Historic Washington Teabagging Party: There Were Poop Hats

  ron paul revolution or something

Today at High Noon, the disciples of CNBC teevee ranter Rick Santelli held teabagging parties around the country. Apparently they did not pick up on the nonchalance in Santelli’s voice when he said, “we’re going to hold a… like a tea party or something because of this Obama, ha ha, weird.” Well, the biggest of these parties was in Washington, by the White House, and like 20 people took cabs from CPAC to stand around in poop hats and complain about fiat currency for a few minutes while Michelle Malkin filmed them in various pornographic poses. Major thank yous to poop operatives “Jamie” and “Ethan” for sending most of the photos below, as well as to intrepid D.C. blog reporter Dave Weigel, some of whose photos we have stolen.

Silly lady (guy?), you’re supposed to have this funny cliche written on a tee shirt, that’s the WHOLE POINT.

You know, it’s really not what you’re making it out to be.

HA HA HA, real life Freepers !!

Michelle Malkin showed up, and wasn’t she having a good time. She looks terrified! Maybe she saw an Arab?

That is not an acceptable male accessory.

They do know that the “government” money is being given directly to businesses, for stimulation, right?

Well now we’re in our comfort zone.

No one disputes that gold can be exchanged for money, lots of money, guy. Also, Ron Paul lost everything.

Who knew that Batboy was the official mascot of the U.S. Government?

Yeah we bet. Time to go home!

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Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

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162 comments

  1. chascates

    Do they want a return to the gold standard or the return of counting blacks as three-fifths of a citizen?

  2. Vartan84

    Do you think ACORN will give me a taxpayer funded internship to organize and/or report on these funny funny ha-ha time protests throughout the country? I think organizing or even just reporting on this stuff would be more rewarding and satisfying than even that Australian island permanent vacation job. Do remote Australian islands have No Batboy signs?!

  3. BitterPolitico

    I feel like I have to ask this question… and I think this is the only group of people dumb enough that I would actually need to ask it for.

    Do they know what “tea bagging” means?

  4. ellie

    Jesus Lord, does Michelle Malkin always look like that? Didn’t her mother ever tell her that her face was going to freeze if she made horrible faces? It looks like that bit of wisdom was right and it did.

  5. sux2bu

    Cab fare from CPAC to the WH? $20
    A menagerie of hapless twits to ridicule for sadistic fun? PRICELESS!

    Suck it, Freepers and assorted loser types!

  6. Mahousu

    Michelle’s just upset because that other woman’s ribbed sweater top fit better than hers. Also, Michelle, hate to point this out, but you forgot to zip.

  7. Baseproduct

    Well, at least the cut government guy went for batboy and not an illegal with a knife for his illustration.

  8. NoWireHangers

    These idiots have got it all wrong. I’d get frustrated, but this just makes me tired so I’ll see if I have their argument right: The evil big Democratic Government refuses to stimulate business and are instead “tea-bagging” hard-working Americans by making them pay for their lazy welfare mom neighbors house. This all could have been avoided if we’d have listened to Ron Paul and accepted “gold” as currency and/or voted for Sarah Palin who would have distributed sturdy burlap sacks to all straight men in America.

  9. gurukalehuru

    Sorry to go straight OT so early in the game, especially as it seems as if a good time was had by all at the big teabag/poop party, but OMFG, Bobby “the browner brady” Jindal just got caught in a big fat whopper. And thinking he’d get away with it on account of the only other witness being dead. That’s low.
    I think he screwed up big time.

    Did anybody swing their tea bags? That’d’ve been a hoot.

  10. Anonymous Office Zombie

    I’m not sure young freeper-lad and poop lady understand what tea bagging is. Which makes their signs twice as awesome.

    In the words of Michelle Bachman at a Steele conference, “Awwwwwww-yeeaaaahhhh, Boyyyyeeeee!!!! All mah Freepers be reprazentin’ in dah hizz-ouse!”

  11. magic titty

    Jesus. Why do Paultards always look so emaciated? Is it because they don’t accept unrefined gold nuggets at the local Micky Dees??

  12. Monsieur Grumpe

    Someone should feed that skinny Ron Paul kid and I mean food not the usual falsehoods and fantasies that make up the typical RP diet.

