• May 25, 2012
HAWT

February 27, 2009

Sexy New Portrait of First Lady Michelle Obama

by Ken Layne  

Michelle makes America ashamed of its flabby-ass upper arms, again.The latest proof that George W. Bush is gone and Barack Obama is president and we didn’t all just imagine this, on drugs, is this new official White House portrait of first lady Michelle Obama. And CNN, our nation’s teevee news channel, has stories like this one: “How to get Michelle Obama’s toned arms.” Please gaze upon this official portrait respectfully, hands up where we can see them, as she is the first lady. [White House]

{ 76 comments }

The Lucky Republican February 27, 2009 at 4:01 pm

too late, Ken.

ManchuCandidate February 27, 2009 at 4:04 pm

I’d tap that.

Jukesgrrl February 27, 2009 at 4:04 pm

Her bottom half ain’t bad either.

CrunchyKnee February 27, 2009 at 4:05 pm

Pickles she aint.

Fox n Fiends February 27, 2009 at 4:05 pm

mmmmm toned

SayItWithWookies February 27, 2009 at 4:05 pm

Thomas Jefferson’s totally looking at her ass.

Dave J. February 27, 2009 at 4:06 pm

“How to get Michelle Obama’s toned arms.”

Um, I’m just going to take a guess…lift weights? WITH YOUR ARMS?

masterdebater February 27, 2009 at 4:07 pm

I refuse to sink to the bottom….until I’ve had some of that top.

NoWireHangers February 27, 2009 at 4:13 pm

She looks beautiful. Ugh, I’ve got SUCH A CRUSH on the whole family. And not in a SICK way you pervs. Well, maybe about Barry. Well, yes about Barry. Maybe about Michelle. Really, I think I just want to be adopted by them. I’m a Portuguese water dog you see.

Sussemilch February 27, 2009 at 4:13 pm

Don’t get her angry, you wouldn’t like her when she’s angry. Last Thursday she tore out the Taft bathtub with her bare hands and threatened to kill Joe Lieberman with it. She had to be subdued by a joint OP between the Secret Service and the National Park Service.

Yes You Can Own A Piece of History February 27, 2009 at 4:13 pm

[re=254962]Dave J.[/re]: Isn’t there some weight loss chocolate I can eat instead?

magic titty February 27, 2009 at 4:14 pm

[re=254962]Dave J.[/re]: Thank you. Jesus h.

2druk2phluq February 27, 2009 at 4:14 pm

Beautiful, genuine, blessed by God… all ways to describe Michelle. I was going to compare her to the previous “lady” who lived in that house, but I felt doing so would be an affront to the wholesome woman who lives there right now. Michelle should never have to share a paragraph with Lizaura Bushenstein.

The White House presence of Lizara, sometimes known as She Lizard, other times known as the Jokeress (because of her hideous death grin), had to be exorcised from the residence. It wasn’t so mucha physical residue she left behind as a spiritual grunge akin to the howling of damned spirits. Nobody knows what Lizara did in a past life that caused her to be permanently attached to the world’s most notorious chimpanzee. It had to be bad though, because living with Bush must be horrific.

Michelle, unlike the gruesome thing that just vacated, causes bright colored little birds to gather and sing when she speaks. Flowers bloom as she walks by. Puffy little clouds in the sky seek to cast a light shade down upon her, lest the bright sun somehow discomfort her. Ms. Obama has arrived.

arewethereyet February 27, 2009 at 4:16 pm

Boiiiiiiiiiiiiggggggggg!!!!! uh…too late.

BillyClubb February 27, 2009 at 4:16 pm

“How to get Michelle Obama’s toned arms.” I’d like that AND the rest of her…

Do you think she minds that she’s a FLILF (First Lady I’d Like to F**k)?

TGY February 27, 2009 at 4:17 pm

Thanks. Thanks, CNN, for making us laugh at the MSM, once again.

