CITIZEN PROTESTS  10:04 am February 26, 2009

Hot Sexy New American Tea Party Meets Tomorrow!

by Sara K. Smith

She invites you to 'swing around your tea bags'Apparently there is a new political party organized around the insane rantings of the Prophet Rick Santelli, a non-bald Chicago floor-trading version of Joe the Plumber. The New American Tea Party may fill in the civic vacuum created by the collapse of the Paultard movement, as it combines a concern with fiscal responsibility, Liberty, and earnestly organizing demonstrations in DC. Are you free tomorrow around noon?

We are meeting at Lafayette Square Park at noon on Friday. This is just north of the White house, and two blocks south of the Farragut North Metro station (very easy to get to from CPAC). If you’re on the orange/blue lines, take the McPherson Square metro stop. [...]

Please bring cameras, especially ones with video, American flags, and tea bags if you can find any to swing around the air. We’ll also have a very special surprise for the event.

We’re expecting a little rain. We’re going to go ahead and do this though, rain or shine. Liberty-minded people need to show that when the cause is worthy, they *will* rally. Let’s overturn the current wisdom that only activists can organize.

This group has gotten some media coaching, so that’s neat! The bit about the tea bags, though — that is just not good television. A tea bag is dinky, brown, and does not “swing around the air” very impressively. Better to tar and feather a tax collector, and then shoot them with a musket.

A few updates. [New American Tea Party]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 88 comments }

ph7 February 26, 2009 at 10:08 am

If the blonde in the blue hat is accepting tea bags tomorrow at noon, count me in!

Dreadful Gate February 26, 2009 at 10:08 am

Can I teabag all of them, at the same time, after leaving a Cleveland Steamer?

turboslut February 26, 2009 at 10:08 am

Holy shit, this movement is indeed arising, Phoenix-like, from the ashes of the Libertarian polity of aught-eight. It’s like Christmas come early! Also Wonkette I commend your admirable restraint in avoiding the easy teabagging joke. At least for now.

Formerly Preferred February 26, 2009 at 10:10 am

“tea bags if you can find any”

Yeah, those are usually pretty difficult to track down.

irativ February 26, 2009 at 10:10 am

You are free around noon tomorrow because you don’t have a job, Paultard.

Serolf Divad February 26, 2009 at 10:10 am
BillyClubb February 26, 2009 at 10:11 am

“Liberty-minded people” Is that the same thing as swingers, or free-love people? Because if it is, I’ll be there…

ManchuCandidate February 26, 2009 at 10:11 am

Having seen Paultards, Hot and Sexy are not words I would use to describe these Jasons/Freddie Kreugers of the political world.

Serolf Divad February 26, 2009 at 10:12 am

[re=253214]turboslut[/re]:

You’re sure to meet all your old comrades from the Ron Paul campaign there, too… and no one else.

Larry McAwful February 26, 2009 at 10:12 am

Finally, a third political party! One that breaks out of the old, entrenched system! One that stands for… um… well, it probably stands for everything I believe, because I’m an independent, too! I think both parties are wrong sometimes!

Huzzah! American politics is changing forever! This is the biggest thing since James Weaver’s sweeping of the Electoral College in 1888!

shodan2020 February 26, 2009 at 10:14 am

I always bring a pair of teabags where ever I go!

Bruno February 26, 2009 at 10:15 am

Any guesses on the Very Special Surprise?

In today’s Hobo Economy, I think a guy chucking free cans of Hobo Beans off a truck would be received well, despite the danger. But knowing how boring politicians are, its probably Santelli.

Mr Blifil February 26, 2009 at 10:17 am

Why not? There are a fair number of Mercantile Exchange traders about to have plenty of time on their hands. Nothing would be more satisfying however than imagining Santelli and Sam the Non-Plumber spending lots of time together on some fucking tour bus, strategizing. “Joe, I mean Sam, I mean Joe, have you considered investing in collectible plates?”

ManchuCandidate February 26, 2009 at 10:17 am

[re=253226]Bruno[/re]:
Two Words. Paul Ron

Come here a minute February 26, 2009 at 10:18 am

Oh please make the “special surprise” the fabulously bald Joe the Policy Analyst. I can’t wait to hear more of his genius maths on how cutting taxes balances the budget.