    Hey kid, Gain a little weight and get away from those losers and maybe, just maybe someday you’ll get to kiss a girl.

  13. Humble Respectable Flexible

    This may be my proudest moment: I am a Wonkette Poop Operative! I *am* a HERO. A true American Patriot.

    WTF, where’s the picture of Joe the Plumber I sent you?!

    Lazy bastards.

  14. americanscandoanything

    did we find out who the fruit with the sarah tote was?

    also

    Michelle Malkin is no Mao Zedong

  15. Reefpilot

    Didn’t Joe the Plumber do a demonstration of “tea bagging” on Malkin during his presentation? Hence the face. She can’t get the taste outta her filthy little mouth.

  16. SayItWithWookies

    Do any of these people even know what they’re protesting? Are they aware that they’ve been paying for failed mortgages for decades, because that’s what Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac were created for? ‘Cause I get a feeling most of these folks are dolts who would protest government getting involved in their social security if the right person whipped them into a frenzy.

  17. bago

    Ok, the first sign has a grammar fail. “was his lousy payments”? Seriously? This is first grade English when dealing with plurality.

    Secondly, people that can’t even afford to pay kinko’s to make their freeper/paulite signs REALLY don’t get to complain about ppaying for someone else’s mortgage.

    These nutters can’t even afford two on the vine.

  18. Scarab

    American History Text 2109:
    “… and it was from this brave band of Americans that the revolution began. From sea to shining sea the call went out, ‘Remember the Washington Tea Party!’ and the people responded by rising up and overthrowing the government and jailing all liberals.
    Our current century-long Golden Age of prosperity can be traced back to these men and women who braved the coolish weather of a D.C. February afternoon to stand with homemade signs, wear the poop hats, and made us proud to be Americans again.”

  19. hobgoblin of little minds

    That acne-ridden paultard’s outfit is nicely color coordinated all the way down to his shoes. I’ll give him that.

  20. Canmon (the Inadequate)

    I think you’re missing the point of the “batboy” sign. There is a line through it meaning the sign is anti-batboy. Plus, batboy is black so it is racist.

  21. Terry

    Ok, I know I shouldn’t say it, but it’s about killing me. That woman in the red skirt in the last photo certainly knows her way about a buffet.

  22. suchsweetthunder

    Just finished reading Noonington’s weekly Noonizims. Regretfully, I must report shes written a rather sincere, elegant article. And funny.

    Ken and Jim: If you guys have kidnapped teh Peggy I demand her release. Now. N.O.W. Think of the children.

    WHY DOES THE WONKETTE HATE CHILDREN?

  23. Iggy Plop

    Why did no one give ginormous ass lady in the last photo a poop hat? Was that a line no one was willing to cross?

  24. The Helvetica Scenario

    Check out the other signs in pic #2.

    Torment
    America by
    Raping
    Profit

    Also, the woman kinda looks like Jon Stewart.

  25. DangerousLiberal

    Ya know, sorry to shit on the party here, but the carriers of the first two signs do have a point–I have a mortgage I can afford. I am not some fuckwit who let some former bartender-cum-mortgage broker tell me that on my salary I could afford a $750k house because “the market can only go up!!” so that I sell the fucker, cash out a bunch of “equity” and then buy a big house with a real mortgage. I mean, it sucks that Nigerians run 419 scams and all, but how sorry do we feel for any noob who actually thinks that (1) Nigerians want to make us rich and (2) mortgage brokers have any scruples? What kind of King-Hell dumbfuck gets a jumbo mortgage with a huge payment jump at year five, and an adjustable rate, on the basis that “I’m sure to get promoted and make more money in five years,” even as family income has been stagnant since at least 1973. Jeezus H. Christ, how dumb do these people have to be? So, yeah, I am cheezed that some of my soon-to-shrink taxes will be saving these banks’ and some of these peoples’ bacon. Not all of them, I know, just enough of them to really piss me off.

    As for the rest of the signs–buncha mouthbreathers.

  26. hobospacejungle

    If that big fat dufus in the first picture doesn’t pictorially represent perfectly the republican party then I don’t have moobs. And since the medication I’m on can cause an increase in the production of prolactin, I have moobs. Holy christ! He’s pear-shaped, he has poop on his head, a bewildered/retarded look on his face, arms up in celebration of the poop he just made in his pants and dork glasses to boot.

