Wonkette
CPAC, it is the comedy festival of the year! New GOP leader Michael Steele offered a very honest yet very shitty new marketing strategy to America: “Tonight, we tell America: we know the past, we know we did wrong. My bad.” No we can’t! And then America’s Idiot, Michele Bachmann, responded with a very humorous blackface minstrel performance in which she repeatedly yelled, “Michael Steele! You be da man! You be da man.” [TPM DC]
I take back my previous comment that she is a racist because she did not try to sexually assault Obama after the SOTU. Clearly, this is her own idjit way of coming on to MC Steele–SHE WANTS TO HAVE LITTLE BROWN BABIES!!!!
She was hotter with the short hair. Also before i knew what an idiot she was.
Seriously, if you are kinda cute and dumb as a brick, the GOP will hoist you up and make you a spokeperson, see Palin, Sarah.
Seriosuly, fellow liberals, who do we ahve who is as dumb as these fools?
God, all the GOP-ers and the butt hole buddies in KBR, Halliburton and the Carlye Group should be nationalized, gulaged, gitmo’ed and then the money given to the rest of us. amen
Bachmann then poured some St. Ides on the stage in rememberence on her homey Norm Coleman.
I thought we’d decided to throw this wing-nut a gerbil to see if she’d swallow it whole? This was our chance!
Michelle Bachmann is totally on my dick.
My name is Bachman / and I’m here to say / my statments be racist / and I don’t like the gay.
I believe the correct phrasing is *you bees da mayun* - must be a transcript error
Michele, you be da baby farmer!
dumb bitch
Why didn’t she just shove her tongue down Mikey “Not Lexington” Steele’s throat like what she did to W? I think a bit of forbidden love (Repub style) would go along way to improve relations instead of becoming Bachmann Patronizing Overdrive.
“And no, this is not from The Onion.”
Sadly, all news outlets will have to run this explanation when reporting on CPAC.
The suggestion made in some previous post was that the conservatives had become a performance art troupe, and we should be seeing Andy Kaufman in this, seems appropriate. Can we look forward to years of this kind of incredible stuff?
Ole Chimpanzee Lips is back.
Keram2: +1. It’s a rap from Run RNC!
oh no she di’int!
shanemacgowan: I’ve noticed this a few times in msm reporting on the Republicans. It’s the new meme.
Own Our Failure A Little More, Please is not much of a platform, is it now?
I’d like to ‘PAC’ her ‘C’.
It’s understandable, up till now, the only black people she’s seen were on the TeeVee. The Jeffersons were so funny weren’t they Michelle.
I think you need to rework your posting title a bit. It should read “Michele Bachmann
Does SomethingIs Stupid & Offensive”TaxWallStreet: I here-by nominate Rolland Burris, the fine junior senator from the State of Illinois!
Wow — the GOP becomes the party of hip-hop. In much the same way that they became the party of fiscal responsibility, the party of non-nation-building and the party of small government. I can’t wait for the big Saturday night fish fry tomorrow.
qwerty42:
More good stuff from CPAC: Barry is our new Uber Fuhrer.
http://washingtonindependent.com/31751/conservatives-confident-their-day-is-coming
“‘This is probably too strong,” said [CPAC attendee] Doug Haney, the city attorney in Carmel, Ind. and a Republican precinct committeeman, “but Hitler also gave great speeches.’”
[The article has other mind-numbing quotes from the CPAC lotus eaters.]
*************
From Steele “I don’t do ‘cutting-edge.’ That’s what Democrats are doing. We’re going beyond cutting-edge.”
WTF?
Please let there be video. Please let there be video. Please let there be video.
Welcome to the Big Tent Mr Steele.
Dear Republicans,
You are, nor have ever been, nor will you ever be kewl, you look like horses asses when you try.
Fo Shizzle,
freakishlystrong
And then she told him to go back out yonder and bust up a chiffarobe.
