DAILY BRIEFING  8:38 am February 27, 2009

Santa Monica Resident Obsessed With Angelina Jolie, Salt Water

by Sara K. Smith

  • The Pentagon will allow journalists to photograph the caskets of returning war dead, now that the war’s almost over. [Los Angeles Times]
  • Congratulations, America! You’re about to become a 36 percent stakeholder in yet another useless bank. [CNN Money]
  • Barack Obama’s new budget proposal takes the legacy of Ronald Reagan, poops on it, and sets it on fire with a propane torch subsidized by the top 2 percent of earners. [New York Times]
  • You know who likes President Obama’s Iraq troop withdrawal plan? John McCain. This spells Doom for the measure. [Washington Post]
  • Bank of America CEO Ken Lewis was hauled like a crook before New York’s attorney general and forced to discuss how a bunch of Merrill Lynch bankers got $3 billion in bonuses just before the failing company was acquired by B of A. [Bloomberg]
  • A little female octopus in the Santa Monica Pier Aquarium flooded the offices near her exhibit by messing with a tank valve. It was a desperate cry for help from an obviously imbalanced creature with no way to support or care for her eight arms. [Los Angeles Times]
 
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{ 36 comments }

TGY February 27, 2009 at 8:43 am

The legacy of Ronald Reagan is great…for Barry to poop on.

Wake me when we buy Park Place and Boardwalk.

MarieDeGournay February 27, 2009 at 8:48 am

Those octopi are smart creatures. Maybe Barry should have appointed one to Commerce Secretary.

freakishlystrong February 27, 2009 at 8:56 am

Maybe Barry should appoint Triumph the Insult Comic Dog to treasury, just for laffs.

irativ February 27, 2009 at 8:57 am

Oh, hey, look, it’s a progressive taxation scheme.

Take that, Paultards, with your flat tax sillyness!

Bruno February 27, 2009 at 8:58 am

Tip: More movie critics hate snark. “Snark is cultural vandalism”…Roger Ebert

http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/2009/02/hunt_not_the_snark_but_the_sna.html

Bruno February 27, 2009 at 9:02 am

But you can’t withdraw from Iraq with a timetable! Or is it you need a timetable? I forget Dubya/Walnuts position on that.

cal February 27, 2009 at 9:05 am

The Octopus Revolution has begun!

shanemacgowan February 27, 2009 at 9:07 am

Fox News is now reporting that jihadist octupi have infiltrated America’s aquariums.

ManchuCandidate February 27, 2009 at 9:09 am

Barack Obama’s new budget proposal takes the legacy of Ronald Reagan, poops on it, and sets it on fire with a propane torch subsidized by the top 2 percent of earners

Come’on SKS. You make this sound like a bad thing. I’d prefer taking torches and pitchforks to many of them (especially the finanze types), but this works for me.

Clamps February 27, 2009 at 9:12 am

The Democratic Stimulus “Package” Ad is making my pants tight.

ManchuCandidate February 27, 2009 at 9:13 am

US America has bad luck with the number 8.

8th state in the Union, South Carolina
8th prez, Martin Van Buren
8 battleships at Pearl Harbor
8 years of heavy combat in ‘Nam
8 Years of W.
8 welfare bums from krazee Octo-pussy or Octo-mom
Now we have an intelligent Octopus fucking with your plumbing.

WadISay February 27, 2009 at 9:18 am

McCain supporting early troop withdrawal? I guess it’s an improvement from abstinence only.

Mr Blifil February 27, 2009 at 9:21 am

Desperate fucking attention whores. The dead soldiers I mean. Not the octopus. She was delicious.

Bruno February 27, 2009 at 9:25 am

[re=254374]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Amazing. And the Chinese consider 8 a lucky number, indicating prosperity and wealth. It’s a zero-sum game people!!

TGY February 27, 2009 at 9:26 am

[re=254368]cal[/re]: They’re up in arms! And they won’t be made suckers of anymore!

Cape Clod February 27, 2009 at 9:27 am

“Barack Obama’s new budget proposal takes the legacy of Ronald Reagan, poops on it, and sets it on fire with a propane torch subsidized by the top 2 percent of earners.”

This will undoubtably enrage the most fervent supporters of the top 2%: the wide swath of fat, white, under-educated, lower middle class, Fox Television viewers with completely unrealistic expectations of their future income potential.

