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ZAT YOU BUTTERSTICK?

CPAC Panda Furries Are GOP’s Future

Chinese slave pets serve CPAC overlords.
Our CPAC correspondent from Boston, Garrett Quinn, sends this terrifying photograph of a CPAC sex worker known as “Bailout Panda.” When will the police crush this degenerate animal-orgy event?


5:22 PM on Thu February 26 2009
By Ken Layne
2270 Views

  1. chascates says at 5:24 pm, February 26th, 2009

    More appropriate would be the ‘Sexual Harrassment Panda’ from South Park.

  2. 4tehlulz says at 5:26 pm, February 26th, 2009

    It’s Fuck You Panda! I loved that movie!

  3. Colander says at 5:28 pm, February 26th, 2009

    Pandjobs are sooo expensive, guys. Spend your money elsewhere.

  4. Texan Bulldoggette says at 5:28 pm, February 26th, 2009

    Sorry, but I don’t understand what panda bears have to do with bailouts. Was that the cheapest costume they could find? Why don’t they man up & show their faces if they feel so strongly about it?

  5. hobgoblin of little minds says at 5:30 pm, February 26th, 2009

    Are we stealing the bailout money from pandas?

  6. qwerty42 says at 5:31 pm, February 26th, 2009

    can it be the beloved Butterstick of yore? And now a wingnut?

  7. AngryBlakGuy says at 5:31 pm, February 26th, 2009

    …that Rick Santelli is really an attention whore!

  8. gurukalehuru says at 5:32 pm, February 26th, 2009

    Texan Bulldoggette: The Panda: Eats, roots, shoots and leaves.

  9. ManchuCandidate says at 5:32 pm, February 26th, 2009

    I hate Muskrat Love so I have no guilt mocking it:

    Panda, Panda candlelight
    Doin the town and doin it right
    In the evenin
    Its pretty pleasin

    Panda CPAC, Furry Con
    Do the jitterbug out in Contard land
    And they shimmy
    And Limbaugh’s so blobby

    And they whirled and they twirled and they foot tapped
    Singin and cryin ’bout NoBama
    Falling like home prices from above
    It looks like Panda love

    Nibbling on bacon, chewin on cheese
    CPAC says to CON, honey, would you please be my missus?
    And he say yes
    On his knees

    And now hes rubbin’ his, er, fancy
    Tappin’ his toes
    Muzzle to muzzle, now anything goes
    As they wriggle, and CON starts to giggle

    And they whirled and they twirled and they foot tapped
    Singin and cryin ’bout NoBama
    Falling like home prices from above
    It looks like Panda love

    La da da da da …

  10. Red Zeppelin says at 5:33 pm, February 26th, 2009

    Is that what they’ve got Piyush doing now?

  11. Hooray For Anything says at 5:34 pm, February 26th, 2009

    hobgoblin of little minds: It’s in protest of the proposed TPRP program- Troubled Panda Relief Program

  12. From TalkingPointsMemo report from CPAC:

    I was handed an ice cream sandwich by a woman dressed as a polar bear.

    I hope these two can hook up later, omg, so hawt.

  13. The Republicans are getting smarter:

    Palin: Fail.

    Bobby “Gunga” Jindal: MAJOR Fail.

    Butterstick: Two Thousand and ONE — HERE WE COME!

    Our current Muslim Overlord will be splintered like a stalk of bamboo!

  14. AngryBlakGuy says at 5:34 pm, February 26th, 2009

    hobgoblin of little minds: …pandas are Chinese after all!

  15. More costumes and freaks than Comic Con.

  16. I hear there’s a polar bear as well. Somewhere, a conference organizer is yelling at an intern that he hired the wrong kinds of “bears.”

  17. hobgoblin of little minds: They did have it coming. Also, those fucking koalas.

  18. Numbat Dundee says at 5:38 pm, February 26th, 2009

    This predilection of the American right-wing for the badly done agit-prop/street theatre is a copywright infringement. If hippies only had lawyers…

  19. SayItWithWookies says at 5:38 pm, February 26th, 2009

    Texan Bulldoggette: Conservatives are an endangered species, just like pandas. Also, according to their own thinking, if they become extinct it’s their own fault.

  20. MarieDeGournay says at 5:40 pm, February 26th, 2009

    Is it wrong of me to want to hit it with a bat like a pinata?

  21. Hooray For Anything says at 5:40 pm, February 26th, 2009

    Scarab: Less grip on reality too.

  22. qwerty42 says at 5:42 pm, February 26th, 2009

    Scarab: Looks as though the Star wars/trek convention wasn’t needed after all. Still: no blimp.

  23. Fivetree says at 5:42 pm, February 26th, 2009

    If it were ONLY as difficult for CPACers to breed as it is for pandas. This one apparently benefited from a little animal husbandry.

  24. IceCreamEmpress says at 5:42 pm, February 26th, 2009

    The bailout craziness is so weird.

    $800 billion to give to banks to put under their mattresses/pay bonuses/have retreats at four-star resorts is OH MY GOD THANK YOU FOR SAVING US GEORGE W. BUSH

    $800 billion for New Deal 2: Electric Boogaloo is OH MY GOD HUSSEIN MCMUSLIN IS RUINING THE COUNTRY

    Conservo World am Bizarro World! In Conservo World, us eat shit and flush food down toilet!

