Congressman Gives *Thorough* Proof That Barack Obama Is George W. Bush

by Jim Newell

Hey c'mon where's your tie, asshole?We just received a lovely e-mail from a poor soul who had to participate in a conference call with Rep. John Shimkus, famous for, what… ah right, trying to sweep Mark Foley’s gay child sex under the gay child sex rug. Let’s let our operative tell the rest: “I sat in on a teleconference with Congressman John Shimkus, who has no speaking skills whatsoever. At any rate, he begins the teleconference with this gem, which I have attatched. Barack Obama is exactly like George Bush because of three things…”

1. He wants to decrease the national defecit

2. He wants to keep radical Muslims out of Afghanistan and…

3. “I can’t remember what the third one was”

Shimkus isn’t exactly a player on Capital Hill (he appears in your archives 3 times) but he says some incredibly dumb things like this…all the time.

In the same teleconference when asked if it was hypocritical to put in five earmarks in the Omnibus Bill and then vote against it because its too spendy he says “Isn’t it a great country?!”

Anyone else thinking…Santelli/Shimkus 2012?

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Dave J. February 26, 2009 at 5:13 pm

Fact: anytime someone says “isn’t it a great country” as a joke, they are 100% a huge douche, and deserve a solid cockpunching.

BillyClubb February 26, 2009 at 5:13 pm

Barack Obama is exactly like George Bush because of three things…

And the punchline is…?

Delicious February 26, 2009 at 5:13 pm


grendel February 26, 2009 at 5:15 pm

Isn’t Shimkus Yiddish for Cockpunch?

Zadig February 26, 2009 at 5:18 pm

I was willing to write off this guy as a delightfully ineffective buffoon, until the “isn’t it a great country” part. Fuck this guy in the ass, in hell, in a pool of boiling urine, forever, by Mark Foley.

HopeyDope February 26, 2009 at 5:18 pm

I was going to say one witty thing here, but I can’t remember what it was.

ManchuCandidate February 26, 2009 at 5:18 pm

Shimkus, the GOP’s answer to Yakov Smirnoff!

In Democrat Party, youth touches you.
In GOP, you touch youth! And go to jail. What a country!

elburrito February 26, 2009 at 5:20 pm

#3 big ears?

BillyClubb February 26, 2009 at 5:20 pm

[re=254023]Dave J.[/re]: [re=254028]grendel[/re]: Two commenters say Shimkus means ‘cockpunch’, and I cannot deny their wisdom.

Hamster February 26, 2009 at 5:21 pm

#3 – He’s Preznit? Got 2 daughters? What!?!?!! …I give up.

SayItWithWookies February 26, 2009 at 5:21 pm

There are exactly three kinds of people in America: Those who can count and those who can’t.

AngryBlakGuy February 26, 2009 at 5:22 pm

…LMAO! Chris Matthews just said Newt Gingrich looks like a WARLOCK!

BillyClubb February 26, 2009 at 5:22 pm

[re=254035]ManchuCandidate[/re]: That is so… Yakov!

In America, everywhere there is a party,
In the Soviet Union, the party is everywhere…

gliberal February 26, 2009 at 5:24 pm

Shimkus spelled backwards is Suk-mihs. (punctuation mine)

Hamster February 26, 2009 at 5:24 pm

[re=254038]Hamster[/re]: I got it! He puts his pants on one leg at a time. No? damn. How bout, “doesn’t know who the hell John Shkimsu is”

gurukalehuru February 26, 2009 at 5:29 pm

They both speak English, although only one of them does it well.
They both are at least half white.
Barry has written two books. George Bush has probably read at least that many. Not necessarily long ones.

Violenza February 26, 2009 at 5:29 pm

[re=254042]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Hahahahaha, Matthews ain’t doing too bad for himself this week.

suchsweetthunder February 26, 2009 at 5:32 pm

[re=254037]BillyClubb[/re]: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

MarieDeGournay February 26, 2009 at 5:33 pm

[re=254042]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Sometimes Tweety is just too much.

MarieDeGournay February 26, 2009 at 5:37 pm

They are both carbon based life forms.
They are both located on the Orion arm of the Milky Way Galaxy.
They are both 75% water.