[re=253214]turboslut[/re]: You must have missed the alt-text.

Bruno February 26, 2009 at 10:18 am

I’m betting the turnout will be slightly higher than those Puma Supreme Court Protesters about the Birth Certificate problem, and a lot lower than the Paultardapalooza

donner_froh February 26, 2009 at 10:18 am

Great media coaching: Pass out talking points, just in case Joe or Jane Protestor gets buttonholed by a reporter
While “buttonhole” has a specific meaning in this context, it also sounds like what Joe Protestor would love have the representatives of the media do to him, either with their manly members or their stout strap-ons.

WagTehGod February 26, 2009 at 10:19 am

I’m always up for a little teabagging.

rocktonsammy February 26, 2009 at 10:21 am

I’m not giving up my tea bags, they are sustaining my diet during these tough times.

I could trade Miss Cutie Tri Cornered Hat there for her fun bags.

binarian February 26, 2009 at 10:22 am

“We are meeting at Lafayette Square Park at noon on Friday”

Great. Shouldn’t these people be…I don’t know…fucking WORKING or something? Is playing hookey from work “financially responsible”?

Dave J. February 26, 2009 at 10:22 am

Let’s overturn the current wisdom that only activists can organize.

OMG, community organizing! SnarkPalinSnarkSnark.

rocktonsammy February 26, 2009 at 10:22 am

HEY, she looks like Foxy Fox pixie Megan Kelly.

Guppy06 February 26, 2009 at 10:24 am

Metro lines? Shouldn’t they vanish in a puff of logic if they set foot on a mode of public transportation?

WadISay February 26, 2009 at 10:24 am

If there is a Star Wars convention in DC tomorrow, somebody please invite them to attend, also.

shanemacgowan February 26, 2009 at 10:28 am

Some guy named Devon Generally is organizing the Philadelphia Tea-Bagging Party. According to his official Senatorial Campaign website, the only paycheck he ever earned that did not come from the Government was from Boston Market.

http://www.campaignsitebuilder.com/templates/displayfiles/tmpl21.asp?Trial=false&SiteID=2427&PageID=45353

turboslut February 26, 2009 at 10:28 am

[re=253229]Come here a minute[/re]: So I did. Foolish of me to think they’d pass up a good teabagging joke.

Also, countdown to the blimp?

Monsieur Grumpe February 26, 2009 at 10:28 am

I’m fairly certain The Swinging Tea Bags was a local lounge act in the 80’s that played mostly in Holiday Inns around Battle Creek MI in the 80’s. I never saw them but I heard they rocked.

MARCdMan February 26, 2009 at 10:30 am

Is this rEVOLution going to be televised? I don’t think the last one was.

Capitol Hillbilly February 26, 2009 at 10:30 am

about time somebody stood up for the downtrodden derivatives traders.

Mr Blifil February 26, 2009 at 10:31 am

It’s actually probably not much fun relying on sexy-costume brochure modelling for your income. Hopefully it will be a step up to bigger things. Like meeting a rich day trader and moving to a gated community with it’s own Fresh Direct truck.

user-of-owls February 26, 2009 at 10:31 am

How did they manage to cram so much stupid into so few lines?

Are they trying to demonstrate that ‘passivists’ can organize too?
Do they realize there never was an ‘old’ American Tea Party or are they worried that ‘Boston’ sounds to elitist and liberal?
And…oh, the hell with it. My head hurts.

Yaybuls February 26, 2009 at 10:32 am

When nobody shows up to this, simply look to Milli Vannilli for the answer:

“Gotta blame it on something
Gotta blame it on something

Blame it on the rain (rain)
Blame it on the stars (stars)
Whatever you do don’t put the blame on you
Blame it on the rain yeah yeah
You can blame it on the rain
Get
Ooh, ooh (ooh)
I can’t, I can’t. I can’t, can’t stand the rain
I can’t, I can’t. I can’t, can’t stand the rain
Yeah, yeah”

user-of-owls February 26, 2009 at 10:36 am

[re=253243]shanemacgowan[/re]: Now if only we can dig up a guy named Edward Specifically to run against him in the primary…

Or print up an announcement along the lines of: Rally Tonight! Generally Speaking!

ok, I’m sorry.