This CPAC stuff is the best shit ever. I was just watching, and a Rep was saying that Rahm hasn’t been looking him in the eye lately, but that’s good, because he’s doesn’t want to look the DEVIL in the eye! Hardy har har. Also, there is a clip of Joe the plumber circulating where he wishes that we could just shoot members of congress like the good old days. Yup.
Bachman is the future of the GOP. Just like suburban white kids in Caprice Classics, a blastin’ subwoofer roaring Hip Hop and pretending to be urban.
man the GOP is soooo cool. WORD to ya Mother.
The GOP committed suicide by getting rid of the moderates in its ranks. Now there’s a race to see who can be the most far-right and those who win that race are the most mentally challenged, foot-in-mouth publicity whores.
Death by a thousand nuts.
I guess you guys missed Mitch McConnell making Wutang hand gestures and chanting “Wutang aint nuthin to fuck wit” at the beginning of Steele’s speech.
“urban”…that’s as bad as “electronica”. I believe both words were created by Amazon marketing to categorize music.
chascates: amen to that.
ICE ICE BABY
And now Michelle gives a shout out to all her hommies.
GW
St. Ronald
Big Dick (Nixon)
Little Dick (Cheney)
Mooselini
Bobby the Page
Manatee
Billo the Clown
and Flush Limpbowel
PsycGirl: Beyond cutting edge is nothing more than Bleeding Edge.
Orangeen: Yup lad, the level of wing-nuttery has really been kicked up a notch. Fantastic to behold.
Today, we all be da man.
Fox n Fiends: Queen will demand all your royalties from that comment
Michelle: “Slap me some FIVE, bro!”
Steele: Looks startled and confused.
Michelle: “No, um, I mean jive me some terrorist-jab, you big dood-meister!”
Steele: Puts the palm of his hand onto her face and pushes gently back until she’s gone.
You can’t really blame her. She doesn’t know how to talk to a black. Or a rational human being. She’s Republican, it’s not like she gets a lot of practice.
This is all just prelude to the impending release of her new video series “My Congresswoman’s Fucking Blackzilla.”
Uhhhhhhhh, ok… so, just to review, in addition to being suddenly very concerned about sexism and wanting to hip-hopify their image, the GOP is now down with ebonics.
That sound you just heard is the GOP of the 90’s blowing their collective brains out.
TaxWallStreet: I completely agree. I desperately need a giant plasma teevee for the home theater, and these assholes should supply it for me.
Oh Michelle, you sweet jive talker you . . .
her remarks can be attributed to pre-minstrel tension
Michele Bachmann’s husband makes part of his living “converting” gay’s to straight. What more can I say.
If you are that white and from MN saying “you da man” should be done in a self-mocking kind of way and immediately followed by talking about something you actually know about. Like hotdish made from cream of whatever canned soup.
…everytime I see Michael Steele, I cant help but think of that “Dave Chappelle” skit; with the blind black guy that is a member of the KKK!
freakishlystrong: Our cool president is black, so they get one for themselves. Slumdog Millionaire sweeps award season and they get themselves an Indian.
What is it with these people?
…and as for Michelle Bachman: What I would pay for her car to break down in the middle Comptons or Crenshaw!
Fo shizzle, Shelly!
There’s partial video at http://minnesotaindependent.com/27804/steele-you-da-man-bachmann (you get one “da man”)
Women are only invited to CPAC to guard restroom doors, so it’s easy to see how she got a little carried away, having heard a rumor that Steele is straight.
Bruno: Not really because Queen went ‘Ding ding ding dingy ding-ding.’ FoxnFriend goes, ‘Ding ding ding ding dingy ding-ding.’
2 FUNNY! The sad display of what little is left of the GOP
MORE Bachmann antics at the 5 year old DumpBachmann dot blogspot dot com.
Palin/Bachmann 2012
Because the Raped Must Birth
DustBowlBlues: Simple really, they’re REPUBLICANS…the crazy is strong with them my young padawan..