Naked Bunny with a Whip February 27, 2009 at 9:28 am

With all the banks I own now, you’d think I could afford that solid gold orgasmatron.

Servo February 27, 2009 at 9:42 am

Little wonder why the GOOP is so livid about Obama’s budget proposal. Prosperous lower classes = significant Repuke voter losses. Plus, they can’t effectively sell the “We’ll keep you safe from the towel-heads” plank anymore.

jagorev February 27, 2009 at 9:56 am

No, it wasn’t a “desperate call for help”, it was the first shot fired in the upcoming war on humans. Cephalopods must be destroyed.

TGY February 27, 2009 at 10:00 am

[re=254404]jagorev[/re]: Calamari for all!

HottMcClellan February 27, 2009 at 10:04 am

[re=254380]Cape Clod[/re]: Win.

Mr Blifil February 27, 2009 at 10:04 am

[re=254404]jagorev[/re]: Please, pleeez don’t let the giant squid hear you say that.

McDuff February 27, 2009 at 10:34 am

[re=254389]Servo[/re]: GOOP = Grand Old Octopus Party.

Canadian Rap Star Flavour Flav February 27, 2009 at 10:37 am

Updating my resume, again. I’ll add “Major shareholder in Citigroup” right under “Former Time Person of the Year (You!)”.

PerhapsSo February 27, 2009 at 10:49 am

She never should have had all those arms in the first place if she couldn’t support them.

hobospacejungle February 27, 2009 at 11:03 am

I’ll only be happy when we’re back to 1950s income tax levels — soak the rich to the tune of 97%!!

DoctorCulturae February 27, 2009 at 11:07 am

[re=254427]McDuff[/re]: But isn’t goop also the new lifestyle site for Gwenyth “I-want-to-be-Madonna-when-I-grow-up” Paltrow which is (somehow) threatening the NYT?

goop.com

hobospacejungle February 27, 2009 at 11:09 am

[re=254379]TGY[/re]: Ha! Win. My favorite kind of funny.

Also. I welcome our new cephalopod overlords. With open arms. Please don’t beak me, kind and beneficent cephalopod rulers.

hobospacejungle February 27, 2009 at 11:19 am

[re=254365]Bruno[/re]: “Snark is cultural vandalism”…Roger Ebert

Once again someone sticks their neck out to crack on snark with no idea of what snark really is. Ebert seems to think it’s a device to punish human spontaneity, eccentricity, non-conformity and simple error.

Jesus H. Christ on a popsicle stick. Oh well, at least, unlike Denby, he at least has a sort of working definition, however egregiously flawed. Please post something on Ebert’s column, Wonkette Overlords, so we can show him the true spirit of snark. The really mean kind.

SayItWithWookies February 27, 2009 at 11:21 am

Pooping on Reagan’s legacy is the least of it. Wait’ll the Republicans find the clause, buried deep within some abstruse accounting formulas, renaming National Airport after John Hinckley.

IceCreamEmpress February 27, 2009 at 11:48 am

Once again someone sticks their neck out to crack on snark with no idea of what snark really is

Once again a rich old white straight man who’s made money in Old Media and now doesn’t know what’s next decides to blame everything on snark.

Ebert, at least, has more intellectual honesty than Denby–if Ebert was as much of an ass as the American Sucker, he probably would have said that snark gave him cancer.

Hooray For Anything February 27, 2009 at 12:14 pm

Barack Obama’s new budget proposal takes the legacy of Ronald Reagan, poops on it, and sets it on fire with a propane torch subsidized by the top 2 percent of earners.

And God bless it for it.

finland February 27, 2009 at 12:16 pm

my boyfriend and i wrote poems inspired by the tale of the heroic octopus. ok we just took chunks of the article and rearranged them.

here’s mine: http://eucheuch.wordpress.com/2009/02/27/untitled-3/
here’s his: http://eucheuch.wordpress.com/2009/02/27/flax-suberin/

DemmeFatale February 27, 2009 at 12:19 pm

[re=254365]Bruno[/re]: I’d like to thank Roger Ebert for linking to Nikke Finke’s blog.

masterdebater February 27, 2009 at 12:33 pm

“Congratulations, America! You’re about to become a 36 percent stakeholder in yet another useless bank. ”

Do I at least get a free pen or something?

Bruno February 28, 2009 at 5:46 am

[re=254506]IceCreamEmpress[/re]: True. If you’re going to make an argument about snark, it can be summed up in a single web page, not a book.

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