Santa Monica Resident Obsessed With Angelina Jolie, Salt Water

 
  • The Pentagon will allow journalists to photograph the caskets of returning war dead, now that the war’s almost over. [Los Angeles Times]
  • Congratulations, America! You’re about to become a 36 percent stakeholder in yet another useless bank. [CNN Money]
  • Barack Obama’s new budget proposal takes the legacy of Ronald Reagan, poops on it, and sets it on fire with a propane torch subsidized by the top 2 percent of earners. [New York Times]
  • You know who likes President Obama’s Iraq troop withdrawal plan? John McCain. This spells Doom for the measure. [Washington Post]
  • Bank of America CEO Ken Lewis was hauled like a crook before New York’s attorney general and forced to discuss how a bunch of Merrill Lynch bankers got $3 billion in bonuses just before the failing company was acquired by B of A. [Bloomberg]
  • A little female octopus in the Santa Monica Pier Aquarium flooded the offices near her exhibit by messing with a tank valve. It was a desperate cry for help from an obviously imbalanced creature with no way to support or care for her eight arms. [Los Angeles Times]
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About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

View all articles by Sara K. Smith

Hola wonkerados.

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36 comments

  1. TGY

    The legacy of Ronald Reagan is great…for Barry to poop on.

    Wake me when we buy Park Place and Boardwalk.

  2. irativ

    Oh, hey, look, it’s a progressive taxation scheme.

    Take that, Paultards, with your flat tax sillyness!

  3. Bruno

    But you can’t withdraw from Iraq with a timetable! Or is it you need a timetable? I forget Dubya/Walnuts position on that.

  4. ManchuCandidate

    Barack Obama’s new budget proposal takes the legacy of Ronald Reagan, poops on it, and sets it on fire with a propane torch subsidized by the top 2 percent of earners

    Come’on SKS. You make this sound like a bad thing. I’d prefer taking torches and pitchforks to many of them (especially the finanze types), but this works for me.

  5. ManchuCandidate

    US America has bad luck with the number 8.

    8th state in the Union, South Carolina
    8th prez, Martin Van Buren
    8 battleships at Pearl Harbor
    8 years of heavy combat in ‘Nam
    8 Years of W.
    8 welfare bums from krazee Octo-pussy or Octo-mom
    Now we have an intelligent Octopus fucking with your plumbing.

  6. Bruno

    [re=254374]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Amazing. And the Chinese consider 8 a lucky number, indicating prosperity and wealth. It’s a zero-sum game people!!

  7. Cape Clod

    “Barack Obama’s new budget proposal takes the legacy of Ronald Reagan, poops on it, and sets it on fire with a propane torch subsidized by the top 2 percent of earners.”

    This will undoubtably enrage the most fervent supporters of the top 2%: the wide swath of fat, white, under-educated, lower middle class, Fox Television viewers with completely unrealistic expectations of their future income potential.

  8. Naked Bunny with a Whip

    With all the banks I own now, you’d think I could afford that solid gold orgasmatron.

  9. Servo

    Little wonder why the GOOP is so livid about Obama’s budget proposal. Prosperous lower classes = significant Repuke voter losses. Plus, they can’t effectively sell the “We’ll keep you safe from the towel-heads” plank anymore.

  10. jagorev

    No, it wasn’t a “desperate call for help”, it was the first shot fired in the upcoming war on humans. Cephalopods must be destroyed.

  11. Canadian Rap Star Flavour Flav

    Updating my resume, again. I’ll add “Major shareholder in Citigroup” right under “Former Time Person of the Year (You!)”.

  12. hobospacejungle

    I’ll only be happy when we’re back to 1950s income tax levels — soak the rich to the tune of 97%!!

  13. DoctorCulturae

    [re=254427]McDuff[/re]: But isn’t goop also the new lifestyle site for Gwenyth “I-want-to-be-Madonna-when-I-grow-up” Paltrow which is (somehow) threatening the NYT?

    goop.com

  14. hobospacejungle

    [re=254379]TGY[/re]: Ha! Win. My favorite kind of funny.

    Also. I welcome our new cephalopod overlords. With open arms. Please don’t beak me, kind and beneficent cephalopod rulers.

  15. hobospacejungle

    [re=254365]Bruno[/re]: “Snark is cultural vandalism”…Roger Ebert

    Once again someone sticks their neck out to crack on snark with no idea of what snark really is. Ebert seems to think it’s a device to punish human spontaneity, eccentricity, non-conformity and simple error.

    Jesus H. Christ on a popsicle stick. Oh well, at least, unlike Denby, he at least has a sort of working definition, however egregiously flawed. Please post something on Ebert’s column, Wonkette Overlords, so we can show him the true spirit of snark. The really mean kind.

  16. SayItWithWookies

    Pooping on Reagan’s legacy is the least of it. Wait’ll the Republicans find the clause, buried deep within some abstruse accounting formulas, renaming National Airport after John Hinckley.

  17. IceCreamEmpress

    Once again someone sticks their neck out to crack on snark with no idea of what snark really is

    Once again a rich old white straight man who’s made money in Old Media and now doesn’t know what’s next decides to blame everything on snark.

    Ebert, at least, has more intellectual honesty than Denby–if Ebert was as much of an ass as the American Sucker, he probably would have said that snark gave him cancer.

  18. Hooray For Anything

    Barack Obama’s new budget proposal takes the legacy of Ronald Reagan, poops on it, and sets it on fire with a propane torch subsidized by the top 2 percent of earners.

    And God bless it for it.

  19. masterdebater

    “Congratulations, America! You’re about to become a 36 percent stakeholder in yet another useless bank. ”

    Do I at least get a free pen or something?

  20. Bruno

    [re=254506]IceCreamEmpress[/re]: True. If you’re going to make an argument about snark, it can be summed up in a single web page, not a book.

Comments are closed.