Keram2! EXCELLENT!
My name is Bachman / and I’m here to say / my statments be racist / and I don’t like the gay.
Remember the time you got totally hammered, and she took you back to her place, and you did really vile and disgusting things all night, and when you woke up there was this awful banging inside your head, and you couldn’t remember her name, and you hated yourself, and you looked at her face, and you hated yourself even more, and your mouth tasted like kitty litter, and you still couldn’t remember her name, and you got dressed as quietly as you could, and you got the fuck out of there.
Now you remember her name.
It’s “Michele Bachmann”.
Aren’t you sorry now?
As someone from MN, I can say that the district she represents is stupid and offensive. The sixth district is basically the Twin Cities’ redneck zone.
CPAC. They all jive talkin’ by day — but when the night falls it’s all about da scat.
From BlackPeopleLoveUs.com
“Johnny calls me ‘da man!’ That puts me at ease. It makes me feel comfortable, because I am Black and that’s how Black folks talk to one another.”
“Johnny is generous enough to remark upon how ‘articulate’ I am! That makes me feel good!”
“Johnny always says: ‘I’m not racist; one of my best friends is Black!’ I think he might mean me!”
TaxWallStreet: Two words: Elisabeth Hasselbeck
Has there ever been a stupider little fluffball in *either* party?
Also said by Bachmann at the conference:
“I just wondered that if our founders thought taxation without representation was bad, what would they think of representation WITH taxation?”
24 carat comedy. I don’t want it to end.
In his best white person impersonation Michael Steele replied, “Shucks, I think you are a super gal, Michelle; a really fantastic person!”
The Helvetica Scenario: No one could be THAT stupid. Well, maybe Michelle
AngryBlakGuy: My car has broken down in both Compton and in Crenshaw (a mere five minutes from my house, BTW.) I am a lily-white middle-class elderly woman, and in both these cases, everybody around was nice as pie … not like the threatening crap I get from Frat Boys every time I venture out to a music club in Santa Monica.
I’m not sure most voters outside of Wonkette and Minnesota even know what Michelle Bachmann looks like, so the Comptonites and Crenshavians would probably help her out.
AngryBlakGuy: Haha…Steele is Clayton Bigsby!
randomsausage: NICE. I like it.
Conservatives are so cute when they try to be ‘ethnic’ and ‘modern’.
Okay, I’m confused. Which people are supposed to be “you people”?
She is sooooo horny for some blue Steele scrote-sack.
Hammer, Vanilla Ice and Young MC getting shout outs from MC Steele.
DustBowlBlues: The are the party of “Me Too”.
TestRat1: You forgot Run-DMC. Mike’s heading out to get a pair of Adidas with puffy laces and a couple of gold ropes.
randomsausage: Indeed, she was having a minstrel breakdown.
AngryBlakGuy: daytime Compton is a whole other world, but if you’re driving while white thru Compton in the late evening, your car doesn’t really break-down, so much, as it faints. Besides, every Republican should know that Compton’s main fire-station is a designated green-zone for photo-ops.
You left out the part after she squawked “You be da man! You be da man!…”
Being phenomenally stupid, the Honorable Ms. Bachmann forgot where she was from, so she ran around the Omni Shoreham screaming:
“I da ho! I da ho!”
Here’s a picture of her with another black man. No, wait, that’s just Mittens after his fourth wife left him in the Magic Tanning bed for two hours too long.
S.Luggo: Looks more like she’s flexin’ her DSL’s there…
She so crazy! No, I mean it, she’s fucking crazy.
Oh, Michele. Please don’t ever get voted out of office. EVER.
Besides Michele’s lunacy, I’m deeply bothered by Steele saying “My bad”. Dude…”my bad” refers to getting the movie time wrong, or a bad frisbee throw. Two wars, a fiscal meltdown and a shredded Constitution just aren’t covered under My Fucking Bad.
Bachman Racist Overdrive.