Scarab February 26, 2009 at 10:37 am

Decades from now, our grandchildren’s grandchildren will look back on this historic day and say, “what a bunch of douche bags.”

Dave J. February 26, 2009 at 10:38 am

From their list of tips for their members when the news cameras show up:

Remember, how do you want your cause to be presented by the media? As crazies? Or as Concerned Neighbors?

Hmm, sounds like, um, some people could really mess things up by showing up to their event and acting like nutjobs. Hope that doesn’t happen.

S.Luggo February 26, 2009 at 10:39 am

1. To attend, must one dress like a indian savage or will the usual storm trooper outfit do?

2. “Please bring … and tea bags if you can find any to swing around the air.” No tea bags, but I have these things I stole from the tow hitch of an F-150 in Jacksonville. S’okay to swing?

freakishlystrong February 26, 2009 at 10:39 am

Please, please DC Wonketteers get over there and swing some TRUKNUTZ around, show these assholes what a tea party really is, (and bring cameras!)…

magic titty February 26, 2009 at 10:40 am

My tea bags are green. From “Bigelow”.

Is that still cool?

qwerty42 February 26, 2009 at 10:43 am

[re=253240]WadISay[/re]: If there is a Star Wars convention in DC tomorrow, somebody please invite them to attend, also.
Oh yeah! Klingons, imperial storm troopers and maybe hobbits will only add to the festive day. Hell, add some civil war reenactors too; any RenFaire types?

4tehlulz February 26, 2009 at 10:44 am

A political party with teabagging as a political act? Sign me up!

4tehlulz February 26, 2009 at 10:45 am

[re=253254]Dave J.[/re]: How about they split the difference and come off as concern trolls?

user-of-owls February 26, 2009 at 10:46 am

[re=253253]Scarab[/re]: winny!

Origami February 26, 2009 at 10:46 am

Well they seem to have the financial centers of Fayetteville, North Carolina and Kansas City, KS locked down for “tea party” protests, but NYC is strangely off the list…hm.

Monsieur Grumpe February 26, 2009 at 10:46 am

[re=253240]WadISay[/re]:
There is NO convention in town on those dates. Please don’t ask how I know that.

freakishlystrong February 26, 2009 at 10:47 am

Well, these are wingers, when’s the salad tossing in Lafayette Square?

S.Luggo February 26, 2009 at 10:49 am

[re=253257]freakishlystrong[/re]: Jinx.

WadISay February 26, 2009 at 10:49 am

[re=253259]qwerty42[/re]: Also get them some signs: “Pardon Scooter,” “Quash the Rove Subpoena NOW,” and “Keep Your Kenyan Hands Off My Yacht” would be my suggestions.

shanemacgowan February 26, 2009 at 10:50 am

[re=253252]user-of-owls[/re]: Apparently this Devon Generally has a history of wingnuttery. Google is a wonderful thing.

http://the.honoluluadvertiser.com/article/2003/Feb/16/ln/ln13a.html

Dave J. February 26, 2009 at 10:50 am

This is even better, from their page:

(Media: If you’re planning on covering this event, you must use shoulder mounted cameras. The National Park Service warns us that no tripods will be allowed.)

LOLZ. Great idea, guys, invite the media to come but then prohibit them from using tripods to give their reporters a convenient shot.

S.Luggo February 26, 2009 at 10:51 am

Will Piyush “Kenneth the page” be speaking?

Peanut Inspector February 26, 2009 at 10:51 am

Will there be a blimp?

The Neoskeptic February 26, 2009 at 10:52 am

the twits are twittering their #teaparty http://search.twitter.com/search?q=%23teaparty

Another DC Lawyer (Again) February 26, 2009 at 10:54 am

Teabagging in fron of the White House? I am so there.

qwerty42 February 26, 2009 at 10:54 am

[re=253269]WadISay[/re]: do they have a blimp? I don’t know how serious they can be if they don’t. I like the signs. Maybe some denouncing fiat money.

