• May 25, 2012
SPINSTERS

March 2, 2009

Meghan McCain So Lonely Because GOP Dudes Just Want To Do Her Old Mom

by Ken Layne  

So Ronery.Terminally unemployed beer heiress Meghan McCain continues her very weird too-much-information blogging at Tina Brown’s secret charity project for the rich, The Daily Beast. Today, we learn how she is just not getting laid at all, and she is NOT turned on by Obama supporters (because they hate her fraud dad) but she is also not really charmed by GOP guys, because they’re all homos who will only date Meghan if she’ll dress like her mom — pearls, weird pants-suits, etc. — because all the closeted Republicans need somebody who looks kind of like that to be the “political spouse.”

Meghan blogs, sadly:

I know that no one can really explain sexual attraction and why you are drawn to someone or not — but at this point in time, nothing kills my libido quite like discussing politics …. So where does that leave me, and who exactly am I attracted to? Let’s just say I’m spending a lot of time writing and even more time with my girlfriends.

“Let’s just say” she is now a lesbian?

Okay we are tired of reading this Meghan McCain thing, now, because it is just sad and tragic. Ha, and she blames her dad for all this, too:

So to all the fathers out there: If you want your daughters to be single in her 20s, I can say this — run for president.

We think you probably meant “I can say this: run for president,” but whatever, you are just some lonely rich girl in Phoenix, and The Daily Beast cannot afford copy editors with only $18 million in “startup” money.

Looking for Mr. Far Right [Daily Beast]

{ 87 comments }

Dreadful Gate March 2, 2009 at 2:31 pm

Ken, you keep posting that picture, and I keep thinking, I’d hit it. Hard. What’s her problem?

comradepaulson March 2, 2009 at 2:32 pm

I cry tears for her. Bitter, bitter, tasty tears…

Suds McKenzie March 2, 2009 at 2:32 pm

again, .. Meghan, sit just like that and Google “stimulus package”. And yes, know one can explain sexual attraction.

Red Zeppelin March 2, 2009 at 2:33 pm

So,I guess 40-something lefties have no chance with her? I would definitely NOT make her dress up like her mom, so there’s that.

I think the obv. solution is that she starts selling those pr0n “subscriptions” the wingnuts seem to be so fond of. I’m sure she’d meet some nice guy in a gangbang scene.

Hopey dont play that game March 2, 2009 at 2:34 pm

Just remember, you can’t spell Meghan without “gay”.

Texan Bulldoggette March 2, 2009 at 2:35 pm

Sounds like someone’s jealous they have a ‘Stacy’s Mom’ situation.

Hopey dont play that game March 2, 2009 at 2:35 pm

Ok, so you can.

chascates March 2, 2009 at 2:37 pm

Maybe the Paultards will find her attractive. Or one of the younger PUMAs.

freakishlystrong March 2, 2009 at 2:37 pm

“One extreme fan of my mother’s recently told me I could be “his Cindy.” And then asked me if I ever wore pearls because they probably would look as good on me as they do on my mother.”

So, this pervy Red-Stater wants to give Cindy and Meghan a string of pearls? Kinky!

NoWireHangers March 2, 2009 at 2:37 pm

Jenna Bush got married in her 20s while her dad was a widely hated President, so I don’t know that your argument holds water, Megs. There’s always some of that Red State pay porn.

PsycGirl March 2, 2009 at 2:38 pm

It’s time to cross over to the Dark Side, missy. Look what it did for Mary Matalin

This is my first attempt at a hyperlink code so if it doesn’t work, please don’t make fun of me too much.

loudmouthredhead March 2, 2009 at 2:38 pm

[re=256191]Dreadful Gate[/re]: Despite that picture making it look like she has midget legs. Yup, I’d still hit it too. *sigh*

shanemacgowan March 2, 2009 at 2:38 pm

“I am not only turned off by people who voted for Barack Obama, but I am also turned off by people that voted for my dad . . .”

