on his feet. Or maybe it is. I forget. That poem about not putting the revolution on TV was awesome, though.

  22. It’s not a code. It’s called “knowing things about your country’s history.” Which to the report was tantamount to a secret code, I suppose.

  23. [re=256878]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Just decode Randy Jackson’s comments on Idol Wednesday night and all will be revealed, homie dawg.

  24. Just for that, Bob Johnson should buy Politico and rename it “BET in Black and White.”

    Now, what was that kid talking about yesterday when he said he’d shovel my sidewalk for “some cheese?” When I was a kid, the old folks paid for snow shoveling and lawn mowing in American dollars. Has the New Depression gotten that bad?

  25. [re=256875]Serolf Divad[/re]:

    Well thank God someone understood what the hell Obama was saying. Who ever heard of “Americans,” and what are these “dreams” that they have. And what the hell does “deferred” mean. My assumption is that it is the call for the start of the great race war that will end with Charlie Manson being crowned by Rush Limbaugh as Emperor of Whitetopia. But I assume that about everything that Obama says.

  26. OH SNAPS GAWKER SHIT-TALKIN’ DOWNRIGHT. Damn foo, you might as well pop a cap in Denton’s ass.

    Token black writer. Also.

  27. [re=256884]Ken Layne[/re]: Well, well, well. Just another limousine liberal without the courage of his convictions. You will never be able to lead a murderous cult from your undisclosed location in the California desert that way.

  28. Barry’s secret code reminded me to DVR the Cosby Mysteries last night. It’s mad useful, y’all.

    [also, we should all be happy Nikolai Denton gave us our Wonkette and didn’t stick it into one of his belly folds. could you imagine?]

  29. Gawker sold off/destroyed all the blogs I read: Wonkette (which is much better now thank god), Consumerist (which is still good too), and Defamer (which is killed but it’s bloggers will blog again elsewhere). Why does Gawker hate America?

  30. If we’re lucky this is all part of the Great Detoxification, like the DTs. Ain’t pretty, but there is the schadenfreude aspect.

    “Daddy, how did you behave when we had our first black president?”
    “Well son, I tried to obstruct everything he did, I said racist things, and even when I couldn’t I made stuff up so other people would get all riled us cause of the color of his skin.”

  31. [re=256878]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: I heard from Biff down at the country club that if you go watch some “What’s Happenin'” re-runs you can get hip to that funky jive. It gives you some insight into the Negro perspective, as well. You know, we have to try to understand these people.

    Oh, wait, you are OF the colored persuasion. You should get this. Oh dear, maybe you have a genetic flaw?

  32. I often find Obama’s speecehs full of confusing slang and I’ve always wondered why.

    Good thing Obama has found subtle ways to let black America know that he is, in fact, black. Without that swagger he might be in danger losing their vote to Romney in 2012.

  33. If you changed the masthead that piece of shit on Politico could have passed for an Onion article:

    “Nah, we straight,” Obama replied.

    The phrase was so subtle some listeners missed it. The reporter on pool duty quoted Obama as saying, “No, we’re straight.”

    But many other listeners did not miss it. A video of the exchange became an Internet hit, and there was a clear moment of recognition among many blacks, who got a kick out of their Harvard-educated president sounding, as one commenter wrote on a hip-hop site, “mad cool.”

  34. [re=256938]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: …there are Pro’s and Con’s to being the token (fill in the minority)!


    -Not expected to actually do anything
    -If they fire you its easy to accuse them of racism
    -Every time you raise your voice you get exactly what you want


    -You are expected to explain all things (fill in the minority), to ignorant ass co-workers.

  35. We white people can strike back by developing our own code based on the teachings of our true leader, Rush Limbaugh. For instance, when we say “nigger,” we mean “person of color.” And vise versa.

  36. [re=256880]magic titty[/re]: [re=256884]Ken Layne[/re]: I think all of Politico’s toilets exploding, causing a literal “shitstorm” would be funnier.

  37. Aren’t these the same folks who were saying at one point that Barry wasn’t black enough?
    The fact is, he talks like a well educated native English speaker, and it’s tearing them apart inside.

  38. “In January remarks about the economy, Obama made a reference to “American dreams that are being deferred,” a phrase black audiences understood without a citation as black poet Langston Hughes’.”