S.Luggo February 26, 2009 at 10:55 am

[re=253274]Peanut Inspector[/re]: Yeah. Rush will be there.

S.Luggo February 26, 2009 at 10:57 am

The New American Teabagged Party invites you to post your own event: http://newamericanteaparty.com/?page_id=80

Mothra Stewart February 26, 2009 at 10:58 am

“Please bring cameras, especially ones with video, American flags, and tea bags” – where can I find one of these multi-function, patriotic beverage cameras?

Aloysius February 26, 2009 at 10:58 am

Hey, what’s the temperature like there in DC right about now? I’m not so concerned about the rain, but if I’m swinging my tea bags in public I need the temp to be maybe 65 or better.

Wait a minute. Didn’t someone get in trouble once for doing this in a state park or something? Or is only queer if there’s a port-a-john involved?

gurukalehuru February 26, 2009 at 11:00 am

[re=253258]magic titty[/re]: That must clash horribly with your bright blue scrotum.

Dave J. February 26, 2009 at 11:01 am

[re=253280]Mothra Stewart[/re]: That’s odd, I did a google search for “video + tea bags” but the results were weird and didn’t have much to do with earmarks or omnibus spending legislation.

dougbob February 26, 2009 at 11:03 am

damn. i smoked all my tea bags….

HopeyDope February 26, 2009 at 11:12 am

He said “tea bags”. And meant it.

These people must want us to elect Obama as our Supreme Overlord and Emperor for All Time.

Peanut Inspector February 26, 2009 at 11:13 am

Tea bags? Rain? Umm, unless they are planning on making a refreshing beverage, I’m not sure they have really thought this one through.

assistant/atlas February 26, 2009 at 11:19 am

[re=253272]Dave J.[/re]: Um, in light of this and Sarah’s point about their tiny tea bags just not cutting it, I’m beginning to think their media consulting was a bit…lacklustre. Hey guys if you need someone who knows big, evil media, I’m always willing to take on as clients clueless people with lots of money. Didn’t think there were many left. Phew! Call me!

Godot February 26, 2009 at 11:22 am

[re=253259]qwerty42[/re]: Hey maybe we can get a LARP going while we’re at it.

The Neoskeptic February 26, 2009 at 11:37 am

this doesn’t make ANY sense. the communist Obama administration is nothing like the tyrannical King George and all of his stamp tax acts. He’s so much more like stalin, with the goulags and the bread lines and the what-have-you.

maybe they should have a protest where they build a replica of the BERLIN WALL around themselves. that would make it much easier for the rest of us anyway….

TGY February 26, 2009 at 11:41 am

I presume they’ve decided taxation with representation isn’t a whole lot better than taxation without representation.

Origami February 26, 2009 at 11:47 am

[re=253312]Peanut Inspector[/re]: My prediction: a group of 20 or so awkward white college boys in South Park t-shirts and cotton shorts (in winter, no less) with fistfuls of brown goop in their hands, tiny tea strings with Yogi Tea “inspirational messages” scattered about the wet asphalt and the smell of Kava mercifully masking the stench of sweaty, unwashed socks that seems to surround the Paultards.

After about 20 minutes of milling around in the rain (only one person will have brought an umbrella but he will leave because he has to go pick up his friend Steve from Blockbuster in like 5 minutes) the group will disband, later writing of their victory on their Tumblrs even though the local news report on the “protest” shows them to be nothing but tea-stained buffons who are just killing time until they can play Guitar Hero again.

hobgoblin of little minds February 26, 2009 at 11:51 am

Is Malkin showing up in her cheerleader costume? She needs to be slapped upside the head with some tea bags. And Truck Nutz.

Didn’t the paultards tell these teabaggers that this whole march things is an epic fail?

bago February 26, 2009 at 11:54 am

Is it bad that I know where this is at in DC thanks to Fallout 3?

Hooray For Anything February 26, 2009 at 11:56 am

[re=253259]qwerty42[/re]: What about guys in Brown Shirts? That seems somewhat appropriate to all of this.