CARCUNTZ!(tm)-R-Us February 27, 2009 at 4:21 pm

[re=254953]ManchuCandidate[/re]: I did hit it. Alone. At home. I’m ashamed.

CARCUNTZ!(tm)-R-Us February 27, 2009 at 4:22 pm

I had a hopegasm of a different type.

chascates February 27, 2009 at 4:23 pm

One classy lady. As opposed to the previous glazed-eye Stepford heifer.

Josh Fruhlinger February 27, 2009 at 4:25 pm

[re=254960]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Seriously, I can’t believe that wasn’t on purpose. We all know TJ likes the brown sugar, amiright?

CARCUNTZ!(tm)-R-Us February 27, 2009 at 4:26 pm

She looks like a really, really, really tan Vanna White. I can haz “U”?

Wolfard February 27, 2009 at 4:28 pm

Doesn’t anyone think it’s messed up that she’s in front of the Jefferson portrait? Isn’t that just a little unfortunate?

Also:
http://muckbreaker.blogspot.com/2009/02/right-to-bare-arms.html

Texan Bulldoggette February 27, 2009 at 4:29 pm

That’s a really flattering picture of her around the hips, too, because she does have some junk in her trunk.

S.Luggo February 27, 2009 at 4:30 pm
HopeyDope February 27, 2009 at 4:32 pm

I like that both of her eyes are looking in the same direction.

::pointing and laughing at Laura::

Jean Hotman, Marquis de Villers-St-Paul February 27, 2009 at 4:33 pm

[re=254985]BillyClubb[/re]: No. For example I have had the ILF feeling about several ladies before I even knew there was Michelle Obama.

Doglessliberal February 27, 2009 at 4:36 pm

[re=254962]Dave J.[/re]: YOu, sir, are not Amurrican, because Amurricans know that there is always a pill, drink, or machine that accomplishes these things for us because they say so in the ads on TEEVEE. Simple “work” and “eating right” are Communist propaganda.

Tommy Says Soooo February 27, 2009 at 4:37 pm

Turn around and play the back nine.

Rush February 27, 2009 at 4:38 pm

Whacha your man gotta do with me? I gotta man. I’m not trying to hear that see.

Rush February 27, 2009 at 4:44 pm

[re=255005]Wolfard[/re]:

No. Jefferson only owned 15 slaves. She’s fine.

El Pinche February 27, 2009 at 4:50 pm

goddamn, our first lady is bangin’
no wonder our barry is a confident man, he hits that every night.

pondscum February 27, 2009 at 4:57 pm

Why did they have to make that drape grow out of the back of her head? What shitass photog took this?!?!

Unsilly February 27, 2009 at 5:05 pm

I mean, did we get an upgrade or did we get a motherfucking upgrade?

El Pinche February 27, 2009 at 5:12 pm

PumaBoomer55: “Look at her arms and how toned they are. It’s disgusting. It must be nice to have time to eat right and exercise and care about yourself all the time. Pampers has trained well. That misogynist pig makes me sick. I’m hungry. You gals wanna go to Golden Corral again!”

assistant/atlas February 27, 2009 at 5:13 pm

Can Michelle Obama snap any previous First Lady like a twig? Yes she can!

The Helvetica Scenario February 27, 2009 at 5:26 pm

That Jefferson is SYMBOLIC, yo.

I dunno of what though.

cal February 27, 2009 at 5:27 pm

[re=255062]El Pinche[/re]: I can just picture the tearful, angry binge-eating that picture inspires throughout PUMA-land (including K. Lo).

skyinator February 27, 2009 at 5:35 pm

She’s gotta have toned arms to keep up with all that arm waving, hand-shaking, fist-bumping she’s required to do as First Babe.

MarSF February 27, 2009 at 5:44 pm

[re=255007]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Oh COME ON. That is how she is built- she has an ASS. She would have to starve herself to get rid of her butt. She is totally hot. That is all.

