Wonkette
The free speech martyr Dean Grose, a man condemned for finding watermelons the most naturally hilarious garden item of all, will have to resign his mayoralty. Grose rose to national prominence as just the latest of Southern California idiots to circulate some bit of “ha ha, because he’s black!” piece of trash and then claim they had no idea they were exploiting racial stereotypes. As of Monday, Grose will resign his position and go to work on a watermelon farm in Hell as part of the president’s new spending package. [AP]
I guess they’ll have to find somebody else to oppose the next stimulus package.
This is a fucking crime. A racist being held accountable for his racism! What next? Bankers having to give back their bonuses and forced to lower mortgages on over priced crap housing? This is not the US America I know!
He should be forced to watch the last scene in Bamboozled over and over and over again until he dies of old age.
Say what you want about Snowbilly, but she could get away with this and probably force the resignation of the woman who complained about it. Or burn her books or whathaveyounot.
When bad Photoshop is outlawed, only outlaws will have bad Photoshop.
Maybe he can get a job as a furry at CPAC!
I wonder if Key Anus will run for his abandoned office.
“Grose said he didn’t mean to offend anyone and claimed he was unaware of the racial stereotype linking black people with eating watermelons.”
Well then what was the point of the postcard? Aside from being a bigot, this guy is generally not too bright in the logic department.
The truly “hilarious” thing in all of this are photos of the actual man himself. Especially the roadkill that apparently sits on top of his head….and an empty head it is.
What, is it also now not “p.c.” to walk around the office with a Buckwheat wig, big plastic lips, chewing on a chicken bone, and pretending to be illiterate? What the fuck have happened to our precious freedoms?
Well let me go on record as expressing profound regret that we cannot innocently honor the great American Watermelon (Aquusmelonus Americanus) without it being cause for scandal and reproach. The idea that a man should be forced to resign his position as Mayor of a small town for the ignanimous “thought crime” of imagining the effete European Roses that adorn the Whitehouse replaced with good, honest, petriotic North American Watermelons is a true shame. Next we’ll be told there’s something wrong in honoring our first elected African American president by holding a “black like me” day in our schools and government offices in which all white students and employees paint our faces in shoe polish and speak in colloquial Southeastern American englis “yessuh, how can I be of heeeeyup this fine, fine mawnin?”
Next up from Orange Co: White House w/ Minarets
Of course, the other angle in this is that melons are funny because they are, well, melons.
The mayor is misunderstood. Alamito is Mexican for large green and striped melon.
BTW: Los Alamitos is 3.20% negro, and falling.
I’m offended by his neighbors, the fried chicken farmer and the Fanta Orange soda vendor.
Now he’ll go work for Fox News. but still, nothing brings me great joy in watching a racist fuck go down.
Bruno: All the while winkin’ and neglectin’ to pronounce “G” at the end of words.
Also.
S.Luggo: Actually “alamito” means “little cottonwood.”
Something that I’m a little confused about. Since when does a municipality of 12,000 people get to call itself a ‘city’? We call them villages. This would be more appropriate for Los Altimos since they already have someone to be their idiot.
I’ve been to Los Alamitos. Trust me, this resignation is actually a step up for this guy even if he is a moran.
Los Alamitos, moran.
El Pinche:
I wonder if there’s still time to get him a speaking slot at CPAC?
V572625694: Nerd.
El Pinche: Fox needs to hire this guy ASAP! He should be their next Middle East correspondent.
cal: I hear we need some help on the digital TV conversion as well. Also.
V572625694: In this vein, I understand that “La Quinta” means “next to the Denny’s” in Hispanic.
HopeyDope: the correct spelling is “orifice”
Serolf Divad: Cur non mitto meos tibi Divade?
Law of Unintended Consequences tells us that at this rate we may run out of highly public racists before the mid-term elections, which weakens our position with the large and growing undecided-but-don’t-want-to-be-on-the-same-side-as-them voters bloc.
This could possibly cost us a few congressional seats we might otherwise snap up.
2/27/09
NEVAR 4GET - NEVAR 4GIVE!
2 + 27 + 09 = 38
3 + 8 = 11
BARACK OBAMA = 11 LETTERS
NEW YORK CITY = 11 LETTERS
The first plane crushing against the Twin Towers was Flight 11!
Flight 11 was carrying 92 passengers Adding this number gives us: 9 + 2 = 11!
9/11 = 9 + 1 + 1 = 11
THEREFORE FIRED MAYOR = 0BAMA = ANTICHRIST!!1
Also.
x111e7thst: nerditas nerditatis
x111e7thst:
Ne mihi tu mittas, x11e7thst, tuos.
President Beeblebrox: Can’t argue with that logic; gots numbers and math and stuff.
Will there be a Madame Nooningtonshire Friday Reveiw??? Pleeze, Wonkette? I’ve been a good boy.