Come here a minute February 26, 2009 at 11:58 am

[re=253339]TGY[/re]: Shorter teabaggers: “Taxation is Tyranny”

Mad Farmer Manifest February 26, 2009 at 12:00 pm

I would welcome an actual conservative party in this country, in contrast to the fascists we just deposed. The Democrats are going to become bloated turds without someone to keep them sharp. God knows that the Republicans are only a threat to themselves these days. Think of it: a party of tea-bagging Paultards. That’s an opposition I can believe in!

President Beeblebrox February 26, 2009 at 12:07 pm

This is GREAT NEWS !!! FOR THE CRAZY RIGHT WING OF THE LIBERTARIAN PARTY !!!

Srsly, I used to be a big-L Libertarian. LP conventions were always a barrel of laffs because the loony right (anarcho-libertarian gun rights/property rights/Remember Ruby Ridge/Crazed Wild-Eyed Loner types) was in a constant state of tension with the loony left (let’s grow medical marijuana/legalize all drugs/decriminalize everything Crazed Wild-Eyed Hippie types). It was a weird yin/yang type of situation, with one side constantly threatening to overwhelm the other with party officers, platform planks, etc.

When Bob Barr ran as the LP candidate in 2008, it seemed that the Loony Right won the game that year… but now it seems the folks who are too loony for the LP and Ron Paul are now about to start their Very Own Political Party, strictly for the lulz. I can’t wait.

TestRat1 February 26, 2009 at 12:09 pm

Ahh Yes. Teabagging. Its a good thing.

sux2bu February 26, 2009 at 12:26 pm

[re=253275]The Neoskeptic[/re]: Per John Cleese, the preferred term is “twat.”

President Beeblebrox February 26, 2009 at 12:32 pm

Yay, the party is sponsored by the very folks who love the Crazy Right Wing of the Libertarian Party:

“This website is specifically dedicated to the Washington, D.C. effort specifically sponsored by the American Spectator, the Heartland Institute, Americans for Tax Reform, the National Taxpayers Union, Americans for Prosperity, and the Young Conservatives Coalition.”

ATR is, of course, Grover Norquist’s puppy.

hobospacejungle February 26, 2009 at 12:39 pm

It’s just going to be the detritus from CPAC, after a day of seminars headed by JTP, John Bolton, GG Liddy and Michelle Malkin. All of whom are there according to a friend who’s there undercover as part of his PhD research. He’s currently sitting in a Malkin seminar where someone just suggested tarring & feathering President Hopey. I guess this person thought lynching was one step too far.

sux2bu February 26, 2009 at 1:14 pm

The Paultards are coming! The Paultards are coming!

bitchincamaro February 26, 2009 at 1:18 pm

[re=253239]Guppy06[/re]: +1 for “puff of logic”.

4tehlulz February 26, 2009 at 1:20 pm

>>I guess this person thought lynching was one step too far.

Since when did they allow hippy peacenik fags in CPAC?

finland February 26, 2009 at 1:36 pm

first these people want us to send physical truck nutz to male congressmen. now they want us to wave tea bags around in the air. i’ll be sure to bring my “liberty-minded” feather boa just for the occasion.

Botswana Meat Commission FC February 26, 2009 at 1:46 pm

Paultards, meet the Tea ‘Bags.

duker155 February 26, 2009 at 1:55 pm

“Tea bagging” is a slang term for when a person stimulates a man’s testicles with her or his mouth. Some people use “tea bagging” to refer to the act of lowering one’s scrotum into another person’s mouth.

Conservatives, testicles, scrotums. ’nuff said?

AWOcoholic February 26, 2009 at 2:00 pm

Wonkette: Please provide continuing coverage on this very important teabagging.

teklanika February 26, 2009 at 2:04 pm

[re=253259]qwerty42[/re]: Did you notice that they actually did put out a call for Revolutionary War reenactors? http://newamericanteaparty.com/?p=25

*blink blink*

Truth is stranger than fiction…

TeddyS February 26, 2009 at 2:07 pm

Michelle plans to give her girls several thermos bottles of hot water, and containters of cream and sugar from the White House kitchen and they will all go over and mingle with the crowd as an extra school credit. In America, you don’t have to be black to succeed in life.

doxastic February 26, 2009 at 2:27 pm

[re=253421]President Beeblebrox[/re]: What, no Club for Growth? Amateurs…

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