There is only one solution Meghan, join the Ron Paul rEVOLution!

dennymcden March 2, 2009 at 2:38 pm

When she writes a post on where she got that fascinating bedspread, then I’ll pay attention.

magic titty March 2, 2009 at 2:39 pm

She’s fucking heinous. But crazy old WALNUTS! can’t be happy his daughter is babbling on the internets about how she’s not getting boned at regular intervals.

heroinmule March 2, 2009 at 2:40 pm

Oh snap! I was just thinking, “she means a colon, not a dash!” Turns out she’s more Palin than Mccain.

Spiro Agnew March 2, 2009 at 2:48 pm

There’s a severe lack of Truck Nutz on TDB comments section.

Anonymous Office Zombie March 2, 2009 at 2:49 pm

Life’s tough when you’re a single, blond, bangable twenty-something girl who’s filthy rich and connected.

loudmouthredhead March 2, 2009 at 2:50 pm

[re=256209]PsycGirl[/re]: Nice job! I still have the code inserts not work so well sometimes.

Which one is the real James Carville? The one on the wall?

bitchincamaro March 2, 2009 at 2:50 pm

Maybe guys are turned off by the tramp-stamp on her ass indicating, “PLACE BUD LITE HERE”.

NunnaTheSOBs March 2, 2009 at 2:50 pm

Very simple solution:
date a foreigner,
preferably an Australian,
or a New Zealander
(you don’t want to get
written out of the GOP !!!).
Good Anglo-Saxon blood
without the limey swishyness.

He’ll never be eligible to
run for president (unless
they amend the constitution),
but maybe the two of you could
one day be the Maria and Arnold
of the wingnuts.

Just sayin’.

Dr Tobias Funke March 2, 2009 at 2:51 pm

or maybe its b/c Meggy looks like Miss Piggy?
Plus, feeding that whale must cost big bucks and its a recession after all- not to many sizzler buffets around anymore…
facebook stalking your dates perhaps is one thing, interrogating them about it later is another..
As has been reported here, W’s daughters seemed to do well at smith point…

Colander March 2, 2009 at 2:52 pm

That Daily Beast piece could barely even be called an article, yet homegirl found space for two (2) photos of herself, so bless her heart.

loudmouthredhead March 2, 2009 at 2:52 pm

Ladies, ‘splain this to me…is “girlfriends” code for something battery-operated?

Lorax March 2, 2009 at 2:54 pm

“Once I went out with a guy who said the food I had ordered was a “maverick choice” and proceeded to tell me, “Wow, straight talking must run in the family.” It’s like someone taking Lisa Marie Presley out on a date and singing “Hound Dog” in the middle of dinner.”

Good Lord. Reason #457 why I’m glad not to have to date men. Can you imagine somebody actually saying that? What’s next? Working in a whispered “Drill Baby Drill” into foreplay? Or maybe “Some guys can go all night, but I can go for FIVE AND A HALF YEARS!!” “mmm, how do you feel about Count-ry first?”

Sweet Fancy Moses. I just made myself throw up a little bit with that last one. Carry on.

loudmouthredhead March 2, 2009 at 2:56 pm

I don’t get it, “straight” *cough cough, snort* GOP men want women to dress up like they’re OLDER? There really is no hope of breaching the party divide, is there?

Hehe, that sounded dirty.

V572625694 March 2, 2009 at 2:57 pm

All right, anyone who lacks the guts to click through to the second page of Ms McCain’s bleat will have missed this:

Some are even part of the group “I have more foreign-policy experience than Sarah Palin.” When I see this type of information I immediately start thinking: How liberal is this person? Do they know I am Republican spawn, against everything that this person believed in during the last election? How important is politics to this person? When I find my father’s face staring back at me on a potential date’s Facebook page I am equally put off. I don’t want to see my father’s picture near any picture of a guy I am attracted to, especially if we haven’t even had dinner yet.

Republican “spawn”? She needs to spend more on pr0n, as I don’t think that’s how they reproduce, although I can’t say for sure.

And she has to get a free dinner before she’ll consider a guy — nice!

Servo March 2, 2009 at 2:59 pm

Do they even make double-wide Doc Martens?

