Wonkette
Our correspondent Garrett Quinn continues to prowl CPAC looking for furries — which is not so difficult, as they’re EVERYWHERE you look at CPAC. But what else is going on at America’s Favorite Comedy Convention?
Again, we will just post Quinn’s email, because it makes us laugh:
I am posting all my pics HERE <---Not a rick roll.
I tried to talk with one of the Youth for Western Civilization kids but he started yelling some crazy shit about too many Mexicans and dey took our jerrrrrbs.
There is a guy here with a booth for mutual funds. I don't think he has noticed that all the cool kids are buying gold and tons of guns.
I had to listen to some old turd crow about how great Ann Coulter was last night, while I'm working on my blog. He's shouting this Ann Coulter column at me and laughing the entire time. Ann Coulter was never funny or remotely attractive. She has the neck of an ostrich.
Campaign for Liberty has a cool dart-throwing game where you Pop the Fed! Don't end the Fed, POP IT!
As a libertarian I find the phrase "Sarah Palin is very libertarian" extremely revolting.
The NRA Has an awesome shooting game. I attached this awkward and creepy photo of a kid with a trenchcoat in front of the NRA booth. That fat useless fuck Michael Moore was right! Take the skinheads bowling, etc.
I've kinda blown of some of CPAC today to hang out with the Reasonoids. I'll be back for Grand Poohbah Dr. Ron Paul's speech at 4 PM. Be there or be a reptilian shapeshifter.
Holy Jeebus.
I took a look through the photobucket photos and I could feel the, uh, enthusiasm and, er, youthful energy there among the many empty seats.
Do any of you remember Legionnaire’s Disease?
What? No reason, just reminiscing.
Who’s a good flat-tax advocate? Is it you? Is it you? Yes, it is!
Is there a Suicide Prevention booth anywhere in that venue. Because they need one stat.
I want me see some Panda/doggy love.
But where is Pedo Bear?
I have a feeling that none of the Furries at CPAC are in the tax bracket that will see an increase with Obama’s plan.
I used t think clowns were the scariest things on the planet, now I know, it’s conservatives, en masse acting clownishly..
No, you have it wrong! They are the reptilian alien shapeshifters! Like Queen E-lizard-beth and those old Skull and Bones alumni. George H.W. Bush once commanded a man to throw himself from a helicopter with his mind!
Oh, and as for the pics, I’d have preferred a Rick Roll…
All they are missing is the John Birchers.
AnnieGetYourFun: Star.
I hope you survive without being mauled by the furries
OMG, someone PLEASE attend Joe The Plumber’s speech/panel/fucktardfest and report back.
*facepaws*
I find the phrase “As a libertarian” revolting as well.
…there was an MMA fight at CPAC!?!?!?!
Oh, and this being CPAC can someone get a photo of the yiffpile in the men’s room? THX…
We’re going to wake up tomorrow and find out this has all been very avant-garde(sp?) performance art….I hope.
I was scared in people in animal suits as a kid. Thanks for justifying my childhood fears, CPAC!
The Gonzaga Basketball Team is now my taxpayer watchdog?
I would LOVE to see some video from the hotel’s bar tonight.
Just imagine what these folks are like with a few drinks in them, John Bolton hitting on the ladies from the Mary Kay convention, John Cornyn doing his hysterical Max Cleland impression, Stephen Baldwin handing out business cards, and Rick Santorum angrily shouting, “for the 100th time, it’s not a coincidence, my name was first!”
They’re not really furries. They just wear the costumes to hide the black-face from the damned snoopy reporter types.
FAILPAC!
Dog, you be da dog, dog.
One of the pictures showed a reference to WhiteHouse.com. I thought that was a porn site?
I went to one of these things in the ’80s with a video crew of old school Paultards. Saw Bush41, Savimbi and Pat Robertson filing out together. Liars, Thugs and Scum.
Scarab: You forgot about all of the anonymous gay sex in the hotel’s mens room.
Thanks for the field notes, Quinn! I’ll name my next abortion Garrett Paul in gratitude. reLOVEution!
What mascot animal will the “Homo Watchdog” be?
Mr Blifil: If by “prevention” you mean “enabling” I agree completely.
Choose Furry. Choose Life. (NSFW, sorry, but these furries are real sickos & we need to shine the light of TRUTH!1 on them.)
Jesus, those descriptions are frightening. I think the only way I could get through a CPAC convention would be with a head full of acid and a bottle of ether, a la Hunter S. Thompson in Las Vegas. At least I’d have the amusement of seeing Ann Coulter turn into a lizard.
needs moar bewbs
And Ron Paul stays flat.
“…gold and tons of guns.” Quinn for the win.
How many people are at this thing? It doesn’t look like there are more than 50 of them in the meeting room. if you had to pay that many summer stock actors to put on tinfoil hats and show up for the cameras, it would be a pretty good purchase of publicity.
If conservatives run a dog-costuming like they ran the country, one would expect asphyxiation from lack of air-holes in about five minutes.
Isn’t it funny how the National Taxpayers Union is interested in not paying taxes? It’s like if I started a National Birdwatchers Union and dedicated it to seeing as few birds as possible.
The Helvetica Scenario: Republican furries also see as few birds as possible.
It gets even better: (not) Joe the (not) Plumber now wants to shoot Congressfolk:
http://thinkprogress.org/2009/02/27/jtp-congressmen-should-be-shot/
It’s been said before, but the ghost of Andy Warhol must be PISSED.
President Beeblebrox: My job blocked that site; the reason they listed: “Tasteless.”
MOAR CPAC!1!!!1! It is so much fun to watch conservatives go full-retard and dive head first into political oblivion. Teabaggers of the world unite.
cal: Congress is in session right now, but I’m sure he will swing by CPAC after taking his favorite pages out for pizza.
You know there is a lot of foot tapping in the bathrooms last night.
AnnieGetYourFun: It was apparently yesterday, and poorly attended, according to Countdown last night. Apparently Conservatives have already turned on their messiah.
When the furries do their annual convention in Las Vegas, does CPAC have a registration table in the lobby?
Schadenfried: Well, “Tasteless” is certainly an accurate description of Encyclopedia Dramatica, although no less than furries are.
regarding the BULLDOG photo:
What is it with Bushies and Bulldogs???
It’s known by many sources that George W. Bush in 1968 [when he was tapped into the Skulls and Bones] was performing homosexual acts with his male sex-mate, fellow cheerleader and Yale roommate Victor(Victoria) Ashe, who went on to become the flamboyant mayor of Knoxville,TN. GW and Vicki were inseparable and Bush often accompanied Ashe on the TN campaign trail, where Ashe made prominent political use of the moniker “BULLDOG.” While mayor, Ashe made several unscheduled visits to the White House and, according to US Secret Service sources, Bush made at least 8 unscheduled and unannounced trips to Knoxville while he has been President.
When the online whispers heated up in 2003-4, Vicki resigned his public office and President Bush appointed him ambassador to Poland, where it would be much more difficult for anybody to ask embarrassing questions.
And then there was Jeff “BULLDOG” Gannon, the high-priced call boy who logged in and out of the White House visitor’s register at least 200 times before being promoted to the WH press pool where Bulldog was credentialed by some obscure “news agency” until his cover was blown.
Hart88: Start with the GOP (Giant Octopus Party) Congressmen.