    Palin/Poop Dork 2012!

  27. NoWireHangers

    Hmmmmmmmmm: American flag collared shirt, ankle length red skirt, white tennis shoes and white socks. If that’s not the portrait of a serial killer…

  28. DeLand DeLakes

    [re=254829]NewSpence[/re]: Well, if you’ve already not a hope in hell of getting laid, I can’t think of a better place to be than a Ron Paul rally.

  29. CampbellBrown'

    It looks like all those financially successful freepers are so broke paying off their loser neighbors’ mortagages that they can’t even afford proper signs.

    That cardboard box sign will make a decent grate mattress when the protest is over.

  30. NoWireHangers

    Tea bags and poop. I guess we always knew the GOP had a thing for scat play and ball dipping, but now we have the photographic evidence to finally round them up and protect our children.

  31. NoWireHangers

    [re=254865]SayItWithWookies[/re]: They’d become suicide bombers if the right person whipped them into a frenzy. Wait a minute…

  32. freakishlystrong

    [re=254865]SayItWithWookies[/re]: They’re protesting their own financial well-being of course, these people are Orwell. And hideous also.

  33. twowheeljunkie

    [re=254831]BitterPolitico[/re]: [re=254881]NoWireHangers[/re]:

    I did not know what teabagging meant. (I’m old)
    But I do now. Thanks for the education.

  34. Scarab

    [re=254877]DangerousLiberal[/re]: I hear you, but the banking system wasso deregulated by conservatives (read: Phil Gramm) that banks were able to offer those insane loans. And then when it all went bust, the banks got billions bailouts and their customers got called ‘losers’ for not reading the fine print or being savvy enough to know the loans being aggressively promoted by banks weren’t realistic.

  35. NoWireHangers

    [re=254894]twowheeljunkie[/re]: Aww. Well, I guess for anyone else who needs it, here’s a PSA:

    Via Urban Dictionary: “Tea Bagging”
    The act of lowering one’s balls onto someones face, or into their mouth while they are laying down. Kind of resembles dipping a tea bag into a hot cup of water.

  36. DoctorCulturae

    Just a wild guess here: there are more people taking pictures of ass hats and poopers than there are ass hats and poopers.

  37. medievalist

    [re=254877]DangerousLiberal[/re]: What Scarab said. Also, not all the defaulted mortgages were irresponsible — they could be a result of health care / job crises / lower property values / husband killed in Iraq … you get my point.

    Wait… if they tea bag the Dems, whose balls go into whose mouth?

  38. Texan Bulldoggette

    I demand to see swinging teabags. I was promised swinging teabags. Not one Lipton or Celestial Seasons teabag among that sorry lot!

  39. OffTheRecord

    I am oddly intrigued by the outfit of the man/woman in the second picture. There is a whole lotta windbreaker going on there. I really feel like I need to see the whole ensemble.

  40. Mac W Cheese

    The protest signs at the No On 8 rallies were so original and creative. What’s with these straight conservatives? oh yeah…

  41. mad mom

    A little respect, please. These people are Mericans. There’s nothing they won’t do to take Merica back from the Muslin Horde, even if it means going out in public wearing humiliatingly enormous flag tents (or whatever it is that woman with the vast ass and the triple chin is actually wearing) and carrying Sarah Palin Man Bags. It takes some kind of courage to make really bizarre fashion statements for your country. You need to be saluting these warriors, not mocking them.

  42. Naked Bunny with a Whip

    Don’t Paultards know that gold, like paper, is only money because the elites say it is, and that it has no intrinsic monetary value? I mean, surely they watch Star Trek. A lot.

  43. flyingspaghettimonster

    would it be libelous to mention how fat & stupid looking Mr. Poop-Hat is? and how no one will ever want to have sexytime with him. ever. would that be libel?

  44. AutomaticPilot

    [re=254872]Terry[/re]: Also, what’s with the skirt and sneakers. Looks like this is her first day off of the LDS compound in a looooong time.

  45. SayItWithWookies

    Personally I wouldn’t want to teabag any of those people. If they’ve come from the CPAC conference, then who knows where their faces have been.