Bruno March 2, 2009 at 3:00 pm

To aspiring journalists/bloggers: can someone dig up some of her friends at from Columbia? There must be some tales coming out of Manhattan in those Sex-in-the-city years. (Julie – I recall you go to Columbia??)

TGY March 2, 2009 at 3:00 pm

Her laptop’s too fat for my tastes.

davesnothere March 2, 2009 at 3:01 pm

Look, Meghan – you’re what, 25? I got news for you, nothing kills ANYBODY’S libido like talking politics. That, and the whole exchange-of-names thing.

Serolf Divad March 2, 2009 at 3:03 pm

She could start dating Paultards…that is, if she can get over the fact that from time to time they’ll reach across the table, hold her hand gently and begin to recite poems they wrote to her… in Klingon.

WadISay March 2, 2009 at 3:05 pm

Dads out there, if you want your daughters to be single in their 20s, go bang a boney-assed witch with a face like a sea horse.

jodyleek March 2, 2009 at 3:06 pm

It’s hard out here for a plump.

loudmouthredhead March 2, 2009 at 3:06 pm

[re=256253]davesnothere[/re]: That’s untrue. If a girl starts talking politics and makes wonkette-caliber snark about the GOP, I get all starbursty.

Colander March 2, 2009 at 3:06 pm

[re=256253]davesnothere[/re]: Seriously. Politics & religion = boner-killers

MarSF March 2, 2009 at 3:07 pm

“Girly” advice for Ms. McCain: Stop applying your makeup with a spatula. And lay off the donuts or whatever caused you to go over the line from “shapely” to “porcine”. Also, please stop blogging.

assistant/atlas March 2, 2009 at 3:08 pm

Actually, the reason they want you to act more like Cindy is because they want you STFU and just bend over and take it like a thing-that-your-dad-called-your-mom-which-I-am-too-much-of-a-gentleman-to-repeat. Also! Buttsecks!

But seriously, I can’t think of anything more annoying than a rich, famous white girl complaining about her life.

MarSF March 2, 2009 at 3:08 pm

[re=256257]WadISay[/re]: Ha!

iwillsavethispatient March 2, 2009 at 3:09 pm

Ken, this article screams one thing: just ask her out already. You could be the Romeo and Juliette of political blogging.

Oh, wait, was it Jim who had the crush on her?

american mutt March 2, 2009 at 3:17 pm

What if I said I was a Ron Paul supporter, would she let me hit it then? ‘Cause I’ll do that. I’ll so hit that blimp.

Baseproduct March 2, 2009 at 3:19 pm

Poor Meghan. If only her daddy hadn’t run for president, and then she’d only have to worry about guys after her for her trust fund money.

ManchuCandidate March 2, 2009 at 3:22 pm

Isn’t there a lobbyist who looks like her dad she can bang?

TheMac March 2, 2009 at 3:24 pm

Gahd, she is lame and pathetic. If you didn’t know how old she was, you’d think she was in her late 30′s and looking for a man to work on her last few viable eggs.

DoctorCulturae March 2, 2009 at 3:26 pm

[re=256271]american mutt[/re]: I believe that would then be called the Hindenberg: Oh, the humanity!

sezme March 2, 2009 at 3:32 pm

[re=256215]magic titty[/re]: She’s knows she’s safe telling the whole world about her (lack of) sex life via the internets because her old man doesn’t know how to read the internets.

Gopherit March 2, 2009 at 3:33 pm

I’m sure she’ll get all the action she needs at Sturgis this year.

Hart88 March 2, 2009 at 3:35 pm

Right wing 20-something guys are assholes? Who knew?

loudmouthredhead March 2, 2009 at 3:35 pm

[re=256302]Gopherit[/re]: Wasn’t she on the last Girls Gone Wild that we now know all the jeebus-goblins shelled out their plastic for?

El Pinche March 2, 2009 at 3:36 pm

This is a cry for help. I may be a libtard Obot, but my cock ain’t a libtard Obot. It’s bipartisan and welcomes the “voluptuous” (hooker code for fatty).