Lionel Hutz Esq. February 27, 2009 at 5:48 pm

Wait, this isn’t the official First Lady Portrait? http://www.hhdb.com/hip-hop-honeys-video-models/kathy_modeling_leopard_panties.jpg

Lionel Hutz Esq. February 27, 2009 at 5:49 pm

Personally, I keep my upper arms toned using a picture of Michelle Obama.

DoctorCulturae February 27, 2009 at 5:51 pm

Jefferson in the background looking on is provocative, but also how about the lilium candidum next to her, Madonna/Mary/Miriam lilies?

It’s an extraordinary shot of an extraordinary subject. Suck it Sarkozy.

danadevin85 February 27, 2009 at 5:57 pm

she looks beautiful

MarSF February 27, 2009 at 6:11 pm

[re=255043]pondscum[/re]: I agree but Michelle looks great so I’ll let it go. However, I still have issues with the “official” portrait of Barry because I have seen so many better shots of him.

hobospacejungle February 27, 2009 at 6:15 pm

[re=255107]MarSF[/re]: I think you & TX Bulldoggette are talking past each other. You are both expressing the same thing: admiration of the First Lady’s hot hot booty. Play nice, y’all.

MarSF February 27, 2009 at 6:21 pm

[re=255169]hobospacejungle[/re]: “Junk in the trunk” is a compliment? Really?

danadevin85 February 27, 2009 at 6:36 pm

yes it’s a compliment
nothing wrong with a nice round azz
an azz you can just squeeze all night long

nosnikreplliw February 27, 2009 at 6:40 pm

didn’t Tom Jefferson like the chocolate-fine ladies?

BruceLee5000 February 27, 2009 at 6:47 pm

[re=255030]Rush[/re]: He owned 15 and pwned at least 2 of them!

BruceLee5000 February 27, 2009 at 6:48 pm

[re=255030]Rush[/re]: CorrECTION: He owned 15 slaves and bwned at least 2 of them!

Jukesgrrl February 27, 2009 at 6:48 pm

Shuster says that’s Madison, not Jefferson. Who cares?

BruceLee5000 February 27, 2009 at 6:49 pm

[re=255052]Unsilly[/re]: BARRY WILL UPGRAAAAYDGE YA! UPA UPA UPA UPGRAYDRA!

frumious_bandersnatch February 27, 2009 at 6:59 pm

She could not be any more goddamn *~Fierce~* if she had a grey sparkly hat on. Also.

Crapola February 27, 2009 at 7:18 pm

No offense, Barry. But, I would totally motorboat that.

S.Luggo February 27, 2009 at 7:32 pm

[re=255063]assistant/atlas[/re]:
Ah, how soon we have forgotten First Lady Florence Harding. (Notice the massive upper arms.)
https://salempress.com/Store/images/editorial/harding.jpg

Florence applies her vice-like grip in a handshake with the junior Republican senator from Nebraska:
http://a.abcnews.com/images/Politics/ht_laddy_boy_070607_ssv.jpg

She chose strength training over that terrorist, Hollywood-liberal Pilates crap.

Mr Blifil February 27, 2009 at 8:12 pm

All this attention to her arm tone is racist.

Scooter February 27, 2009 at 10:15 pm

During that Stevie Wonder/Gershwin Award thaing the other night you could see what appeared to be a giant portrait of Dolly Madison in the background behind Michelle Obama’s lovely face. And I’m thinkin’ to myself, sweet Cheezus, for the first time in my adult life I’m really proud of my country.

Then I remembered that Dick Cheney was just VP for 8 years and the moment passed.

Pat Pending February 27, 2009 at 10:35 pm

This is the only area in which the MSM will NOT compare the new administration to Roosevelt’s. (No offense to Eleanor intended, of course.)

DangerousLiberal February 27, 2009 at 11:27 pm

[re=255206]danadevin85[/re]: [re=255107]MarSF[/re]:

Even white boys gotta shout….