  46. Hooray For Anything

    I agree with Mrs. Flag about the call for tar & feathering as there’s a whole lot of people who probably deserve it, like most anyone running a bank. We would probably disagree, however, in that my list of people to tar & feather would include some of the people involved in the rally.

  47. Gnaeus

    All these huge, disgusting people talking about poop and tea bagging… This is the most John Waters inspired moment I have ever seen.

  48. Mustang

    [re=254877]DangerousLiberal[/re]: I want to live in a country where one can trust bankers. Every time my husband and I have been shopping for a house we have a good laugh at the absurdly large mortgage the bank says we can afford, and then we cut the amount in half.

    But, I imagine for people living in markets in which there was nothing available except houses with prices ridiculously inflated by speculators driving things up, they just bit the bullet and bought, hoping for the best.

    I don’t think these people are blameless, but I do think they were preyed upon by greedy assholes. And I think many of those assholes are living very nice lives right now.

  49. masterdebater

    Jesus! Why isn’t there a republican in all of America that looks like they ever got laid? Well, yeah they are shit ugly, but they HAVE to try harder. They should concider a name change to something like, Fucked Up Fat Peoples Party. Ron Paul voters can split off into the Unempolyable wing of the party.

  50. Rush

    The sad part is that these “people” are still holding onto a vision of the USA that belongs in the 1950′s when a) everyone was white, b) there was no such word as “recession” b) Ron Paul was still in diapers and d) my twin sibling Rush was waterboarding little toy solders.

  51. whiskey tango foxtrot

    Teabagging references, poop hats and inflatable pig balloons. Stay classy, CPAC.

    Also Michelle looks kinda puffy there. Maybe she’s got a bun in the oven?

    *flees in fear*

  52. Rush

    And, by the way, where were all of these “less government / less spending” zombies over the past 8 years?

  53. HairyIckey

    [re=254877]DangerousLiberal[/re]: Not trying to cut you down here, but a serious question to consider: Is it more fair or beneficial to anyone if you, responsible homebuyer, watch your property value crater because the idiots around you get foreclosed on?

  54. heroinmule

    For some reason I feel like the woman in sneakers and the red “skirt” is not covered up enough. Indecent!

  55. Whitey Did Katrina

    [re=254976]HairyIckey[/re]: With you on this. Either keep people in their homes, or watch entire neighborhoods die. Trust me, I know. I run a very successful chain of crack houses.

  56. recharged95

    Sure reminds me and looks like that scene for Carl Sagan’s Contact, with all the nut cases following the SETI scientists around.

    Santelli’s been on CNBC like forever, and he always voices his opinion, usually anything that’s against investment, so I can give him a little benefit of the doubt, BUT what he unleashed was questions that the desperate, GOP, had to latch on to and exploit. Oh the agony.

  57. HairyIckey

    [re=254991]Whitey Did Katrina[/re]: Are you looking to open any new franchises in Central MA? I’ve got some very attractive areas about to open up in my neighborhood, it looks like.

  58. amyazz

    [re=254827]Vartan84[/re]: There’s an archive of extremist political views at U-Michigan. Fully staffed.

  59. whiskey tango foxtrot

    [re=254877]DangerousLiberal[/re]: I do feel ya on that, I bought a big house in a seriously non-hot neighborhood (west Baltimore) while the market in general was very high. My house was a HUD repo in pretty bad shape but I got it for only $80k. Sold it a couple years later for almost double around the time the market was peaking out three years ago.

    I had my (fairly reputable) broker try to sell me on all kinds of expensive places out of my price range, but I persistently informed her I was only looking in the < $100k market and eventually she got the idea (though I had to do the legwork of looking myself – her enthusiasm diminished a good deal as she saw her future commission drop).

    And yeah, even back then it infuriated me that people on regular salary jobs would kid themselves into thinking they could ever afford a six-figure home. It still infuriates me now. I want those idiots in their cushy suburban mcmansions to get kicked the hell out, to move back to the city and inner-rim burbs and start using public transportation, for god’s sake. To stop being so scared of people browner than they are.

    [re=254951]Mustang[/re]: Good point about “nothing available but the inflated home prices”, but you never HAVE to buy a house at all. While purchase prices skyrocketed in “hot” areas, rents stayed pretty stable by and large.