Gopherit March 2, 2009 at 3:38 pm

Oh, Meghan and your unintentional hilarity: “One extreme fan of my mother’s recently told me I could be “his Cindy.” And then asked me if I ever wore pearls because they probably would look as good on me as they do on my mother.” When a man asks if he can give you a pearl necklace like the one he saw on your Mom, it’s time to get out the pepper spray.

Gopherit March 2, 2009 at 3:39 pm

[re=256306]loudmouthredhead[/re]: That must be what she meant by “spending time with her girlfriends.”

gjdodger March 2, 2009 at 3:43 pm

When I find my father’s face staring back at me on a potential date’s Facebook page I am equally put off.

She calls those guys “Oedipus Wrecks”.

Bearbloke March 2, 2009 at 3:44 pm

[re=256302]Gopherit[/re]: I just know she’s a Cutter… any bets on how many weeks will pass until she takes the pr0n-gig that “Octomom” turned down? I girls gotta get some attention somehow…

Bearbloke March 2, 2009 at 3:47 pm

and That Meghan Girl. also.

Sussemilch March 2, 2009 at 3:54 pm

Psst, Meghan: Penises are non-partisan.

Zorg March 2, 2009 at 3:58 pm

Ah, this girl can play my Rusty Trombone anytime…

Maus March 2, 2009 at 4:03 pm

Oh Meghan honey, us lib’rul terrorists love your interest in Dita but wish you would shut the hell up as well. Don’t forget that running your trap also keeps *us* away.

kudzu March 2, 2009 at 4:04 pm

Cunt.

southernfried March 2, 2009 at 4:06 pm

But there is HOPE for Meghan that CHANGE will come to her dating life. A Facebook group “I Will Date Meghan McCain and Not Talk Politics” has been created to address this pressing social issue.

AnnieGetYourFun March 2, 2009 at 4:07 pm

Hm, weird. All the conservative guys that I dated asked me to dress up like Ronald Reagan.

chascates March 2, 2009 at 4:09 pm

Her biggest problem is that she probably opens her mouth when she meets a guy. Big mistake.

Guppy06 March 2, 2009 at 4:12 pm

“I know that no one can really explain sexual attraction and why you are drawn to someone or not(.)”

Except your father’s base, who are apparently quite skilled at curing certain types of sexual attractions. If the guys she meets aren’t attractive to her, then maybe she needs to be sequestered in a special Bible camp for a few weeks until she changes her mind.

Dreadful Gate March 2, 2009 at 4:16 pm

[re=256347]chascates[/re]: Not really that big a mistake, with pretty lips like hers? Gobble, gobble!

Yaybuls March 2, 2009 at 4:26 pm

She needs a sister is the problem. Bush twins, Gore daughters, Cheney’s lesbian brood. She’s allllll alone.

AWOcoholic March 2, 2009 at 4:31 pm

I thought Ken was exaggerating. The first comment I read pretty much summed it up: “These just keep getting worse.”

DeLand DeLakes March 2, 2009 at 4:32 pm

Oh sweetie. It’s not your politics, it’s your neck waddle. So yeah, you CAN blame your dad for that one.

southernfried March 2, 2009 at 4:37 pm
masterdebater March 2, 2009 at 4:42 pm

All of the straight, attractive, smart, worthwhile men, just happen to not be republican’s. Who knew? If only she were not a wingnut…but, alas…

SayItWithWookies March 2, 2009 at 4:47 pm

Meghan, I’ve seen your blogette. You don’t have to make a big deal out of not liking guys, even if you can’t come out to your dad. It’s sweet that you and Shannon are so close and that you found the visit to the Ellen show to be such a liberating experience. (Check out the “Californication” post here and be sure to scroll down to the last pic.)

President Beeblebrox March 2, 2009 at 5:00 pm

Let me see. Girl writes a lameoid children’s book about her dad being a ‘Nam hero, yammers about getting a New Hampshire tattoo if Johnny Mac wins the primary there, follows Mac all around the country in her lameo blog (including linkwhoring Joe The Plumber), and yet she has the stones to whine about how people can’t stop talking about the campaing?

Epic fail is epic.