    Fucking really? Did Obama even write that speech, or did is artsy young speechwriter do that, cuz that’s something an artsy young writer would do more than a Muslin Preznit.

  39. [re=256881]meg9[/re]: ,i>Really, couldn’t they say that he was speaking some frightening “english major” language here by referring to *gasp* a poem!!

    How dare you imply that American “Journalists” should have some sort of background in this thing you call “English”! What are you? Some sort of Socialistic Keillor-listening commie pinko?

  40. [re=256958]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Hahaha that is exactly what Limbaugh said to CPAC two nights ago. I am now thoroughly convinced that you are a white conservative. Wait, you live in Florida? HOLY SHIT YOU ARE RUSH LIMBAUGH.

  41. I don’t know anything about the black code meaning of deferral, but I know the white code meaning is “supported war he did not fight in” (see Cheney, Dick).

  42. Not only is this article very informative on this here secret code, it also invents OUT OF WHOLE CLOTH, a new and very useful term for it. To wit:

    “Imagine John Kerry or Hillary Clinton saying, ‘Yes, we can!’ It would have sounded phony — only in what I call a ‘black-cent’ can it sound prophetic and arousing.”

    Also, that totally didn’t end creepily.

  43. Linguists will tell you that a language is just a dialect with an army to back it up. Translation: I don’t think Barry needs to speak “in code”. Bitches.

  44. Dude, Barry, stop spending ALL your time on preparing coded messages for your Muslins, Commies and Blacks! The rest of us need the occasional coded message from you, too!

    Also, how much does it pay to be the token minority in a Conservative institution these days? Does it pay well enough to fill the space of your lost dignity? I need a drink. Is it too early? No, not if I pretend I’m in Europe! Also.

  45. I learned all the code I needed in Detroit in the ’60’s. “Soul Brother” painted across the storefront was enough to keep you in business until the next long hot summer. This code is still valid, right [re=256880]magic titty[/re]?

  46. I can’t believe they didn’t mention the shoulder brushing incident. Especially because it was TOTALLY DISRESPECTFUL TO HILLARY CLINTON, also.

  47. “”South side of Chicago,” which is just a lyric in a very white Jim Croce song, right?” Does this mean Barry’s real name is Leroy Brown, but that sounded too vanilla so he decided to change his name to Barack Hussein Obama in order to run since he’s so BAD?

  48. where is the footage of Barry passing money through the bullet proof glass for ribs at Farmer Brown’s in Cabrini Green. WHERE IS TEH SMOKIN GUN!!! also

  49. [re=256920]Mustang[/re]: “I only know this because I am acquainted with a negro.”

    The RNC has one and now Politico has theirs. Shit. Just when I was on the trail of a middle-aged gay man to be my shopping/movie friend, I have to cancel our date and go find a negro. In rural OK, that’s harder than it sounds.

    Until now, I’d just thought the Prez was an erudite man who was so aware of the 21st century that he knows it isn’t called “the” google, that a preview is called a trailer and could relax into a kind of hip vernacular. All of which I thought, until now, were really cool. I had no idea the sumbitch was talking Black Power code.

  50. [re=256965]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Dude, you’re confusing “What’s Happenin'” with “Good Tines.”
    I’m not convinced you’re black.

  51. OMG!! I just realized that the OK state legislature has been infiltrated by this kind of code! Two years ago, they made the watermelon the state vegetable. (The fruit was already taken. Damn you, delicious strawberry).

    When the numbnutz Repugtards in this state realize what they’ve done, I’m sure they’lll change it to Okra. Or hominy.

  52. I could have warned you. Never trust the coloured man who walks with a swagger. Soon he will be seducing one’s sister and persuading her to walk the street for him.

  53. so white folks have finally woken up and realized they elected a black man? and all it took was hearing him tell some guy to keep the change, somewhere palin and mccain advisors are sobbing over not coming up with this genius ploy earlier.

  54. Madness … Madness
    Madness tight on the heads of the rebels.
    The bitterness erupts like a hot blast. Broke glass.
    Cold blades as sharp as the eyes of hate and the stabbings.
    Ritual of blood and of burning, served by a cruel fighting.
    It’s war amongst the rebels, madness, madness war.

    This is actually what Hopey said in code to blacks in his big speech last week.

    That’s why Pelosi was clapping and smiling so much. She had the translation.