    I’m conflicted about the whole thing. I am pissed pissed pissed that idiots with a sense of entitlement are going to continue to move out to outer county ex-urbs into ridiculous castles made of construction adhesive and tyvek while beautiful homes made to last centuries in the poorest inner cities are left to crumble and burn. On the other hand, I want to trust a democratic president and congress and get the economy “back on track” so to speak. I see the absurdity in using government money to not help actual people who might be in a jam and stand to become homeless, rendering these recently constructed suburban tract houses vacant for no good reason.

    Anyway, back to teabagging jokes.

    Teabag? The only “bags” I see in these pictures are the faggy Palin totes. And the ones under Malkin’s eyes.

  60. Trace

    Speaking of bags on faces, it should be a crime for Malkin to leave the house without one covering hers.

    Did you see her wild-eyed monstrousness when she was doing that “Yes we care” chant at the pig cook-off or whatever it was that Nazi guy attended?

    Her face looks like it was formed in a similar way as the universe and it continues to expand slowly outward in all directions.

  61. assistant/atlas

    [re=254857]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Falsehoods and fantasies are apparently bad for the skin…guess we know why WALNUTS! looks like crap.

    And the Freepers just want everyone to teabag one another. That’s so sweet, that pro-inter-party lovin’.

  62. Nerdalicious

    [re=254825]elburrito[/re]:
    Well at least the CPAC folks are well-fed. VERY well-fed!

    Re: Honestly, these people might not have anywhere to live but they sure are not missing any meals! Government cheese maybe??? They don’t need tea bags they need slim fast. Ha Ha Bat Boy, the Weekly World News. The best publication ever. Downfall just before the Rocky Mountain News and Liz Smith. So sad.

  63. Nerdalicious

    [re=255028]assistant/atlas[/re]:
    “Picture of Dorian Gray”. Shrubry, Darth Cheney, the list goes on & on…

  64. Jukesgrrl

    [re=254862]americanscandoanything[/re]: I think the guy with the Sarah strap on looks like Rove.

    [re=254877]DangerousLiberal[/re]: I’m sure there are some who believed the shit sold them by unscrupulous mortgage brokers and bought a house they couldn’t afford. But the people who caused the housing crisis in my neighborhood were house flippers who were playing musical chairs with more and more expensive real estate and they got stuck with a seat(s) they couldn’t afford when the music stopped. Every one of the many “well, if I can’t afford it, I’ll just sell/rent its” I know are REPUBLICANS. They truly believed Greenspan & Co. controlled the economy and would never let anything bad happen to them. But now that it has, they’ll be happy to take any handout the Feds can come up with — not that they still won’t VOTE Republican …

  65. teebob2000

    [re=254871]Canmon (the Inadequate): Plus, batboy is black so it is racist.[/re]

    He’s NOT black, dammit!! He’s a mixed-descent Chiropteran-American!

  66. whiskey tango foxtrot

    Wait, didn’t the term “teabagging” originate in the film “Pecker”? Wasn’t that film written and directed by noted homosexual John Waters?

    CPAC: BUSTED!

  67. Peanut Inspector

    So, is POOP an acronym or does putting the word on hats just make these people feel kind of naughty? There is so much that I do not understand.

  68. teebob2000

    [re=254928]AutomaticPilot: Looks like this is her first day off of the LDS compound in a looooong time.[/re]

    That’s EF-LDS; the “normal” LDS’ers don’t do compounds.

  69. teebob2000

    [re=254877]DangerousLiberal[/re]: Y’know, then there’s the people like us who bought a house we could have normally afforded under normal circumstances 2 years ago, and then had a catastrophic illness in the family which meant losing half our income for 8 months, followed by having to pay off the medical bills from same (and still doing so); and being self-employed, having to use what funds would have normally gone to pay my quarterly taxes for trivialities like our mortgage and food and whatnot and then having interest and penalties assessed; all during which we had our previous house that was on the market for 19 months starting in early 2007 — just as the housing market crashed, of course — which meant paying on 2 mortgages, until we could finally dump the fucker as a short sale to avoid foreclosure on it.

    So, yeah, shit happens.

  70. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=254887]Hart88[/re]: Michelle’s just disgusted with the crowd for the complete lack of T-shirts with swastikas on them.