Whew! Never thought I’d think of three.

coffeeyesplease February 26, 2009 at 5:44 pm

Hey Shimkus, here’s further evidence that Obama and Bush are alike.
They both think you’re a dick!!
Even in W. standards….

teebob2000 February 26, 2009 at 5:57 pm

Santelli/Shimkus… Sounds like a medical condition where you balls are rendered hairless and hang down to your knees.

mrpuma2u February 26, 2009 at 6:00 pm

[re=254035]ManchuCandidate[/re]: WIN!!! I love Yakov Smirnoff references. You rock.

ogradybt February 26, 2009 at 6:01 pm

I have to give it to him. It is a great country.

WadISay February 26, 2009 at 6:11 pm

[re=254071]MarieDeGournay[/re]: He kind of let DeLay run his mouth last night; other than that, yeah.

Jukesgrrl February 26, 2009 at 6:11 pm

According to the Wikipedia, Shimkus is the idiot who, during a speech on the floor of the House, compared “the war in Iraq to a baseball game between ‘my beloved St. Louis Cardinals’ and ‘the much-despised Chicago Cubs.’” So maybe the part he couldn’t remember was something lame about baseball.

Hedley Lamar February 26, 2009 at 6:12 pm

[re=254122]teebob2000[/re]: OMG, I totally have that!

teebob2000 February 26, 2009 at 6:31 pm

[re=254140]Hedley Lamar[/re]: Don’t touch any porous surfaces.

51dimes February 26, 2009 at 6:48 pm

[re=254138]Jukesgrrl[/re]: Obama’s a White Sox fan…they both hate the Cubs.

We just thought this through more than Shimkus.

SweetTea&A February 26, 2009 at 9:04 pm

I’ve heard of Shimkus for three reasons:
1. Something about Mark Foley
2. My asshole ex-roommate used to work for him.
3. I don’t remember the other one.

The Frogurt Is Also Cursed February 26, 2009 at 9:30 pm

phase 3 – profit!

Nedrick February 27, 2009 at 3:50 am

I moved from the IL-19 (John Shimkus) to the IN-4 (Steve Buyer). I went from one next-to-invisible, do-nothing, white Republican male to another…

TGY February 27, 2009 at 5:07 am

Well, they are certainly both people, though that’s a bit of a dubious characterization in George’s case.

remembers when Wonkette was funny February 27, 2009 at 9:44 am

they are the same, just don’t expect a dumb shit like Shimkus to explain it.

1) Both walk around mouthing platitudes they know will make their faithful nod their heads, even tho theither of them really has a clue. In fact, both are mostly blank canvases. Democrats see what they want to in Obama the same way Republicans saw what they wanted to in Bush.
2) Neither ever actually accomplished anything before becoming president
3) Both largely got voted for because their supporters knew the other side would hate it

He is, by all accounts, the Democrats George Bush

cleo February 27, 2009 at 9:53 am

His famous letter quote is “We agree to disagree”. The man is not smart and is tolerated by the Democrats in this state because he is ” a nice guy”. He is no nice guy. How nice can you be when you don’t even march with your constitutents to help get the local steel milss back to work and deprive children of health care? The kids just need to accept their personal responsibility. We need a candidate to run against him who will get the actual live (not moribund lipservice) support of the Illinois Democratic Party. The IL Democrats tolerate him and we suffer! Everybody should call Michael Madigan and Dick Durbin to tell them that we in Congreessional 19 are mad as hell and can’t stomach Mr.Dimkus anymore. He was a rubber stamper for Bush. Now he is a roadblock. We need a cerebral,committed representative.

S.Luggo February 27, 2009 at 10:13 am

[re=254401]cleo[/re]: About the “not smart” part:

John Shimkus (R- Doh!, Illinois) voted against the Stimulus Bill, but then, in explaining his “no” vote, explained to the local press that he vote against the Stimulus Bill because the bill did not have enuf money for Illinois roads and bridges:

“Q[Reporter]: I know you voted against the stimulus package. Why did you vote against that measure?

A [Shimkus]: …. I looked at this bill, the bill that passed the House was $30 billion for roads and bridges and that got cut down to just over $27 billion for roads and bridges and our Illinois capital bill is $42 billion, so this national bill is $12 billion less than what our needs are here in Illinois. That bill calls for us to spend $800 billion dollars, why not do a hundred billion for infrastructure and really take care of long-term needs. There will be a lot of communities that are going to be asking for help and assistance and they will not have a prayer for getting any of this money.” – Feb. 19, 2009

S.Luggo February 27, 2009 at 10:16 am

[re=254401]cleo[/re]: Voted against SChip. Wants another billion for “clean” coal, also.

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