NotthatLC February 27, 2009 at 11:37 pm

[re=255229]Jukesgrrl[/re]: Shuster’s wrong, it’s Jefferson. I believe Mrs. Obama is making a funny by standing in front of his picture. Nice one, Michelle. Ironies abound when you’re a black woman living in the White House. Like just being a black woman living in the White House. Can’t WAIT to read her autobiography in ten years.

danadevin85 February 27, 2009 at 11:41 pm

[re=255419]DangerousLiberal[/re]:

baby got back LOL

otisfatboy February 28, 2009 at 12:02 am

She is hot, natural, what a smile, knows exactly what is going on. Soo out of my league.

thwanger February 28, 2009 at 12:38 am

[re=254960]SayItWithWookies[/re]: have truer words been spoken? he is there, somehow, checkin’ it.

thwanger February 28, 2009 at 12:39 am

this is the first first lady i’ve been in love with since betty ford.

thwanger February 28, 2009 at 12:39 am

also, I WANT TO GO THERE.

El Pinche February 28, 2009 at 2:17 am

[re=255009]S.Luggo[/re]: good god, my eyes just took a shit.

S.Luggo February 28, 2009 at 2:26 am

[re=255443]thwanger[/re]: You weren’t transfixed with Betty when her Gerry was in office.

Admiration for Betty Ford came after her husband left office and after her subsequent admission of her struggles with alcoholism and prescription drug abuse.

No knock against her, but for her being a generation behind Betty, the same admission might have expected of poor Pat Nixon, ever waxed-face in every photo during her husband‘s era of presidential ambitions.

And let’s no forget …, well, never mind. Tough being a First Lady.

I’ve always admired J. Carter. No Misericordia ever, just dedication.

S.Luggo February 28, 2009 at 2:37 am

[re=255459]El Pinche[/re]: The only way which I could have posted that without a feeling of hypocrisy is because Andrea Dworkin and Betty Friedan are with the angels.

GreenHalo February 28, 2009 at 3:33 am

Oh sweet Goat with a Thousand Young, this “First Lady = teh hawt” shit is NEVER going to stop. She’s conventionally attractive, okay? Really. Beauty is on the inside. That school girl who wrote a letter to Obama damn near died of fright when he started telling her story during his speech, and Michelle leaned over and gave her a big hug, like OMFG actual BODY CONTACT in the First Family, and actually got a little smile out of her as several thousand people were staring at her. Okay, that’s ten zillion Lifetime Partner Sweetie Diamonds right there, for real.

BUT. If there’s going to be a popsicle-slurping, white-silk-blouse no-bra nipple-tweaking contest in the White House, we’re talking about Liz Kucinich and Dana Perino, period. Do you understand the difference between “hawt” and “fucking A, this woman highlights every single shortcoming Laura Bush ever displayed, and she makes it look effortless, what a lucky guy Barry is”? Yes? Well ACT LIKE IT please.

Bruno February 28, 2009 at 4:56 am

Michelle has awakened me to benefits of sleeveless clothing. It doesn’t work so well to men though. America must get better advice on hair removal products. What does Michelle use?

getoffmylawn February 28, 2009 at 6:52 am

Best Co-President Ever.

psilage February 28, 2009 at 12:36 pm
TexasCowGirl February 28, 2009 at 6:34 pm

The Caliph Barack Hussein Obama is going to issue a fatwah on all of you for lusting after his wife. I predict much smighting at Wonkette. There will be wailing, nashing of teeth and much woe!

arewethereyet March 1, 2009 at 4:35 pm

ah…..First Babe……i like.

gradgrind March 1, 2009 at 8:33 pm

She could strangle Karl Rove with her bare hands and not break a nail. And he knows it.

www.democratz.org March 1, 2009 at 11:17 pm

In my view Most Democratic First Ladies really look sexy and the last several Republiklan first ladies look rather dowdy.

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