  71. AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=254865]SayItWithWookies[/re]: What I find odd, and what you have pointed out eloquently in the past, is that these people are SO upset about the idea of their tax money helping the fiscally irresponsible, but don’t seem to mind that their tax money also goes to sending young (like, teenage) men and women into battle, and then brings them back in (now, photographable) caskets and pays for their funerals. THAT’S no big deal, right? That’s tax dollars well-spent.

  72. duker155

    The skinny Paultard in the red jacket—did Ron Paul eat part of the kid’s face or is that just what Ron Paul Zombies look like during the day?

  73. Scandalabra

    Haha! lady. Let your neighbor’s BIG HOU$E get foreclosed on…and then see what your place is worth the next morning.

  74. billy rubin

    [re=254877]DangerousLiberal[/re]: Of course, even if you were smart enough to buy into a mortgage you could afford, you still got screwed by the housing bubble; with so many questionable loans being made to chase after the same damn houses, prices were artificially inflated (that was kind of the whole point.) The end result: everybody who bought a house in that time period, “responsible” and stupid alike, was stuck paying way more than the should for a lot less house than what would be otherwise reasonable. Now all the smug Mr. Smartypants McResponsible-types get to watch the now-beginning multi-year “market correction” wipe out the equity it took so long to carefully build, all the while recieving monthly statements fromt he bank showing they’ll still be paying for the banking bubble orgy regardless, and for the next 35+ years, to boot.

    Those of use prudent enough to sell our homes as the bubble was bursting and re-invest our equity into bottom-shelf shnaps will be lauded as the fiscal geniuses of our generation. Good times!

  75. imissopus

    I hate Michelle Malkin so much. Just the mention of her name can nearly send me into a rage. I see pictures of her and I just want to put her head in a car door and slam it repeatedly on her neck while screaming at her. No one else on the planet does this to me. Not my parents, any ex-girlfriends, any former boss (well maybe one), schoolyard bullies who used to beat me up at recess, not even Rush or Hannity or Coulter. I don’t think there is a more hideous carcass of a carbon-based life form on this planet. It’s luck I live in California because if I lived in D.C. and saw her walking around free on the street I could not be responsible for my actions.

  76. bitchincamaro

    [re=254877]DangerousLiberal[/re]: I’m just waiting for Santelli to say something like, ” at least I’ve started a dialogue on this subject”; to which I say, good for you, now shut the fuck up you racist, classist, greedhead.

  77. SayItWithWookies

    [re=255106]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: I know — I didn’t want to bring it up for fear of typecasting myself, but it seems like there’s plenty of stuff to be more outraged about. It bolsters the theories going around that politics is more faith-based than reason-based. They’ll ignore the piano hanging by a frayed rope over their heads, but Sean Assity waves the socialist boogeyman in their faces and they fly into a rage.
    It’s kind of ironic that the people who believe the least in evolution are most likely to act like our semi-arboreal cousins.

  78. pissedinmytutu

    teabagging: the dipping of testicle into the drink of tipping patron by the bar-top dancer in white, tubesox at my local gay bar.

  79. shelwood

    [re=255142]billy rubin[/re]: Maybe rents stayed stable where you are, but in my area a lot of the older houses and apartments that were rentals got sold and razed, replaced by McMansions and condos available only for purchase. I got bounced out of two rentals this way. I now rent a place that is 1/3 the size of either for 50% more a month.

  80. Low overhang

    [re=254877]DangerousLiberal[/re]: I to have played the game by the rules and have almost paid off the mortgage. The problem now is the value of the asset has fallen drastically and I have to put things on hold. The system is collapsed and to fix it everyone is screwed for a very long time or we try to push start things, that means some get free rides. I would rather have things moving sooner for the better for all.

    I don’t understand the asshats thinking a teabagging is a protest movement only if teeth are used would I protest
    forced by law to buy shitty CitiBank stock also

  81. Gallowglass

    Ugh. I hate this gold-standard bullshit more than I hate anything else about Ron Paul and his followers. Gold is not money. Gold used to be money, in a more primitive age. So were sheep, cattle and virgin daughters, although no one is jazzed about getting back on the “virgin-daughter-standard”. If you have any doubts about gold’s non-monetary status, try paying your bills or buying groceries with raw nuggets and specie. Best of luck with that, Paultards!

