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SEXY HOLIDAYS

CNN Tells America To Swallow


The last time we noticed CNN’s daytime-teevee anchor lady, Kyra Phillips, she was just cold puttin’ down her sister-in-law or something, on an open mic, and on a toilet. Good times! Now she is telling us about the important sex festival happening tomorrow, “Sword Swallowing Day.” [YouTube/CNN]


2:19 PM on Fri February 27 2009
By Ken Layne
1168 Views

  1. SCHWIIING!

  2. V572625694 says at 2:23 pm, February 27th, 2009

    My girlfriend remains unconvinced as to the artistic merits of swallowing long objects.

  3. Lascauxcaveman says at 2:23 pm, February 27th, 2009

    I’m not going to be the first guy here to say “Hey Baby, swallow this.

    Oops. To late.

  4. ManchuCandidate says at 2:25 pm, February 27th, 2009

    “Among the best known practitioners of the art include: Linda Lovelace, Ginger Lynn, Jenna Jameson, Monica Lewinsky and Bob Allen.”

  5. shortsshortsshorts says at 2:27 pm, February 27th, 2009

    V572625694: If you explain to her that many of the worlds finest structures are phallic, the problem should resolve itself.

    Also, if the anal thing comes up, remind her that diversity is important to any portfolio.

  6. SayItWithWookies says at 2:28 pm, February 27th, 2009

    So it’s all CPAC coverage today, is it?

  7. shanemacgowan says at 2:29 pm, February 27th, 2009

    My particular favorite Kira Phillips moment:

    http://anchorbabes.blogspot.com/2008/06/kyra-phillips-likes-zain-verjees-melons.html

    ManchuCandidate: You forgot Larry Craig and Jeff Gannon.

  8. bitchincamaro says at 2:31 pm, February 27th, 2009

    We celebrate it every February 14 in our household.

  9. Meh, wake me when it’s national “Put the Sword in Its Turd-filled Sheath” month.

  10. HipHopOpotamus says at 2:36 pm, February 27th, 2009

    The guy in the back wants her to swallow his sword. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH SNAP.

  11. HipHopOpotamus says at 2:37 pm, February 27th, 2009

    Also why is she talking about sword-swallowing events being “both individual and group”?

  12. DoctorCulturae says at 2:38 pm, February 27th, 2009

    No news here. Ms. Kyra likes to think she’s a bad girl. Suspect those that flaunt it and promote it ain’t it.

    … And I guess, according to the crawl, Ed McMahon is hospitalized on account of his swallowing?

  13. ihasasad says at 2:40 pm, February 27th, 2009

    Cutlass!! HeheheheheheSNORThehehehehe

  14. Ahhh, BJ jokes on a Friday afternoon. The sky is not falling after all.

  15. twowheeljunkie says at 2:45 pm, February 27th, 2009

    You know she’s not a quitter.
    If she takes it in the shitter.
    She’s a swaller not a spitter.
    She’s a good ole country gal.

  16. norbizness says at 2:46 pm, February 27th, 2009

    How quaint; someone out there is actually taping, encoding, and then putting CNN videos on Youtube. It’s like seeing somebody sell double-cassette boom boxes at the flea market.

  17. bitchincamaro says at 2:53 pm, February 27th, 2009

    twowheeljunkie: Southern Culture On The Skids?

  18. Scandalabra says at 2:54 pm, February 27th, 2009

    Who’s the pulse-pounding thriller twink on the left?

  19. Serolf Divad says at 2:56 pm, February 27th, 2009

    Hey Kyra, I’ve got a sword you can swallow… snicker, snicker… not really, on my wall… I bought it in Toledo Spain when I went there on vacation… it’s a reproduction of the Excalibur sword from that King Arthur movie a while back. Am I a nerd or what?

  20. MisterLoki says at 3:00 pm, February 27th, 2009

    Did anyone notice the digital readout thing at the upper left?
    “Atlanta 4 to 6 inches… Alabama up to 8 inches…”

  21. Mr Blifil says at 3:12 pm, February 27th, 2009

    Why do I get the sense that her “swallowing disorder” consists of an incontrollable urge to spit the contents of her mouth into the nearest sink?

  22. Mr Blifil says at 3:17 pm, February 27th, 2009

    Rush: Felchuary?

  23. Does that mean a Cutlass Supreme is sort of like a burrito supreme?

  24. AWOcoholic says at 4:10 pm, February 27th, 2009

    Since when is swallowing a disorder?

  25. loquaciousmusic says at 4:12 pm, February 27th, 2009

    norbizness: So are you saying that CNN’s coverage is the equivalent of a Bell Biv DeVoe Cassingle?

  26. Jukesgrrl says at 5:09 pm, February 27th, 2009

    Didn’t you just tell me two posts ago it was Teabagging Day?

  27. hobospacejungle says at 5:47 pm, February 27th, 2009

    V572625694: My girlfriend remains unconvinced as to the artistic merits of swallowing long objects.

    I’m going to be charitable toward my fellow Wonketteer & assume you have an enormous cock, yes?

  28. V572625694 says at 6:07 pm, February 27th, 2009

    hobospacejungle: Charitable indeed! And true enough — depending on what you compare it to.

  29. BuckfullerMincedher says at 2:46 am, March 1st, 2009

    as if more proof were needed that CNN hasn’t got a clue and wouldn’t know one if it bit them in the ass ………

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