CuntryFirst March 2, 2009 at 5:01 pm

She’s the type of girl I wouldn’t want to have vaginal intercourse with. Buttsecks and blowjobs are cool, though.

Jukesgrrl March 2, 2009 at 5:01 pm

[re=256198]Hopey dont play that game[/re]: “Just remember, you can’t spell Meghan without ‘gay.’”

No, you can’t spell Meghan without “meh.”

CARCUNTZ!(tm)-R-Us March 2, 2009 at 5:56 pm

OK. That is the first time I’ve been to “The Daily Beast” Is the page referenced above horrifically laid out, or is my web browser fucked up?

TJBeck March 2, 2009 at 6:20 pm

There’s gotta be at least one Iraq war vet ready to ditch his crippled wife and marry into power/money.

assistant/atlas March 2, 2009 at 6:32 pm

[re=256347]chascates[/re]: Actually, it’s not the opening of the mouth that’s the problem. It’s the words that come out.

Scandalabra March 2, 2009 at 6:56 pm

Memo to Tina Brown: You may still be the Queen of Buzz, but I fail to fathom why anyone would be interested in the musings of this innocuous twat.

southernfried March 2, 2009 at 7:32 pm

CNN’s “Political Ticker” has picked this up:

My Dad’s Campaign Killed My Love Life,

Geez… what a stupid populace media establishment this country has.

A Fine National Imbalance March 2, 2009 at 7:39 pm

Oh, my sweet Electra…

problemwithcaring March 2, 2009 at 8:08 pm

Poor girl: A rat-nose, evil eyes and a rapid cycle of a nasty STD outbreaks all conspire to keep her single.

Where’s the stimulus for man-faced rich girls with bad nose jobs and cheap hair extentions, NOBAMA??!!!11

mirrorball March 2, 2009 at 9:29 pm

Did she even have a love life before the campaign? She’s just using it as an excuse, I’m sure.

Mr Blifil March 2, 2009 at 10:29 pm

[re=256394]President Beeblebrox[/re]: Kudos.

On a related note, “spending time with girlfriends” is a euphamism for hanging around with fat chick losers whose anger at their absentee Dads has forever poisoned their ability to conduct relationships with men. Who are these girlfriends who are similarly dateless and available to hang out and listen to Meghan’s endless victim whine? Step number one must be dropping the company of these hoors.

Meghan obviously has a litmus test: Her ideal man must accept her father’s carefully erected carapace of lies and half-truths as concrete reality, and he must also be able to extemporize on the theme of why Obama is scary and a threat to our nation. And, he’s got to be a take charge lover, fully reciprocal, and should be decently hung. Flag lapel pin is optional as long as he owns a plane or some shit. Oh yeah, and he’s got to be completely committed and faithful, even when he finds out that she enjoys cockteasing the Cuban gardeners.

Meghan, here’s my take, for what it’s worth: Nah. Gah. Hah. Pah.

SPlaTz March 3, 2009 at 12:36 am

Ewwwwwwwww! Puke!!!!!!!!

thefrontpage March 3, 2009 at 7:52 am

Enough of Meghan McCain! She obviously needs to go out and get a real job–and stop writing things on the internet. Her stuff is just immature, juvenile, childish, amateurish, non-newsworthy, non-anything, and just a huge, stinking pile of crap!!

Yes, it’s fun to make fun of–of course!–but beyond that, it’s worthless drivel! And, again, it’s all just amazingly chiidlish for someone in her position. It reads like the crazy meanderings of an 11-year-old, it really does.

Mr. McCain–can’t you do something about this? As in, perhaps tell her to please stop it? And get a real job?

Gallowglass March 3, 2009 at 3:25 pm

Awwww. Now I has a sad for her. What’s our pity-sex policy here at Wonkette? I’d take her out to dinner and a movie first.

Gallowglass March 3, 2009 at 3:41 pm

[re=256585]thefrontpage[/re]: John-John doesn’t know what she’s up to, he doesn’t know how the internets work.

FallenSL March 3, 2009 at 4:20 pm

Enjoy Meghan McCain new hot photos Leave your comments! (or try
http://themapicus.com/meghan-mccain/1.html for photos).

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