  82. Gallowglass

    POOP-hat guy looks like Sloth from “The Goonies”. Just look at him for a moment and see if you don’t think he is in the middle of expressing his enthusiasm for Baby Ruth bars.

  83. flyingspaghettimonster

    who’s that man disguised as a woman infiltrating the scene behind the hideous death beast disguised as a human Michelle Malkin?

  84. Scrawny Kayaker

    Come on, Dangerous Liberal is right! You can admit that and still hate Fraulein Konzentrationlaegern.

    Sure, we should start at the top: Robert Rubin and Co. should sign over all of their bonuses from Citi, et al (or what’s left of them, assuming his investments didn’t do so well last year, either) to the shareholders or the Treasury (same thing, ideally), and the bad banks should all be nationalized, screwing the 401Ks, including mine, while the TARP money capitalizes new banks instead of propping up old ones that rewarded their employees for leveraging the farm to 30:1 on mortgages that obviously could not be repaid.

    But you can’t believe every home “owner” is innocent! No documentation loan (aka liar loan) that doesn’t accurately state your income? Sorry, thank you for playing. If you had to lie, you knew you couldn’t afford it, and why should we bail you out, either? You were renting a place just fine before, right? Why not stay there? No shame in that.

    Got an 80/20 double mortgage, so no money down? You weren’t risking any actual money of your own, just like the Wall Street boys. You’re a speculator like them, so fuck you! Ditto if you took a real down payment back as a HELOC a few months later. You had no “investment,” just stupidly/speculatively higher rent than the guy who can move out without a Real Estate Professional applying their 3% lamprey touch!

    We’ve been paying on this house for years! Sob! But we refinanced at the bubble appraisal 3 years ago, and blew the money on a BMW and a remodeled kitchen! Our neighbors treated their house as a giant ATM, so why shouldn’t we? Boo Hoo Hoo!

    These stories are not the outliers. Elites helped shape the rules to allow the bubble, but hordes of middle class idiots and graspers provided the hot gas. Do we bail them all out? If so, I want you to bail out my losses in stocks, too! I was too dumb to look up the P/E ratios and see that trouble was coming last year! Boo Hoo Hoo!

    I’m about as liberal as they come, but I always feared debt and bought a small house with 25% down, and only refinanced the principal to reduce interest payments. It’s probably mostly dumb luck that I didn’t come to the real estate slaughter after the bubble started, but that doesn’t mean that I deserve to be rooked for the mistakes to prop up the mortgages of those who did not yet walk away.

    There are two possible outcomes: Actual RE prices drop to pre-bubble prices (plus maybe 3% per year from roughly 2002 for normal appreciation (maybe)), or we prop up numerical $ prices and have inflation to make the equivalent real $ price the same as 2002. Take your pick.

    Go read archives of Irvine Housing Blog for a few nights and see if you still feels so full of sympathy for the serial refinancers! I suggest starting here:
    http://www.irvinehousingblog.com/blog/comments/middle-class-heloc-abuse/
    for the HILARIOUS comments section.

  85. BuckfullerMincedher

    Rick Santelli is holding teabagging parties all across America?

    Did no one think to tell Dick that teabagging is when one guy dangles his testicles in another guys face and then drops ‘em into his mouth?

    I don’t even want to know what the POOP hats are all about ………

  86. Bruno

    Do the GOP give their stars like Malkin and JTP handlers? Do the have some big black guy follow them around and push people out of the way?

  87. gil mann

    I want to call Michelle Malkin “Boomer” but a) that would be racist and b) Boomer’s more 3-dimensional and has understandable motivations.

  88. SarahPalins2HeadedLovechild

    [re=255465]Scrawny Kayaker[/re]: Here’s the thing, Scrawny, the housing bubble was what was propping us up for the past 7 years. Consumer spending is 70% of our GDP and most of it was being done on credit, because we don’t make shit here anymore (thank the fucking Flat Earth Free Trade motherfuckers for that) so wages haven’t risen. Every one of you Frugal and Responsible Tongue Cluckers depended on those flagrant spenders for YOUR financial wellbeing, as you can see now. People are “living within their means” these days and the economy is in the toilet, along with your stock portfolio.

    The first thing you are supposed learn in Liberalism 101 is that no one is an island. We are interconnected.