  25. hobgoblin of little minds says at 5:45 pm, February 26th, 2009

    I’m surprised they didn’t have some shitbag young republican trustfund baby walking around dressed like this with that sign:

    http://www.razzamatazz.co.uk/Hats/Chinese-Coolie-Hat/p-7-2061

  26. Nerdalicious says at 5:46 pm, February 26th, 2009

    The only thing Panda’s eat are cheap bamboo. Of course they’re not for the bailout. Anyway we have Gitmo. “Brought to you by the letter Bullshit!”

    http://www.tvsquad.com/2008/06/20/the-daily-show-june-19-2008-videos/

  27. Nerdalicious says at 5:49 pm, February 26th, 2009

    Pandas live in China. China owns the US. Also they poison us & our animals with melamine. Wrong mascot Rethugs.

  28. Texan Bulldoggette says at 5:57 pm, February 26th, 2009

    SayItWithWookies: Stupid conservatives–that doesn’t even make sense. If pandas become extinct it’s largely because of loss of habitat due to human encroachment; ergo, not the panda’s fault. (Am I taking this too literally?)

  29. Nerdalicious says at 6:01 pm, February 26th, 2009

    qwerty42:
    can it be the beloved Butterstick of yore? And now a wingnut?

    Re: Today in the news: Some nurse in an ER took a cell phone pic of a patient with a fun toy in a certain oriface. Watch out Butterstick. You can’t run or hide!

  30. Of all the cities in the country they could have this conference in, why Boston? There’s something going on here & its not Right.

  31. The Cold Sea says at 6:13 pm, February 26th, 2009

    Why is there an Ann Coulter ad in the ad column? Take the money and run.

  32. How did the GOP get such a good graphic designer? The sign looks Mac, but I can’t figure out the font.

  33. Nerdalicious says at 6:17 pm, February 26th, 2009

    Bruno:
    Joe Biden the Tech Wiz Kid created it.

  34. Jukesgrrl says at 6:17 pm, February 26th, 2009

    Why do pandas hate America?

    Also, too Colander: and Tra: yer both funny.

  35. SayItWithWookies says at 6:19 pm, February 26th, 2009

    Texan Bulldoggette: The irony is that, like pandas, if conservatives become extinct, they have nobody to blame but themselves.

  36. teebob2000 says at 6:33 pm, February 26th, 2009

    “Panda?? I hardly know ‘uh.”

  37. Perot le fou says at 6:35 pm, February 26th, 2009
  38. teebob2000 says at 6:44 pm, February 26th, 2009

    Dave J.: I was handed an ice cream sandwich by a woman dressed as a polar bear.

    At least THAT makes some sense — it’s a brand of ice cream sandwich.

    WTF is up with a panda??? It’s actually Barry ’cause it’s mixed black-n-white like Barry? But it’s against bailouts, so that doesn’t make sense!

    It represents China?? No, they’re Communists and a bulk of their economy is already nationalized so it gets gov’t monies anyhow.

    Pandas eat bamboo so… ???

    Can SOMEONE please explain the fucking significance of a GODDAMN PANDA to the bailouts???!!!1

    I just hurt myself.

  39. Nerdalicious says at 6:45 pm, February 26th, 2009

    I hope I didn’t offend Joe. I was just kiddin’ around. We luv you Joe! And also I know you are the money overlord, & I don’t want my bailout money nor my family jewels stolen in a Mittens Insurance Fraud Scam.

  40. Mothra Stewart says at 6:47 pm, February 26th, 2009

    What great big dilated pupils you’ve got there, panda - look out for that furry with the syringe on top!

  41. masterdebater says at 7:36 pm, February 26th, 2009

    CPAC? Well, if there is a sixteen year old boy in that costume, he better hope the back is stitched up really well!

  42. Red Zeppelin: he’s a Pilushy.

  43. Barrett808 says at 8:22 pm, February 26th, 2009

    IceCreamEmpress: Yes, and yes.

  44. Barrett808 says at 8:23 pm, February 26th, 2009

    Mothra Stewart: Most awesome avatar ever.

  45. wagonjak says at 8:23 pm, February 26th, 2009

    I had a friend of a friend of a friend who was there this afternoon, and reported seeing man on panda sex going on in a dark back room…and this guy saw Romney sneaking in there with his dog! HONEST!

  46. OffTheRecord says at 10:19 pm, February 26th, 2009

    Yiffpile in the Oval Office?

  47. Dean Booth says at 10:39 pm, February 26th, 2009

    Amanda!

  48. Nerdalicious: Maybe its the BeerGoogles font. It’s fuzzy, furry and strangly compelling in an unclear way.

  49. Since the panda is the most bailed-out species on the planet, it’s kinda ironic. Srsly, guys. Guys, srsly.

  50. Later, CPanda will engage in a little skit for the amusement of the delegates: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YU82RS5elI

  51. Significance of Panda?

    Panda = Pander

  52. Senile Agitation says at 12:54 pm, February 27th, 2009

    Mothra Stewart: Thanks, “Furry with the syringe on top” made me smile all the way to the butcher shop.

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