  55. [re=257026]CorkPopper[/re]: Recognizing the shoulder brushing incident would demand that anyone at Politico ever even heard OF, never mind heard, this strange musical phenomenon, or “fad” as the hipsters call it, known as Raphiphopmusic.

    Clearly the White House needs to hand out a Secret Code Unscrambler ring to the press corps which will help decipher Obama’s words into clear “Whitespeak”:

    Deferred – what you ask your accountant to do with your quarterly tax payments.

    South Side of Chicago – that part of Chicago which is not anywhere near where your cousin from Lake Forest lives.

    Swagger – the opposite of whatever that was that Bobby Jindal did before his national address.

    Straight – a quality unknown in the Republican Party.

  56. Dammit Hopey, now our “secret” is out. Couldn’t keep your mouth shut for just 8 years, huh? Oh well, might as well brush up the resume and submit my application to Wasila Community College to teach Introduction to Negro Talk 101. Do they serve barbeque in Alaska?

    Anyway, just where is Barbara Billingsley these days?

  57. [re=256970]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Damn, Rerun died like 8 years ago. First the code confusion, now this…we miss you at meetings, man…

  58. [re=257170]Aquannissiwamissoo[/re]: No, he actually said “Kaffee umgekehrt,” meaning “coffee backwards.” It’s jive for barely passing the paper bag test.

  59. [re=257186]AnAdmirerOfThatOne[/re]: …just where is Barbara Billingsley these days?

    I don’t wanna sound creepy or anything, Beave, but Barbara Billingsley is 93-fucking-years-old! She probably only speaks jive these days when the caretakers at her old folks home feel her up when nobody’s looking.

  60. Point-blank: This article was juvenile, childish, dumb, factually wrong, and a non-story.

    And it’s just the latest non-story “story” in the Politico, which seems to have taken a weird, wayward turn lately of publishing completey moronic, idiotic non-stories that don’t go anywhere, aren’t really based in complete reality, and meander here and there. It’s very weird.

    There’s news out there to report, and a way to report news that doesn’t anger everybody.

  61. Nah.

    He ain’t “Barack from Chicago, (fist pound).”

    He’s “Barry Soetoro from the Punahao School in Honolulu (Class of ’79, go Buff ‘n Blue!), and I’m about as authentically ‘Black’ as my Momma.”

    How much of a complete asshole does any of you have to be in order to take this fucking fake at face value?

    “The American Constitution and Bill of Rights have always been a fraud. From slavery to civil asset forfeiture, they have never restrained any abuse of power on which the American ruling class has been determined. But the country is very large, and there has usually been strong local suspicion of Washington. Given a ruling class interested mainly in dividing up the profits of commercial privilege, and prepared to indulge any right that did not get seriously in the way of this, the American people were left with the appearance, and often the reality, of much freedom.

    “The new presidency is no more about having a black man in charge than New Labour was about having all those Scotch voices in government. It is about a change in the ruling class. This is the election in which those whose minds were captured in the 1960s and 1970s by the neo-Marxists have taken over from their parents. The Clinton presidency was largely a failure because the new ruling class was still too young, and because the old ruling class had not grown too old to cling to power—and because the Clintons were too easy to hate and despise. All is different now. The new ruling class has no political opposition but a group of neo-conservatives who disgraced themselves during the Bush presidency, and who are probably less interested in opposition than in a few compromises on foreign policy. And it has a figurehead that cannot be mocked or even criticised without risk of the most horrid accusations.

    “Mr Obama cannot be more stupid in his actions or more embarrassing in his utterances than Mr Bush has been. But his essential function as President will be to shield the new ruling class of America while it carries through a total transformation of American life. I do not know exactly how America will change. But I can predict that, come 2016, most Americans will no longer recognise their country. It will be less free. It will be less prosperous. It will be less American. What has happened in England, and what is happening in Australia, will now happen in America.”

    — Sean Gabb,

  62. [re=261353]Cicada[/re]: How much of a complete asshole do you have to be to take Sean Gabb seriously?

    Not enough to take your unsupported assertion about him at face value, chickie. You got anything SPECIFIC to give anyone cause NOT to take what he’s said about our Commie Crioulo-in-Chief as valid?


    How surprising.

    “Man schlägt jemanden mit der Faust und nicht mit gespreizten Fingern.”

    — Heinz Guderian

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