Where’s Boo-Boo Kitty Fuck when you need her?
iolanthe: until she opened her mouth, that is.
Wait, you guys do know that CPAC is a comedy festival, right? It’s full name is Conservative People Also Comedians.
Somewhere at CPAC, Alan Keyes is weeping over beers with Joe The Bummer Plumber and wishing someone, any passerby really, would call *him* “da man”. He also wishes that people would stop handing him their coats (but he does appreciate the tips).
“Tonight, we tell America: we know the past, we know we did wrong. My bad,” said Steele. “But we go forward in appreciation of the values that brought us to this point.”
There is no way anyone actually said this. This was satire written by Ken Layne.
GOP’s message to the US public regarding universal health care: “Jus’ hang loose, blood. She gonna catch up on da rebound on da medicide.”
Despite all the wing-nuttery, there’s no denying that me likey Conservative Cougars: I bet her snatch has no thatch.
‘memba this?
http://ifuckedanncoulterintheasshard.blogspot.com/
Let’s remember these wingtards paid $250 to see this minstrel show.
So, they’re fine with $700 billion going to criminal financiers.
They’re against $900 billion going to, you know, stop the new Greater Depression.
But they’re fine paying $250 to witness the disintegration by self-parody of their once-proud political party.
Michale Steele apologizes for the clusterfuck of the past eight years by saying “My bad!” and Michelle Bachmann is gettin’ her jive on. Jon Stewart is somewhere in his studio, weeping over the pending loss of his job, reality having finally overtaken parody like the coyote in the roadrunner cartoons and plunged right over that cliff-face.
Also, I think I’ve discovered where Michelle Bachmann is taking her language tutorials from.
Ali G: Is it because I is black?
Andy Rooney: You’re black?
Ali G: For real.
Andy Rooney: Who’s black?
Ali G: Yo, I is.
AngryBlakGuy: I don’t think they have those in Minnesota. Unfortunately.
iolanthe: I, too, once lived within a few minutes of Compton in South-Central! Yes, folks would help her out until she said something stupid and racist … then comes the white lady beatdown. At least, that’s the way it happens in my dreams.
“But we go forward in appreciation of the values that brought us to this point.” — M. Steele
This point?!!? You mean an appreciation for the values that got us into illegal wars, a trampling of The Constitution and a World-wide depression?? And all you have to say for it is “My bad.”??!??
CARCUNTZ!(tm)-R-Us: **screeches and rips out a clump of hair**
Put a gray wig on Bachman and she could be Barbara Billingsly
Chump don’ want no help, chump don’t GET da’ help!
Isn’t “my bad” a couple years ago too? Does this make him look out of touch then for still using unhip phraseology or applaud him for at least saying something heard this decade.
Michelle Blachmann, henceforth.
She gets Michael Steele mixed up with Tiger Woods.
Quick, somebody get a net! They’re all in one place!
Fist-bumps all around for Meesh Baby Got Back Bachmann.
Someone should have informed Michele Bachmann that to be da man, you’ve gotta beat da man.
WOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Mr Blifil: WIN!
oh. my. god.
CorkPopper: Yeah, no shit. Is he volunteering to take sole personal responsibility for everything that has “gone down,” the past eight years? Thass some serious self-loathin’.
I think Michelle Bachman should be forced to pull welfare cheats around DC in a rickshaw, while naked of course.
ManchuCandidate: Because the racist faction of the Giant Octopus Party is still strong,and she is probably part of it, as well as part of the religious fanatic faction. She wishes she could be a robber baron, but probably has not yet gotten enough bribe money to really be a member.
Palin, married to a colored man, can never really be GOP presidentista, for that reason.
Zhu Bajie
Orangeen: I’ll agree with Joe about shooting Congress. Start with the GOP members! Let every member of the Bush admin be trampled by drunken elephants, too.
Clancy_Pants: Hey, leave Barbara Billingsley alone!
Maple Grove, MN does not and will not claim Michele Bachmann.