She SO PHONED IT IN this week. It’s called “The Black Guy Actually Acts Like a President!” and it has this actual line:
“Anyway, it was in there somewhere that he became the president.”
http://online.wsj.com/article/declarations.html
Dean Grose resigned as the mayor, but he was immediately offered the position of President, Late Night Shots.
Fivetree: Judging from photos of this guy, he doesn’t look at all like the kind of weirdo douchebag who would think this funny. Nor does he look like a kid-diddler. Neither one.
HopeyDope: Key Anus?
Serolf Divad:
Thanks a lot! Now I’ll be singin’ ‘Zippity-Doo-Da’ the rest of the fuckin’ day!
He should have sent gift certificates for Truck Nutz instead.
“Grose said he didn’t mean to offend anyone and claimed he was unaware of the racial stereotype linking black people with eating watermelons.” These asshats always throw in a qualifying line that paints them as stupid beyond belief.
I can’t believe I didn’t notice this before, but: Watermelons don’t grow in rows. They’re fucking vines. Not only is this guy racist, he’s stupid. (What an odd coincidence.)
President Beeblebrox: So, how’s CPAC?
TeddyS:
Only because it worked for RayGun.
Hopey should get one of those old lawn jockeys, paint its face white, and put it out at the end of the White House driveway. The next day, Gibbs could comment on the President’s puzzlement at why anyone would be offended by such a piece of historic Americana and how everyone just needs to lighten up.
It couldn’t have happened to a more deserving, mealy-mouthed, lying-sack-of-shit, dead-cat-wearing ReThuglican assclown….
Hopefully, the ex-mayor will receive his pension in ObamaBucks…
cal: He, Sam the Sham, and Mark Furhman can eat lunch together.
Red Zeppelin: Michelle’s got herself some damned nice melons.
Guppy06: Word
AWOcoholic: If you think this guy had the graphics skillz to actually create the lovely picture above, I think you’re giving him too much credit. Pretty sure he found it on the internets; or rather some other funny racist forwarded it to him. I understand that’s how these folks spend their days; forwarding stuff.
Serolf Divad: WIN- Pluuueehhzz Surrr Maaays I Huvv Anoda?
Look it’s Orange County, people. That stuff the rest of you see on your TV is not the “real O. C.” No, most of southern California is like…well…Texas. Well, without the illiteracy, stupid accents, and cattle, but otherwise…yeah, Texas. The republicans in this state, I assure you, are as racist and gullible as they are in the rest of the country.
masterdebater:
I always assumed that Bakersfield was the influence behind Tijuana’s donkey shows.
He’ll, probably, head the GOP ticket in 2012 with Sarah Palin. They can both weep and wail over the Liberal media “misunderestimating” them. The perfect Bush heirheads.
If all the watermelons are in a row like that isn’t it kind of hard to roll them with your nose? Or will the kiddies be using another appendage of their body?
Also…. If the watermelons are coming up now, does that mean George W planted them? and how did he know our new master would be Obama?? I smell a conspiracy a foot!
I have to admit that I actually didn’t know about the racial connotations of watermelon until I was in college - I grew up in a town with ONE black dude, who was a hero to all honkies because we assumed he was an outstanding athlete (he wasn’t).
That said, WITHOUT knowing about the racial connotation of watermelons, I wouldn’t have found the above picture particularly amusing. Well, even KNOWING the connotations leaves me unamused, but… you all know what I am saying, right? I need a drink, is what I’m saying.
Now I’m really confused. First there was his comment about Easter eggs and now he was unaware that black people have a stereotype about loving watermelons? I think we should pause for a moment and consider if, rather than being a dim-witted racist asshat, the man is simply psychotic.
“Grose said he didn’t mean to offend anyone and claimed he was unaware of the racial stereotype linking black people with eating watermelons.”
Well that settles that quite nicely. Just a harmless oversight, he wasn’t paying attention for the last 120 years or so.
Now he’s got all the free time in the world to travel to DC and apologize to Obama personally, via high powered rifle rounds with the word “sorry” and the “haz a sad” emoticon inscribed personally by hand.
http://muckbreaker.blogspot.com
They came for the watermelon mayors, and I did nothing.
4tehlulz: Yes, sorry. Wearing this fursuit at CPAC has really gotten to my brain. My eyeholes are all fogged up and people keep groping me from behind.
AnnieGetYourFun: You and me both.
Mayorial experience is clearly the most important work (not job) you can do.
Cape Clod: In Southern California, you found your little city post WWII and then wait 40 or so years for them all to bleed together. When my mom was little, there were orange groves and dairy farms (but really only a couple acres of them) separating Los Alamitos from Artesia from Cerritos from La Palma or whatever, and now the only way you can tell you’ve gone over a border is the emblem on the street signs switches from a wave to a magnolia to a palm tree, etc. Amicable suburban balkanization was all I knew till I was 18 and went to Ohio for college; in Southern California, if there is open space around, you’re in the desert.
seachel: In which case say “Hi!” to Ken.