  89. SarahPalins2HeadedLovechild

    [re=255493]EvlUnclBud[/re]: You win teh internetz forevah. And I need a new keyboard now.

  90. grevillea

    Michelle Malkin looks like a noob Manila titty-bar whore being presented with her first-ever POOP-covered cock to blow. No tip for you, girly.

  91. zhubajie

    Santelli and fans are pretty stupid if they think they can throw tens of millions out of their homes without terrible consequences for themselves. Like being lynched by angry homeless former neighbors. It’s not as if the Santellis actually do anything useful themselves. They do not produce the commodities they trade. They certainly don’t pay the “blood tax” in the wars they and their robber baron idols keep starting. They think they are the real Americans, but only because they segregate themselves from the majority.

    One reason I keep on living in China is to avoid the civil war I’ve long suspected was coming.

    Zhu Bajie

  92. zhubajie

    [re=254833]ellie[/re]: Probably somebody reminded her (crudely) that she wasn’t a white person. This is in Chicagoland, after all.

  93. zhubajie

    [re=254887]Hart88[/re]: Someone addressed her as “f*ucking flip” and offered a small amount of money for sex.

  94. Sherry in "

    [re=255515]gil mann[/re]: I KNEW she reminded me of someone! Unfortunately this means she can still procreate…

  95. iolanthe

    Did you check out Alternet’s article showing that, far from being some honest impromptu grassroots populist movement of the poor beleaguered rich folk and the poor folk who worship and adore them and live up their rich asses, the “Tea Party” was a long-planned and carefully scripted PR stunt, planned by some of the richest Right Wingers in the world?

    http://www.alternet.org/workplace/129523/right-wing_%27tea_party%27_movement_was_planned_months_ago_by_gop_billionaires/

    We couldn’t make this shit up …

  96. slinkimalinki

    [re=255766]iolanthe[/re]: hahahahaha – this is what the result of months of planning looks like? i think i understand lots of things now.

  97. SJ Doc

    [re=254823]chascates[/re]: Do they want a return to the gold standard?

    Nah. Just gold. Y’know. Commodity currency that neither bankers nor politicians can counterfeit.

    Little lesson in economics, okay? The ancient invention of money came about to serve three purposes:

    1) Intermediary commodity. A convenient way to facilitate the exchange of goods and services.

    2) Standard of value. A way to compare one thing against another. If “A” sells under most conditions for $2, and “B” sells similarly for $5, then money makes it possible to roughly compare “A” against “B” in relative value. What’s more, as the supplies (or real demand) for “A” and “B” change, money makes it possible to calculate variations in relative value. This makes everything from budgeting your household expenses to operating a billion-buck business easier and more reliable.

    3) Store of value over time. You earn valuta now, while you’re young and healthy, sock it away, and spend it later when you’re not so young and not so able to work hard later.

    Now, y’see, government counterfeiting – all that fiat Federal Reserve Note crap that’s churned out as “monetary policy” – degrades all three functions of money.

    That’s bad for you. Personally.

    This doesn’t yet make sense to you? Jeez.

  98. Victor Von Doom PhD

    Coincidently when I was teabagging Michelle last night she made that same face…

  99. Tommmcatt

    [re=255163]imissopus[/re]:

    Refer to her exclusively as “Ping-Pong”. That’s what I do. I know it’s racist and mysognistic, but hey, it’s MICHELLE MALKIN, right?

  100. psikeyhackr

    So 40 years after the Moon landing we throw computers in the garbage for being only as powerful as the one that went to the Moon but our educators don’t suggest mandatory accounting in the schools. Our economists don’t talk about planned obsolescence or tell us what is lost on the depreciation of automobiles every year but we have teabagging parties after the economy craps out. John Kenneth Galbraith talkied about the planned obsolescence of cars in 1959 in his book The Affluent Society. How old was Obama in 1959.

    There have been 200,000,000+ cars in the US since 1995. At $1,500 in depreciation per car per year that is $300,000,000,000 every year. That is FOUR TRILLION DOLLARS since 1995.

    So whare is the teabagging party about that?

    Maybe we should have been using economists for teabags for decades.

    psik

  101. Yensil

    Where were all the anti-big-government people during the Orwellian 1984 anti-privacy policies of the Bush administration?

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